


Flight of a Valkyrie

by Rhigama



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Adult Situations, Alcohol, Canon events are followed with some alterations., Controlled Substances, Corpses, Crude Humor, Dark, Death, Dirty Talk, Don't worry it'll be fun., Erwin Smith x Reader x Levi Ackermann, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Gore, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Hair Pulling, Hange is irresponsible., Jealousy, Lemon, Light Choking, Lime, Miche not 'Mike'., No seriously--she really is., Nudity, Other, Overstimulation, PTSD, Power Play, Reader Insert, Reader also may or may not be a little frisky, Reader might have a mouth, Reader x levi - Freeform, Romance, Rough Sex, Scars, Sexual Situations, Sexual Tension, Teasing, Temporary Love Triangle, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, You gonna be in over your head baby girl., ZERO Descriptive Blanks, because them boys don't dig sharing., extreme violence, implied rape, reader x erwin, suggestive content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2020-08-10 04:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 137,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhigama/pseuds/Rhigama
Summary: Out in the field the Scouts Regiment never knows what to expect. Heavens know they try, but there is no real way to predict every outcome. It is most fortunate that they are not the only ones trying to survive out in the wilds beyond Wall Maria, deep into titan country. A chance encounter drives them together. A stranger throws them a lifeline when they most need it, like a valkyrie of lore flying through the battlefield.Even with that much, things are about to get uglier. Sometimes it is necessary to become as vicious as the beasts we hunt.TEMPORARY: Levi Ackermann x Reader x Erwin SmithFINAL: Reader x Erwin Smith*** Voting is closed--thank you. Read notes for more details. ***





	1. Far Afield

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I have been away from Ao3 for some time now, but I always return. Life happens as they say.
> 
> I also recently purchased and watch all of the Attack on Titan series (also in my silliness and eagerness, watched it out of order because on my Xbox I missed purchasing one season and didn’t realize until I was blatantly confused) so...things may be a little out of whack. I do apologize for this. I’m going to be watching it all over again since it’s so enjoyable, and this time I’ll do so in the correct order. Many parts will be happening in the days that go on between key episodes. 
> 
> Now to the meat of the matter! This is reader insert. I will see fit to bounce from perspective to perspective. Much of it will take place in third person---YOUR point of view.
> 
> I also don’t believe in ‘descriptive blanks’, an oxymoron that baffles me. I wish for this to read fluidly. I will be making some assumptions about character appearance but shall keep them to a minimum. The reader here is female obviously.  
I may also see fit to give her a nickname and you shall see why going forward. It is a nickname I used in another fic as well, for any that might care. I will likely also be giving a surname, but the first name is yours to do with as you wish. I am aware some like their given birth name, some substitute a different one.
> 
> Last matter to highlight is the pairing. It will be kicking off as Levi x Reader x Erwin. This concept is subject to change.
> 
> Want to weigh in on who we end up with? Vote!!! Options are LEVI and ERWIN. One-shots are going to later be made for Eren and Armin, but in this fic your character is in her late 20’s – early 30’s. This allows plenty of time for her to have become as experienced in things as she is and makes for a much less cradle-robbery situation pairing wise. 
> 
> My vote is for Levi. X3 I’m shameless. I know. 
> 
> Oh. BTW; I don’t own AoT. 
> 
> \- Rhiga

Far Afield 

The ground thundered with massive footsteps and hoof-beats. Clouds above boomed, crackled and unleashed their burden of rain. Small figures swung around hulking ones. The sound of steel parting meat and teeth cracking bone is hard to miss amidst the downpour and pea-sized hail. 

**_“RETREAT!!”_** A male screamed over that hellish storm, his blades flashing illuminated by lightning. He slung wide around, but his lines snagged when small hail pieces found their way into his gear. He felt a jerk on one line as the other stopped reeling out cord. Gravity had its way. Others were falling from grace as well around him. The storm in conjunction with these titans was too much, and it’d been a warm day so a dense mist boiled up immediately. With fog, rain and hail falling from above, it was almost impossible to see further than seven feet in front of them. A shriek to his south told him it was too late. The mist and a grinning beast within it claimed another comrade’s life. Levi could hear the grind of their bones from here.

Yeah

Commander Erwin pulled another acrobatic feat to sweep Petra out of the way from where she’d been grounded, and Eren’s form lay unconscious in the muck below. Levi began to grapple against another titan but his last set of blades were blunted. His cuts weren’t as severe upon them as he was infamous for. He was nearly swatted like a fly but a short propellant burst was all he needed to slip the smiling titan’s grasp with a whirl of blades. Thick pieces of finger thudded to below and he was freed. Poor Eren was bombarded by chunks of flesh and blood.

Levi tumbled in the mud next to him and gained the ground beneath his boots, barely, turning and dodging away before another wall of flesh could slam him down. Those who were still alive had precious little gas left to mobilize. The horses were even terrified, well trained as they were. He could hear three more of them screaming frantically and bolting away for safety. 

“COMMANDER!!!!!” Petra shrieked. “CAPTAIN!!!! EREN!!!!! OLUO!!!!” They were caught. Instinctively Levi clicked the handles of his blades, but nothing happened. Both sides of his rig were jammed, and the very last fumes leaked out on a final trigger pull. He cursed and ran for them, only to be grabbed so hard around the waist by an even larger titan that it knocked the wind clean out of him.

The last thing he saw before it all went blurry was a figure arcing through the hail, leaving ribbons of blood in its graceful wake.

Blackness.

**The Following Day, Late Afternoon~**

_Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink. Clunk…SHHHHH. _You stared exhausted down your arm at the blade quenched in water, watching steam as it blustered up. Like the titan steam in that storm still lingering outside. Those damn titans weren’t letting you get much rest recently. You lived out here your whole life and they hadn’t been this bad in a while.

Providing you knew how to handle yourself it was decent living out here. The town was known as Vanaheim, founded and settled by deserters. Here and there other wanderers off the desert showed up searching for food and fresh water, but no one really asked many questions in Vanaheim. They didn’t even use their names because chances are a titan would get them when they were out scavenging. It was easier not to get attached this way. They all went by a nickname or something chosen for themselves. In your case, your nickname ended up being ‘Hazard’ because of your often-hazardous behavior, with your birth name seldom to never spoken. Born of two deserters from the Scout Regiment, you grew up learning the ODM gear and how to repair it. When tall enough to walk without it touching the ground you learned how to fly. And when you were strong enough, Mother and Father taught you how to kill. Many scars from those days.

_So_ many.

Your eyes turned back to the blade. You removed it from water and examined its form. Still some folding to do, but it’d shape up. This was one of many that needed to be remade. You had a large box of metal bits and busted swords from the field. Sometimes salvage trips brought you quite far. The hail drove you to seek shelter when a small herd of horses bolted past, pissing off your own steed to no end. _‘Oh right. It’s feeding time.’ _You realized and set your work aside. This was a chore you didn’t mind, but today it promised to be a little more…. uh…taxing. There were more horses to feed now that you managed to round up in the hours after getting these wretched souls off the mangled battlefield and away from remains of their comrades and huge eroding corpses. A quick wash of the hands and you roamed two hallways, through a covered walkway lousy with hail once again, and into the barn. It was a hulking structure itself with a big loft that you’d sometimes climb up to. It was always kept as clean as possible so as not to attract any vermin, and the wooden patched floors were clean enough to put bedding down and sleep on; which is exactly what you did for these people. Hail created a drumming sound upon your thatched roof. You were pleased to note that recent repairs proved efficient, and the leaks revealed from another storm were gone.

So far, your new guests appeared to be asleep on their bedrolls (and some borrowed ones). Some of their horses didn’t have saddlebags intact. It was fortunate you never saw fit to toss the spare ones kept for so many years. When they were around; Mom and Dad were hoarders of such things. If someone died in town they’d be among the first to ransack their dwellings. And so, the most successful scavengers ended up with the best homes; usually growing larger and more patched by the year. You started by watering the scout horses who had gulped down what you left them with before and went over to your own. There were two older ones, a dappled gray and a brindled bay. Mom and Dad’s. These were more like pets now, kept comfortable and cared for. Today they were inside from the weather. They were fed, then a pair of gypsy vanners with two colts and a yearling. Last was your own steed.

He was stabled a couple stalls away from the others, a giant Shire with a shining chestnut and black coat, white splotches and a crooked blaze. His name’s Fury. Mostly because he has an awful attitude and didn’t tolerate other riders, even when you said it was okay. He immediately took issue with you placing two bloody survivors aboard, and nearly bucked them off his back twice on the return trip. Fury lifted his big head over the stall door and brought his velvety nose close. When you finished pouring out a bucket of water, you set it down and patted below his jaw. “You did good boy. I know you hated every second out there, but you did good.” You murmured.

Your voice was enough to waken a few of them. The man with blond hair and dense eyebrows opened his vividly blue eyes to find himself beside Reiner. The other blond was still heavily asleep. Fury snorted and bobbed his head up and down when you scratched a spot he couldn’t reach along his neck, short fur shimmering in firelight. Three heavy iron braziers along the center of the floor down the length of the barn kept lit in colder months so the animals wouldn’t freeze to death. As this was the only place large enough to house the soldiers and their mounts, it was where they landed. The braziers would help keep them warm.

“Where…” Erwin began. You frowned over at his voice and continued to oblige Fury’s request to be scratched. The beast of a horse was easily able to lower his head behind your shoulder and bump you back towards his neck. “Don’t get up too fast.” You advised the blond man, now peering at him from beside Fury's jaw. He looked over at you. Fury whickered and turned for a drink of water; so you took the chance to slip across to a chair by the door where one blade was propped. You didn’t bother picking it up. Its presence was enough. “Where the hell are we?” Oluo demanded at once, popping up from where he sat. Immediately he felt awfully dizzy and sat back down with his hands upon his head. A linen bandage was wrapped firmly around, and he could feel something tacky beneath it when he touched under an edge. “What the hell?” He grunted in bewilderment.

“Vanaheim.” You told them almost blankly. “You’re in Vanaheim. At my home. Obviously.”

“Vanaheim?” Eren groaned as he placed both hands over his face to block out any light. “What’s ‘Vanaheim’? There’s no town like that.”

“Sure there is. You’re in it, genius.” 

“No I mean, in—”  
“----You’re not IN any walls if that’s what you’re thinking. Quite opposite. You’re as far away from Wall Maria as I’ve seen any of you get without being turned into titan chow.”

“That was you?” Levi asked at last from where he lay. Overshadowed eyes flitted from corner to corner, seeking an out if it became necessary. His hands weren’t bound, but everyone else here was disarmed just the same as he. Levi sat up slowly and watched you from across the room, taking note of the lone sword. “Yes. I was out salvaging when that nasty storm hit. Your horses nearly ran me down. Went to see what the hell was going on, lo and behold.” You stood up and picked up the sword, sliding it between two weathered belts. “Before we talk any further, I’m going to grab some water. I can hear your voices cracking. Anyone who wants to lend a hand is more than welcome; but know that I don’t trust any of you freeloaders as far as I can throw you.” You turned and left them with that concept. Eren strained to sit up but realized he had so little energy left and let gravity slump him backwards again. He sensed that his wounds were fully healed. If their ‘host’ noticed his steam, she didn’t say. “Commander, do you know anything about this Vanaheim place?” He asked Erwin. “No.” The blond stated thoughtfully “This is the first I’ve heard of it. We don’t range this far into titan country for a reason. There’s too many of them to make it feasible.”

“I thought it was strange.”  
“Well I’m going to help her.” Petra declared, standing up shakily.  
“See what you can learn without risking your neck.” Levi instructed her quietly. “She did this for a reason. Figure it out.”

“Sir.” She acknowledged and left, finding her way through by where the doors were left ajar. Petra found you in a very rustic kitchen, with every surface composed of raw scrubbed wood and wrought iron. You had the scout’s water skins and were already filling one at the sink. She paused in the doorway and wondered how it was possible you had running water this far out. “Can I help?”

“Sure.” You said without looking at her as you screwed a cap shut, and selected an empty skin to fill. “You can barely stand. But since when has that ever stopped a ranger from doing her part?” You turned and offered her a fistful of leather straps connected to the few full ones. “Maybe you can figure out whose is whose. I washed them out to be careful. Sure it doesn’t matter much though, drinking from someone else’s water can’t be any worse than being trapped in a titan’s slimy mouth.”

“Y-you saw that huh?” She half-asked nervously. Like the others she’d been on the last of her blades. One stalled in its sheath on her rig, and the other got knocked away before she finished latching steel to hilt. They were on fumes and utterly exhausted by then. All of them. Even the Commander and oh-so-beloved Levi; though he tried his level best not to show it. “Secret’s safe with me. We’ve all been there.” You told her and poured into another water bladder. She accepted this one too and felt a wave a dizziness wash over her, shakily moving to the counter top to lean against it while waiting. “Are you a deserter?” She asked perhaps too bluntly. Her brain wasn’t working at full capacity right now. Or was it ever?

Amazingly you didn’t seem offended by this question. “No. Born and raised outside Wall Maria.”

“But you know the names of our walls?”

“I told you that _I’m_ not a deserter. My parents are another story.” You watched a lone mosquito cling to the outer windowpane as another container was filled. Its entire body was the size of a human pupil. “And that’s all you need to know, freeloader.”

“Ah--! That’s not fair, we didn’t ask for this!”  
“You didn’t ask to be saved? Hmph, I’ll remember that next time.” You capped off the last one and turned without warning to exit for the barn. Petra wobbled after you, blessedly at a loss for words. It was all she could do to concentrate on walking without falling over. Why'd she feel so damn _weak_? 

On the way through she got a better look around now that hail stopped crunching down from above. It was beginning to melt into sodden grass and soil, and gray mist hung silently past hefty perimeter fences with unusually high posts. The actual fence part was only big enough to stop horses from escaping. She spied buildings along with other spire-like structures looming in the far distance, their features distorted in motionless fog. There wasn’t a wind to clear it. This type of weather made even a seasoned scout nervous. Most titans could sneak up on your ass in this muck. Softer ground is better at absorbing impact tremors and is harder for horses to navigate. But the abundance of structures was comforting. They could get a good hold on those and swing around in a hurry---if only they had their damn gear.

That very thing was about to be discussed as you both entered the barn, where everyone had scooted closer to the braziers and were warming their hands. Petra helped pass around water to her comrades. When you approached Eren and gave him one, he gratefully accepted with a warm smile. “Thanks.” He was nice at least. You gave a curt nod. “Sure.”

“What do we call you?”

A pause. “Names aren't very useful around here. But...at some point; can't remember when, everybody began calling me Hazard.”

A blink. “That’s a word, not a name.”

“It’s that or ‘Hey You’. Pick one.”

“Hey. You.” Levi. Naturally. “What happened out there? We need details. And where's our gear?”

“I suppose you deserve that much, but it can wait. I’m guessing no one wants to take up residence around here, so I have to start dinner if you want to reserve your rations for the return trip.” You hesitated and relented quite as fast. “Looks like you people are in desperate need of a shower, too. There’s two small bathrooms in this house. Everyone’s free to use them, but you better leave them how you found them.” You broke off, firing an annoyed glimpse in a ponytailed girl’s direction. You could hear her belly growling from here. She began to raise her hand. “What does this look like, a school house?”

“I-I was just wondering if you wanted any help?” She offered hopefully, eyes gleaming. "It's going to be a lot of work." 

“No. I don’t trust any of you assholes near a knife right now.” Sasha opened and closed her mouth like a wide-eyed fish and turned to look helplessly at Eren. He tried not to laugh at both her expression and your bluntness.

“Just go get yourselves cleaned up.” You left the room adding, “AND STAY OUTTA MY FORGE!!”

“A woman with a forge?” Oluo muttered curiously. “That’s something I gotta try.” He got his head turned from Petra for the moment. Which is when she found the will to move again, naturally. “Ladies first!” Petra got up and awkwardly barged past him to the door you left through for the second time. He sprang up, sidetracked right back into his normal perversion. “Well, I better make sure she’s okay finding it!” 

“Tch. Idiots.” Levi grunted and drank more of his water. Mikasa was still unconscious through this, but after you shouted about the forge, she jolted. The poor girl squirmed upright; panting out of her nightmare of blood, evil men and red scarves. “Mikasa?!” Eren got up and crossed to where she sat, a hand over her heart. She realized the scarf wasn’t on and looked around frantically. “Where?!” She asked breathlessly and caught sight of a wide red strip slung up next to her cloak over one of the few empty stall doors. Their cloaks and harnesses were all over the place in here, hanging out to dry. Those straps would’ve kept moisture into their clothing. Every one of them were soaked to the bone earlier and probably fit to catch a pneumonia, but having slept by the braziers for awhile they were now dry. “You’re okay, we’re all okay!” Eren reassured her hurriedly. Mikasa regained her composure, dark eyes moving from the scarf to her childhood friend. “Eren….you’re alright?” She whispered hoarsely. Eren picked up the water bladder left beside Mikasa’s bedroll and uncapped it for her. She drank gratefully. “I remember getting knocked into a tree and now we’re here.” She whispered again after a hefty quaff. “Yeah. This woman calling herself Hazard helped us out.” Eren said, referring to the debacle of a skirmish. “She’s nice enough, but I'm not sure I trust her. We don’t know where our equipment is either so we’re stuck for now. And I guess she went off to make dinner.”

“Yeah dunno how that’s gonna go if we can’t cut our food. Sasha wanted to help and she straight up told us ‘no knives’.” Jean grumbled from where he lay, an arm over his face and water bladder sitting upon his stomach. 

“That’s one hell of a trust issue.” Reiner, sitting beside Berthold where they’d been quietly chatting for a couple minutes. No one noticed when either of them roused from their dead sleep. “She mentioned a forge. That’s probably where she locked up our equipment.” Berthold observed. The others agreed with him. "Where does she get off taking our stuff?" Jean fumed. "What'll we do if the titans find us here? Damn it..."

"Oh I'm sorry, were we even part of the same situation out there Horseface? We have no clue where the supply carts are! Even if we _had_ our gear we can't use it much." "What did you call me?!" "You know EXACTLY what I said, HORSE-FACE." "Would you two stop?!"

As more bickering ensued; Mikasa clutched her water skin and turned her head this way and that, counting silently. This wasn’t their normal squad composition. It dawned on her. “Where’s Armin and everyone else?” Her pale face traced with worry. Eren shifted around to sit cross legged, facing her. "After that horde of titans came out of nowhere, we all got split up remember?"

“The others will be fine if Section Commander Hange or Miche are with them. Plus Armin can think circles around any titan.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She capped her drink, fumbling with the top and trying to take comfort in Bertolt's words. Her coordination wasn’t back in full. Why’d her head feel like it was so heavy? “But Eren, do you think she noticed?” Mikasa realized that her friend was sporting bandages. He shrugged. “She hasn’t said anything.”

“Let us hope it stays that way.” Erwin pointed out grimly. He'd been so quiet the others almost forgot their Commander was present, simply because he was ignoring their nonsense and trying to figure out what the hell they can do given their situation. But even he displayed exhaustion and wound wraps of his own. His keen mind patiently turned fact by fact over like cards, interpreting the events of their past 24 hours. So Commander Smith kept rather silent, letting the others gab about anything they wanted. 

Humanity's Greatest Soldier on the other hand was not trying to sit around in dirt caked clothes. He grabbed the strap of his bag and arose.  
“Whatever. I’m going to clean up.” Levi shouldered his pack and left them with their ruminations. He wasn’t sure of the layout, but it seemed easy enough to locate the kitchen. On the way there he saw that this downstairs bathroom was quick to find. Oluo was by it trying to peep on Petra. Levi cuffed him over the head on his way by. “Don’t be a pig Oluo.” He ignored the other’s immediate protest (only to chomp his wagging tongue as usual) and stepped into the kitchen, where you already had a few pots sitting over open flame. There was no stove in here, only a hearth with blackened metal armatures used to suspend cooking vessels by the fire. He watched you remove wet vegetables from the sink, most of them tubers. Hunks of red meat were already chopped and waiting in a hammered metal bowl. His own belly rumbled subtly. How long had it been since any of them saw that much fresh meat? This mound of the stuff you had was so fresh it was still bright red, having barely oxidized. A separate bowl overflowed with bloody scraps of fat and tendons. Captain Levi was not immune to the ravages of hunger and thirst. If anything he was too familiar with both from his youth, and it was an unpleasant reminder when his stomach scorched with hunger at its own hollowness over the past few week. They were lost in uncharted territory for days longer than their rations were meant to support. Erwin made the executive decision that they'd need to cut their rations down significantly so they'd have food to sustain them while they got their bearings. Then another mob of titans descended upon them, and they suffered further losses. More hearts given. More trauma inflicted.

“What do you need?” You asked calmly without looking up, having started chopping tubers while waiting for him to speak. Levi might've cursed himself for remaining quiet to long.

“There’s another bathroom?”

“Upstairs to the right. You'll see soap by the sink. Help yourself.” Didn’t matter how much of it was used. There was more tucked away since everyone stockpiles like they're awaiting an apocalypse out here. A person didn’t get far here unless they had a useful skill or learned quick or had access to something others didn’t. One neighbor owned once-wild goats and would trade wool, cheese and milk. A handful of trappers always had meat, furs and leather on offer. Since horses are so important to survival, there's also a dedicated horse breeder across town with a big pasture who probably maintained the most comfortable lifestyle in Vanaheim. He lived with a woman who knew how to make soap from scratch, and a passable knowledge of how to weave fabric from plant and animal fibers. Any product from that household always came out smelling floral, herbal, or like sea salt. Often altogether. Their daughters were usually out in the ‘safe’ foothills scrounging for wildflowers and herbs, but the older one made salves out of it and would help her mother with sewing. You had to use almost all of what you had of that salve on these wayward souls. Considering that Levi would have to use your makeshift shower to wash any grime off, the salve would be rinsed off also. You had no clue about this but Levi was completely disgusted with his personal state of cleanliness. That's to say, _lack thereof_ cleanliness.

So with much in mind, you exhaled a tiny sigh. “Please don’t waste those." You pointed with your knife before returning its edge to the cutting board. "Good clean linen is hard to find around here, you and your friends are wearing what I had. I’ll give you the very last of my salve for your wounds to use as you see fit. I have to trade for some horse supplies later anyway, might as well pick up more of that too.”

Levi assumed as much without you needing to tell him, about saving the linen. “Sure.” He said after another minute of watching you chop. There were wild onions, fragrant herbs and garlic. “I don’t plan on being long.”

“Doubt you'd want to.” You almost snorted. “The water's going to be ice cold, I'm sure the cistern managed to collect hail. I needed to boil water to wash those cuts.” Them not waking during wound care was thanks to a heavily alcoholic medicine syrup you kept on hand right next to that salve. It normally left the recipient unconscious and led to peculiar dreams while lessening their pain. The one self-proclaimed doctor around here (everyone creatively called him 'Doc') favored it for patients that needed any wounds sewn or bones set. Well, that and a bit of leather between their teeth. You almost smirked at the thought. A few of them babbled funny things in their delirium. “I don’t know much about medical shit, but there’s a guy in town who’ll sew you up for a price if anyone ends up needing that. He’s not exactly nimble fingered though. You come away feeling like you got chewed up and spit out.”

He ignored that. Levi was more interested in retrieving other answers from you. “How is it that you are doing this for us when it clearly inconveniences you? Supplies can’t be easy to come by and you’re using yours on us. Leaving us to die would've made more sense for a drifter.”

You stopped chopping for a second, staring at one of those familiar old nicks in your wooden counter. Many things in this house had a memory behind it. Even little dents. Like this one, left when you mouthed off to your Mother about this very thing. _‘Why are we wasting our stuff on strangers?’_ “Sometimes we need to leave our fellow humans to die. Yesterday wasn’t one of those days.” You took a drink of crystal-clear liquid from a short cup. He figured it wasn’t water. “If it makes more sense to you; they talked about the regiment a lot, my parents did. Lots of fond memories. Decided to leave before so they wouldn't join their comrades in a titan’s gut; and I guess a year or so later I rolled down the tube. Stupid as it sounds, thank you for training them so well. Or else I’d be dead.”

Levi chose to ignore that vaguely twisted sentiment as well. “And where are these parents of yours now?”

Your eyes met his from over the cup. “Out back.” You put it down and returned to chopping, a moment later dumping a third of the ingredients into each pot. He understood. You spoke of them in the past tense. “Gonna clean up or not?”

He took his cue and left, expression hardening. There are traitors here, he knew this now. But how many? How many did they know, if any? Did any of them know _your_ family, then? It made his blood boil. Here they are risking their lives and those who actively decided to give their hearts decided to break that solemn vow. It was fucking sickening, but none of that was your fault. Still, Levi couldn't shake the feeling that you likely knew when the outer wall was taken; same as everybody else. That bastard Colossal Titan kicking down the gate at Shiganshina was probably hard to miss hearing, even this far afield. It was a massive explosion. The fact that this happened when there was any kind of properly trained soldier out here was infuriating, with years worth of resources wasted on people who chose to cut and run. He turned away with a scowl ripping his mouth. 

You ignored that ugly expression. Slowly sipping some more rotgut, you had a perfect view of that fine ass walking up those stairs.

**Almost Two Hours Later...**

The stew was hardy and fortunately not terrible, compared to the dry goods they subsisted on recently it was borderline gourmet. You divided up a couple loaves of dense brown 'honey bread' for everyone to share, taking only a small heel for yourself. Sasha gobbled her portion up gladly and poured seconds while others filled their bellies slower. You let them eat in peace. They probably wouldn’t be turning spoons with clay bowls into weapons. And anyhow if they wanted a fight, the scouts would’ve started one by now. The majority of them were now reasonably clean and hydrated. The stew was a hefty blend of tubers, veggies, mushrooms and venison weighing them down and creating a sense of overfed exhaustion. Though their actual exhaustion was also due to the dregs of what medicine they’d been fed the other day, whatever the hell it was knocked every last one out hard. Jean was convinced that he had a hangover. He remembered what having one felt like from boot camp, when Ymir purloined a bottle of whisky from the officer's cupboard and the lot of them played drinking games. Jean was so bad at them, he was trying not to hurl when they went on training maneuvers the next day.

You went to your kitchen to eat alone, thinking of how the sleeping situation would go. Not for them, but yourself. Could you trust them to not mess around the house when you slept? Sleepless nights were quite common here when the moon was proud and bright, but you’d at least get a solid couple hours reliably on and off. When the moon was waning you had an easier time of things. Having these unexpected guests provided more work than you needed during this point in the moon phase. But you actually didn't have a reason to regret helping them. They behaved appropriately enough and perhaps could be trusted to remain pleasant and unassuming. And fuck…if you couldn’t have a good night’s rest while there’s a barn full of titan killers around, when _would_ you? 

With a resigned sigh you went back to said barn and opened the door. They went quiet, looking up from their bowls, all seated around braziers again. The way they were sitting also indicated who they respected most, so you directed your attention towards Eyebrows and Mister Grey-Eyed Grouch. “Hey. Boss-men. When you’re done filling your faces, we need to talk about some ground rules before nightfall. No rush. I’ll be in my forge.” Erwin was quick to agree. Maybe some real answers could be had at last.

“Ground rules? What’re we, like, five?” Jean snarked and narrowly avoiding getting clonked over the head by Reiner. “Shut up and be grateful we have a roof between us and that damn storm out there. Can't you hear it?” This was rhetorical. Reiner felt like they were trapped inside a drum. The roof boomed with hail on and off, but for the past hour it sounded more like a driving rain.  
“Amd we have shum food!” Sasha burbled with her gob full. She was on her fourth helping. There was meat to be had and she was here for it.

“But the others...we have to go find them!”  
“Trust in their ability to survive, Eren. You know they have no intention of dying.” Erwin told him not unkindly and gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “We will find them. But right now we are in no position to do so. Levi, when you're finished we will go talk to this ‘Hazard’ about that very thing. We need to know where we stand.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious don’t you?” Levi asked coldly as he tucked away a piece of bread. They'd get through the remainder of their food without cramming themselves. When done, Levi stood and nearly wobbled upon doing so. That last 18-meter fucker wrenched his legs good. His ribs ached like hell also. But he kept himself together same as Erwin and followed the Commander out. Reiner was correct; it was raining but beginning to taper off, and all signs of hail were melted. Across the corral they saw a big wooden gate open, and a way past that was a stone building with a blackened chimney. It looked to be attached to the house by another covered walkway. From beyond stone-lined windows they could hear the steady ‘tink, tink, tink’ of a smith’s hammer. They headed on over and knocked beside the door before entering. You were inside of course, donning a sooty leather apron and swinging your hammer down upon one of many blades in a shower of sparks. You turned and peered over your shoulder through firelit gloom and returned to your work. TINK. TINK. TINK. They could see how sculpted your arms are for a female. Not butch. _Defined._ Those muscles rippled like water under fire-scarred skin. It’s hard not to admire a woman who doesn’t fear strength; but neither displayed that he might like what he was seeing. They kept professional. “How’s morale?” You inquired, dipping glowing metal into water with a hiss. Here it was. This conversation was bound to set you on edge. You could feel it in your bones. 

“We’re alive and in one piece. On behalf of all, thank you again for your assistance.” Erwin said most sincerely. But this didn’t answer to the mentality you asked after. You let it go. “So you have names, correct?”

“Yes. I am Commander Erwin Smith and this is Special Ops Captain Levi Ackerman. A pleasure to meet you. If only it were under better circumstances.” 

“Hah, couple of bigshots huh? Alright Commander and, uh, Captain. Here’s the deal.” You stepped aside from the anvil and pointed the head of your hammer across to a wall, where their omni-directional gear was stacked up like cordwood beside three connected work benches in an ‘L’. “It doesn’t happen often, but the titans do find their way here. In these parts we get ones that can somehow blunder around at night when there’s moonlight. Since we are at that time in the cycle they’re bound to come sniffing around. But quite frankly, I’m exhausted. They’ve been attacking every night for the past week, and I live alone. If any of you are up to it, the help would be most appreciated. I get that none of you _asked_ for my help and you owe me nothing; but I'm kind of running on fumes here. So if you're willing to assist, I'm pleased to accept so I can get some sleep.” If you didn't...well, maybe you'd start hallucinating. It'd be fun until you have to defend yourself.

“I think we can manage that.” Erwin nodded once, understanding the feeling himself. There were days in the field as a cadet when he wanted nothing more than to find a soft spot and curl up after endless hours spent being driven to the brink. “Levi and I can see who is able to stand watch in shifts. It is no different than what we do on an everyday basis in the field.”

“Right. But we don’t have any gas canisters left. The supply cart ran off and most of our blades are shot.” Levi pointed out, bluegray eyes straying towards where you had crates full of splintered steel. You followed his gaze. “There’s no denying that your equipment’s in bad shape. A lot of it was gummed up by blood and hail. Truly, you’re in dire straits if you think you’re making it home on what you have now. Which is nothing but a herd of tired horses and a handful of hardtack.”

“Thanks for captioning the obvious.” Levi scoffed. “So do you have gear for us or not? We can’t fight anything coming our way without it. Not without unnecessary casualties.”

“Use your eyes." You flung your hands up to what was around. "In Vanaheim if you get it in your head to start fighting titans, you come to me. That's -my- job around here.” You wiped your hands off on a rag. “Hm...you'll be better off with what you’re used to. Nothing fancy; but I have three or four sets of reclaimed ODM gear I’m willing to loan.” You turned and squinted past your forge to search them out.

“How exactly do you get the propellant?” Levi asked, watching Erwin cross to a work bench and examine what appeared to be a larger set of gear than anything they came out here with. He picked up one part that contained blades, sitting disconnected from its maneuver component housing pistons and grappling hooks. Levi walked over beside him and picked up its twin. Oof, this was _way_ heavier alright. “Same way your engineers do I assume, it's iceburst stone. And there’s a mine with pockets of gas that we cracked into and retrofitted with manual pumps, that stuff doesn't have the same amount of kick but it's still serviceable. Though it's harder to reach lately.” You rummaged around on the opposite end of the shop, unaware of what they were doing. You manage not to remark that on a good month, your scavenging trips would collect enough gas from dead scouts. They might not appreciate hearing you come out and say how profitable it was to capitalize off their dead fellows. “Two, annnnnd…three. Let’s see, I should have a---hey!! Put that down!!!”

Erwin turned, now holding the middle ODM component between both hands. “This was enlarged?” He questioned, unconcerned with your outburst. You practically growled at him under your breath. “…Yeah.”

“These were designed by the Engineer Corps as they’ve been for a reason. Why would you alter it this way?”

“To compensate for weight and add a kick.” You put a gear set down and crossed over to them, taking the device from Erwin’s calloused hands and putting it back. “What works for them doesn’t work for me out here. I found that out the hard way. So what if it’s a bit jerry-rigged? It does what I need it to.” Their expressions were both dubious. You sighed and turned to Levi, who had one of the sword sheathes standing up on its back end. “Here, look." You showed them the control handles. "There are two settings on these switches, right there above the blade release. ‘C’ for Conserve, ‘FT’ for Full Throttle. Designed for extra speed when you’re caught in a cluster of those lumbering bastards. It lets me shred straight through them.”

“It’s too damn heavy.” Levi pointed out, turning the big sheathe back onto its side. At some point you took the time to engrave small details around the corners. For such a monstrous set of ODMG, you managed to give it a less brutish flair. Perhaps out of boredom one day, who knows? But he couldn't deny that this would be _too much_ ODMG for most soldiers. “This would slow anyone down. Speed is how you keep alive.”

“Don’t let its weight fool you. The size of this gear might be intimidating, but it’s designed to haul ass when needed. Stores four extra blades and double high-volume canisters, one along top and one underneath. With increased anchor strength, distance and reel speed as well, it completely outstrips your standard equipment.” Your brusque demeanor was gradually reducing with exhaustion into something more professional. This wasn’t an awful conversation like you thought it’d be, too bad if they decided to break a rule and poke around. Talking about something in your wheelhouse was comforting anyway. You couldn’t resist a tired smile at their curiosity. Levi rubbed a thumb over part of the engravings at the back edge of a scabbard. “So as long as it isn’t on full throttle constantly it shouldn’t run out of gas quickly. Alright. I can see how that would be useful, if the size alone wasn't unnecessary." 

"Generally." You ignored the second part of his statement. "The extra canister on each side compensates for the extra amount of gas used at full speed. I designed it this way out of necessity, normal ODMG runs out too fast for my liking on salvage runs, and I prefer to free up as much room as possible. This isn't what I'd use for dedicated titan killing though, so when I'm out for a few days at a time I use this one because the gas lasts as long as I need it to. I can get away with leaving it on 'C' about 80% of the time." 

Erwin smirked. “Well _you_ wouldn't, Levi.” 

“Tch.”

You uncrossed your arms and put a hand on your hip. "Anyway it's customized top to bottom for living out here, maybe it wouldn't function as you'd want for your purposes. Then again, _yours_ got screwed up with the weather conditions, a handful of them had gunk trapped up inside the housing. Mud, blood, titan spit, hell if I know other than 'nasty'." You picked up what was Sasha's gear, opened a reel hub, and showed them. "See? There's a lot more like this. Certainly didn't help when you were running on fumes to begin with."

“That’s how you were able to use your ODM gear when ours failed. I thought it was peculiar.” Erwin said, realizing that much of what you said was strangely familiar. He had some input years ago on today’s ODMG. It was like talking with one of those engineers from before. A few of them had gone missing back when, on field tests for equipment changes. Perhaps one of those people were your mother or father. “I have to say though, this is impressive given your situation. From what little I saw you performed well out in the field when we needed aid. It was certainly welcome though unexpected.”

Levi eyed Erwin, absorbing his thoughtful tone and more-serious-than-usual nature. _‘He better not be thinking what I **know** he’s thinking.’ _

“Pretty much. So?” You asked, drawing their attention with a clatter of steel. They looked back up to see you hefting a pile of blade 'cartridges'. “Care to strap on a pair, gentlemen? I have three you can use. Fully functional, but not yours. _Yours_ are over there needing to be fixed. We can talk about that tomorrow. You should, “You yawned. “Uhm, see who’s up to it. I might have one or two more ODM rigs available and enough swords.”

Levi and Erwin exchanged strange looks before leaving. Time to rally the troops.

No rest for the wicked, as they say.


	2. Parts Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scouts near and far have lost their way in parts unknown. You awaken to find they're trustworthy, at least for now.  
Time to hatch a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who checked this out on the first chapter, it’s not often that such a thing happens. :3
> 
> I don’t subscribe to the same dislike of Petra some appear to have. Is there anything about her in the manga to have earned some hate?
> 
> Additionally: yes I know titans technically have nothing more than a muscles, bones and a stomach for insides. I have decided to give them other entrails because of delicious yummy blood and gore reasons.
> 
> Please don't forget to vote! Choices yet again are Levi or Erwin. I'm realizing I actually like both a whole lot, but I'd prefer to pick one for the long run so help me out with some opinions on that, if you guys don't mind. ^^ This chapter is a bit longer than the first one. Things will pick up in due time and there is a hint on the eventual fate of Vanaheim in this one, so not to worry, we won't be there forever. And that's all I'm saying about that for now. <3

Parts Unknown

On their way back through, Erwin ruminated aloud to Levi. “I wonder how long our new friend’s hospitality will last. I haven’t much of a read on her yet.”

“She wasn’t expecting guests obviously.” Levi said, running one finger over a shelf on his way by. It came away with a thin slick of dust. “Doubt she has enough supplies to pass around without having any left after we’re gone. Assuming she’s interested in helping us get out of here beyond personal interest. Right now, she wants enough peace of mind to sleep. What will it be next?”

“Agreed. I have no intention of letting us remain here. As we have learned this town is composed of deserters, we won’t be welcome for long. If at all.” He watched Levi rub the dust from his index finger in a flicker of disgust, and pushed a door open to the covered walkway. “At least she can be reasoned with, which is more than can be said of any titan we’d cross.”

“We don’t know if the townsfolk can be reasoned with too.” Levi pointed out shrewdly. “But she mentioned ‘trade’. We can work with that.”

“As we are presently trading ‘peace of mind’ for one night’s worth of borrowed equipment, we’ll need to keep thinking of what else there is to offer.” They strode inside the barn. A few were laying back on their bedrolls, but everyone straightened up when both men reappeared. “We have spoken with our host. She has requested that we take the night shift and will be loaning three volunteers a set of ODM gear, gas canisters and blades. Do we have anyone willing to step forward?”

“I will be one of them.” Levi told everyone, quite predictably. The man hardly sleeps. He’d been passed out since yesterday same as everyone else. On average Levi would sleep no more than three hours. He was plenty prepared to kick some titan ass. 

“Uh…we aren’t doing this in shifts, sir?” Eren asked, raising a bandaged hand. 

“Depending on how many are willing. But we need _you_ to recover while we have a place to do so, Yeager. Going out there when you can barely stand is a stupid way to die.”

“Sir. I will go.” Mikasa raised her voice and stood. If Eren was staying out of harm’s way, she could show her appreciation for your assistance by doing this. You bandaged him same as everyone while he was covered in titan steam from his wounds. Not caring as much about herself; that meant so much to Mikasa. If you wanted him dead then killing him while they slept would’ve been a golden opportunity. 

“Fine.” Levi consented and cast his withering gaze around. The _‘don’t make me MAKE you people’_ look. Reiner stood up as Berthold watched him apprehensively. No one else seemed to catch his expression. “Me. No way I’m getting any sleep here anyway.” 

“We have our three then. Mikasa and Reiner, should you need to switch out let me know.” Erwin said. “Follow Levi back to Hazard’s forge. She will outfit you.” Noticing that Levi had gone and taken his harness from its place over a stall door, they did the same. Mikasa felt naked without it on anyway. Levi led them back to your forge, where you had three sets of ODMG out. Each pair of scabbards was loaded with swords, and there was a wooden box beside them with six loaded gas cartridges and six extra swords also. You were scrutinizing the central component of a fourth set of gear that wasn’t fit to be used but paused and raised your eyebrows when they entered. “Looks like it’s definitely going to be three for tonight. This last set isn’t functional.” You told Levi as he led Reiner and Mikasa through.

“What about that one?” Reiner asked, pointing at the very set Erwin and Levi were examining earlier with much interest. “That’s mine.” You almost yawned. “And none of you will be using it.” He almost narrowed his eyes but caught a look from Levi. 

“Thank you for the loan.” Mikasa said politely, thankfully breaking the momentary awkwardness. She’d been working her harness on and now began attaching her gear. Reiner and Levi did the same. You leaned a hip against a work bench and watched for a second. It was hard not to zone out.

“Don’t thank me yet, the night’s still young.” You told her bluntly. Mikasa didn’t seem to care about your tone. She was busy strapping in. “And please don’t piss through those canisters, I’d rather they not be used. Gas doesn’t exactly grow on trees out here.”

“Yeah sure.” Reiner grunted. His own attitude was plenty noticeable, but you were also too tired to care. “Whatever. Listen; if you saw my fences on the way in, the taller posts are obviously that high so they can be used as an anchor point. There are other pylons dotted between trees that you’ll find easily, but a few got knocked down last week by some giant asshole. A handful of said pylons have sentry platforms. The ones around this farm are -my- property, so you can use them much as you need.”

“Anything else?”

You almost smirked while snuffing flames in oil lamps. “Guess I hope it goes without saying that I’m going out on a limb here trusting people I don’t know. You could kill everyone in town, raid our supplies and get home quick. They’re nothing but traitorous filth, after all, but then...you've had to trust _me_, too. That's not a simple thing.”

Ahah. Levi wondered when you’d make a crack about that, but this didn't take away from how right you were. The same rule followed that you could've left them to possibly be eaten, and they were now trusting _you_ with a lot of uneasiness to go around. So with that disturbing notion they settled for leaving your forge. Outside the three peered up almost simultaneously through moonlight and starlight, seeing those tall shapes you mentioned. Mikasa immediately tested her rig out, firing off anchors and flinging her body through space until the soles of her boots met a solid surface; one of those unusually high fence posts. She looked up when Reiner and Levi tested theirs out as well. She kicked off and zipped both anchors out to a sentry post farther away and found her body screaming through the distance quicker than she would on her own personal gear. “Good reel speed.” Reiner commented when she landed. “Trigger’s kind of light.”

“It’ll do.” Mikasa told him softly. “We should be grateful to have a way to protect ourselves.”

“Oh sure. But I don’t trust this woman as far as we can throw her. Especially after that last crack.” Reiner pulled up atop the sentry platform, where Levi was already posted. They had an excellent view up here, but there was nothing to break the wind. And this space wasn’t very large. It can’t have been meant for three people. But there they sat, with Mikasa hanging her legs over. “So that is Vanaheim.” Reiner said, able to see a whole town bathed in silver light a bit away. They couldn’t tell the details much from here. Hot yellow color burned within clusters of windows, appearing as flecks of gold from here. He turned his blond head this way and that, checking for landmarks. _‘At least now I know where it is for sure.’_ He thought with some relief. This was a place ‘they’, in the circle of titan shifters, had heard about. A sort of waystation for anyone who managed to turn human again. But they never could stay long, and it was bloody hard to find. Plus there were too many former scouts, and it was unnerving for a new shifter to be surrounded by wolves once they understood these people for who they are. A lot of shifters didn’t even make it past here. Even further out it was easy to see the desert, a tawny mass stretching far and away under the night sky to the sea. There was some grass and a bit of forest in between here and there, but where a dip sat between two foothills, he caught sight of it and almost shuddered. How many bodies rotted out there?

“Do you think we will be able to have our gear repaired, Captain?” 

Reiner blinked out of his thoughts and turned to peek over his shoulder at Levi, whose back was to them. “I leave that up to Commander Erwin.” Was his response. Reiner lightly banged a fist against the broad side of his left scabbard when he noticed that Mikasa quickly dropped the subject. “Listen, this lady can fix or make ODM gear. We can always figure out a way to make her cooperate. I know enough about how this gear works too. So does Jean.”

“We cannot force her to do anything Reiner.” Mikasa said, hugging one of her knees and propping her chin. She felt she should be appalled at Reiner for his suggestion…if she hadn’t thought of it too. Especially after what thoughts you left them with. What was stopping them but a moral compass?

“We can’t rot here either.”

“Give it time.” Levi said patiently. “We’re _stalled_, not stopped. Have faith in Commander Erwin. I doubt our host cares to have us any longer than she must anyway. Rest assured, we’re working on it.”

Ah. _He’s_ what was stopping them.

**_Closer to Earth…_**

You went upstairs and washed up without another word to anyone. It was a pleasure to finally allow your body to settle into the heap of furs atop that rough wooden frame you called ‘bed’, just being able to snuggle in and close your eyes in the dark. You didn’t know what you would awaken to, but you hoped they had more integrity than to bag and run. They’re desperate but they’re also wounded. Disarming them when you first brought them here was for everybody’s safety; you learned never to wake an armed soldier carelessly. You did so once as a child on a stormy night. Mother startled awake and pulled a knife on you, thus your first scar resulted from her. Mom nearly killed you in a moment of PTSD. That one was very pale now, extending at an angle across your throat from left collarbone to right ear. If you didn’t jolt back in fright when you did, you would’ve been very dead at the tender age of 5. 

In the barn, the others were talking about what they could do to improve their situation. Erwin mostly wrote in a small book and listened. Sasha had something to contribute. “They trade here, right?” She said, and Petra tilted her head before nodding. “So why don’t we try helping her with stuff in exchange for supplies? And _food?_ That’s what we did back home.”

“That’s what we _are_ doing.” Jean reminded her. “Remember? Mikasa, Reiner and Captain Levi are outside ‘helping’ right now.”

“But did she actually give us the gear?”

“They walked by wearing some so I guess so.”

“Sasha, you hunt right?” Eren perked up. She blinked at him. “If I went with you, do you think we could catch some game out there and bring it back? That way we can have food to carry with us.”

“Idiot, you’d only slow her down!” Oluo declared.

“I’d need a bow.” Sasha said. She thought about it. “But yeah! Then we might have stuff to trade! If I can catch a buck; we’d have hide, antlers and bones too.”

“Doesn’t it take awhile to drain the blood?” Petra asked. She thought she knew the answer. “But if you did catch one Sasha, why wouldn’t we see if we can trade the whole animal for a lot of rations? Seems like it’d be a good trade to me. And less work for us.”

Erwin smiled to himself as he listened. It was good that they weren’t letting this situation defeat them. Scout Regiment indeed; they were already searching for ways to make this whole mess good. He was quite proud of his soldiers right now. And if their fortune held out, the others outside might spot a flare from their outpost. Erwin knew he had to talk to you in the morning about that very thing. Among what else was taken from them, their flare guns were part of it. That was their only form of communication over long distance. It was less likely they’d be sending out smoke signals at night, but even if they _did_ there was no way to signal back. A thought crossed his mind, to take what warhorses they had and form a search party. But if they did so they’d be without a way to fight. Only Levi, Reiner and Mikasa had been entrusted with gear and swords. They could always make a break for it.

But no. For now they had to wait and plan. Tomorrow, Erwin decided, is when these things would be addressed one way or another. You’d earned that much patience from them.

** _In the Wilds…_ **

Armin’s small frame gave a shudder as he pulled his green cloak tighter about his body. There were beasts out there other than titans fueled by moonlight. A fox was shrieking for seventeen minutes straight (he counted) until an unseen threat passed, and this spooked every last scout up into the highest perches they could find. Hange assessed that it’d be wise to try and catch some shut-eye up in these massive trees. This way the lot of them could lean back and get some rest with less concern about getting attacked. The horses were scattered in plain sight around a clearing below, but any rambling titans never cared about them. They were nearly run to death and needed a break as much as their riders did.

“Maybe that’s Sasha’s stomach we heard earlier.” Conny joked. His attempt at humor was pale as his own face. They were exhausted and cold. Everyone was anchored to big tree branches, sitting snug against their trees and trying not to quiver at big noises in the underbrush.  
As the Scout sharing his tree dozed, Armin knew that he wouldn’t be sleeping much. He was turning too many things over in his head. Like, ‘I hope Mikasa and Eren are okay’ to, ‘How did so many titans show up out of nowhere and break the formation?’

Before the 57th Sortie could happen, preparations needed to be made. There were teams rolled out with big carts to set up supply caches, so they wouldn’t need to take as many with them for the 57th itself. Most of the 104th Cadets volunteered to go since Eren was too, in order to work on his titan shifting capabilities where there weren’t any civilians. Then the formation was smashed to bits and self-preservation took over. In the face of overwhelming odds, Eren transformed against orders and made even more of a mess of things. There was a staggering number of corpses out in those fields. Armin himself kept haunted by how they died. Others were too. He ended up on his own until Miche and company found him, and they in turn would cross paths with Hange and _her_ gang. Hange, Miche, Moblit and Gelgar were clustered tight around their map with a lit match, trying to make sense of the thing without setting it on fire. Arlert already knew what they didn’t want to admit. 

This was where the maps didn’t go. These areas are parts unknown, spots the Survey Corps didn’t dare scope out because it was far too dangerous to do so.  
He stared across at the tiny spark between them, letting his mind fall into a lull.

_ **Time passes.** _

This night didn’t end up being bad for the Reiner, Levi and Mikasa. There’d been a couple 6- and 3-meter titans wandering around, appearing more as upright babies than their lumbering 12-meter fellow, a muscular pillar of flesh with the most distorted face they’d seen in a while. There’d be kills for each of them, with Levi claiming the biggest at the start of their night shift two hours in. He’d been mentally daring them to show their faces. After what they’d been through and how many dead were left behind, what he wanted was a chance to annihilate one of those motherfuckers.

And annihilate he did. Before Mikasa or Reiner had a chance to react, Levi blasted off through the distance and his blades found that towering beast’s left arm, spiraling up it at breakneck speed until it was carved into smithereens. Oh, how he _mangled_ the thing, from scalp to heel. It was in pieces with only the nape intact when Levi finally chose to put him down. Entrails disgorged into a shredded, steaming mess among chunks and slivers of meat. Reiner knew…oh, he _knew_…that one day he could be on the receiving end of that bladed windmill. He had chance enough to observe and understand Captain Ackermann’s attack pattern and remained unable to make sense of it. He moved in such unpredictable ways at breakneck speed that the only prediction which _could_ be made is he’d go for the nape eventually. 

When he finished mauling his clueless victim, the captain arced back around in a full circle upwards and touched down atop their platform again. He was streaked with hot gore that, as they watched, began to burn off on in smoky tendrils. Levi held his right sword out and examined it as the last bits of red drifted away. “Not bad.” 

Neither Mikasa nor Reiner asked if he was okay. They knew better and would each have their turn to kill before the night’s up.

A rooster crowed dawn. Your eyes drifted open and your body felt heavy with warmth and languor beneath many furs. You mustered the will to shove them off and stretch before climbing out to dress and see what happened overnight. One thing was certain: a full night of uninterrupted slumber was rare around here. You were pleased to have had that much. In Vanaheim there were houses kept repaired in which many cohabitated to watch each other’s backs, but more often as not they robbed each other blind and started feuds. Your parents overtook this farm back then, got the forge up to snuff again and made repairs to the remainder of the house. The forge had crates of bent horse shoes from the days where this town was whole and healthy and unafraid. This very farm was one of two that bred and trained horses. Titans changed that. Those horseshoes were melted down years ago, but an old superstition had one nailed above each entryway. You didn’t know where your parents heard that horseshoes are lucky, or if they got the whole silly thing correct to garner any luck whatsoever. You suspect they did, as neither titan nor fellow man was their cause of death.

You made your way downstairs and found Sasha dipping into the last pot of cold stew with a hunk of bread she saved. She gasped and nearly toppled the pot over when she heard you coming. “I-I’m sorry! I was really hungry!”

“It’s fine.” You didn’t care enough and moved past her to boil water for tea. “You have the posture of a feral cat though. Like you haven’t eaten in a week.” Sasha’s eyes were past you to the herbs you were selecting for tea. People around here made it the old way, without a bag. So much reminded of her childhood. “I’m Sasha Braus.” She introduced, realizing how rude she was being.

“Good morning, Sasha. Do you want tea?” You asked groggily, and noticed she was still poised with her soup-sodden hunk of bread in hand. “’Course you can go ahead and have more stew if you want. Haven’t had to cook for a crowd before so I made too much.”

“Yes please!” She eagerly began scooping some into a clay bowl and didn’t care that it was room temperature. “Damn, it can’t be THAT good. Don’t they feed you in the Scouts?”

“Sasha’s always grabbing food when she shouldn’t.” Jean’s voice, from the hall. He hobbled in and glanced around. “Realized you were missing, Sasha. Is this where you’ve been the whole time, eating this lady’s food?” He was standing with most of his weight shifted awkwardly. His ankle was very tender and had swollen in his boot. He’d been trying to get used to putting weight on it quickly.  
“Never mind me Jean, you need to sit down!”  
“And _you_ need to stop stealing food!!”

You watched these two friends interact, not awake enough to contribute. It was continuing to sink in that these people didn’t make off with your food and gear. “Was there an attack last night?” You managed to ask.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Guess you didn’t hear them. They took care of those titans no sweat.”

“That’s a relief.” You remarked. “Alright. You guys didn’t steal from me and defended this place while I slept. Far as I’m concerned that makes you decent people. Guess that means we’ll need some breakfast to start the day off right.” Your eyes moved to one of Jean’s bandages. “Can’t heal on a growling belly.”

“Unless Sasha eats everything.” 

“She won’t if she wants her face still attached by the end of this morning.” 

Sasha squeaked and scrammed with her bread, having wolfed down that stew in short order. You turned and rummaged around to see what might suffice as breakfast for a squad of hungry soldiers. “Don’t know what else I have, but we’ll figure something out.” You told Jean, not caring if he was listening. “Food is food right?”

“Hey, it’s not our field rations. Anything’s an improvement on that.” He answered with a small smile of his own. “We were thinking about how to get out of here quick. Commander Erwin said he wants to talk to you soon as you’re ready.”

“He can talk to me while I’m preparing breakfast if he wants. Go get him and put you leg up before it swells more. You had a good knock on that ankle and I’m fresh out of healing salve.” Jean flushed pink and turned to limp away. What were you, his mom?! He grimaced at the twinges of pain up his leg. Felt more like a bad sprain at least, which is preferable over an actual broken ankle. When he got into the barn, the night team was back inside and looking slightly weary. Or Mikasa and Reiner were anyhow. Levi exists on an abnormally minimal amount of sleep. “Commander Erwin sir, she’s in the kitchen. Said you can talk now if you’re ready.”

Erwin perked up. That was quick. How long had you been awake? This wasn’t a chat you ought to have when one isn’t alert. But truth to tell he wasn’t in perfect condition himself. “Alright. Thank you, Jean. You should continue to recover.” Erwin said and Petra patted his bedroll nearby her own with a lukewarm smile. “I rolled up your cape, so there’s a soft spot to elevate your ankle. Better than nothing right?”

He thanked her begrudgingly. It was hard to be a manly man when women kept insisting on saying what’s best for him. Grr.

“Levi. Mikasa. Reiner. Take this opportunity to recuperate.” Erwin told them and swept off towards the door without so much as a limp. Levi lingered back with the others as told. He had a mind to follow but really, Erwin can handle a conversation on his own. He’d been doing so long before Levi joined this outfit. He couldn’t be less surprised that Erwin was ready to go when you offered a chance to talk civilly. This is what he’d waited the night for. _This_ is why Levi, Mikasa and Reiner stayed up on that blasted spire.

“Ah. Here you are.” Erwin remarked calmly, rounding the corner. You were straining tea leaves out, producing an herbal substance. To the left of your wrists sat an lidless container with thick pieces of raw honeycomb sitting in a pool of amber. “Here I am.” You agreed. “I hear that you’ve delivered on your end and no one’s run off with anything more than some stew and a chunk of bread. I’m willing to work with you.”

“That’s a relief.” Erwin said, sitting down when beckoned. “But how much aid are you able to offer?”

“Eh well, that’s the thing. I’m one person. If it’s only ODM gear you need repaired, some of it is beyond saving for the short term. But I can keep the ones that don’t work and your friends there can have the ones that do. I can always fix more of it up, but that takes time for one person to accomplish. As for refills, I have a lot of spare swords. Gas is going to be limited.”

“Is there a way to get more?”

“Mmm…scavenging? The dead have no need of their equipment. That's the quickest way. The mine I'd otherwise go to is inaccessible right now. Too many titans.” You sipped your honeyed tea after pouring some for Erwin. You stood up to start preparing breakfast. Erwin began to rise also, but you held a hand up. “Please. Drink your tea.” You proceeded to unwrap a hunk of soft white goat cheese and sliced it. “Try some honeycomb if you want. Honey’s good for what ails you.”

He obliged by taking only the smallest piece when bade, so as not to appear rude. Even now Erwin managed to keep appearances, though a bit rougher around the edges than usual. “As we are the ones requiring all this to be done and you are kind enough, we will do everything we can to assist. A few of our rookies were suggesting that we hunt and trade for supplies.”

“It’s a good thought if you have anything of value for trade. But I’m going to have to ask you to refrain from hunting. The hunters in Vanaheim have their ‘territory’ staked out with traps and they don’t appreciate trespassers. It’s a whole thing, trust me. Heads have gone rolling for less.”

His thick eyebrows went up. “We have few other options.” He tried the honeycomb. It was the sweetest, most delicious thing he’d tasted since having left Wall Rose. Erwin took this chance to savor it. He didn’t even mind the chewy wax so much. With every bite, it oozed more honey and he managed not to make a mess of himself while consuming it.

“Can always continue trading work for reward. If you want that gear done proper, then I’ll accept help in the forge. Should your people have any knowledge of how the ODM gear is assembled, then they’ll make the process go by faster and I can hammer out the more technical parts. And if any want to ride out with me to go scavenging later, whatever’s found they can keep or trade in town providing I get a cut for myself, I need to restock. Might even find the remainder of your horses while we’re out.”

“Assistance or not, this is a lot to ask.” Erwin pointed out, turning the piece of honeycomb in his fingers. This stuff was tasty but a bit unusual to eat. He managed to appear cultured even with that. “Why would you do any of this for strangers?” A faint smile tugged your mouth at this query. You leaned down to slide a big cutting board out from beneath the counter. “There was a time when I would have laid low and waited until they were done with the whole lot of you. Most would’ve given up by then. Except you and your team were fighting at the brink of no return with what boiled down to busted swords and foul language. Felt like a crime against humanity to turn my back when I was in a position to assist.” You set the cutting board down. It was thinner than the other one, wider, probably fit to be used more as a tray. “But like I told your Captain there yesterday, sometimes we need to let other humans die. That wasn’t one of those days. I had the element of surprise.”

His back was tense, but some of that lessened upon hearing your explanation. You had nothing to gain from them. It could be said that you already stole from them until you entrusted them with usable equipment. Erwin was keen to note that your feelings on this subject weren’t remotely complex: you helped them because you _could_. He took this to mean that you’re a woman of action. When they needed help, you aided them. You probably even stayed up on watch the first night they were all unconscious from that alcohol syrup. All you asked from them was a night’s sleep and not to make a disaster of the place. He thought that you might’ve made a splendid soldier if born within instead of without.

“You can spit the wax out if you want. I do sometimes.” You told him, layering sliced cheese on the board before shifting around your kitchen space, searching for something else that’d be serviceable for breakfast. Erwin swallowed the wax while it had a bit of honey left, large blue eyes upon you as you removed a big chunk of something wrapped in twine and rough cloth. You thumped the thing down on your thicker cutting board and proceeded to remove the twine, being careful not to break it. Everything must be reused around here. He saw the word ‘BOAR’ in charcoal black lettering upon the cloth. “Do you have a family waiting for you, Erwin?”

The use of his name was a bit startling. He was so frequently called ‘Commander’ that somedays it was as though the title _replaced_ his first name. And it was nice. You’re a person with no military obligations. That could be very useful, he’d been thinking. “No.” He admitted. 

“No wife or kids? That’s surprising. You’re handsome.”

Were he a lesser man your forwardness would’ve been a shock. He took it in stride like everything. “Thank you. But no, there isn’t anyone.”

You caught his blue eyes. Heavens, he looked wholesome. Like something that’d be good for you. Who knows? Maybe you’d be good for him, too. “And that right there is another crime against humanity.” You told him dryly, slicing pieces of cured meat almost mechanically. “Sorry. Am I being too honest?”

“Honesty is in short supply where we are from. It’s refreshing.”

“Oh. Well if it’s too much, tell me. I won’t be offended. I’d rather not waste time saying things I don’t mean and meaning things I don’t say. We have so little time in our short, brutal lives as it is.”  
“Never a truer word was spoken.” Erwin raised the teacup to his mouth. “So, we will assist however we can if you remain willing. Then you will have done with us quickly.”

“Sounds like a deal to me.” You gave your assent quite freely now. Erwin could tell that you were arising from your grogginess as you worked, carving slices off that hunk of boar. He couldn’t blame you for being guarded about everything. Erwin doubted that a trusting nature kept one alive very long this far out from the three walls. Sina, he almost couldn’t fathom _not_ being in the military. At this point he’d been a part of the armed services longer than he’d lived with his father before the good man was taken from him.

Upon finishing you wrapped the twine into a small roll and set the cloth aside, and then pulled open a drawer to extract another fragrant wooden box. Though not looking directly at him, you could still feel the intensity of his gaze. You did not quiver away from it. This man is used to being in a position of authority, conducted himself admirably always from what you’ve seen, and probably didn’t know how to be any other way. When he had something to angle for, he never let it leave his sight for long. 

There was something so _magnetic_ here. 

Erwin realized quite fast that it had to do with your bluntness. No lady dared say ‘you’re handsome’ to his face since he became Commander. And being in this position, he couldn’t exactly drop work and go searching for a woman to spend his life with after retirement. If it happened, it happened. And at this point he doubted it would. Erwin always imagined that when he died, it’d be well before he turned gray.

Yet here, so far away from what he knew, the Commander felt himself being unexpectedly confronted with this reality. 

He watched your hands go through simple motions. Setting a cleaver aside, opening that wooden box to reveal dried fruit. Placing those alongside smoked boar and goat cheese in tidy rows, stacked like fallen dominoes. The board was very full now with the addition of that fruit, but by far the sliced boar was the largest amount. “Hm, this’ll have to do. Definitely a trip to town happening today, I used too many things in that damn stew.” You almost shrugged and dunked a wooden honey dipper in liquid gold, holding a hand beneath it while transferring the coated object towards your filled wooden tray in order to drizzle some honey upon layered fruit. A little something extra. “Whatever. Everything needs to be eaten eventually. But about that trip to town, I doubt you were planning on it; but you shouldn’t come along, Erwin. You’re probably too recognizable and I’m in no mood to kill my neighbors simply because they disagree with what company I’ve chosen to keep.”

Erwin’s full lips twitched into a brief, terse smile. Your remark painted a dark picture that he understood far too well. This is a town where Survey Corps traitors found their way to live, there was a superb chance they’d know Erwin if he went along for the ride. If Vanaheim is as cruel a place to live in as he began to suspect, it wasn’t far-fetched to imagine they’d come after you and leave no choice. He was digesting the information of, 'we found human life outside the wall.' This was a strange sort of success with how the mission went awry. You smiled at him over the rim of your teacup for a second, admiring his thoughtful countenance. "Oh, that midget Levi shouldn't tag along either. He’s apparently quite infamous.”

“Oh yes. Levi Ackermann is impossible to forget.” Erwin nodded, skipping right over the part where you called him a ‘midget’. “Fair enough. I insist that a few of us accompany you however.”

“That’s fine. They'll need to leave their jackets here. You have to understand that I normally wouldn’t give a damn, but this is more for the safety of everyone involved.” You hesitated before asking, “Those kids haven’t really had cause to fight or kill another person, have they?” Picking up a cloth to wipe your hands, you made eye contact when his response didn’t come immediately. He was studying your face. “Hand to hand combat, yes.” 

“So…sparring. That’s it?”

“For most of them.”

You studied his expression in turn. “Alrighty then. If anyone must die, I won’t make those kids be the ones to bloody themselves. They’re probably going through enough being teenagers as it is.” You almost snorted at the last. “Anyway Erwin, I think I’m beginning to get a sense of who you are. At least enough to say that you and your comrades there aren’t doomed to the barn this whole time you’re here. You’ve been far more respectful than I was ever led to believe you guys would be.” You picked up the board of food and propped an edge upon your shoulder, reminding him for a split second of a tavern wench. “By the way, why did everyone go so wild for meat the other night?”

He chuckled. “Oh, that? There isn’t very much to go around back home.”

You cocked an eyebrow. “Suppose that makes sense. Quite opposite, meat is what we have the most of. Hm," You hesitated. Oh, screw it. "If you want to eat in here, I don't mind. They’re probably about to maul each other over this.” Erwin’s smile was now a bit more genuine. “No thank you. I’m not very hungry. Let them have at it.”

“Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't offer.” You moved on with your wooden board chuck full of meat, cheese and honeyed fruit and would be greeted with wide eyes upon entering. They didn’t get dairy products very frequently either, so to every one of these people in this room, it was like a delicacy. Dried fruit was familiar enough, and honey was easy to get. There were beekeepers in every town. “What do you have?” Eren asked you, watching Sasha warily. She was practically drooling already.

“Smoked boar, goat cheese and dried fruit with a drizzle of honey. Share nicely, children. There’s enough for everyone.” You put the wooden tray down on a low makeshift table, which had been set up by pushing together four large wooden crates close to an empty horse stall. “If anyone needs water, come on in and fill up. No need to be shy."

Oluo and Petra took their cut followed by Eld; who’d been unconscious for far longer than the others with a knee injury and a bad smack on the head. Levi didn’t seem too interested at first, but in his exhaustion Eld managed to convince him to have a bite. The others—Sasha, Eren, Berthold, Reiner, Mikasa and Jean crowded around the crate table and began chowing down. Eld sighed at their exuberance and gave a tired grin. “They’re going to be so sad when we get back and there’s no meat or cheese.” 

“Let them enjoy it. I know I am.” Petra said, and smeared the thin line of honey across her first hunk of fruit so it frosted one whole side, ate it, and licked her fingers. Oluo watched out the corner of an eye. “Do you think it’s strange that this woman eats so well out here? Did you _see_ how much meat was in that stew last night?”

Oluo gave an imperious scoff. “She would surely be titan food if it wasn’t for living with a town full of ex-scouts.”

“Oluo!”  
“Come on, tell me I’m wrong.”

Levi silently watched his team mates continue to chatter and thought of what you said yesterday; that you were thankful your parents were as well trained as they’d been because of the Survey Corps. He wasn’t sure how many in Vanaheim were ex-military, but he had a feeling it was far fewer than Oluo appeared to believe. He decided to have some breakfast after all, but as his steely eyes tracked your progress by them to the door, he wondered if Erwin made any progress on some type of deal benefiting them. The others are out there. Every hour spent sitting here was another hour in which they could’ve died needlessly. Levi could only keep confident in them, and hope they found one another. Perhaps this whole situation would be cut short if they found their way here. That, or they’d eat you out of house and home like a pack of titans. When you were out of sight, he turned his attention to the others and picked up a piece of bread he saved from last night. Having not known if there would be more food later, he habitually saved it. Now he was able to layer a thinner slice of boar and some goat cheese upon it and take a bite. 

Eld was shaking his head at Oluo’s arrogance and Petra was sighing as well. “They have fewer mouths to feed here. And this Hazard woman is one person. I suspect we’ve helped her power through what she had stored in the short time we’ve been here.” Eld’s sage words elicited another sarcastic barb from Oluo, which got the man a shot across his shoulder from Petra. But it wa in good fun. Petra turned to Levi, who was halfway through his makeshift sandwich, and nodded past him. “I’m surprised you haven’t gone mad from the state of this place. It’s not the cleanest.”

“It’s also not the worst stable any of us have seen.” Eld stated with uncharacteristic dryness. He wished Petra wouldn’t try to stoke Levi into one of his classic cleaning frenzies. “The floor out here is neat enough. I don’t mind staying in here as long as we have to, it’s warm enough with the fires lit and surprisingly doesn’t smell so bad either.”

“Have you noticed why?” Petra pointed up. There were herbs tied up along the wall beams in the loft, and small pouches strung up in the corners of every stall. “No space to be wasted around here I guess. I wonder what that fabric is hanging from the beam up in the loft?”

“For my balancing act.” Your voice. From straight behind her. Petra’s head whipped around so fast you thought it’d spin. “O-oh! You came back!!”

“Yeah.” There was a pair of gangly preteens behind you, peeping from around your sides almost nervously. “Wanted to warn you people that these two are here to clean the stalls. They’ve been helping in exchange for lessons. I’m sure no one wants the smell of horse crap piling up. Don’t worry, they won’t say anything.” You put a hand on each of their heads at once, ruffling their hair. They practically growled and tried batting your hands away in tandem. “Now shoo, those stalls aren’t gonna muck themselves out.” You gave each kid a light push and both scrammed past the soldiers, who watched them go with raised eyebrows. “What lessons?” Eld asked, watching both boys grab buckets until you looked at Eld, at which point both kids thought they could sneakily climb up to the loft. 

“They walked up to me about three weeks ago and declared, ‘Haz, we want to kill titans because it looks like fun.’” At the expression on Eld and Petra’s faces you shrugged. “I don’t know how long this dream of theirs will last, but I’m getting some free labor out of it. Doesn’t hurt that it’s hilarious when they’re attempting to balance.” You walked past, glancing up towards where both boys were now awkwardly clambering into long loops of patched green cloth suspended from above the loft. Fortunately, plenty of hay was there to cushion their fall, because they tumbled down as fast as they hopped up. “If you want to do that now in front of an audience, go for it!” You shouted up at them, causing both to immediately flop onto their asses in scratchy hay. “OOF!”

“Oww….” 

You gave a belly laugh at their lapse of judgement. Jean was trying not to laugh too with his mouth full. Mortified, they withdrew from sight and hoped no one could see them. You crossed your arms. “Incidentally, I’ll accept any volunteers who want to go into town with me for an hour or two. I won’t have nearly enough meat for tonight, never mind the rest of this week. Whoever comes has to leave their jacket behind.”

“We need to talk to Commander Erwin first.” Mikasa said reasonably. She hoped Eren wouldn’t want to go but knowing him, he would. The remainder of his wounds were gone. Your eyes strayed towards Mikasa upon hearing her voice for the second time since meeting her. She seemed so withdrawn. You weren’t sure how good a companion she’d be on a trip into town, but then this isn’t about making friends. “Already talked with him about that. But do what you gotta do. I’m going to take inventory and get ready.”

And with that said, you’d help the two kids feed the horses before leaving to do exactly that. This promised to be a long day.


	3. Vanaheim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts out as a pleasant day warps into a potentially bad situation. After a flare bursts high upon the horizon, you're faced with your nerves when the Scouts want to ride out to meet their fellows. 
> 
> Moments like these put your integrity as a human being to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEVI YOU SALAD SHRIMP!!!  
Wahahahaa…. don't worry. We aren't staying outside le walls for ever and ever.

Vanaheim

A mental list was compiled, the horses were hitched up, and for good measure you slapped on a set of ODMG after telling your two adorable little trainees to go home early for the day and started to get things ready when they left. Jean quickly insisted on going for this trip since he couldn’t stand to be stuck in the barn any longer, and Mikasa suggested that he drive the carriage so he could sit and keep off his ankle. You agreed, currently latching the buckles on one of Fury’s many saddle bags. “Fine by me.” You glanced over to see him obligingly remove his jacket, as would Bertold, and Reiner. The others were staying behind. 

Since this trip promised to be a lot of heavy lifting, having two strapping young men along for the ride promised to be beneficial. You had no objections if they listened. Erwin placed these three men under orders to listen to you, and to try and act as little like they were in the military as possible. You approved of this decision.

“Heeey hey there big guy, it’s okay. I know. Lots of new people, huh?” You cooed and fed Fury a piece of dried apple. He was getting antsy. Since the other horses were now let to roam in the big corral, Levi took it as an opportunity to feed his cleaning habit. If he was to stay here a moment longer, this damnable pigpen must be CLEAN. He shoved a pail and scrub brush into Eren’s hands. “This place needs to be scrubbed top to bottom.”

Eren sighed accepted them, wishing that he could trade places with the Commander, who went outside with a large bucket of water to begin filling a trough for their horses with some help from Oluo and Petra. All of them shed their coats for now. The day’s cloudless and the sun was high and hot, and if they were carrying on with some manual labor for the day, less layers were ideal. Even the Commander was pitching in, that’s saying something. Their horses had to be 100% for when it was time to leave. “Why can’t I go with the others instead, Captain?”

“Because I told you to clean. Get to it.”

“And because you were on the can when Bertold and Reiner volunteered.” Oluo taunted. He watched Erwin pass by to go get more water from a well out back. “Jean can’t stand long enough to clean, so he’s driving. And Eld is in the house keeping his knee up.”

“Ugh…” Yeager groaned, and wondered if you knew what mayhem was about to ensue under your roof whilst you were gone. The cart was drawn up by the forge, where Jean could heckle Reiner and Bertold as they helped you load up some goods for trade. You thought it was annoying at first, but Reiner’s reactions made it worthwhile and Berthold sighed. “Why do you guys have to argue?”

“I’m not arguing, I’m _mocking._” Jean sneered, his lips pulled back into a sharky grin. Reiner resisted the urge to chuck a horseshoe at his head. You transferred a few small crates of rough-hewn nails, another one of hinges, some other odds and ends also. Berthold swiped a wrist across his forehead. They were already working up a sweat while Jean could chill with his foot up until it was time to drive. “Hey! No slacking off! Put your back into it!”

“Shut the hell up Jean!” Reiner snapped. You shoved a crate of leather straps into Reiner’s arms. “Here’s an idea, why don’t _both_ of you shut up?” You admonished and turned to take inventory. The last thing you picked up was a bundle of sheathed swords and knives, all kept together in a narrow barrel. “Are you sure this is okay?” Berthold asked almost nervously. “It’s an awful lot. Will you have much left?”

“Mmm…well yes, this is going to clean me out of stock for a while. But that’s fine. It clears out room and we need the supplies for you guys to get on home.” You let Reiner and Berthold hop up into the back of the cart before slamming the tailgate up and sliding a bolt through on either side. “Your Commander has agreed that a scavenging trip would be beneficial, so you guys can pay me back in raw materials for what’s being used now. Don’t worry so much.” You mounted up on Fury’s saddle. “Jean, right? Still up to this?”

Jean shifted to sit up straight and grasped the reins. “Yep!” He snapped them and the vanners lurched forward. You smirked and called over as Fury broke through a trot, his stride monstrous enough to take the lead with minor effort. “Good! Because even if you weren’t, too damn bad!”

The road ahead was hard packed dirt scattered with pebbles. Any cobblestones were long ago pulverized by massive footfalls. But it was smooth sailing, the cart was in fair shape and though these gypsy vanners were working horses compared to the athletic bays he was used to, Jean found them quite responsive to the reins. You towered ahead of them on Fury’s back, with your head easily eight feet up into the air while sitting. Jean didn’t envy your choice of steed, but that beast of a horse had a broader back which was likely better for transferring to ODMG on the run. He noticed you had a couple extra gas tanks and some more blades sheathed by the saddle in the event they’d be needed. When you pulled a bit further ahead, Jean glanced behind at Berthold and Reiner, who were sitting low in the cart beside crates and barrels secured by rope. “You guys okay back there?”

“We’re fine! Focus on the road!” Reiner called back.  
“It’s kind of bumpy though!” Berthold shouted, contrary to Reiner’s opinion. 

The ride would progress without much conversation. It’d be about ten more minutes before Reiner piped up again. “Can you see the town yet?”

“Yeah, look!”

Reiner shifted his weight and stood, a hand on the edge of the cart. Sure enough, the town was in view not much further down the road. They were probably going too fast for having a cart loaded with metal goods. Jean was snapping the reins to keep his horses at pace so you wouldn’t vanish out of sight. A split second later you hopped up easily on Fury’s back and shifted weight, fired your ODMG anchors and disappeared completely between the trees. Fury slowed down and wandered off to the side. Jean pulled the gypsies to a hard stop once he realized they were about to hit the town square, and nearly mowed down a thankfully unoccupied stand in the process. “Whoa…WHOA!!!! HOLY SHIT!!”

“Would you cool it down there?!” Your voice cried from above. You were atop a weathered old clock tower with a rough wooden scaffold built out around its belfry. A middle-aged man and woman were sitting with their legs hanging over, both sporting ODMG themselves. Berthold could swear he saw the woman before with her face partially obscured by a large birthmark. She was assigned to a patrol frequently roaming the top of Wall Maria around when the titan shifters were developing their plan for demolishing the gate. But that was years ago in Shiganshina. The pair up top were now laughing at Jean’s ineptitude, but you weren’t finding it as funny. “Damn kid…” You growled and crossed your arms. 

“Who is he anyway?” The man asked. “Never seen those guys around.”  
“Some poor sons of bitches who I found out scavenging.” This much was true, but the remainder would come out as a lie. “Nearly got pounded flat by a 10 meter. Said something about trying to survive inside Wall Maria after ‘the incident’,” You air-quoted and shrugged then crossed your arms again. “I wonder how many more tried to make it in there. Can’t be easy.”

The woman smiled ruefully. “Shame their luck ran out if they really lasted so long.” Her friend was more amused. “Taking in strays again, Haz? Thought those days were behind you.”  
“Oh sure. You’re one to talk, freeloader.”  
“H-hey! I pulled my weight!”  
“Why d’ya think they’re here with me right now?” You almost grimaced when Reiner and Jean started bickering, which was now drawing more unwanted attention. “Anyway, I have refills for both of you. And more leather. We’re going to be in town for an hour or so. Unless I need to make A FEW IDIOTS DIG THEIR OWN GRAVES!!!” You bellowed the last, making all three stop and stare up at your form. “In which case, I’d be leaving sooner.” You fired your anchors and glided down to the ground. The birthmarked woman cupped a hand to her mouth and shouted, waving at your retreating back. “I MIGHT HAVE A SHOVEL TO TRADE!!”

“I MADE THAT DAMN SHOVEL!” You hollered over your shoulder while landing and went over to the boys. _“What_ did I tell you? Don’t make a scene!” 

“He started it!”  
“Well I’m finishing it, let’s go already!” You took Fury’s reins and walked. Jean followed you with the cart across the square, to a spot not yet taken by others here for trade. “Alright.” You tied Fury’s reins to a hitching post and hopped up into the cart, removing three swords and handing one to each soldier. “I am going to make some rounds. You three stay here and keep watch. Try not to stab anyone who doesn’t stick you first, okay?”

“Wait, you…are you serious?!” Berthold blurted out. You pushed a sheathed sword into his hands. “Don’t worry so much. Being here with weapons is going to be enough to scare the street urchins away.” He opened and closed his mouth, very much at a loss. You lowered your voice and leaned into him. “Come on soldier boy, it’s not like I’m asking a lot. Relax. I won’t be long. Make sure your idiot friends don’t lay into one another.”

“Is this how you always do things?” Jean tried to interrupt. He could see how uncomfortable Berthold became when you got so close and figured it’d be better to intervene, however minimally. You turned from Berthold and shook your head, thus missing how he expelled a breath of relief once you were out of his personal space. “No, _normally_ I can’t trust these jackasses by a long shot, so I bring less and ride around on Fury with what I have to trade. Since you guys are here though, we can trade in volume. Now watch the goods. Got it?”

“Yes s- “Jean caught the glint in Reiner’s eye. “Yessss, that’ssssss uuuh…clear!” 

“Good man.” You walked away. As you did so, Jean’s eyes grazed across your body, pausing at the ODMG hitched about your waist and thighs. Reiner and Bertold were checking it out too. “That’s strange gear.” Berthold remarked softly, wondering inside what they were involved in here. There were few with ODMG, but being a shifter he couldn’t be too careful. Silence was always the best policy for Berthold. This way he also didn’t get as emotionally invested in what would someday be his enemies. But with Reiner’s duality, he couldn’t leave the blond alone long whatsoever. He had to be there to steer Braun away from a cliff if it came to that.

“That’s a smaller ODMG set than what I saw last night.” Reiner said. “You guys should’ve seen it. The scabbards alone were huge.” It was also nothing alike what they were used to. The central component was larger, sure, and the scabbards were shorter. The gas canisters were somewhat enlarged, resembling the high-volume tanks that their superiors had access to. Top notch gear was often deemed a waste on those who couldn’t use it to its greatest potential; and might die, get it destroyed or lost. The veterans had gear which looked almost identical to the standard issue, with adjustments such as a heightened capacity set of tanks or greater anchor strength and winding speed. Unfair, but that’s how it was. The Scout Regiment had a hard time keeping supplied with so much of the gear gone missing afield. And now they were seeing pairs of that lost gear wandering around town. Jean and Reiner stopped disagreeing after Berthold pointed out to them that the more they bickered, the more likely it was that one of them might slip up and reveal where they really came from. None of them were privy to what excuses you may’ve made, which was a mistake on your part, but thankfully not one that would cost you just now. 

You traveled from trader to trader, told them what you had on offer and would either trade on the spot or make later arrangements. Redwood, a huntress with a head of flaming red hair and a crimson-stained bow, had a fresh killed three-point buck for trade and a lot of jerky. She wanted arrowheads, leather straps and a new hunting knife. You told her you’d take the jerky for now and would think about trading for the buck later if no one else took it. That thing would be too much to stuff into the wagon for now. You had the large hunting knife and leather straps but said the arrowheads would need to come later. She agreed. Reiner stayed by the cart while Berthold helped you carry over Redwood’s earnings and returned with the woman’s full stock of salted venison jerky.

Next came a second female trader while you guys were putting the sack of jerky into the cart, whom you introduced as Tea Rose. She carried with her a patched bag of assorted teas and cooking herb sachets, held across her thin torso by a fraying strap. The woman was indeed brittle and moved slowly, unable to make much of a living off what she had to trade. She asked for nails so her husband could make repairs to their hovel. You traded her for them, knowing full well it was a lopsided deal. You didn’t take every ounce of tea she had to offer. There was plenty back home, and you couldn’t help but pity her misfortune. Tea Rose’s husband fell ill two months ago, and many of their bees got away when he couldn’t finish repairing the apiary and the whole thing fell apart. Now all he could do was make repairs for a living, while she scrounged herbs for tea and cooking and sold a small amount of honey when possible. It was estimated that they wouldn’t survive this winter.

Jean, Berthold and Reiner’s random though spirited conversation dampened when they began to see a pattern out here. There were people who had enough to support others, but simply refused to do so out of greed or self-preservation. How was this any different from those in the walls, like the aristocrats living plush lives? When Reiner asked you about this, you took it in stride and didn’t seem bothered. If anything, he could tell you pitied some more than others. Then it came to the hunters, most of which ate very well. Redwood was an exception insofar as you not trying to fleece her, but the others were enormously egotistical. They had the run of this place since some of them provided much more food than others. After coming away benefiting from a deal more than one such hunter, you laughed almost scornfully as Reiner and Berthold helped you load up two big turkeys in wicker cages and a jug of a familiar thing called ‘maple syrup’. “Fucking idiot is so confident.” You snickered.

“Why do you do that? “Berthold asked nervously. “Won’t he go after you someday?”

“Oh please, he’s welcome to try. Besides, they have loads of food to spare. If he’s stupid enough not to see that he is getting the bad end of the bargain, that’s not my problem. I have too many mouths to feed right now to care about his _poor widdle fewwings.”_

“Jeez. You’re ruthless.” Jean commented gleefully. He thought it was funny. And can we talk about how there’s going to be TURKEY for dinner tonight?! That last cross-eyed hick named Fleas (apparently this was a long story) spent the entire conversation talking about how he could fix you up with his oldest son. Or daughter. Or both. “Only thing I’m interested in is these supplies. Are you trading or what?”

“Oh sure. I’ll trade with you. What’s on offer?”  
“The usual.”

On second thought, he might’ve known he was getting a bad deal and was clinging to the idea that he could match you with his son if he played your game. You let him keep on believing. “Alright boys. Almost done.” You took Fury’s reins again and mounted up. “Follow. One more stop then we’re on our way back.” 

“This didn’t take as long as I thought it would.” Reiner remarked, head turning this way and that to absorb the scenery. He was making mental notes about Vanaheim to report on later. “You’re efficient.”

“Thanks?” You shifted in your saddle and rolled a shoulder back and forth in a nearly futile effort to release a knotted muscle. Your shoulders always felt like they were cinched too tight. Between pounding metal and wearing a harness, your shoulders alone were always tense. You draped the reins over the saddle horn and placed left hand over right shoulder to try and dig out what remained of that blasted muscle tension. “Everybody’s ability to survive hinges on being able to trade. I’m decent with a hammer and I help kill the titans, so that’s my job while everyone else hunts, gathers and produces. Honestly I’m as much at their mercy as they are at mine.” You rode alongside the cart now, picked up the reins and pointed out the direction so Jean could turn that way. This was sobering food for thought. “There’s a lot here. Live turkeys, tea, herbs, jerky, skins, smoked meat, maple syrup. How do you people even _have_ maple syrup?”

“We’re near a shit ton of maple trees, do the math genius. Stick a spout and a bucket on one I guess, and when the weather’s right sap leaks out. I’m fuzzy on the process myself. They boil it or something.” You said a bit too gruffly. “AHH! I never got around to making Old Lady that bucket....” You hit the heel of a palm against your temple. Your ODMG clanked with the movement, straps creaking. The harness had seen better days, some of the leather was cracking with age. What oil was available around here had to be used for more important things, like making sure the ODMG wires were lubricated properly so you can not die of stupid causes. Food may be plentiful for fewer mouths, but other essentials were hard to come by. Salt for instance couldn’t be had unless a handful of townsfolk made their long trek to the shore, and boiled water for sea salt to haul back and trade throughout the year. 

On the way through Jean’s gaze mostly lingered upon his work of steering the vanners, but he took notice that here and there were platforms made by bolting boards around stripped tree crowns, with figures perched atop. There couldn’t have been many, and he had no way of telling if the two with ODM gear from earlier were among them. One stood very militant and straight backed, peering through what was probably a scout-issued spyglass. He turned to look down as your cart passed through, carrying supplies and three unfamiliar young men. You shielded your eyes and watched his posture to see if he was going to make a big deal out of this. Out of the handful of people around here trained to kill, that man was probably the biggest pain. He was called Ash, for having been found clinging to an ash tree for dear life; out of blades and definitely out of options. Another stray from a branch of the military he never chose to identify. You assumed he was once a Scout, he had the trappings of one but didn’t wear any emblems upon being found.

And he was one thousand percent a total asshole who thought he ran the place.

Ash chose to ignore what was going on below and turned to continue peering through his short telescope, scanning the horizon for trouble. He took his job very seriously and would bully townsfolk into feeding him for his efforts. Since it appeared as though you now had loads of food, he made a mental note to call upon your residence later. A turkey would suffice as tribute.

You let a breath escape once far enough past his post, which Jean a few feet to your right noticed. “What was that about? You looked ready to jump.”

“I was.” You admitted. “That’s a guy we call Ash. He’s a bully who forces townsfolk to feed him and perform sexual favors for his services as a titan killer. He’s threatened to lead those bastards here if anyone fails to meet his demands. Better off buried in my humble opinion, but we can’t afford to be selective around here. There aren’t many actually experienced titan slayers, and only someone else with a blade can dare pick a fight with him.”

The sexual favors part disgusted each of them particularly. They’re part of the military and vowed to give their hearts so they could protect the people, not take advantage of them. Or in theory that’s so. Berthold and Reiner were living a double life. Jean was more real about his vow than they. “Sounds like he’d fit right in with the MP’s.” Jean grumbled under his breath. You gave him the side eye for talking about the military _whatsoever_ but did not disagree. What you knew of the three regiments was limited to what you grew up hearing. Here was not a place to talk about that.

So went the remainder of this trip. Spearmint, the oldest daughter, was happy to conduct trade with you for today with the help of her mother. There was a carved wood tub of salve, more soap and bales of hay, dried fruit and vegetables. It’d be back home after that, with Jean realizing he desperately needed to put his leg up as it was aching horribly. Berthold took over driving so their friend could elevate his ankle in the back, albeit awkwardly. “We traded almost everything we brought.” Jean remarked, finally having a chance to check out the result of their past few hours. “Yeah. Quite a successful day.” You agreed. “Spearmint had a good idea there. Going to try putting some maple syrup over the turkey while it cooks for better flavor. I’m not the best cook, so here’s to hoping I don’t burn it.”

“Who cares, it’s meat.” Reiner said, with Jean nodding. They were already content at the thought of being able to have turkey. It could’ve been boiled plain, and they would be happy with that over their field rations. “I was hoping for some more goat cheese.” You mused. “Small things. Whatever. I’m happy for what we got today.”

“That’s one way to think.” Berthold agreed, almost sighing in relief when the forge and house rose into sight. The scout horses were still roaming the big fenced area, mowing down grass and shaking flies off their necks. A figure came sailing down from above upon having drawn close enough. Turned out to be Petra, who was now wearing the borrowed gear. Oluo stood watch atop the barn behind her, and there was somebody else further away flying between spires. “That didn’t take long!” Petra called, and dropped into the cart. The turkeys were startled into a gobbling cacophony and battered their wings against wicker bars. Little were you aware that your guests were cleaning this whole time, with three on watch taking turns. The third turned out to be Commander Erwin himself, who wanted to scope out the lay of the land in preparation for leaving. Now what they needed was to have their gear repaired, and the group could get underway. When Erwin appeared from above there was an element of tension about his posture, anchors snapping back into their tubes. “There’s been a signal about twenty minutes ago.” He said tersely. You frowned at him.

“A signal, how? Some idiot building a fire out there for all to see?”

“No. We use flares.” He said. “We must ride out to meet them before they’re gone.” 

“Or send out a flare ourselves.” Petra said. “Do you have our guns?”

Their eyes were fixed upon yours. Your stomach dropped. There was no way in hell…you couldn’t afford more guests! This was hard _enough_ with a small bunch. You motioned to the Commander and dismounted, heading straight to the forge. Erwin fell in step close behind. “Understand,” You told him quietly once inside, almost darkly. “I can’t support a larger crowd here. There won’t be enough food and there’s definitely not enough room.”

Erwin understood. He nodded once. “Agreed. That would be asking too much.” His eyes strayed towards your second set of ODMG. You took notice but pretended not to. “They could have found our supplies. In which case you can be rid of us sooner.”

“For fuck’s sake, I'm sure you’re anxious to see that your soldiers are accounted for. But surely you know this won't make things easier." You pointed out sternly. “I’m definitely not as educated as you, but please don’t start treating me like a moron. Whoever might be out there, there’s nowhere else for them to go.” They would have to come back here, whoever is left. His sincere expression was unwavering despite that accusation, you had to give Erwin credit for his stability. The way the shadows brought his face into sharp relief, that intensity in his cool blue eyes, those broad shoulders…ugh. _'Fuck.'_ You took a few steps away, knelt down and picked up one of the saddle bags stowed beneath a work bench. You opened it and peered within to double check. This bag was made so a scout on horseback could load a flare with minimal effort. “Fortunately for you Erwin, I’m a sucker for a pretty face. Here.” You stood up and pushed the saddlebag into his chest. His hands flew up to capture it. “Please don’t make me regret helping, handsome.”

“I won’t.” Erwin replied in a tone both soft and firm. After he strode out, you pinched the bridge of your nose and turned away. At this angle your stare fall upon many sets of damaged ODM gear. Some were dented on the scabbards, a few were crushed entirely with broken swords prodding out like jagged silver teeth. You paced towards the work bench to unburden your sides of gear, but your gut was tying up into sickening knots. You could imagine what your family would have to say about this situation. 

_‘You going to help someone and cut em’ loose to die, girl? Where’s your manners?’_

_‘Don’t waste your effort if you’re not going to do a thing right.’_

_‘Kill them next time. Save some trouble.’_

You exchanged looks with your distorted reflection in the bent side of a scabbard upon hearing the sound of a gun being fired, followed by a whoosh and a ‘POP!' 

_‘Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.’_

You bolted out, nearly bashing your metal-clad sides into the doorframe. “Wait!” 

Erwin turned and looked over his shoulder at your abrupt reappearance. A green trail of smoke wavered high above him, thin gray wisps smoking from the muzzle of his flare gun. “How far away was this approximately?”

“Quite far. Back the way we came, I’m guessing.” You bit your lip in thought for a second and shook your head, grabbing the Commander’s elbow—much to the other’s surprise. “There’s no way. There’s too many titans out there, and they're harder to hear in the muck.” You let go and breezed by the Commander to take Fury’s reins. There's no way they'd sit and wait for their comrades to try and make it here. You took this chance with your back to the others to think: did you want to help them go through with this? Wasn’t it bound to be suicide?

“It’s just fog. It’ll burn off soon.” Oluo pointed out. His normal mocking tone wasn't one hundred percent there. Veterans like himself, Petra and Erwin knew their shit, the Scouts can't always pick their fighting conditions but they attempt to avoid situations doomed to fail. This had the potential to be one such. He was watching you with his hands tucked around the ODMG triggers, graying brow beginning to furrow. Petra was wearing a similar expression, as was Erwin. 'Are you going to help us or make us feel worse about it', essentially.

“No, not out there. Yeah the sun is out, but visibility’s minimal in the lowlands where the fog stays thick. You’re going to get lost in the soup like before.” You mounted up and barely turned your head towards them, trying to keep composed. Inside you were shaken. This was as sudden as before. People you protected on a whim were ready to dive back out into danger. 

“I don’t think you get it, dear.” Oluo’s tone instantly became patronizing upon deciding you were not going to help, and he started forward. “We’re the Survey Corps. We’ve been through way worse than---PFFFAAA!!!” Tongue bite.

“That kind of overconfidence gets anybody killed. I’ve been scavenging that marsh for years, I know my way through.” You looked at Petra, who was beside Oluo attempting not to laugh at his clumsiness. They were making a point of taking this lightly, perhaps so as not to appear defeatist; but they're part of the Levi Squad and hadn't known much in the way of sound defeat _yet_. Perhaps that does count for overconfidence.  
You turned Fury towards Erwin and walked the shire a few steps, pulling towards the side so you could be level with the Commander, now able to dwarf his height by cheating. “Listen, not trying to make this worse...I’m not like you guys. I’m not a soldier or war hero. But I didn’t put myself in harm’s way so you guys can get yourselves in the same situation over again. Whoever goes better be up to this, and I’ll be very pissed off if there’s MORE equipment to fix when it’s all said and done. _If_ we survive.”

The Commander’s expression changed ever-so-slightly. _’So _that’s_ why you’re acting out.’_ Right as Oluo prepared another of his misogynistic speeches, Erwin cut across him. “She is not wrong.” Oluo turned his astonished gaze on the commander, as did Petra. “We’re losing time here.” He watched you calmly the whole while. Sized you up. Wondered what changed in the space of a gunshot. “I am going. We leave as soon as the horses are saddled.”

“Sir yes sir!”

“I’ll tell Captain Levi and we’ll unload quick. There might be survivors who can't move.” Berthold said immediately and snapped the reins to drive the cart around. Jean gave a surprised noise when the cart lurched forth beneath him as he began to prop up and see what was happening. Reiner almost toppled over a caged turkey.

“Carts can't make it through there!” You shouted after them, and urged Fury into a run. When you made it to the back of the barn Levi was standing in the open back doors, listening to Berthold’s explanation with Eren and Mikasa beside him. Mikasa saw you first and approached quickly as you dismounted and proceeded to lead your horse back to his stall. “Please, you must let us use that other set of gear. There’s no telling what we’ll be heading into.” She was straightforward and serious. You wondered if she knew how to laugh, or if she was always frowning like she had been since arriving here. You couldn’t blame her. This is a serious situation.

“None of you have experience with my kind of gear.” You said dismissively, not caring if your tone hurt her feelings (if it did). “Whoever uses it might get themselves killed because of that reason alone. Same goes for this set here.”

“This is what we do!” Eren protested, now at Mikasa’s side. He looked to Levi for help in his argument. “Captain!” Levi finished issuing orders to Berthold, Reiner and Jean; and turned back to address the three of you. “We need everybody’s cooperation. Neither of you are coming. Stay put and do your jobs, start with getting those horses saddled. We might have more injured returning with us.”

“But sir, I—”  
“That’s a fucking ORDER, brat. Eld is staying behind. He’s in charge while we’re gone.”

Levi walked past them and straight up to you. He had this way, you realized, of making any height difference between himself and another person essentially vanish. “We need every piece of gear you have if none of this is to be in vain. Tell me you understand.”

You set your jaw. “I _understand_ that this whole plan is half-cocked and has the potential to get more killed. There has to be a better way. But as there's nothing coming to mind...” Second thoughts. Lots of second thoughts. This is a bad time to venture down there. Before you couldn’t help everyone out of the muck, there were too many titans led so far out by these crazy scouts. Now the lowlands were infested with them. It was a miracle that you succeeded in bringing back who you could. Levi could tell that you were nervous, but weren’t admitting to that. The greatest difference here? They chose to fight titans as a career. Near as he could figure, you only kill titans when they’re in your way.

Therefore he chose his words wisely.

“Sometimes you have to let your fellow man die. Today is not that day.” He used your own words against you. You wanted to curse him. “That last set of gear. I need it. _Now.”_

“……” You were in a staring contest with this man. How was it that he didn’t feel much shorter right now?

“There’s no time for this! Either help or get out of our way!” Eren blurted out. Levi couldn’t agree more. His bluegray eyes didn’t leave your own orbs for a second, not whatsoever. He was fearless. He didn’t care what you might say to him. In that instant, you had this feeling that he wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer and would rip the gear off your back if he had to. That same part of your brain said, ‘don’t get stupid’. He certainly has more training than you do. You had no doubt that out of the whole rabble, this shorter Captain was the one who’d hand you your own ass in a heartbeat. Didn’t take long to figure that out in the hierarchy of this small bunch of scouts. Levi was second only to Commander Erwin. You wondered how formidable they were in action, to have earned their ranks. Considering that, you relented.

“Fine. But don’t bitch if it doesn’t operate like you’re used to.”  
“Do I look like a fucking complainer?”  
You clucked your tongue and turned on your heel to lead the way across towards your forge once more. “No, you look like a pissed off shrimp.”

Eren’s eyes bugged wide open. Did you just turn your back on the Captain _and_ insult him?! Mikasa put a hand over her mouth. She couldn’t see Levi’s face when he followed you out. He also seemed to allow a few paces to add up in between your bodies, so he might not be tempted to do something regrettable at a moment where there’s no time for that.

“D..did she…just…” Eren gasped.  
Berthold stood next to him with Reiner. “Y-yeah. She did.”  
“She’s _so_ dead.” Jean breathed. Mikasa smiled secretively beneath her scarf.

In the forge you reintroduced Levi to the supercharged gear from before. “No, no.” You protested as he began to attach a scabbard. “Here. You need extra harness rigging. That’s an injury waiting to happen.” He looked at you with the most frigid expression you’ve seen yet. He was attempting not to envenom you with his gaze after that shrimp crack a minute ago. “This is what I have to work with.” He told you emotionlessly.

“Good thing we can do better than that.” You said distractedly and took some spare harness sections from a peg board and started buckling him in without his consent. Levi could feel your breath warm upon his neck when your arms slid about his middle, snapping an extra two belts into place to better distribute weight. His back stiffened and Levi remained obligingly still, letting you focus on your work. “How’s that? Too tight?”

“Not tight enough.” He said in a monotone. You moved around to his front, grasped the offending belt and snapped it tighter with a flick of the wrist. He watched dead into your eyes again and didn’t flinch. You smiled, managing to appreciate how he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction. That was satisfaction enough in and of itself.

“How about you let me know if I make any of them too tight, then…” You trailed off and re-adjusted another couple of belts on his harness, hooking them together in a way unusual to the rank and file. When your hands were by his inner thighs, he nearly bit at you to back off; but let this happen also. Levi kept calm. There is a mission to focus on. Though it’s frustrating to have an attractive woman getting handsy, it wasn’t for a sexual reason. When the actual ODM gear was being hooked on, the belts distributed that dreaded extra weight in a way that made it negligible. “Now remember,” You handed Levi the trigger handles but held one up for him to look at in the sallow red glow of the forge. “Conserve, and Full Throttle. The anchors have better grab than usual to compensate for weight and speed. At full throttle, you’ll be on a titan before either of you figures out how, so you better have _damn_ good reflexes or your ass is grass. Got that?”

Levi nodded once, studying the triggers. You turned and grabbed a few more tanks and swords to carry along before leaving the forge, with Levi keeping his mind on the mission and not on remembering where your hands were.

Priorities.


	4. Freak Flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What passes for a rescue operation begins. Fortunately, it isn't all so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reads, kudos, and reviews my lovelies!  
BTW; Originally this was a MUCH longer chapter, so I snapped part off to begin a fifth one. Long chapters are good, but I also don't want them to become a tough read. Enjoy!
> 
> \- Rhiga

Freak Flag

You didn’t envy them, these soldiers. They must venture into unknown circumstances and risk life or limb, potentially both, when things come down to a wire and a prayer. Now you were riding out with them. How could that be so?

Days ago, life was quiet and unassuming. Driven by hard work and simple tastes, surviving off wit and land alike. But this is an unforgiving world. It will chew you up and shit you back out, on to the next before you’re digested. The scouts live that reality. Oh no no, you did not envy them a _skosh_. 

So naturally here you were, nearly gnashing your teeth as you rode side by side with them. Fury would not be unburdened quickly enough, so now you were riding another mount. Not unlike your current ODMG, she was leaner. Quicker. Sturdy without being a draft horse, obedient and stalwart in disposition unlike Fury, and exquisitely trained. A _real_ scout warhorse. Mother’s horse. You felt bad for pulling her back into this after being out of action for so long.

Mom named her Zephyr, swift and nimble as her namesake. You called her ‘Zeff’ for short. She knew these lands better than you did, and easily picked around and over hidden obstacles in the earth under hoof. On your left was Levi and his black steed, on your right was Erwin on his snow white one. Petra was catching up on her roan. 

A white horse. A black horse. A pale one, and a red one. There’s a part of the world where some would quiver at such a sight. Until, you know, Oluo’s chestnut stallion caught up and it was blatantly obvious that this is not _the_ sign of end days. 

Riding down a slope into the aptly-named lowlands, the sun above was on and off eclipsed by cottony clouds. Zephyr snorted and bounded over a low ridge like the experienced athlete she is, charging full-tilt downhill to level land. Oluo began yelling at your back to conserve her stamina. But you ignored him. The ride was putting you in a better mood, snarl turning to a grin with the wind in your hair. On flatter ground they could see you stand up in the stirrups, weight perfectly distributed. Between your hands was an old scouting spyglass from Father. You peered ahead into the fog, unflinchingly standing high in those stirrups whole Oruo cursed your arrogance for not listening to his sage advice. Petra almost whooped Hange-style at this display to spite her cohort and his disapproval. Levi rolled his eyes, but sort of appreciated the view.

“YOU’RE FUCKING STUPID! AND RECKLESS!” Oluo bellowed over the uproarious clamor of their hooves and prepared for his own ride to make the same jump. His chestnut did so without complaint, bringing up the rear. You turned at the waist with that vicious grin and roared back. “GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME, DEAD-LAST!?” 

So, ‘Hazard’ indeed. A woman prone to hazardous behavior. _’How aptly named,’_ Erwin decided. Such actions were most likely to end you. But that could happen on someone else’s watch. For now, the Survey Corps needed you, and you needed them to pay you back. Simple arrangement really. He could tolerate your attitude if it meant that he could get his people home safe. Also, it was a bit humbling. Seldom did he find himself in the company of one not trained to roll over on command, much less while at the mercy of such a person. Scout parents you might’ve had, but they clearly didn’t teach you to obey the military. Obeying orders got their comrades dead.

He watched how wind blasted your hair back, with a bandana the same green as their cloaks pinned in tight enough not to go flinging away. Zephyr ran true, occasionally maneuvering around any stones or critter holes without sending you toppling. You took a second to close your eyes. _This_ is freedom. Only things better than this are flying and sex. Here or there, life is lived every day like tomorrow brought an end. 

Certainly, it could. 

Erwin permitted himself a smile, not minding as much that you took point without consulting them first. You’re their guide, if anything this made sense. When you were able to survey what was visible ahead, you stowed the spyglass and settled back onto the saddle. No titans yet. Here is where you warned things would get tricky. Already at a lower elevation the mist hung motionless, barely touched by wind. This sector of Paradis is frequently plagued by abhorrent weather. You kept the horses in from multiple hail storms during their short visitation here. The coast isn’t far, but you never bothered enlightening the Scouts of this fact. Vanaheim’s proximity to that mercurial sea was what had so many homes looking like patchwork without stitching.

Now their steeds were stretching their legs. Once the distance closed up and the air was clogging up with an ill fume, you drew Zeff to a stop and swept your gaze side to side. Shortly you were surrounded by your newfound ‘friends’ on horseback, with Levi emitting a grunt. “What’s wrong?” You covered your nose out of habit while taking half a moment to get used to the reek. “Probably nothing.” You heard yourself say, automatically lowering your left hand to latch one handle around a blade with a not-so-subtle ‘click’. “Someone’s been killing titans nearby. Or they were at one another again.”

“Excuse me, did you say that titans go after _each other_ around here?” Petra echoed for clarification. This made the others understandably tense. Your eyes weren’t upon them, instead scanning this unholy legion of fog; wisely mistrusting its depths before pulling Zeff’s reins to the side and keeping your hand on a prepared sword. “Always have. When I catch them doing so, I figure it’s wiser to let them have at it. Two consenting adults and whatnot.” Zephyr trotted around water’s edge, with many more bog-like holes hiding in tall, ragged grass ahead. Dead stumps freckled the swamp, with great big fallen trees rotting in the murk. “Usually the especially violent ones are much further down, so that’s unwelcome news. Perhaps lured deeper by your friends?”

Silence presided for a while beyond that, as these soldiers pieced together what they believed you couldn’t. There was one explanation they presently knew of for titan-on-titan carnage; and that had to do with what they gleaned from Trost and how pure titans respond to a shifter like Eren. _Eren_, who you bandaged and fed with equal consideration to his companions. Erwin continued to stack information together as though a deck of cards in his head, mouth closed and eyes open. He watched you closely, as there were things that didn’t completely make sense to him with what explanations were previously given. Though, he supposed, there’s always the possibility that he was overthinking this. You could truly be a simpler person than he was accustomed to handling. This lack of labyrinthine complexity was striking. 

For now, the group progressed carefully without another word, following your example single file of where to steer their horses so no legs would be broken. In this treacherous section the paths were narrow and weed-choked. It was best to focus.

_Across the way…_

Miche was the chosen one, being second to Levi in prowess. Also, as Hange reasoned, ‘his nose knows’. He could sniff their comrades out. But that was feeling doubtful at present. Miche had his tanks filled with what remained from several others, taking any extra swords also, and split. He wasn’t loving his job much today. Swamps are stagnant and moldy, with an oozy stink. Add vermin, rotting corpses, titan spew and steam to the mix, and there’s a recipe for a nauseating aroma fit to make him puke. The trees were packed tight in this spot, with branches forming a close weave that occasionally made movement with his ODMG untenable. He could conserve gas and use his zip lines to stay safe. Falling here could get him skewered or trapped.

Here and there Miche had to avoid plowing into giant, reddish globs of ‘titan yack’ (Hange’s technical term) lodged between closer tree trunks like alien monster cocoons. Many were hardened in place. A more recent one had gooey, fleshy limbs prodding out, literally dripping with maggots. He’d be seeing that uninvited image engraved within his forehead for months. Fucking MONTHS. Was this an improvement on the night terrors from witnessing his own subordinate getting bitten into pieces? He couldn’t tell anymore. 

Zacharias would travel for half hour intervals. He was now squatting on a branch, giving the faceless smog below his moodiest glare. This lack of visibility made how everybody got split up less of a mystery, but those titans before were unusually canny. How’d they know to break the formation? Equally big mystery: how’d those lumbering idiots know to drive them into this soup? Hange and Armin argued at length last night. It wasn’t, as Gelgar supposed, ‘dumb luck’…those lumbering freaks _knew_. An argument could be made whichever way with no evidence to support either theory. Of the two, he gave preference to Gelgar’s line of thinking. They’re titans. They are frickin’ stupid. Yet here Miche was hours later, leaving flares as temporary breadcrumbs on his search. He dared not go inside this fog unsupported. That could be suicide. Any other day, those brainless bastards were welcome to try him.

He opened a rough palm to read the watch face clutched within. There. Thirty minutes. Miche reached to the pack at his side, which was overfilled with flares and a spare gun. The bag was already getting light.

“…” 

A snap, click, BANG! Green rocketed high. Miche’s eyes slitted against a wind which stirred his verdant smoke above, but that blasted mist remained mostly undisturbed below. _‘Damn this place.’_ He thought to himself, took another glug of water, and pressed on and between firing his anchors and reeling himself carefully around tangled branches. This Section Commander let himself dream of home on the way to keep from dwelling on his current undesirable situation. To think of the familiar softness of his bed. The aromas of black tea, new leather, clean steel, oil. The faded, perfumed scent lingering upon his pillow from a recent conquest. _Anything_ but this hair-curling fume. 

He would thus progress. Travel, flare, hydrate, wait. At hourly intervals Hange would shoot up a yellow flare indicating that they’re still watching for him, and their situation hasn’t changed. Dammit, how far could these greens stretch? This place is massive. It sprawled for miles on each side, spilling into the forest, fed by a tributary. 

Travel, flare, hydrate.

Waiting.

_In the Murk…_

Took some doing to avoid a handful of oblivious giants, but you led them to a safer part, where trees could be used as grapple points for ODMG because those titans were suspiciously quiet. This had you even more on edge, with both swords out and steering Zephyr with your knees, something you couldn’t really do with Fury due to the sheer breadth of his back. The others paused upon seeing your figure flatten down against Zeff’s neck to avoid touching a grimy curtain of vines, turned her to the side, and lifted the mossy veil with the edge of a sword to beckon them through. Levi found himself begrudgingly thankful for this tiny act of kindness. They had their hoods up, and you had your bandana, but no one wanted their heads touching that. “We have to go slower in here.” You instructed patiently, quietly, fingers fixed around your triggers. Tension was palpable. Tension as in, afraid? Pure anxiety about encountering some pure titans that weren’t loafing around? Probably some of everything.

You absentmindedly swatted a bug on your arm with the flat of a sword. 

“The bugs are the worst in here. I can deal with wads of titan puke, but these _bugs!”_ Petra hissed beneath her breath. You raised one shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah? Then you’ll have a very nasty surprise if you fall into one of these bogs. So don’t.” You told her calmly, watching her wobble in her seat as she struggled to brush a tarantula off her cloak.

“I’m sure. Full of them, right?”

“Full of bones, slimy things and rotting meat.” You said. Petra’s lip curled in disgust, as did Levi’s. “This is a breeding ground. Where titans go, flies and carrion feeders are sure to follow.” On that cheery note, you resumed your task of leading the way through. When Petra peered down, she swore she could see ghastly, skeletal shapes beneath glassy water. Glints of metal. Wings of Freedom, cloth rotting in shallow, watery graves with the bones of their fallen. It was chilling for these living scouts to ride past so many long dead ones. The deathly hush behind made you sigh. “Oh, right. I forgot to warn everybody not to look down.”

This was met with further silence. In the mist, on a pale horse, you may as well be a wraith. Erwin made a mental note to corner Sadies later and ask him if he had any expeditions out this far that weren’t appropriately marked down. Far as he could recall in the records, there shouldn’t have been any. The fresh corpses of human and horse; those he could explain. They were all _his_, and this was now their final resting place. Erwin already knew there was no way to bring back the dead. Notifying the families was a task occurring with mind numbing regularity, and one he didn’t miss a bit.

BOOM.  
BOOM. BOOM.

The spell was broken. Everyone was jarred from their thoughts. Stagnant pools rippled around bones and aged stumps like eroded, mossy teeth. The horses stilled. Everybody did, coiled tight and prepared to spring.

BOOM.

What was once a pair of tree trunks ahead became a set of enormous legs. The tremors awoke other titans from whatever languor they were in, with a 7-meter rising from the bog way to the left with his smaller fellows. One puny 3-meter thrashed to free its chubby little self from quicksand-like mud. These things seemed to be everywhere at once.

“What the HELL?!” Oluo snarled. Suffice it to say, everybody scattered to the relative safety of above. _“HOW_ the hell!?” He repeated and zinged around an actual tree to get a better shot at that hulking freak, only to be abruptly encountered with another behemoth. “OUT OF MY WAY!” Levi had a chance to test out his borrowed gear, and he would now take that opportunity. Oluo maneuvered smoothly out of Levi’s path as demanded and shot back around to his original target, detaching and re-firing his wires on instinct. His foe turned in time for Oluo’s blades to glance off his shoulder, but this didn’t deter the veteran. He was back on target in seconds, swooping around at a hard angle to slice that thing’s arms off at the inner elbow. His dimwitted target brayed in agony, swinging its smoking arm stumps in a sad attempt to catch an elusive quarry.

Erwin was an airborne weapon himself while Petra further down set her blades to a 7-meter with equally practiced ease. Between this action, Levi discovered that you weren’t joking—as Erwin wound up some velocity to come crashing down on that 15-meter’s nape, Levi was slung by him almost unceremoniously and, right in time, dug trenches through the beast’s neck so deep that not only did the nape go flying, it’s _whole throat_ was sawed through with only a front quarter left attached. He caught onto a tree and clung to the side, staring at the blades in hand. He finally had a real chance to examine their form: the metal was thicker and bit wider from spine to serrated edge. With these Levi was even more of an airborne sawblade. As though he needed help with achieving that.

“Levi!” Erwin yelled. That was nauseatingly fast, even by Levi standards. You zipped by, oblivious to their astonishment and retracted one cable. The second remained attached up ahead and you took the sharp turn, letting flexible steel bend around a tree trunk before releasing. There was a titan with both hands on your tree not moments ago, maw gaping for a snack. 

Slinging higher and higher between trunks, you showed them how insanely reckless you _really_ are: when the thing opened it’s mouth wider in anticipation, you fired your anchors and disappeared within. Instantly the nape was ripped out from inside, which should not be easily possible unless you could keep blinding momentum to break through. You burst out as though being born again, grinning like a wolf and coated in burning titan blood. Erwin’s blue spheres were wide, with Levi almost appearing surprised himself. He was presently sticking to the same as tree as Erwin, who was taking a chance to change swords. The Commander didn’t need his own experience to recognize what he was seeing. That you weren’t killing to -survive-. What confirmed this is when you proceeded to your next victim, swerving around this new colossus without the same finesse as a trained soldier. You ran up its arm. Bounded away when jaws snapped close, landed on its head. When nearly rammed into a tree, you were gone again, on its chest. Slid around to its back, catapulted backwards, swung in a hard arc back into its nape for a solid kill. Like a cat playing with her food for sport.

You were reveling in the carnage as they were fighting for their lives. Hange would gobble you up with a spoon. He kind of wanted to do the same for a second there, but wouldn’t that be terribly unbecoming? Deeply unconventional though you were, he felt more alive just watching you in action. There’s nothing poetic to speak of. Only human viciousness on display. If the titans don't hide what they are, why should we? 

Erwin came back to his senses and swooped away to another target, cutting through nape after nape without slowing down. Levi was onto his usual acrobatics before then, spinning, doubling back, dropping low, flipping upwards, leaving streaks of blood in his wake. He was undoubtedly the most graceful here. His movements were nothing short of beautiful. You paused to watch them in action. To understand who these people are.

Petra also flew with a sort of balletic grace, but nothing approaching the Captain’s skill level. Oruo would try to copy Levi, while Erwin’s fighting style left nothing to be desired in terms of efficiency. No energy was wasted. He tore through these walls of flesh as though they were tissue paper and proved why he is called ‘Scout Commander’. Wasn’t often that he was seen doing so. 

But this part of Levi Squad, as you learned they were named, moved in perfect synchrony. The more titans that came out of the woodwork, the less they were fazed. What changed is that Petra and Oluo had to struggle more to keep up with Levi on his currently souped-up gear, despite that he wasn’t one hundred percent acquainted with it. You stopped ogling and spiraled around another tree, almost appearing to free-fall, and zoomed away at the last second before landing in the greening husk of a toppled tree. A fast rebound off the back of a titan Levi shredded through, and you were millimeters from his blades before being gone as soon as you were there. Levi didn’t flinch back, but he sure as shit wasn’t happy about that stunt. At least that you were quick. 

This is good. You were not holding them back, just…ahem…giving them mild heartburn. For sure though, there was no longer a wonder why those young boys thought titan killing is ‘fun’, if they saw you in action. 

A few more kills to your name. You dispatched them with utmost savagery. There was something raw and uncultured about your style of movement. Something primal. When the herd was thinned, you saw a chance. “I’m going to have a look above!” You shouted over a titan’s death howl, and dropped low to give yourself as much space as possible. “What?!” Petra called back. 

You ignored her and began a ‘run’, building as much speed as humanely possible with extended air bursts between anchor pulls. This gear is meant to be light and fast. The ODMG dragged your weight seamlessly forth, up and up, until momentum brought you straight through a battery of leaves and twigs and high up into the blue.

Clear! A grateful breath of fresh air. 

For a split second the world was serene, unfurling in majesty unlike any other. Towns scattered across Paradis were as toys from this high. The sea was a vast blue mirror, with golden sunlight glinting off her surface. The swamp with a miasma of silver fog spanned out below, mountains to the east, a round walled civilization at the center, ancient-growth forests interspersed from one side to the other. Your ears popped while your body hung in space for what felt like a full 60 seconds; but was not nearly as long in reality. The fall would be hard to grapple with. You wanted to be up here a bit longer. 

Then, as gravity said ‘Enough.’, you saw it: a green trail wavering higher still. Not far off either. Your body twisted quickly backwards into a somersault so the branches wouldn’t smack into your face as you fell. Able to right yourself when past the thickest number of them; you already had your arms spreading back as though a swimmer surrendering into a swan dive. Except with sword triggers at your clutches. So incredible up there, only to plummet back to a putrid world, battered with leaves and cut by twigs against your arms. But your anchors easily spared you from becoming red paint on tree roots.

You caught, released, caught, released, caught, killed speed, wires squealed. _Silence, _. The scouts buttoned things up fast. Their green cloaks made it harder to see them with how they positioned themselves, waiting to see what the fuck you were doing so far up. Honestly, Levi was wondering if you were experienced enough to survive such a dizzying fall and had his triggers at the ready. That was insane high up, and he needed you to stay alive right now. Making sure you are _safe_ clearly didn’t fall upon them when you were too busy being nuts. They were full up of enough crazy so…. yay, another one. Got a freak flag? The Survey Corps is where you fly it. If he had to catch you and you were covered in sap or something, he would be very cross with you.

“Took long enough. What did you see?” Levi asked as you caught your breath, inwardly glad to note he didn’t need to dash to your rescue. Doing so would guarantee a seat in the ‘brat’ category. You let your body hang in space by two glinting cables, anchors stapled into the bark of a branch above. The adrenaline from before was dying down, so your frame felt less jittery while adjusting automatically to achieve the best center of balance. “Green smoke.” You let the cords reel as far down as they’d allow and dropped into Zephyr’s saddle, who meandered over to wait below. The horse snorted her disapproval at your hard landing. “Sorry girl, I didn’t mean that.” You whispered and rubbed the sides of her neck. She tossed her head. The others lowered onto their saddles as well. “Alright. Let’s find your guys.”

Petra smiled at her fellows. _’Thank Sina. We aren’t too late.’_

You doggedly led towards where this greenish smoke drifted from; and soon found that where you must go, the horses couldn’t be ridden. Here the trees were standing in so much water they would be trying to pony-paddle across. Doing so was a great way to catch an infection when all four of your companions had healing wounds. Travel by ODM gear would take over from here.

Upon reaching further in to where you estimated this signal originated, the group would split up. You pointed out that you were best suited to searching closer to the ground, but Erwin wasn’t having it. He insisted on accompanying you while Squad Levi searched the trees higher up. Thus began your alone time with the Commander in a super romantic festering cesspool.

“I truly end up taking men to the most exotic places.” You murmured, not thinking he’d hear. Erwin let out a short laugh. You peeked into a hollow stump. No one hiding there but a pile of bones. “This wouldn’t make it for the worst outing I’ve been on.” Then, “Truly.”

“Seriously? You’re a Commander, don’t you get away from doing these kinds of things normally?” Frogs were croaking around here. A good sign. Meant there was no lumbering monsters scaring them off. 

“Not as you’d think. Much of my work isn’t very glamorous.”  
“Oho, don’t tell me _this_ is glamorous for you, Erwin. If so I’m afraid we have different definitions of the concept.”  
“For a woman claiming to be ill-educated, you use large words.”  
“I never said ‘ill-educated’, I said ‘not educated like _you_.’ I was taught half at home, half in the field.”  
Erwin had on a brief smile before turning to angle his gaze suspiciously behind him. Turned out to be a rodent, darting past to safety. He chose to share a bit about himself. 

“This may come as a surprise, but I was home schooled as well before attending with my peers. At a public schoolhouse. I wasn’t born into a wealthy family.”  
“Who knew? We almost have something in common.”  
“That we are home schooled, or that we’ve both already made assumptions about one another?” Your heart skipped a beat when these words spilled past his full lips, and you spun around to catch his gaze from beneath that deep green hood. He hadn’t lost any of that intensity. He knew he got you. “If we can both own up to being assholes about that, then it’s a big step in a good direction.” You said at last. His expression softened a touch. “Agreed.”

“But maybe I was the bigger asshole this round.”  
“Also agreed.”

Erwin could appreciate this conversation for what it was. He made assumptions about you too and could admit to that wrongdoing, evidently you were able to do the same.

The search would continue in earnest for another quarter of an hour. There were tracks to be found in the mud, which you stooped to examine. Upon hearing the blond approach, “Hey, Erwin. How many pairs of boots are issued to each individual in the Survey Corps? Like, none of you here are wearing very new ones right now, yeah?”

Strange question. “One on average.” You swiveled partway to look up his legs at him, then put a hand on his calf and touched the leather, felt the wear and tear, touched the top hem around his knee before your digits dropped away to mind their own business. This had an unusual effect on his expression. You didn’t notice and hummed, returning to study these prints. “We’ve been practically going in circles in this area before I even saw these here, so I wasn’t sure if either of us made them. But your boots are too well broken in. Mine too. I’m no expert clearly, but whoever made these is probably wearing newer ones. Their treads left a crisp impression.”

Erwin settled into a squat beside you, gaze lowered. Sure enough… “These definitely couldn’t be from any of us. A rookie could have, but none of us here. I know Levi has worn the same ones for years. Petra and Oluo are likely the same.” He said thoughtfully and arose. The Commander offered a hand, which you accepted and stood up. His hand was warm. Strong. He was able to pull you up with minimal effort. You tried not to think about what else could be done with those hands. “They haven’t filled in with swamp water, and the usual critters are making a racket in that direction. They’ve been gone long enough. To say nothing of how we must’ve passed them twice.” Right as you were both about to see where they led, an acoustic shot rang out. Erwin spared not a second in turning towards where the ambiguous shapes of trees were and flew off, with you in pursuit. Took a few to find them, but up ahead the Levi crew was standing around Miche, who was decidedly rougher around the edges than normal with a twig sticking out of his hair.

“—glad to hear that. We need to get a recovery mission together right now.”  
“With what resources?” Miche asked in his usual baritone voice. “Did you find the supplies?”  
“Actually, we made a friend.”

Erwin touched down and you landed on a branch high and to their right. “Miche, good to see you’re in one piece. Did you not come alone?” He could barely get a sentiment out before this burning question. The Section Commander shook his head. “I had to. There was only enough gas for one.”

“Then we aren’t alone out here.” He told them. Levi clicked his tongue. “Tch, I know. They slipped away.” He saw Miche gave a sniff in your direction, but it was no use. The swamp had his great big sinuses clogged. “And you are…?”

“The friend.” You said. “Introductions can happen when we aren’t in the belly of the beast. Want to get out of here now?”

“The others are waiting.” Miche’s answer was a bit harsh the way his tone came out, making you raise your eyebrows. “I have no intention of leaving them stranded.” The group would get back to the horses anyway. They weren’t too far. 

“What’s the status with them?” Erwin asked on the way. He was pure business right now. He needed facts, _now_, to put some kind of rescue together.

“As you may have guessed, there are no supplies. Everybody is exhausted and our horses are ready to drop. It took what little we had to get me this far.”

Erwin did not appear discouraged, but you sure as shit were. Joy of joys, these people were going to invade your house! Again! MORE of them! But was pouting going to get you out of this soggy place and to a warm hearth? No! “They stayed put after that first flare?” Levi asked.

“Yes. They’ve been sending yellow flares periodically.”

“Then you can bring us straight to them.”

“Not happening.” You sat in the saddle. “Those bones you saw are what happens when a big enough group tries to push through here. But hey if you want to get suicidal, be my guest. There’s always more titans where those came from earlier.”

“This is coming from the psycho who intentionally flew into a titan’s _mouth?!”_ Oluo screeched. “Shut up, Dead-Last. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.”

“Oi. That’s my job.” Levi said dryly. “Miche. How are they for food?”

“Not much of that left, either. I’m out of food and water myself. Dunno what they got left.”  
“Here Miche, we brought extra.” Petra the sweetheart offered, holding out a water skin that was strung up beside others on her saddle. He accepted without a second thought. “We have some gas and blades too. You should reload.”

The Commander was mounted up, turning and fixing you with this look that declared he is not screwing around right now. “Then we go through here ourselves and lead them around on the return. We have no real way of knowing how long they can hold out. Waiting is not an option when they are defenseless.” Erwin said, a tone of finality in his voice. You pinched the bridge of your nose, sensing that you had no options here, then dropped your hand to swat a bug. “Erwin?”

“Hm?”  
“These people better be worth the mosquito bites.” You snapped the reins. The others were quick to follow. They could agree with your parting sentiment as they were being bitten to death, too. Veterans slogging through filth to find their wayward fellows, bombarded by bugs constantly. A glamorous job indeed. Levi was trying not to crawl out of his own skin.

Soon the group would be picking through another path down the center, which you expressed displeasure with, saying ‘That’s the kill zone. Also, crocodiles.’ 

“Crocodiles?”  
“Giant lizards that can bite on you like a titan. Not bad for eating though. Kind of tastes like chicken.”  
“Ugh. You really will eat anything. Disgusting.” Oluo, impersonating Levi’s brand of condescension poorly.

To make a point you withdrew one dried piece of meat from a saddle pack and took a bite, intentionally dragging against your teeth so the flesh ripped. Oluo was riding level with you so he could argue better and shaped his face into a bored one at your demonstration. Miche was watching you from where he sat on the back of Oluo’s saddle. Recalling what was said before, you fished out a couple more slices to hand over. “Here. I swear it’s not crocodile.” He accepted without question, opting to sniff at this offering before deciding it was good, and ate. You snapped the reins and rode up further. Levi was now in Oluo’s view without you in the way, and he flicked the other an annoyed glance before riding after you. 

The lowlands are unforgiving, as said before. It was hard on the horses, with their hooves cutting deep into moist earth for much of the way. But they were stalwart as their riders, able to bear them through hellish circumstances worse than these. You had them weaving around obstacles, on and off hating your own decision of seeing them through this. However long it took, the lowlands began to peter out and ground became stable. The mist shuddered back, for all the horrors it contained were not enough to add this group to the sunken boneyard within. Another green flare was sent away before proceeding.

Miche directed the way from here, and Erwin took point again. You were glad of this. Being any kind of leader is not your forte. Whether or not it was playing travel guide, you were more comfortable easing back and doing your own thing. 

The forest fanned out from the right, and a ways down, a scream drifted out from above. “WOOP-WOOOOO!!!!! WE’RE SAVED!!!!!!!” Hange bellowed, jumping for joy with Moblit making a wild grab for her harness before she toppled overboard, “S-Section Commander! Be careful!!”

“Wait…why so few?” Armin wondered, adjusting his scope. “Commander Erwin, Captain Levi…Oluo, Petra…Section Commander Miche…and who’s that?”

“Who cares, the cavalry’s arrived!” Connie exulted, bounding up from his spot. “The Section Commander really found them!! We’re not gonna die!!!!”

“Dammit Connie, chill out.” Gelgar rumbled. He watched when the titans cavorting at the bases of their trees started bustling away on heavy feet, thundering towards new and exciting prey. The horses split into a staggered formation, with you guessing at where to fall into it at the back. The first off his steed was Levi, latching his hooks into one titan and using it to swing across another, swords brought to bear. A spin of blades shredded through this one, and another. Another. It became a five-kill streak off the same building momentum, providing he could keep firing off those anchors and not drop his inertia. This gear was no joke alright. He’d be sad to see it go. Faster and faster still, he was tearing this place up. You were up and about it quickly when a 10-meter nearly sideswiped you off Zephyr, but a splash of smoking blood marked the thing’s death before you could be the cause yourself or know who to thank. They really are remarkable at what they do. You had to give them that much for sure.

They didn’t seem to feel the same way about you. For now, you abstained from anything that could be misconstrued as ‘psychotic’ without as many places to sink your anchors and set about killing titans in the most vanilla way you knew how: with natural efficiency. No acrobatic frills. No spinning around. Just plain old viciousness. Circle high, that spot upon the neck. Don’t wait too long or the beast will rip your leads out. Dive. Slice. Repeat. This didn’t remove the brutal satisfaction of digging bloody trenches through a monster’s screaming flesh. You may not have perfected this art as the vaunted Levi Squad did, but you were still good at it because you _had_ to be. That, or submit to your fate as titan chow. You went with option one.

Incidentally, this is the very option everyone on this field picked too. 

The titans were many, and not slowing down. There would be no support from the others who were sticking to their trees because as Miche said, he took what was left to make the journey. This was it. This time there wasn’t an opportunity to pause and indulge in some harmless voyeurism. You were genuinely fighting for your life. The group who got tree’d for hours upon hours drew so many titans, you wondered if there was going to be an end in sight. Most of your battles weren’t this prolonged. Yours went quicker, save for days when you felt like playing with your food.

They fared better than you did in this sort of long-term fight, having been trained extensively for this. You may have almost outshone them earlier, but for now your whole body was aching like hell beneath your harness, especially at such speed. You had to keep up the momentum. Four, five, six…no, eight kills in a row. Nine. Ten. Eleven Twelve…wait. “Hey! Levi!” You shouted, sticking to a tree for a moment while changing blades. Armin blinked down at you, he happened to be on this tree as well. The fighting had to be moved from the open field into where the trees gave an advantage.

“WHAT?”

“DO THE SMALL ONES COUNT AS ONE POINT OR A HALF?!” And you rocketed off again.

“THEY COUNT AS A HAAAAALF!!!!” Hange screamed between funneled hands from up above.  
“HEY THANKS!” You waved a sword. “Okay so, _not_ twelve.” You hummed. “How many little guys was that, again?” You landed atop a titan’s oversized melon and pondered for a second until he tried to fling you off, and you bounded straight upwards, tipped down, and in a flash of steel literally sent the runty 3-meter’s whole head flying, with the neck carved clean out. Connie was leaning down with his hands on the tree branch, staring agape as a smaller titan head went rolling. “Holy CRAP!”

“Alright! Thirteen, bitch!”

Levi cursed on his way by. Did you think this was a fucking game? He alighted upon Hange’s branch. “Oi, Four Eyes. Don’t encourage her.” Then he was off, swinging around into a hard spiral. From their view on the branches, a captive audience was staring, awestruck, at this display below. Titans were dropping like flies. Broken steel littered the forest floor, glinting in rays of sunlight and a wash of burning blood. Massive body after body was felled, rattling leaves from their trees. The Scouts were baking in a steam bath that stunk of meat. Gelgar gritted his teeth together. “I can’t stand this shit, they’re gonna get worn down!”

“We can’t do anything like we are.” Moblit reminded him, struggling to keep a hand on a strap of Hange’s harness while she hung over the branch and cheered, fists in the air. “Urgh—SECTION COMMANDER! For the love of GOD!”

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH GUYS, YOU GOT THIS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

That’s basically how it went. The horde of titans had to be cut down because they weren’t trying to leave when there were snacks to be had. 

It was a bit distracting with such a vocal cheerleader, though.


	5. Flame & Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a world of balanced opposites. Sometimes the balancing act itself is too much to bear, and as friends are reunited you seek a reprieve.

Flame & Shadow

Soon everyone was cleared out of their trees and whistling for horses, whom scattered with titans stomping about. Hange flung her arms around Miche and planted a wet kiss on his dirt smeared, stubbled cheek. “MMUH! I knew you’d make it, ya big lug!” While she kept Miche in a tight hug (with Levi approaching to berate her), Gelgar and Moblit were letting Erwin know what happened on their end. Connie and Armin were left alone to talk and keep whistling for horses, same as several other soldiers. Having no part in any of their matters, you went off on your own to Zephyr and put your forehead against her gray snout. “I know it’s been years. You’re as strong as I remember.” You rubbed her jaw affectionately, the way Mom always taught you to. _‘Never go for their nose. Would you like if I patted your face and rubbed on your nose in greeting each day?’_ and, to prove her point, whenever she caught you doing this to one of the horses she would do so to you instead of a peck on the forehead. You learned fast. As you were preoccupied with memories evoked from childhood; Connie decided to head in your direction, with Armin attempting to stop him.

“Hey!”

You didn’t respond at first, not knowing who he was calling for.

“I said HEY!”

This shout had you twisting to check. “What? Me?” 

“Yeah, you! I dunno who you are, but that was pretty damn awesome back there.” He said with a toothy grin, with a blond hovering nervously at his right. “I’m Connie Springer. This is Armin Arlert. Who’re you? Never seen ya before.” Armin hissed another unheeded warning at Connie. He relaxed more when you visibly got his confusion, with a hand stealing to touch the verdant fabric pinning your hair back. Wearing thigh-high jackboots, ODMG and a harness with parts of your outfit scout green, you physically appeared as though you could be affiliated with them. Not to mention, some of these garments were made from scavenged Survey Corps cloaks to begin with. After contemplating this with some amusement, you nodded to them. “Nice to meet you both. Call me Hazard. Everybody does.”

“Hazard? That’s not a name.” Connie observed with the blankest expression you've seen in your existence, only to be a bit shocked by his companion's reaction: Armin smacked a hand over Cueball's trap and vaulted into an apology. “I am SO sorry, he’s been _really_ rude today! W-we’ve been on edge awhile, you see…” You gave a short laugh to break this tension and make it easier for Arlert to relax, with Connie prying fingers free of his face. “That’s fine. You sound like Eren, he said almost the exact same thing.”

“You know Eren?!"  
"Wait, is he alright?”  
“Yeah yeah, him and his shadow. They’re fine. Probably bored to death by now since they had to be left behind." You drawled and held a newly latched sword up to use as a crude mirror. You proceeded to fix the pins holding your bandana in place, which was coming loose after so much commotion this afternoon. "For fucks sake, I'm covered in bug bites." They were noticeable before, though events kept your mind from registering more of these unsightly marks left on your torso. As your pants and boots were both thick leather, your lower half was blessedly spared from those nasty buggers. While you were distracted into rubbing a palm over a cluster of three red bumps, Connie got pulled aside by Armin and they were now having words. You couldn't care less what they had to disagree about. You were too busy wondering how long you'd be itchy after this whole rescue operation. Right when you chose to re-sheathe, the pair of rookie soldiers returned. "Hey. What do you mean they had to be left behind?" Connie's voice was torn through his teeth, grating in a throat parched of water. You removed handle from blade cartridge at your leisure. "Answer me!"

"Connie, _don't_."  
"If something happened to them Armin, we deserve to know!" 

"Oi. Enough with the third fucking degree. They’re fine." 

You could practically see the shiver flitting down their spines. Levi seemed to have this undignified effect on soldiers. "You'll see them soon enough. Now get your shit together. We're leaving soon." You raised your head and made direct eye contact with cool silvery irises, wondering what made his mood run more afoul than usual. Hardly could you know, this was borderline 'sunny and doting' for the Captain. That trek through the swamp put Ackermann in a _monumentally_ hideous mood, now that he was away from there, he was downright chipper. Or as close to that as he is capable of out here. "Erwin wants to talk." Levi said, holding your gaze. 

“Alright. But first,” You reached to Zeff's saddle, removing several water skins tied up along the back with a saddle bag. You'd almost forgotten they were there. "Here, kids. Don't guzzle this down in one go. That's the only fresh water you're getting for a while." And you set off after Levi, whose expression you could no longer read. He had some extra water tied up along with his own saddlebags, as did the others. But you took most of it, with Petra carrying dried foodstuffs on her roan and Oluo had the extra swords and canisters. Erwin had a bit of everything packed along his own saddle also. Upon arriving with Levi to have this chat with said blond, you noticed that their horses were unloaded of their supplies. Soldiers were taking time to drink and eat. Didn’t take a genius to see how burnt out they were, from their postures to snatches of conversation in passing.

"Seems we arrived in the nick of time." 

Erwin graced you with his winning smile. You wondered if that look on him was labeled as a lethal weapon where they came from. It was disarming. Easy to dupe people with and concealed his motives, that sly bastard. Did he know he could use you the second he woke beneath your roof? "Seems so." He agreed, voice rich and regal in a manner you hadn’t noticed before. This was probably due to Erwin’s utter relief at having his flock within eyeshot, and _not_ being found in pieces. _'A flight of Scouts'_, you decided. So many wings to behold. "Thank you for your support and willingness to act so quickly. They would've starved out if we waited much longer."

This made you quirk a brow. "Sure. No problem. How long have they been tree'd for exactly?" you asked, beginning to take note of how many there actually are. "Too long.” Was Miche's annoyed response. You ignored him. "I don't have enough to feed so many for very long. What I traded for today won't last the next couple weeks now, it'll barely hold us three or four _days."_

Commander Handsome’s expression was grave now. "Yes, about that. I'm afraid we must ask more of you until we're in any shape to return home. Rest assured, you will be fully compensated for your trouble. Though such details need to wait until we’re out of the open." There was this element of quiet power to him. His voice, his stance, each detail of his person was so beautifully composed into a solid being, rough about the edges as he was. Smith’s current appearance had nothing on who he was, say, back at the castle. You were thankful to yourself for not letting your own intrigue show, but there really was something dangerously magnetic about him. "Agreed. Let's concentrate on getting your adorable little flock out of here without more ruffled feathers. We're still closer to my place than to your walls also so, back we go." You pointedly ignored the noise of discontent arising from those in proximity. _‘Adorable little flock’? _For fuck’s sake. They aren’t sheep. The way you described it made them sound diminutive. Cute, even. Soldiers a NOT CUTE. 

At least Erwin knew how much of a pain this was, and if he disapproved of this description, he didn’t indicate such. You also held very minor stock in his words when he spoke of 'compensation'. How in the world could they repay the kind of tab they've racked up when they don’t live close? Seemed as though acts of kindness, like lies, tend to propagate at an alarming rate. 

"Anyhow, you've met Section Commander Miche Zacharias. This is Section Commander Hange Zoe, and Vice-Captain Moblit Berner." Erwin introduced. Your expression was flat. Severe. _Unimpressed._ As unimpressed with them as they were with _you._ "Congratulations. Y'all survived in my backyard without food or water." You drawled and cracked a smile in contrast. Moblit's perpetual state of worry spiked, wondering if this meant there was another sarcastic prick to deal with. A female one, at that. Until, “No offense meant, of course. I know it's not frigging easy out here. Let's reserve the real pleasantries for later, shall we? I would like to be home for dinner.”

They were fast to agree. Home, _any_ home, was better than being stranded. When you left their company Hange woke up from whatever spell she was in and set off. Before you understood how or why, two arms twined about your midsection in a crushing bear hug. "AIIIIIIEEE! YOU'RE JUST PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS!!!"

"HRK! G-get...OFF!"  
"Section Commander! Please let her go!"  
"I hear you went into a titan's MOUTH! What was that like?! How'd it feel?! How'd it smell?! What was the temperature like?! COULD YOU SEE DOWN HIS THROAT?! DETAILS, CHICKY! **I NEED DETAILS!"**

"IT WAS LIKE WHEN THIS CRAZY BITCH SNUCK UP ON ME WITH HER HUMID FUCKING BREATH IN MY EAR AND CRUSHED MY LUNGS INTO BLOODY PULP---NOWLETGO BEFORE I DROP YOU LIKE A DRESS!!!!"

Hange gasped theatrically. "Really?! Who?!"

This oblivious Section Commander couldn’t understand how it happened, but once a set of fingers caught shoulder; Hange saw the world upside-down over your head a split second before landing hard on her back, sheathes giving a wretched squeal of metal on harness rings. You stood up and patted dirt off the knees of your leather thigh-highs. "Whew! That'll learn ya, psycho."

"AHHH Section Commander! Are you alright?!" Moblit was at her side straight away. Hange lay motionless before popping up with a cracking sound and snorted out a laugh. "WOOP, HAHAH! That's the best nap I've had in a while!" You shook your head and mounted up on Zephyr's back. "Freaking crazy. Sneak up on me like that again and you'll be staring at your own spleen!" You spat out and turned your mount away from this madwoman. "You, uh, really don't like people, huh?" A timid voice, originating from the blond who called himself Armin. You had a chance to actually examine his face better now. He contained an element of innocence that should've been pulverized by the military long ago. "More like I've had a few too many drunk jackasses try to jump me from behind, and she's lucky I didn't have my knife on me."

"So you acted without thinking? That can be very dangerous." Armin stated bravely. "But I think I understand where you're coming from." This, too, reminded of Eren. Crazy bastard they knew and love, he flung himself at the Colossal without a second thought. His recklessness was as frightening as it was endearing.

"If you understand then why are you asking?" He went quiet, both of you watching Hange laugh off her abrupt introduction with the ground. Moblit helped her up into her saddle and made her sit tall, making sure she didn't wobble as a sign of concussion. Your expression softened. Armin noticed. "People giving a fuck about one another, though...that's news to me." You murmured to him, and rode away to meet Erwin and Levi before he could comment. Arlert felt sad for you. What sort of life did you lead that made you jump to such a conclusion? How long before they'd need to live that same way, if they couldn't protect Rose and Sina? He resolved to learn what he could here. Knowledge is power and he needed what power he could gain. Armin Arlert cannot become a green-eyed rage monster, but his wits were sharper than any blade.

"Sorry not sorry, but I had to--"  
"We saw." Levi cut across you. He didn't appear to mind that you floored Hange. "She's a fucking pain in the ass. But we need her in one piece."  
"Right." You said, watching them closely. From their current expressions, you had no way of figuring out how they actually felt about that display. "Okay. I might be kind of sorry. That could’ve been handled better." 

“Yes. You both could’ve acted accordingly.” 

"Tch, she's the worlds smartest idiot. Doesn't always think her shit through." Erwin fought off a smirk at Levi's description, but neither of you caught the twitch at the corner of his mouth. "So, Mister Commander. Prepared to get underway? I'm ready when you are."

His answer was to turn his stallion about, and roar in a voice like thunder that send an unexpected chill across your back. "ATTEN-SHUN!!!!!" His flock went silent, about-faced, hands folded beneath their wings. "Mount up! We leave in five!"

They became a riot of green-cloaked motion, hastening to abide his solitary command. This was the first chance where you could see how regimented they really were. Erwin was tickled by your open fascination. "You could become one of us, you know." He rumbled, watching them. Levi was off to speak with Petra and Oluo about guarding the formation, who were mounted up in line with Gelgar and conversing. Your orbs tracked his progress towards them. "Ugh, how dare you." You wrinkled your nose in feigned disgust before flashing a playful smile at Erwin with a halfhearted chuckle. "I'd be a terrible soldier. I can't follow orders for the life of me."

"We'd whip that out of you." His response was borderline teasing. "You wouldn't be the first trainee who can't follow commands, and you won't be the last."  
_Won’t,_ he said, as though this is a foregone conclusion. "Thing is, Erwin, I love being free. I'm my own commander." Your smile diminished, and he caught a flash of teeth. Like white steel being sheathed. "If I do a thing, it's because I decided to. If I must face consequences, they are a result of what I did with no one but myself to blame."

"I can respect that. But if I may--"

"---because you will, anyway--"

"--you are able to follow orders for the sake of others. You chose the greater good of strangers over self-interest. You're experienced. You do not fear the titans. That is Survey Corps material."

This was sufficient to render you speechless temporarily. Opting for studying his face over a verbal jab, Erwin took this to mean that he struck a chord. He's a captivating speaker, though this isn't necessarily what caught you. It's the part where he pointed out that you chose to help so many who you knew nothing about. He did essentially force you into following an order earlier. Two, if you remembered correctly. Unless that was your memory making shit up, as it was wont to do. Mother and Father rang your head like a bell a bit too frequently growing up. When Erwin broke his penetrating stare from your own to see his people were ready, a funny noise between a cough and a chuckle climbed its way out your throat. "Don't think you've won. This discussion is _not_ over."

"I'd say it's only begun." He cocked one eyebrow and tugged his reins, leading the way. You chose to give him a head start before urging Zephyr into a gallop. What was happening in that pretty head of his? You shook it off. Can’t read too much into it. He’s used to being able to manipulate people and handily navigate Mitrassian court intrigue, which you knew very little about apart from word of mouth. There was but one ex-soldier you knew who lived in Mitras, an MP who’d been forced into several-too-many heartless tasks he could no longer stomach. You didn’t get many opportunities to talk with him and never knew what to call him. Before anyone could come up with something creative to name him after, he was eaten alive. Military Police are top of their cadet corps, but a titan killer this does not make.

These were thoughts you knew better than to linger upon when it was necessary to focus on what terrain lay ahead. This ride promised to be a taxing one on your mounts, and the sound of so many horses hammering the earth at your back was kind of stirring. An army. _Erwin’s_ army, or a fraction of it. You knew you weren't riding out ahead of these soldiers as a leader, but as a guide. He was further ahead. You would draw level when it was time to adjust course, finding signs in the landscape that must be heeded.

Back in the thick of it, soldiers had to gossip amongst themselves. There wasn't anything obscuring their view of your previous exchange with their Commander. Though nothing suspect happened during those five minutes, they can't help but notice that Erwin was having a clearly entertaining conversation with this nobody from no-fucking-where. This _rogue element_ who could represent any number of things which could go right or wrong for them. You got into a tiny tussle with Hange in plain sight. But you were also there in the heat of battle beforehand, struggling to protect them. That counted. Also, their vets who you arrived with were not regarding you as hostile. Erwin's judgment, and that of their veterans, should be trusted. 

Moblit's eyes searched the herd before swiveling back to Hange, who rode ahead of him on her thoroughbred. He wanted to have a minute to talk to her about what happened, and how it probably impacted the others. Morale is a potent thing, and for a week now their morale was painfully low. Berner hoped that seeing their fellows would be uplifting enough. Surely, they also felt better with some food and water in them (he sure did!), though there wasn’t much of either. The water and dried foodstuffs were parsed out as equally as possible. No one questioned where it came from, as none of it was the rations meant to be hauled out here with additional supplies. They didn't care when hunger howled within.

Speaking of howling, there came a rising shriek upon the wind from far away. No titans were to be seen, but a few motions from Erwin and the vets and senior officers broke to the edges of the formation to guard those who had no weapons left to fight with. You watched over your shoulder and snapped the reins, encouraging Zephyr to draw completely level with Erwin. "What're you thinking?" You asked. His eyes focused forward. "We need to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"No. That scream. What's it sound like to you?" He glanced over at this question. "I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Your mouth traced into a grim line. "Me neither. Too loud to be anything but a titan, but none of them are as shrill." The shriek from across the hills swept over to your ears once again. This wretched noise made your pupils contract. It was just so..._bracing._ "Kind of reminds me of a cougar stuck in a bear trap." You said after hearing it again. "Redwood told me. That she-cat screamed a hell of a lot like that. At first, we thought one of the girls got caught out gathering. Redwood's bear trap snapped shut over the wrong half, she was bleeding like fuck-knows-what, the metal teeth were embedded in her chest and back. She was a runt, but she kept the whole town up with that wail of hers. Her back should've broken from the snap."

Erwin wasn't sure you had the exact right idea here, but he knew what you meant. When any kind of thing makes that sort of sound, it's out of desperation or pain. He waited to hear it again, for it to prickle the back of his neck, but the screams never returned. Whatever made them was finished.

"Up this hill. We want to give the lowlands a wide berth." You advised, pointing ahead. "Let’s adjust pace so we don't strain our horses, yeah? It's going to get rocky from here." Below to your left, silvery mist filled every crevice with its ominous presence. You wondered how many more titans were inside, and if they'd come tumbling from that foul sanctuary to hunt their next meal. They did not. But those two screams had the whole group on edge, especially the rookies. 

** _Dusk..._ **

Riding around the swamp with a couple breaks in between ended up taking longer than necessary. No titans popped up between here and there but, once you saw buttery light spilling from open barn doors, you allowed relief to wash over you. Home. _Finally._ What a ridiculously long day.

Upon hearing a horde of horses approach; Eren and Sasha ran outside, waving their arms. They pulled the corral gates open. You rode past Erwin and by them, guiding Zephyr into the barn. Armin and Connie had to stop themselves from barging forward to greet their friends, long suffering as they've been since having learned that they were okay. "Eren!! Sasha!!!" Armin cried out. Soldiers and their mounts clustered into the corral, which was barely big enough to house them. You hopped off Zephyr and were greeted by Eld, who hobbled out to see what the fuss was about. He was instantly relieved. "Thank goodness." He breathed, watching his own friends dismount. You turned to Eld. "My house isn't on fire. Thanks for holding the fort down."

"My pleasure. I really didn't have to do anything but break up a couple stupid arguments. Er...though, Sasha almost slaughtered the turkeys. I convinced her not to. She had that _look_ about her."

"What 'look' are you referring to?" You asked, puzzled. Petra stifled a laugh, having heard this on her walk over. "The one where she turns feral and dives face first for anything food related." In the background orders were being shouted, creating a general commotion. Soldiers were taking what buckets there found and heading towards the well behind the barn to pump water for their horses. One scout approached and halted rigidly. "Excuse me!" He blurted out. "I'm meant to ask if there's extra feed for the horses!"

You looked between him, Eld and Petra, with Eld tilting his blond head inquisitively at you. It's your home, right? They weren't at liberty to dispense with your goods without permission. You gave a stiff nod and pointed. "Just there. And there's loads of hay in the loft if you run out."

The soldier saluted, something that had you pulling your head back in surprise as soon as he left. Eld had a guffaw at your expression. "You’re so shocked!"

"Not uh...oh, shut up." 

Petra joined in on his next chuckle and you strode away in a huff, noticing that Fury was kept penned. "We tried to unload him." Eld called over after a second, a hand now upon his side. Laughing aggravated the pulled muscles in his ribs. "He nearly caved Berthold's head." You grumbled. "Sounds about right. C'mere, you silly thing." You pulled the stable door open and petted Fury's mane. "Didn't I ask you to be good?" 

"Bert's head is fine, thanks for asking." Jean mocked from his corner. He had his heel elevated on a wooden crate and was winding ODMG cord around a hub. You pivoted to say something smart but noticed what he was doing instead and nearly screeched. "Were you in my workshop?!"

"Well YEAH, we kind of need to get our gear fixed, and I--"  
"I told you to stay the hell out!"

"Blame me. I saw a guy going inside hours ago." Eld supplied helpfully, aiming to take the heat off Kirschstein. "He called himself Ash. Jean said he knew who he was, and that you told him this Ash person is bad news."

You cursed, every gram of air taken from your kindling anger. "Yep. That sounds about right, too. What'd you do?"

"Mikasa had a 'friendly' conversation with him in which he was sent away with his tail tucked. Hasn't returned since. I asked them to get started on what repairs they could manage to pass the time, since this place has already been cleaned top to bottom. To be honest, I was bored myself." He held up a spool of wire too, and you let the tension finish bleeding away. Fury nosed you and you gratified his wordless request with another pat. "Ugh, I'm not good at any of this." You admitted suddenly, turning your back on them and paying attention to your horse. "Don't mind me. It's been a long, long, _long_ fucking day. Thank you, guys, for what you've done. None of that was expected."

Eld nodded thoughtfully at your peculiar response, and Jean returned to tinkering with his broken gear. You removed the loaded saddlebags from Fury's sides and tried to block out the commotion from outside. For the first time ever, that corral was packed tight with soldiers caring for their mounts; getting them fed, watered and rubbed down. Many trekked through on their way to the well, with a handful parked by it hauling up bucket after bucket, filling water skins and passing them around. Once Fury was unloaded, you moved on to take care of Zephyr in her stall. Sasha appeared when you were mostly done. "Hey, Haz. Can I call you Haz?"

"Sure. What's up?"  
"There's a lot of hungry people out there. We should start cooking." You raised your head from your work of combing the sweat and dust from Zephyr's shining silver coat. This activity had nearly been enough to drown the world out. a very soothing practice, focusing on brushing the horse and only that, not letting any other gremlins crawl in through either ear. You contemplated this brunette and her eager, wide-eyed self. "You're right. A lot of soldiers to feed." It didn't escape your notice that she said 'we'. You could cook for a small bunch like the other night, but not for this many people who were undoubtedly ravenous. What remained of the dried goods needed to be conserved. Again you had to ask yourself what you got into with these Scouts.

"Well...not in a position to refuse help, whether or not you're a guest." You assented at last, and set the brush aside. Zephyr shook her neck. "Thank you, girl. You did Mom proud." You said to the horse, and gave her side a brief rub before leaving and swinging the gate shut on her stall. "Actually Sasha, mind seeing if you can round up a friend or two to help? I'm headed to the kitchen to figure this out. We could use more hands." You picked through one of Fury’s saddle bags and extracted Tea Rose's spice sachets, leaving the remainder to be dealt with later.

"You got it!" She chirped and ran off, happy at the prospect of dinner. Eld shook his head with a soft laugh. "Hah, you've just made that girl very, very happy."

"Have I? Good, I guess. Off to the kitchen with me then." You tossed a sachet up in the air and caught it underhand, then exited the barn. Eld watched you go, and turned his face towards where he could see so many soldiers milling about. They were beginning to spill out of the corral with their packs, setting tents up in rows. These pre-expedition missions can take a turn for the worst--case in point--this was the one time it went horribly wrong. Eld was still trying to figure the whole thing out. He smiled broadly when Petra returned to him from helping a few soldiers set up their little tents. "Right where I left you." She chimed. "How's your knee?"

"Been better." He confessed. "Kept it up most of the afternoon. Can't wait to get home though."

"I feel that way too. This farm is too small for so many of us." She said ruefully, twisting to take in the scene. Eld followed her gaze. "Right. So much for keeping the appearance of drifters. She can't ask everyone to go without their jackets and cloaks when they need to sleep outside." 

"True." The ginger sighed. "There's not as many as we hoped. And we never found the carts. Unless we run across them on the return trip."

"We might." Eld tried to comfort her. She appeared a bit more upset than he expected her to be. "Look, we'll get through this. We always have." He reassured her, and together they watched Sasha bounce into the house with Eren, Armin and Mikasa in tow. Connie said something abysmally stupid, made Levi cross with him, and was now on shit-shoveling duty with a handful of others. Armin escaped this fate, having been volunteered by Eren along with Mikasa for kitchen duty. Sasha was pleased. Armin's big blue boulder eyes soaked everything in surrounding him, including the kitchen. He noticed things the others didn't, or at least never remarked upon. "The craftsmanship on these is amazing!" He almost cooed, whereas you were more surprised that somebody noticed. On days when repairs were needed, you'd begun to instill your own personality into the house. The hinges on the cabinet doors spanned across their fronts, twisted like scrollwork vines, sculpted out into something almost fantastical. "Thank you." You accepted his compliment smoothly. "You made them yourself?" He asked. "The level of detail alone...are those thorns?"

"I get bored." You shrugged. 

"Jeez Armin, they're just hinges." Eren said, eyebrows furrowed. "Get a grip, huh?"

"But Eren, you don't understand what kind of skill goes into--"  
"Shut up and peel!" He stuffed a rinsed basket of potatoes into his blond friend's arms. "Hey hey, cool it would you? I don't mind listening to him."

"Of course you don't, he's talking about _you._" Eren snapped. You crossed your arms and drew your height up. "That's not the point. I may not be your superior, boy, but hold your tongue or I'll find a way to hold it _for_ you. Armin here was very worried about you and your friends when we found them, there's no reason to be abrupt with him just because you had to stay behind.”

He went quiet after that bop on the nose. Eren also decided, then, that as you aren't military, he didn't need to be _as_ respectful since they'd probably never see you again. He felt as though you misread the situation between old buddies. Armin was nonetheless feeling somewhat grateful. Eren could be a bit too harsh some days, whether or not that came from a place of love didn't necessarily matter. Their Shifter friend could be a bit much. When he didn't get to accompany the group for that rescue effort, he' d been sour the whole day, which was showing in his disposition since they returned. He was glad Armin and Connie were safe, but he didn't understand why an outsider had a place on the team whereas he, their titan shifter, did not. His temper got the better of him today. “I was worried too, y’know.” Eren muttered sullenly. You pretended not to hear. "I'm guessing stew is the best way to go about this?" You asked the room instead. Sasha perked up while Mikasa watched you warily, helping Armin peel potatoes. "Yeah! That feeds the most."

"Hmph, well then." You stooped down and dug about for more pots than the three from before. Levi was barely out of sight lingering in the hall, having heard every piece of that conversation. Reminded him of the days where young Mr. Yeager there was entirely too cocky and needed to be thrashed down a few pegs. Far as Levi was concerned, Eren could always use a hard lesson. He shadowed them here upon learning that Eren was to be on kitchen duty, just to be certain that nothing regrettable happened with a kitchen knife. Now he was pleased he listened to Erwin. Part of him being here also had to do with gauging your personality for their line of work. 

Levi was nevertheless dubious that you'd want to be inducted into the Scout Regiment. Speaking personally, he hadn't wanted to be part of them when he was in the underground beyond getting a job done. He wondered at your level of spirit; and if you would also be dragged in by the scruff the way he, Isabel and Furlan were. 

Ultimately Erwin pressed them into service, lo and behold: of the three, one is now Humanity's Strongest Soldier. He saw a great deal of that viciousness in you, the same kind bred into being inside the Mitras Underground. Military life never beat this out of him. He supposed it made sense that people managing to survive outside Maria might be wild as the untamed lands that shaped them, such as how the Underground turned people into thugs and murderers. He was more or less beginning to wonder if Erwin saw you as another challenge. Someone who could be useful, but nevertheless must first be broken in the way Levi himself had to be. Part of what did that had to do with losing his best friends. Perhaps that is an inexact parallel to begin with.

But this seemed like too much work to invest in one woman. Although to be fair, you were investing a lot of work in _them_, as he watched you carve through a giant purple-crimson hunk of what he heard you refer to as black bear meat. Perhaps that's how Smith thought he could repay you; by putting in the hours. 

"Captain?" Eren's voice asked. He regained control of his temper and returned to his normal self, having quickly sulked off his reprimand. "Something wrong? You were staring."

"Making sure you didn't cut your idiot self with a knife." Levi stated bluntly. Eren almost flushed at the implication. "I'm fine, Captain. I'll be careful."

"See that you are." Levi saw no real reason to stick around, but he lingered a bit longer anyway. You turned with raised eyebrows in his direction, hands stained with bear blood. "I thought you were zoned out." You remarked blandly. "Oh and Levi..."

"Hm?"  
"I'm given to understand that you're the one who had our friends here cleaning. Thank you very much for that."  
"Don't mention it. Besides, I can't stay in a filthy fucking barn." He pushed off from the wall and vanished into the hall. Your eyebrow twitched and Sasha laughed when she thought he was gone, but stopped out of earshot upon hearing the brunette begin a daring song. "Levi and Haz, sittin' in a tree~"

"That better end with, 'tying a noose for Sasha who thinks she's hilarious'." He heard your voice grate out. Sasha moved her cutting board to the opposite side of Mikasa, sat down, and resumed her childish song. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G~"

"Wow. You really are mean." Eren voiced, but he meant to make it sound like a joke. As did you, come to that. You tilted your head at him. "What? I was kidding." He was, maybe.

"Me too. Kinda." You ignored Sasha's singing voice. Mikasa elbowed her while Armin brought over peeled diced potatoes. "Thank you, Armin."

"You're very welcome." He responded warmly. "So uh, are you coming back with us? When we're ready?"

"I’m planning to ride along until you reach familiar ground. But I have no intentions of joining up if that's what you're getting at. This is the only home I’ve known.” Armin nodded. He could understand your logic. Sasha got a bit quieter after that. She liked you and all the meat you provided, Armin took notice and Mikasa more or less agreed. "You'd fit in." Mikasa said softly. You shook your head. "I'm not Scout material. But I'm here if anyone else gets lost. This is my life, and the military is yours. Besides, who'll rescue your sorry freeloader asses next time if I _did_ go along?"

Eren was fast to head that notion off. "No offense, but we're definitely not letting this happen again." You approved of his positivity. "As you should. Also no offense, pleasant as you all are...it's probably best if we never see one another again."

"Aw. Are you breaking up with us?" Levi mocked from his spot in the hall, coincidentally making Sasha turn bleach white. "Here I thought we had something special."

"Fuck off, Cap’n Shortcake.”

_ **A Couple Hours Later...** _

Stew was served, though you didn't have a large number of pots where you could make enough for everybody in one shot. Basically, people ate in shifts, the pots were washed in between, another batch would be made, and so it went. Once everything was bubbling for the second batch; Sasha took over under Mikasa, Eren and Armin's watch. You washed your hands and checked outside to see how badly this invasion of Scouts took root, only to find that they situated themselves quite nicely. Three tidy rows of tents sprang up outside the corral, and the ones who ate first were on guard duty. You took none of the stew for yourself except to taste a spoonful, being sure to get some bear meat and potato, and complimented Sasha for how nicely she seasoned the mixture. She glowed at this praise.

The bulk of your own meal would take place upstairs, where you had bread and fruit stashed, and some soft cheese wrapped in cloth. Your drink would be the clear rotgut from before. 

Yes, that's right: you, the host, decided to shirk on your duties and get drunk alone. Fuck em’. Frankly these people are overwhelming, and you were trying your hardest not to worry about so many things you never _had_ to worry about until now. When Eld informed you of Ash’s visitation, you concealed your concern handily. There wasn’t much sense in upsetting the man. Eld didn’t know that from now on, there was going to be another veiled threat to contend with. That bastard Ash never let things go. Fantastic. He would make you pay however he was able. Of all the days he chose to infiltrate your property uninvited while you were out, he decided to slime his way into the forge while there’s a _highly fucking trained band of titan killers_ on watch. One of whom is even a titan, but we don’t talk about that. ‘We’ are too busy pretending that one emerald-eyed teen didn’t come off the battlefield steaming like a lobster.

So yes. You were going to get hammered, escaping from your flurry of houseguests to bathe and change. After which you still didn’t feel the need to socialize with them and opted to eat and sip and take a chance for your head empty out of scorching thoughts by reading awhile. You weren’t expecting anyone to invade your privacy for the bathroom; out back was a barrel filled with water that soldiers were using to wipe away extra grime, and the senior officers were continuing to use the downstairs bathroom. Erwin quietly told them that the upstairs was going to be off limits as a courtesy and a way for you to escape to privacy, he could tell your nerves were frayed as this evening progressed and decided this was best. That demand didn’t prevent Levi from using your personal bathroom, which had a better setup in terms of a makeshift shower fed by a rainwater cistern. Your engineer father rigged this so that the water from the mill would be used as a secondary means. The only way this worked was by flipping an exterior valve when the cistern was empty. With so much rain, this wasn’t necessary today.

Levi’s thought process went as follows: the upstairs hasn’t been used as frequently and is therefore cleaner. He made sure both bathrooms were scrubbed to perfection when you were away this morning with Reiner, Berthold and Jean. The first floor was used a lot since then. Levi was now able to detach himself from the hard work of babysitting their resident Shifter when Eren settled down on his bedroll for the night, amid a cluster of his pals.  
This is when the Captain availed himself of the upstairs bathroom, pack slung over his shoulder. He had to walk through your room to reach it, and as he stepped in saw that you were lounging on your side bathed in candle light, nestled into a comfortable spread of furs. You tossed an apple up and down absentmindedly, reading a very old book close to the source of light at your bedside. You put the apple down, noticing this man standing there, harnessed and coated in a sheen of sweat from today’s work. “Hey.” You managed, voice slightly husky from the alcohol. He watched you as you watched him, fingers poised in between pages as a bookmark. 

Levi said nothing. You couldn’t see his eyes with how the shadows slanted, but he was studying you. Perhaps not so innocently. He could smell the acerbically strong tang of liquor in the air and guessed that you were drunk or close to being so. Your legs were currently bare in the privacy of your room, having failed to expect anybody to come upstairs in your haze. You were wearing a tunic that landed at the hip. Long, bare legs on fur in a pool of warm light turned out to be the most inviting damn thing he’d seen in over a year. Levi Ackermann, whatever he can be accused of, is still a red-blooded man. And were he a lesser one, he’d throw his pack down and have his way.

He watched your half-nude body swing over the edge of the bed and padded barefoot over to him to twine your fingers around his harness, pulling him a modicum closer. “Need help getting out of this?” You asked, face partially cast in shadow. He could see a faint glint where your eyes locked into his. “I buckled you in pretty _fucking_ tight.” Voice lower and lower. As though sharing a secret. He was allowing himself to be hypnotized. To be off guard for once. He could feel your fingers manipulating a belt without permission, then another, and another. Making fast work of it. Soon the whole harness hung loose, threatening to slide off his shoulders and pool around his boots. 

One last belt—you leaned forward, pushing your chest roughly against his, chin over his shoulder, lips by his ear, arms about his center. His pack was hanging by his side at loosening fingertips. He wasn’t aware of when that happened. How was he feeling so…_helpless?_ That isn’t a thing. Levi Ackermann is **not** helpless.

And yet…when he felt the snap, leather slithering through rings, his back couldn’t relax, each muscle cinched taut as though prepared to pounce. This was a tease. A horrible, sickening tease that he wanted very badly to give in to. Who would know? Swing the door shut. Would you scream? He wanted to hear it. Oh _fuck_ YES. He wanted that scream very much. He wanted to feel it echoing out of your mouth and into his own. He wanted to swallow it whole. He wanted to violate you right then.

He wanted to, and he didn’t.

Levi returned from his rigid state, which you may or may not have noticed when one of your hands unfastened the belts by his thighs. How tight his pants got! “There you go.” You whispered by his ear, alcoholic breath singing him. His teeth clamped together. Levi slid a hand through your slightly damp hair, twining around gently for a second, then grasped tight and wrenched you down, forehead to forehead. Your eyes widened. He could feel the low, feral growl bubble out of your unbound chest through thin material. “Do that again, and you’ll wish to fuck hadn’t.” He breathed coldly at point blank range, eyes steely glints against your own. To his shock you reached behind him and grabbed his hair as well, wrapping digits tight in raven black. One of his eyes twitched. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean, Shortcake. Now go shower. You stink.”

“Tch, says the disgusting bitch who reeks like a brewery.” He snarled back, timbre low and thick, and you both disengaged from one another’s hair. Levi snatched up his pack and vanished, door swinging shut behind. You couldn’t help but stumble to bed and laugh, threw your head back, and succumbed to gravity. The furs cushioned your descent with a wooden creak beneath.

One wall over, Levi was inside the bathroom with a single candle lit, hating himself. Why’d he let you get to him? There was something about what he saw when he stepped in at first. Something so pure and clean about a woman simply relaxing after her shower, invitingly or not, he didn’t care. If there wasn’t that dreaded bottle open, he would have been able to absorb that perfect herbal scent of handmade soap permeating the air, as it did in here with this door shut behind his back. That sculpted body…if it weren’t for the shadows between pools of candlelight, he would’ve been able to tell if you were wearing anything whatsoever beneath that damn tunic. But given that your breasts were unfettered beneath, he had this feeling that the answer is ‘no’. Why shouldn’t you wear what you want in the sanctity of your own boudoir? 

His mouth was dry. Calloused hands grasped either side of the sink. He pressed his weight over it on the heels of either hand, staring at his own reflection in a faded mirror. Mirror-Levi watched back, judging him with eyes of blue steel. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, man with a title he never wanted, former criminal turned savior: reduced to an agitated, horny mess by one woman he barely knew. It was as his own reflection held his gaze that Levi started realizing why you took control over him so easily. He hasn’t run into a single woman who wasn’t intimidated by him. You took him by surprise, he was used to being feared and revered. Not to mention there’s Petra, sweet little titan murderer who was scaring potential lovers off. She’d probably suck him off any day if he asked, though he never had. Why? Because she was too easy to have. Too _available._ Too ready to please. Occasionally he wondered if he was misreading her, letting what others believed color his view. 

But you were toying with him because you could. Because he didn’t assert himself, and truthfully, he still wasn’t thinking he did so sufficiently. There’s always room for improvement. Though you’d be lost to them after they went home. _’Idiot. Wake the hell up.’_ He told himself, stripping off his boots. With the harness loosened and his pants tight, Levi was about to have a suspiciously long shower.

Before they left, he’d need to figure out a way to put you in your place. Right after he figured out where he wanted that place to be.


	6. Evens & Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What're the odds of getting even?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Hello to all, hope you’re staying happy and healthy or at least somewhat sane during this whole quarantine madness!!! Anyway…allow me to help with the escapism element. <3  
Sorry if this one is a bit shorter. I felt like I had a natural stopping point for this chapter.  
Thanks and much love to those still reading. <3 ^^

Evens & Odds

It was a little funny to you how everybody was simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable on your property. You never held an aversion to making others squirm, though in this case it had nothing to do with you. On a more personal level however, ever since that peculiar run-in with Levi three nights ago, things should’ve been _much_ more strained. Instead he continued the way he always does, and you did the same.  
During these past three days more trade had to be conducted to feed everyone and that included you cutting a deal with two of the hunters whose ‘territory’ were on either side of your land. There was an honor system: they got to hunt on your property, but you were able to purchase from them for a cut rate on anything they caught. One of those is Redwood, the other being a recluse called Gimp. Redwood agreed to take Sasha along for hunting, and whatever she caught or helped to catch would be brought back. This also meant you were going to owe a favor or so later. Armin took note of it and wondered aloud to the others about what this meant for you.  
“Why’s she incurring debt for people she has no plans on keeping around?” Jean asked shrewdly after their canny friend pointed it out. Armin held up his hands. “I was hoping you guys had some insight. I really don’t know.”  
“We’ve only known her a day longer than you have.” Jean pointed out. “We’re strangers to her and she’s just as much of a mystery to us.”  
_“I_ don’t think of her as a stranger anymore.” Mikasa said in her usual softer tone. Her lack of tension was comforting to the others, her fine-tuned instincts were like a living threat gauge. Kind of reminiscent of a cat. She’d have her back up the second she intuited danger. “Strangers don’t do what she did for us.”  
“_With_ us. The Commander and Levi Squad went out there to take care of business. Y’think the others would’ve followed some random wild woman back here? I doubt it.””  
“You’re being a little unfair Jean.” Arlert turned back to Mikasa. “Well we can’t sit here and do nothing but help make dinner, that’s all _we’ve_ done.”

“What’re you talking about?” Jean grunted. “I’ve been working on the ODMG. And you’ve been looking over the maps along with the Commander. Sasha is hunting with that Redwood chick, they brought in two deer and a bag full of rabbits and quail this morning. That’s not nothing.”  
“I suppose.” Armin assented a little nervously. “I guess I feel like I’m the one doing nothing then.”  
“S’cuz you can’t swing a hammer.” Your voice intervened and you walked by in your smithing apron, looking as worse for wear as everybody else around here. “The majority of the work that needs doing isn’t what you are cut out for. I’ve been told your talents aren’t in raw labor.”  
“You heard that, huh?” Eren asked from his bedroll. He watched you rifle around in a storage box at the back of the stable for extra leather. “Is there anything I can do? I’m sitting here doing nothing.” _‘I have no right to do nothing while everybody else is trying so hard to get us home.’_ He didn’t say it, but he was willing you to understand without further urging. He knew damn well that one of the higher-ups said he needs to focus on light work to conserve his energy with the notable exception of Levi. That jerk would’ve kept him on cleaning patrol if it weren’t for Erwin putting a stop to it. ‘We need Eren to be fully recovered for the return’, was what Commander Smith said. And his word is law in the Scouts, so that was that.  
Eren’s hopes were not telepathic, but you didn’t answer for a long minute as it’s hard now to refuse assistance. He _could_ help but…what was it Erwin said? He warned that you were better off knowing less about Eren if you didn’t already understand his situation, and also to avoid inviting him into situations where he could injure himself. You continued with the theme of not talking about the titan in the room. “Sorry. I have more volunteers than jobs right now. Unless you want to spare a moment to help carry some things back, that’s up to you.”

Eren brightened. It was better than sitting on his ass. He popped up to collect the crate you pointed to, shouldering one of your own. “Ergh!! What’s IN this thing!?”

“Spare parts I had no room for in the shop. Lift with your knees, not your back. Sure you can do this?”

“Are you serious?! I could carry these allll day if I…uh…if I…” He caught Mikasa, Jean and Armin’s expressions. “…uh…”

“If you were in titan form?” You supplied helpfully while striding past. Eren went as pale as his friends did. “You…you know?”

“_Oh_ yeah. You aren’t the first Titan Shifter to wander into Vanaheim. But around here, Titan Shifters are hated more than the top brass in your military. No offense. You seem well enough able to keep it buttoned up fortunately. Others with the same abilities and none of the same control are part of why we’re not fond of newcomers in this town.” You didn’t stop to talk. You continued to carry your burden out to the shop. Eren, Jean, Mikasa and Armin exchanged looks and darted after you, with Eren lugging his crate. “Wait!!! You can’t say something like that and walk away!!!” Jean shouted, hobbling a little. His ankle wasn’t 100%.  
“Sure I can, see me doing it?” Armin caught up and stopped in front of you to demand that this conversation be given its due. You sighed, shifting the weight against your shoulder. The hard edge of your crate pressed uncomfortably against bone. “You don’t understand.” The blond began nervously, glancing up to the roof where Levi and Erwin were now perched, their interest piqued by Jean’s outburst. They’d been patrolling and planning a lot for the past few days, sitting up on any kind of high rise while talking meant they could do two things at once, but usually they were atop the barn where they had a good view. Miche was off on the spire, Hange was keeping the rank-and-file in line.  
“Eren’s the only Shifter we’ve ever met, and you’re saying there’s been others?”

“I’m quite sure I didn’t stutter.” You said flatly. “Wanna move?” You were oblivious to Eren’s reaction behind you. He was saucer eyed, trembling and silent, with Mikasa paused beside him and watching him with her typical expression of concern.  
“How many?” A deep voice from above. You craned your head against the side of the box to look awkwardly up at Erwin’s shape. “Different person every time. A few guys, once there was a girl, lead by some bearded man with glasses and an attitude. Turned into this monkey-like thing, picked up a 3-meter asshole, and threw it clear across the desert like it was a ball.” You maneuvered around Armin and continued towards the forge, hoping this was enough to make them happy. 

It was not. You should’ve known better.  
The sound of cord on reels reached your ears, and Erwin was now standing beside the forge. You grumbled to yourself. He heard and ignored it. “I would like to hear more about these people.” He said, glancing up when Eren came huffing and puffing over with the heavy box. You pointed out a spot for him to plant it and glanced up at the few soldiers who volunteered to help. “You guys have been at this for hours, why don’t you take a water break?”  
The water was reason enough for them to listen and go, but your expression and Erwin’s presence made them hasten out on the double. You heard the distinctive sound of your personal ODMG (Levi was still borrowing) release anchors by the door. The Captain stepped inside to hear this himself.

“I’m not sure what else you think I know, Erwin.” You said. “You certainly know more about Titans than I do.”  
“Everything we know about Shifters comes from our experiences with Eren here.” Erwin said, turning his face towards the teen. Eren was still pale and almost quaking in place. You got the impression he was about to explode. “Even with that it isn’t much.”

“Pretty simple don’t you think? Titans are a lot like rats. If you find one, there’s more where that come from. Why wouldn’t it be the same with Shifters?”  
“Because in our experience it’s not.” Armin said. “Eren’s the only one we’ve encountered.”

You shook your head again. “Here’s what I know: they wander over from across the desert mostly, but the amount coming in from the woods in the past five years or so is at an all-time high, starting with a particular incident. Word is that a sentry saw this very small hunched-over titan with big pointed teeth pop out of the sand and gulp a guy down, the people camping with him scattered, and next thing…this weird titan changed into a dark haired girl, buck ass naked and moon-gazing. She passed through the edge of town, swiped clothes off a line and disappeared.”

“And the other?”

“A guy calling himself Zeke. That’s the blond bearded man with glasses, showed up with a little group and they settled down inside the abandoned church. People started going missing while they were here. None of those guys ‘smelled right’ as your Miche would put it.” Air quotes. “They were in town a few months, I didn't interact with them much personally. What I know is that whenever somebody vanished out of thin air, these newcomers were found nearby with a dead titan. At first it was excusable, but the whole town started to take wise after a few reports that they were doing some impossible and very inhuman things like changing shape and healing wounds that should take weeks if not months. A tall kid had a shattered arm from who-knows-what, I _swear_ I saw him behind the church lifting a bale of hay end of that week. But he had the cloth sling stuffed in his pocket, Zeke came out and got up in his face, he put that thing right back on and pretended nothing was wrong." You let this sink in, watching their faces. Armin wordlessly urged you to continue. You resisted the need to shake your head again at this insistence to hear about the past for what good it would do. "Other than that incident I did see these people change same as the few others. But there weren't enough eye witnesses to prove it. Too few believed what they heard from us. Only thing that really stuck was the disappearances. Nobody wanted to be next, and these new people were the only new factor. None could agree on how to deal with them if they should be dealt with to begin with, ultimately more were in favor of exile versus a death sentence. We got the drop on them one night, a good crack on the head and some drugs kept them out in human form while we hauled them out to middle of nowhere. There was an abandoned town not far off from where they were dropped off. Unless you know how to make your way back, you’re going to be lost trying." You held your hands up and dropped them. "Never heard from them again.”

“When did this whole thing happen?” Eren managed to find his voice and was otherwise completely agape. You thought on it. “Uh…hmmm, good question. Years ago? As in before your Wall Maria fell, _years_, my family was still around. I haven’t seen another Shifter since until Eren here. Didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so I didn’t say anything, I figured it would’ve been unnecessary to bother if he can control himself. Which it turns out, he can.” Everybody looked at Eren. “It’s nothing personal, Eren. You seem like a nice enough sort. They had the sound of a cult to them. You have your own thoughts about you. Those guys were brainwashed.”

“It’s…it’s okay. I understand.” No, it wasn’t. It was not okay. He preferred to think of you as another human who didn’t know. “I _doubt_ that it’s okay. This is a lot for you to square with.” You said flatly, and opened the box that he brought in. “Does this conclude the Q and A portion of our day, everyone?”  
“Yes. Thank you.” Erwin said, and glanced at the silent Captain Levi. They left the forge together to talk about what they’ve learned. 

On the other side of the wall below a window that was cracked open for air, Reiner and Berthold exchanged troubled glances and slid away to not be caught eavesdropping. Levi stopped and looked over his shoulder for a moment. There was a faint trace of loose dirt drifting in the air by the corner of the forge. He decided to let it go and caught up to Erwin. “I had a feeling she must have known something.” The Commander voiced to him, touching his chin thoughtfully. “A normal person would have inquired after why Eren’s injuries give off steam. It’s too unusual to disregard.”

“It was agreed that we weren’t going to bring it up if it was unnecessary. If she was going to make a big deal out of it, she would have by now.” Levi said, sounding bored. “Hange will need to know what we learned. This could explain Shiganshina. The Colossal disappeared every time we’ve seen it, so it makes sense that he could be a Shifter like Yeager.”  
“….Yes. I was thinking about that too.” Erwin was hesitant to bring Shiganshina up too close to those three. Eren, Armin and Mikasa suffered through it. That was a trauma which would never fully heal. “What’s more, this ‘Zeke’ person is undoubtedly out there. If one Shifter got inside the walls, others may have.” They went into the house and found Eld chatting with Hange, who was happily babbling his ear off about one of her experiments. “Hange.”  
“Ohhh, hey there! Is it my turn?” Her bespectacled gaze fell on the sets of ODMG at Erwin and Levi’s waists. “Not yet.” Levi said. “There’s something you need to hear first.”

_Back Outside…_

“What the hell are we going to do?” Bertolt asked Reiner, wringing his large hands. “I thought she looked familiar. What if she remembers us?”  
“It's fine. If she was going to remember, she would have by now. And don't think I forgot that hay bale thing, Zeke was steamed over it. Relax. We're not in any danger.” Reiner tried to tell both of them but came off as though he was scolding his companion instead. Bertolt’s large brown eyes weren’t focused on him. He was staring back the way they came. For now, they kept up appearances of going to pick up some water from the well. No one was near it, it felt safe enough. Though Bertolt was now feeling less safe than ever. “We risked everything to go into town and try to get into the church. We never had a chance. Zeke’s going to be furious.”  
“Look, what Zeke doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We pretend this never happened. We kept low most of the time we were there, it’s fine. Nobody recognized us. Besides, did you see how many new faces there were?”  
“It’s too important to lie to him about Reiner, he’s been trying to find Vanaheim ever since they pushed us _out_. “  
The blond went still and silent. He remembered being clocked quite hard over the head as he was trying to fall asleep on his bedroll and waking up with the others in a field behind a little township gone completely to shambles. They were all too disoriented to make sense of much else but ‘up’ and ‘down’. Having been left with nothing but a box of water skins and a sack of dried food that wasn’t going to be enough for the whole group, Zeke was frothing mad, but then so was the whole gang. Reiner and Bertolt themselves had a few small belongings from home that they hadn’t seen since. “What’re the odds they found anything down there?” Reiner asked Bertolt finally. The other tilted his head. “I…I don’t know. Zeke never told anybody where he hid them.” He averted his somber stare down the well’s depths. “These people live by scavenging. They probably picked the church clean after.”

“…”  
“…..”  
“That’s it.” Reiner unfolded his brawny arms. “We have to give it a shot. When everyone’s asleep, you and I are going down to that church.”  
“Tonight?”  
“Tonight.”

_Back Inside…_

Hange wasn’t silent for long after the repeat of your tale. “You said they were pushed out of Vanaheim without warning, right?” She asked a little slowly. They nodded. “Then if this Zeke man was up to something chances are he would keep it hidden.”  
“You know these people would’ve raided their supplies.” Eld said. “It’s been years.”  
“Yes yes, but churches are full of hidey holes! What if he used one of them and nobody found it? We’re stuck here, it can’t hurt to look!”

“Hange people probably live there now, we can’t just walk up and say ‘hey, do you mind if we you go through your house, maybe break a few things?”  
“Ohhh Eld, where’s your sense of adventure?!”  
“Out in the field where it belongs.” He shook his head at her. “Commander, what else do you suppose she knows about these things? She’s not been very forthcoming. Not that I blame her. I don’t think I would be either.”

“Can always trick her into talking, she liiiiikes you.” Hange winked at Erwin, who raised one of his bold eyebrows. “Hange. That’s hardly appropriate.”  
“Oh, COME ON don’t be a prude! It’s amazing what you’ll get out of a woman if you give her a little sugar, y’know?! Don’t pretend it won’t be fuuun~”  
“Tch…then why don’t _you_ go screw with her if you’re so keen on it, Four-eyes?”  
“Oh!! Or Levi could do it.” She gave an exaggerated wink all over again. The Captain cocked his head where he was leaning against the wall. “I don’t seduce people for information, Four-Eyes.”

Eld was really quite entertained by this. He chuckled while shifting his leg so his knee was at a more comfortable angle. “I’d offer to take the bullet, but I can count the number of times we’ve talked on one hand. She’s not my type. I’m probably not hers, either.” He regretted it. Hange pinched his cheek and cooed that lots of girls fantasize about him, which made him uncomfortable. Erwin was mysteriously quiet during their mini-squabble and Levi noticed. “Hey if you want that filthy soot-covered bitch to yourself, have at her.” Erwin looked at him. For a second, he appeared owlish. That expression was gone straight away. “It’s unnecessary to entrap a woman who’s gone through so much on our behalf. But Hange does have a point, rather than simply demanding information it wouldn’t hurt to coax it out of her.”

“Just don’t be sleazy about it then.” Poor Eld was trying to wrestle Hange away. She kept leaning weight on his bad leg, and he was becoming tempted to pull a knife on her. But the second he uttered the word ‘sleazy’ he regretted it. No one reacted to this negatively, but he also knew that Erwin Smith isn’t capable of being disgusting in that way. Cruel and decisive, yes, but not slimy. Ordinarily one would figure Levi comes closer to that, but he doesn’t either. Countless other captains have been found taking advantage of subordinates, but nobody in this room was counted among them. Unless Hange could be considered creepy for her experiments.  
“It’s settled then!!!!” Hange declared, enthused as ever. “BOTH of you can sneak extra info outta her! It’s the only choice we got anyway, we’re not exactly welcome in town.” She adjusted her glasses, becoming quite serious. “Didn’t you guys notice? That girl with the basket turned right around and scrammed a couple days ago, nobody’s come down this way since.” Eld sighed. Levi didn’t react except to seem more bored, but Erwin shook his head a little in a way she took to mean ‘so sad’. He wasn’t oblivious to what that could be symptomatic of: their presence might’ve turned you into a complete outcast. Since you are now seen working with the very military who so many deserted, you were going to be a traitor among traitors. If there was a way out of that, he did not know short of offering again for you to return with them. 

He doubted you’d agree.

_Time Passes. Later That Evening…_

Dinner was made and picked up after and you went off on your own with the light set of ODMG. Your arms were sorer than you’d ever felt, and your body seemed like it was whining as you buckled into the harness. But you were finally sailing away between trees for the hell of it. No one got a chance to ask, but Oluo saw you taking off from where he was posted. He thought about following to make sure you weren’t getting up to no good. But then there was no sense in that. You’re armed and capable. You also didn’t put up with his very (very) few advances so he didn’t feel so keen on helping. Can’t blame a guy for trying, yeah? He was more interested in Petra but was never above playing the field considering their hard and fast lifestyle in Levi Squad. Some day he may be laying in a puddle of his own intestines regretting that he didn’t get his dick wet when he had the chance.  
This evening brought the worst bite in the air yet. It made your sore muscles much angrier than expected. The straps were cinched a little too hard in your haste to leave, you felt the ODMG yanking against them unforgivingly with every anchor and pull forth through the air, dodging solid objects. The breeze rocketing past was so sharp and cold it became bracing. You thought you saw a titan up ahead, but it turned out to be nothing. You landed against the side of a tree and held fast, staring out at the valley unfurling ahead. A few titans were visible out there, plain to see with nothing concealing them as they lumbered through hip-high prairie grass. It was almost ready to be cut down and dried for hay.

You weren’t focusing on that. Instead you flung away and back the way you came. The ache thudded in your upper body like a second heartbeat. You were relieved to get out, but you were even more so to get back. When you landed by the corral, Mikasa was there pouring water into a trough one last time for the night. She wasn’t startled at your appearance. “Oh, hello.” She said, watching you slip fingers beneath a strap and loosen it awkwardly. You smiled tersely at the quiet teen. “Hey there.” You loosened another belt enough, so it didn’t cut back into old toughened scars. Mikasa put the emptied bucket down and watched you, hands atop the corral fence. “It’s a good night for a run.”

“I thought so too.” You agreed gruffly. “Guess I wasn’t as into it as I wanted to be.”

Watching you, she figured why but didn’t call you out on it. You were trying not to complain. She sympathized with that. “Listen uh…Mikasa, right?”

She nodded.

“Eld told me you had a run-in with Ash. Thanks for scaring him off.”  
“It was nothing. You’re welcome.”  
“I disagree that it was ‘nothing’, but let’s not get into that. I’m heading inside.” You felt awkward talking to her. She was kind of an unsettling girl in her way, only that she was so often brooding and very attached to Yeager. You picked up on that fast. “Good night.”

“Yes, good night.”

When you went upstairs you were faced with Levi sitting on the edge of your bed, re-lacing a boot. His hair was damp, and the air smelled faintly of soap and humidity. He probably boiled some hot water for himself to wash with. The candles were lit on your bedside table and dresser. You cocked a brow at him and began unhitching your ODMG from your lower back and sides. “Feel better?” You asked him. This was the first time you were both alone since…well…_last time_. Roles appeared to be reversed. Except with the notable absence of alcohol. Levi wasn’t sure when you’d come up for the night, so he thought he’d get cleaned up sooner rather than later once his own tasks were complete. “As well as I can be out here.” The captain said. You noticed he wasn’t sounding as harsh as usual.  
Clank, clink, clunk. You set the two scabbards down and the movement components atop them along the wall where you couldn’t possibly trip over them. This left the straps, many of which were still too tight. Levi’s steely gaze drifted over your person, noting your current state. He could see that you were tense, overworked and likely too exhausted to cause him much stress. He liked that. This meant he could get you back. You rapidly became so distracted that you didn't register what was happening until it was, in fact, happening: this sensation of somebody grasping the width of a belt and snapping it loose of its rings. On instinct you wheeled with an elbow angled towards his stomach, but he was much quicker in sidestepping and catching your wrist. “It’s me. Relax.” He felt the tension in your arm slacken, and let go. You turned your head away and felt him pluck another buckle open with nimble fingers. His nose wrinkled at the layers of coal dust on your clothes, rubbing off on worn leather straps.  


Getting back at you was a great plan on paper. He could only make himself do so much when you were a bit dirty from the day’s work. Oh well. He could wash his hands. “Disgusting.” This term slipped out as though it were a sour taste on his tongue. Your own mouth twisted. “Thanks for noticing.” You sneered, watching him while fussing with an ill-attached buckle. Really, you were a disaster from being in such a hurry. It was lucky your shoddy harnessing job didn’t get you killed for fifteen minutes of freedom. It wound up not being worth the trouble, and now, here we are in a similar situation.  


Then came the sensation of digits pressing down between your thighs, carefully loosening one belt then the next where they were lashed tight. You did your very best not to react, same as he did before. His eyes were on yours. You watched back into their depths, keeping your body still and unresponsive. But he did note that you stopped trying to undo your own harness now. He became smug as a result. Good. You _should_ give in. 

Levi Ackermann is never to be outdone. He would accidentally on purpose graze as many erogenous zones as he could without being obvious while undoing the tougher spots. Your harness wasn’t the same as theirs. He purposefully took longer on those parts, as though he didn’t already know how to negotiate through every ring. He walked around to your back again to address the last part where the straps adjoin to the steel plate, dragging his fingertips almost delicately against your side as he moved. You were lucky not to give him the shudder he nearly produced. Too bad he already knew it was there.  
The last part came free. You didn’t recall torturing him this much before, and words finally tumbled out. “Wow. I think this is the slowest I’ve seen you move, I don't recall taking my time before.” He held the harness out by one ring upon a hooked index finger and you took it from him, suspicious he might try something further. Levi narrowed those gunmetal eyes at you, amused that you'd remark on how long this took. “Is that what you want to say to me right now?” He asked, and you were sure that you detected that smug, taunting overtone.  


“I’m not exactly gasping your name.” You intentionally left that L-shaped noun out of it. You weren’t sure if it helped prove the point as there was something dark in his expression right then. “If I wanted it you would be.” 

And he left the room, simple as that. You watched him leave shamelessly. Was he always this sexy, or was it just a 'right now' thing?  
“Fine then. We’re even.”


	7. What Time Was Bought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get out of hand. It's not possible to control every single factor, especially when two of those are Titan Shifters with a job to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Hey everybody, one particular reviewer (you know you are) reminded me that maybe this should be said…it’s insane out there right now, please be safe. I have no right to ask this but if you think for an instant it’s not okay to leave your home, don’t. Follow your instincts. They exist to keep you safe.  
Be well!!! If anything I write in here seems tone deaf, that's not my intention, please know this.
> 
> *** I want to remind everybody reading this that I don’t read the manga, I only hear rumors about how bad things get later on. This is a ‘what if’ story, where I keep some canon and diverge from it at various points, creating what’ll become a span of events that won’t be so diverged you don’t recognize them, all it means is we’re taking a different path to get to those landmark events.  
BTW: the long green cloth loops in the barn loft were eventually going to have your character doing some aerial yoga. I decided against it. xD’

What Time Was Bought

The work felt endless in the moment. You stopped questioning why you were doing this—sure as shit was not because Erwin fixed those azure halcyon eyes on you and smiled. Time was, you wouldn’t be around a man that handsome without doing something about it. These were no longer those days.

At any rate, the Scouts weren’t expecting any sort of quality in your craftsmanship with the volume of work, but that’s what they got: solid work. You do a thing right or not at all. The last of the actual gear was done, with a handful of volunteers in the background handling what remained of assembly. You were hammering swords and another was sharpening and polishing them so they would slide in and out of a scabbard seamlessly. 

“Too bad we can’t keep her.” Hange voiced to Moblit and Miche, where they were taking their turn up on a sentry spire. She was staring down at the forge. They could only hear tiny, sharp ‘tink! Ting!’ noises at this height.  
Since anyone on watch rotated from one spire to the next they were currently hanging out together since there were no titans spotted nearby since last night. Hange was swinging her legs over the edge. Moblit paced by Miche, who had his nose in the wind. “She fixed that catch on my left anchor. I’m glad I won’t need to worry about it on our way back.” Berner voiced, looking down. “If our supply carts didn’t run off I could’ve fixed it myself.”  
“Yeah speaking of which, I wonder where those guys got off to with the wagons?” Hange asked. She was very bored here with nothing to capture or kill. Forest all around, and they could see part of the valley from here. With more people to get things done, they even managed to patch up an old wooden wagon you never got around to and it became their supply cache. Nothing from it was to be touched until they were on their way home. It was parked behind the barn. “We’ve been gone way longer than expected. There’s going to be questions when we return. What do you think Commander Erwin will tell them?”

“That we got lost.” Miche’s baritone voice half-suggested. “It sounds bad, but it's the truth. He'll figure out a way to spin it.”  
“But we found life outside the walls. That’s got to count for something.”

Neither Section Commander knew how to answer that. It would be left up to Erwin to tell them what to say, since it was likely there would be multiple inquiries. Especially when so many of the deserters of this town are part of the three military branches, but only some of them were any good at killing Titans. Those were the Scouts deserters, with a few ex-Garrison soldiers mixed in. According to Kirschstein there were lots of people sporting harnesses, but not all of them had gear. “I want to visit that church.” Hange said, lifting her head and looking back at Moblit and Miche.

“What?! Section Commander, we’re not supposed to—”  
“It’s a little peek! They won’t know I’m there!” She shoved off from the edge and free-fell several feet, clicked her anchors out and went zipping away with a grin. “I’ll get her. You stay on watch.” Miche ordered and followed quickly so as not to lose sight. Moblit was left holding a hand up after them, stammering and defeated. As usual.  
“Hange!” Miche shouted after her. She was ignoring him as she vanished between the trees and he cursed beneath his breath. When this woman gets it in her head to do something, she becomes way too stubborn. Their exodus overhead drew some funny looks from their comrades. “Where are they going in such a hurry?” Armin wondered aloud. He was spreading out some feed on a wooden palette above the dirt for the horses to eat with Eren’s help. “I dunno. That’s how you get to town, isn’t it?”  
“Yes but…I thought we weren’t supposed to visit there without permission.”  
“I think that was Section Commander Miche.” Eren shaded his eyes and watched after them, but they were long gone. Armin smacked some hay off his pants and front. “Mmmh, you’re right. It’s probably nothing. Come on Eren, I think we can pick up our gear today. If everything keeps going well, we're probably leaving soon.”

“Really?”  
“Yeah." Armin shrugged. "Or...I’m hoping so. I miss my bed.”  
“Yeah. Never thought I’d say it, but me too.” Eren missed his bed but did _not_ miss the cage. It was terrible to live in a prison cell, but that's the only way he could work with the Scouts. “I wonder if they’ll let us take a shift up there. Man, isn’t Mikasa coming back from hers yet? She went out last night and I didn’t see her this morning, did you?”

“Come to think of it, no, I didn't see her either. Wait,” Armin went still, squinting up at the sentry platforms. "Something’s not right. Reiner was supposed to be on that one over there, but I don’t see anybody. He’s been taking a guard rotation ever since he borrowed that gear. And the Section Commanders were both on watch too, but…excuse me.” He hurried off, leaving Eren to follow. “Armin!! Hey, what’re you talking about?!”  
“Not now Eren!” He huffed, skidding around a corner and nearly knocking into a soldier carrying buckets of water. “Sorry, sorry!!!” He cried out, and flung a door open. There was a study room you’d been letting them use. Your parents taught you how to read and write on the large table in there, it was easy to spread materials out on. Erwin was rolling up a map when they shoved through, with Armin slamming the side of his fist to his heart in a quick apology. “Commander, sir! I apologize for barging in!”  
“What is it, Cadet?”  
“People are missing from their posts, sir. Section Commanders Miche and Hange were seen heading into town, Mikasa is missing and Reiner hasn’t been at his post either.”

Erwin put the rolled map down and walked around the table. “Levi!” He called across them, heading in that direction. Ackermann was taking a tea break in the kitchen while talking with Eld. They both looked up when Erwin’s voice projected to them moments before he rounded the corner. “Have you seen Reiner Braun or Mikasa Ackermann today?”

“I haven't.” Levi said.  
“Come to think of it I haven’t either, nor that tall kid.” Eld mused. He saw Mikasa appear behind Eren. “They’re like you guys. Joined at the hip.” Mikasa however was looking disheveled. She had the appearance that she’d been through a scrape, and she was wearing her gear. There were shallow cuts, a few more serious ones, plenty of bruises. A few swords were missing from the scabbards, indicating they’d been broken. “Oy, where the hell have _you_ been? Report!" Levi, who was getting tense. People knew better than to run off like this in unfamiliar territory. When the cadets were trained, they went over that shit on day one. Regarding conduct during missions: page one, part one, section 1-A: don't FUCKING get stupid and run off without your team. If you do so, there better be a damn good reason. Well...paraphrasing, but mostly that's the book.  


Mikasa acknowledged them with her fist over her heart, looking winded and generally beaten up. "Commander Erwin, Captain Levi; I apologize for my absence. I went on lookout last night for Abrams since his shoulder hasn’t finished healing. Two hours after lights out I saw Reiner and Bertolt sneak into the forge and leave with gear. They went off towards Vanaheim, I followed to confront them. I was attacked, during the fight one of my lines was cut and I fell. I managed to slow my descent but hit my head and lost consciousness. I made it back just now...sir.” She didn’t look well at all. Mikasa is no slouch in the fighting department, even while a trainee she was pegged early on for becoming an elite. But Reiner was known to also be a good fighter, and Bertolt was in the top ten with them in the 104th Cadet Corps.  


“One...one more thing." She was really looking wobbly. Eren had turned to her by now and was sliding her arm over his shoulders so he could support her weight, putting an arm around her back also. "When I cut Reiner, I saw steam. I almost severed his left arm at the elbow.”

If Mikasa didn’t have everybody’s attention in the room before, she did now. Levi got up and left. Erwin watched her lean on Eren, who was concentrated on helping her to a chair that Eld pushed out from under the table. “Thank you Mikasa. You should get your injuries treated. Excuse me.” He left to follow Levi to make a few inquiries after his intentions, also knowing he may need to order the captain not to get homicidal on those two if he found them. Reiner and Bertolt are more helpful alive, if that meant hauling them back to Wall Rose in full restraints with a bit in their mouths, so be it. He would be at peace with that. He heard Armin's voice as he left.  
“I’ll help her.” The blond teen had volunteered. “I remember where Haz put the first aid stuff. I will be right back. Eren, can you start heating up some water?” Mikasa was beginning to remove her defunct gear with a little help from Eld, as she was in pretty bad shape from that fall and it was a miracle she got this far on her own. Eld, the one who was suspected to have a totally broken knee, was able to walk some since keeping it elevated. But not very quickly or without pain, for the mostpart he would sit across from Mikasa and continue debriefing her on the situation while Eren ran some water from the creaky old sink. “They steamed?” Eld asked her again. “You’re 100% positive?”

She nodded. Armin pattered back down the stairs with a couple rolls of linen gauze, a few clean rags and the small wooden tub of salve. Before he could bother to dip into it, Eld held up the bottle of rotgut you were always taking shots from. It lived on the kitchen counter. “Disinfect her wounds with a little of this.” He poured some in a short glass and slid it across. Armin accepted this, dipped the end of a rag, and began working on the deepest cuts. Most of them were lousy with dirt and congealed blood. She’d be lucky if she didn’t get a nasty infection. “Reiner is strong.” Mikasa told her friend. Armin nodded distractedly. "I know. But you're here now, let's forget about Reiner. You need to get patched up." Eld couldn't agree more. "Listen to your friend, cadet. You're fortunate you found your way back."

“But this was different." She told these men in the room. Eld and Eren focused on the intensity in her countenance, how this generally serious girl couldn't be more earnest or upset. "He turned on me with a bloodthirsty look I have never seen on him before. Bertolt yelled across to him about being a soldier or a warrior, something similar I think. That was when I cut him deep enough.”

Mikasa wouldn’t admit that the steam was unexpected to where it blinded her long enough for Bertolt to get a hard shot in against her head. When she fell from so high, they expected her to be dead. She managed to slow the descent with the one anchor she had left and blacked out upon hitting the ground. When she awoke aching everywhere and with a splitting pain in her head it was dawn, and had a hell of a time finding her way back in the morning mists. Mikasa had to make notches on the trees after going twice in a circle. It helped.

As she was attended to and Eld tugged more information from the teen, Levi barged into your forge and went straight to the ODMG sets. His was finished awhile ago so he was able to return to using what's familiar to him. You blinked up, swiping a forearm over your eyes. “Oh. Hey.” You went ignored. Erwin strode in after him. “Levi, only bring them back alive if it’s possible. Otherwise it isn’t worth the risk.” The Commander also grabbed a movement component, beginning to attach it to his harness swiftly. A moment passed where they were wordlessly buckling in. It was hard to believe, but Mikasa couldn't make that kind of thing up. Implications brought into focus by this lone incident were striking, and if those two cadets were shifters, who was next? Would can be trusted? This meant steps needed to be taken.  


“They’re coming back one way or another." Levi ground out through his teeth. "I’ll cut their fucking limbs off if I have to.”  
The coarseness in his voice was far harder to ignore with that sentiment. You put smoking metal back into the coals and approached. “What the hell is going on? Why're you so pissed off?” They both looked at you. “This doesn’t concern you.”  
“I’m going to find out anyway, especially if you're about to drag more of your problems into my home.” You crossed soot-smeared arms. “Spit it out.” Levi said nothing. He was in too much of a hurry. Instead, Erwin decided to be civil while Levi undoubtedly wouldn’t be. It is at least true that the Captain might return with two bloodied, incapacitated Titan Shifters. If so they would have to be held captive here until departure time. “There’s been an incident. We need to go into town to prevent it from going out of control.”

“What kind of incident automatically means you need to go into a town where everybody HATES you?”

“The kind where one of our soldiers has been attacked by a suspected Titan Shifter.” Erwin watched Levi push past both of you and leave without a word. Your mouth hung ajar and you watched Levi go, then turned back to Erwin. “If they’re dumb enough to wear a uniform while raising hell in Vanaheim, they’re going to bring a damn mob down on us. I know how these people work, they aren’t going to take kindly. What the hell would they go into town for anyway?”  
“We suspect it has to do with the church, and whether anything was hidden by this Zeke you mentioned.”  
“Which one was it? The Shifter, which do you think it was?”  
“Reiner Braun.” He stopped in the door and looked back at you. “I’d like for you to have a good look at him and Bertolt Hoover when they get back. Perhaps you’ll remember them.” He left, now also wearing full ODM gear. Erwin had no intentions of following them into town since he trusted those who left, but he definitely want to make sure his people were prepared to leave at a moment’s notice in case things turned ugly. Watching him go, you felt a scream huddling deep in your lungs. You got through a week of having these soldiers here with no big problems except a few old timers refusing to trade, now they were going to make this into a shitstorm that didn’t have to happen. What kind of mess was going down over there?  
You had to wait and hope that whatever occurred, it wouldn’t ruin everything. This is the only home you knew. If the fallout from this 'incident' made it impossible to trade, staying here would be nigh unbearable. 

_Vanaheim, Present Time…_

It appeared as a normal day in town. Hange made it there before Miche and wasn’t planning to bow out now that she was here. Despite hearing his reels close behind; she let herself down off the branch in the back of the church, and walked up to the creaky wooden stairs to the rear door. It was locked.  
Hange removed a knife from her boot and knelt down to see through the crack where the lock was. Thankfully not a deadbolt. She slipped the blade under and pressed the bar back. The door popped open and she stood with a grin. Miche came down after. “Hange…” He growled. She put a finger to her lips, winked, and motioned him to follow. They moved inside as stealthily as mice wearing cumbersome metal gear. “Ow! Miche, watch it!”  
“Damn it Hange, we need to leave before we’re seen.” He deadpanned. Hange stopped whispering upon peeking around the corner. Dark red was puddled beneath a door gap. She stepped over as softly as her boots could allow on the aged floorboards and opened this next door without needing to knife it. Several flies buzzed out immediately, one almost landed in her agape mouth. Sure enough, there were several moldering bodies piled within and the oncoming stench was _easily_ bad enough to curl their hair. What bodies could be seen (including a pair of children stuffed along the side wall) had their throats cut save for one: a man wearing a harness. He had a bloody, festering hole ripped through his center and many shallow cuts on his person. A length of bug-covered intestine was stretched out towards the door. Hange pulled back with Miche covering his nose beside her. What is it with this place and awful smells? “Whew. Maggot City in there.” She checked around to see if there were any signs of Bertolt or Reiner. What she saw were only signs they'd been searching for something here; with planks ripped out of the walls and a few floorboards were splintered up and tossed aside, revealing nothing but empty spaces. “I doubt they're still here.”

“Doubt it myself, they've already tossed the place. Let's leave now.”  
“Come ON Miche, we can’t back down. What if they never found what they're searching for? The sooner you help me, the quicker we get out.”  
“…fine.” He sounded very nasal with his nose pinched like this. But he also wasn’t about to be stupid. He latched steel to hilt and unsheathed, being cautious kept him alive in the Survey Corps this long that's for damn sure. “I’ll take left. You keep going right.”  
“Yes! Great! Shout if you see anything, kay’?”  
“…” Both of them ventured forth to continue their search. Miche’s path took him to another cramped hall that led him into the nave, where pews were pushed together to form narrow, makeshift bed platforms. Most of these were intact, but there was blood on some of the pillows and possessions were scattered across the floor. A dissembled set of dented ODMG was scattered over the floor along a gory spray beginning dry down. The altar area was completely torn apart. A few compartments were revealed, but the only things in them were a dusty chalice and a few mildewed books. Miche paused by one on the floor which had characters on the front he'd never seen before. Rather than touching it, he flipped the cover open with the tip of his sword. But there was no writing. He saw the pages were cut through to form a compartment, which has glowing tubes nestled within. He knelt to inspect them, but upon hearing a noise made the snap decision to close the book and pick it up. It gave a glassy rattle as he whirled around with his sword raised and saw a field mouse scampering across splintered floorboards. Miche grunted at his own twitchiness and decided to check the other books, just to be sure. There's a lot of them here, and it was blind fortune he chanced upon this one.

He was getting impatient opening books but made quick work of this. Miche saw there weren’t any more like this compartment book, but he did see another in a similar foreign language that some enterprising soul began cutting the center out of. He didn’t find anything else interesting and went to get Hange.  
Hange as it turned out made her way into the cellar, where there were so many places to hide things she was hard at work searching and still coming up empty handed. Her work was cut out for her. Bertolt and Reiner had been prying stones loose and pushing bookcases over before she got here, the place was a disaster. One bookcase had loose stones behind it, and inside was a rectangular spot clean of dust. Perhaps they found what they wanted after all. She turned to see Miche coming downstairs. “Hey. Find anything?”

A sniff. “Yeah. We’re going back.”  
“Ohh lemme see, lemme see!! What is it?!”  
“You can see when we get back.” He grunted when she tried to grab the book away. Zacharias tucked it in his harness under his jacket and thudded upstairs. “No fair! Come _ooooon…_” She chased and at the top, bumped right into his back. “Miche? What’s…oh.” She peered around a broad shoulder. Miche wasn’t budging because he was focused on a man at the end of the hall, holding an aged rifle cocked in their direction. “Where the kids at?” He demanded. Miche was prepared to move if he thought for a second this old fuck planned to shoot them, and he could definitely catch the guy in the throat or chest with an anchor if it came down to that. He really didn't want to resort to that. This was bad enough, getting found. 

As the old man took a few steps further into the hall, his eyes fell on the blood at the bottom of the door now between them. The gun clicked as he raised it chest-level, zeroed in on Miche in front of Hange. “Wh-what did you do?!” 

“Now please calm down, it was like this when we got here--” Hange began.  
“LIARS! You outsiders are trouble, I _knew_ you was trouble the secn’d I set eyes on ya!”  
“Listen, this is important! There were two--” Hange began to move around Miche’s side, but he held his sword arm out to prevent her as soon as the old hick squeezed a round off, blasting splinters into the wall beside them. “I ASKED WHAT YOU DONE!” The bullet casing was rolling away as he pulled a lever on the side. Miche's thumb edged down to the gear switches on his saber, beginning to turn subtly so he'd have a better angle to fire back. Another shot like that, and this man is dead. 

As the hick began to take another step there came an explosion of shattering glass behind him which made the man turn aside in surprise, blasting another hole in the wall. Both Section Commanders took this chance to throw themselves into the room off the side where there were boarded windows. They busted through in short order and both were out and away into the trees with that gun-toting hick bellowing behind them for the town to hear. A blur rocketed by them and arced around to draw level, but they knew was Levi the second they saw him fly. Though he was not wearing his regiment coat and had his cleaning bandannas tied around his mouth and over his hair. The midget probably figured he'd be harder to identify that way. They stopped on an empty tree platform further into the woods over a hunting path, and Levi pulled the bandanna down from his mouth. “That better have been worth it.” 

“It was.” Hange said. “Braun and Hoover were probably the ones who tore through that place. And we found a closet full of bodies. Those guys were there for a little while considering how many bugs were saw, I'd say they came and went awhile ago.” They froze. Voices were raised back where they ran from. The Captain clicked his tongue and turned. "Tch, we can talk more when we get back.” Levi flew off right away and they followed. He regretted not killing that old man to shut him up, but then it’d only make things worse. There were others inside the church by then who would have seen, and he was talking loud enough for them to hear the word ‘outsider’. The Survey Corps purpose is not to _kill_ fellow humans, it is to preserve the population from their monstrous enemy. Far as they were aware, Eldia was the final holdout in a world drowning with beasts.  
They started their way back and were mutually happy that it was not far to your farm. You were outside out for some fresh air when you saw them arrive, landing by the house and going in. You turned to the few soldiers inside and asked them to keep an eye on the place for a minute while you went for a water break. They did not seem to mind. Miche handed Erwin that book he had hidden on his person, and everybody in the kitchen was clustered around it to see glowing vials with old yellowed tags on each one. ‘Armor’ and ‘Scream’ were most legible. If this was Zeke’s writing, it was atrocious. “What do these things do?” Eren wondered. Erwin closed the book. “Hange?”

“Hmmmm, well, I have some tests I can run. There’s a few of each. And they were important enough to hide.”  
“Indeed. Waste as little as possible when we return. Keep this hidden.” You closed the door behind you, letting them realize they weren’t alone. While lingering in the doorway an cardinal-feathered arrow whooshed by your head and pegged into the frame. It had a scrap of paper with crude writing tied around the shaft.

‘Run.’

Not everyone can write around here. She tried to learn but it always came out as a practically illegible scribble, except with easy words like this. You walked over holding both the arrow and the paper and showed the slip for them to see. “Time’s up.” You dropped both on the table and walked over to the stairs. “I’ll ride out with you to make sure nobody gets lost. Hurry the fuck up. They’re probably grabbing their pitchforks as we speak.” They weren’t budging. You stopped midway up and turned to glare at them. “This isn’t a joke. If you people want to get out of here without more senseless death, then _move_.”  
Armin watched you go upstairs with his stomach sinking while everyone stirred to life around him. He blinked out of it and helped steady Mikasa when she stood up, Eld Gin was already shakily on his feet with his knee throbbing like mad. They would all need to pack up and gear up. A few more days spent collecting resources and forging steel would’ve been ideal but alas, that wasn't to be.

The farm erupted into chaos: soldiers and their superiors yelling, items being tucked away, horses neighing in the commotion. The cart was hitched up and packed haphazardly the rest of the way. People were trying to make sure they weren’t missing anything. Some were barely fit to ride, like Eld with his knee. He would end up driving the cart and letting somebody else wear the ODMG. There was no way he’d be helpful otherwise.  
You thundered down the stairs and saddled Fury up, throwing on a ‘bug-out bag’ (saddlebag) stuffed with some essentials in case you’d be out afield longer than planned. The Scouts emptied out of the farm like a green flood while angry voices were heard down the road, and a few of them were archers shooting arrows that were too poorly aimed to find a mark. You hoped they’d only raid the place. Hopefully….hopefully there would be something left when you got back. _Hopefully_ they wouldn’t take Zephyr and Orion and the gypsies and their colts. You considered setting them free, but that would mean they could die early in the wild. These assholes would sooner take and put them to use than kill them. The killing would only happen if there was no meat.  
You kicked Fury into a gallop and pushed ahead of the pack, not looking back at home, not looking back at the Scouts. There was hooting and howling and cheering when the townsfolk saw this battalion of soldiers leaving, going quickly out into the valley where it’d be too bothersome for any with ODMG to follow without trees for anchor points. Levi watched you riding at a good clip ahead of them. He knew what it felt like to lose home and everything attached to it. He doubted anything would be left and if that’s so then you, a once-stranger, sacrificed everything but your heart for them. The only answer he remembered hearing about this phenomenon was ‘because you guys taught my family, and they taught me’. That was not much of a response to his ears.

You began to let Fury slow down before he got too tired and the others caught up. Erwin, riding up front, thought he saw the sun glint off a line on your cheek. Any pang of guilt he might feel was drowned out by the knowledge that this could have gone few other ways, none of which were very successful. You knew their worth and why they had to survive. But you never admitted that part and he never _admitted_ that he figured it out. People who came in contact with Titan Shifters knew that they are aberrations, that it’s not normal, that where they go death follows. You saw those Shifters in action before. If they were instead murdered by the townsfolk that one night it might’ve made the war against these titans much simpler without those sentient-minded generals leading the charge. Was it guilt that made you work so hard to help them? Of everything, what was most likely?

“I’m not happy with your friends back there.” You told Erwin over the stomping of many hooves. He looked over, the wind nearly pushing his hood over his head. “I’m not exactly thrilled with them myself right now.”  
“I suppose that’s a cold comfort.” You said, watching steadily ahead. Everybody slowed down enough. “Here I thought I was the one asshole in this whole mess.”  
“You’re nothing of the sort.” He was showing a little bit of sympathy, skipping right past any perceived implications or foul language. Right now wasn’t the opportunity to explain how it'd be smarter to go back with them: not partway as intended, but right through to Wall Rose. To Scouting Legion HQ. He knew he could pull a string or two in order to place you in their custody. _That_ shouldn’t be hard to accomplish. But you made it abundantly clear you had no such plans. Thing is, if you go back and the townsfolk kill you for associating with the Scouts; it would have been absolutely preventable. This would not be a problem to begin with if nobody went into Vanaheim when ordered not to. That said...there is no way of knowing how fast those hillbillies would pin the church killings on them with _or_ without Hange, Miche and Levi turning up to make it easier to assign blame.  
“Thank you.” You said. The valley was gently rolling up into a swell and back down again. There were a few titans toddling about, though one big bastard was sitting down in the grass. You were up in a flash, anchored to the large one’s back, and were gone off Fury’s saddle. You circled quickly for momentum. Before the titan could stand you ripped the back of his neck clear out and he slumped forward. Fury ran by, you jumped back on without him slowing down. It’s hard to fight titans in open areas like this, but you were more experienced in this type of skirmish than most. The anchors can still grab into the ground, but not for as long. When others were preparing to try their hand at it you were already on to the next, flowing through a few minor acrobatics on the way to keep your speed rolling. The next titan wasn’t big, a giant baby waddling with its arms outstretched towards the front of the group as they pushed forward. You anchored ahead of it and used the momentum to glide your swords through its neck. The monster turned to a steaming carcass as the formation galloped around it. You were back on Fury’s saddle and heading towards the third, with eyes for nothing else but killing. That one was taller. You could use his own height against him, and do so handily. Scorching hot titan blood sprayed in an arc over drying prairie grass. One more was now accompanied by a friend, which was previously laying down in the grass off to the side. Petra and Oluo took one down each, no frills, slashed through them like cutting grass. “Hey, you’re not the only one allowed to have any fun around here!!” Oluo shouted in your direction.  
“Whatever you say, Dead Last!” You yelled back while alighting upon Fury’s wide back. As you did, Petra remembered from the bog and laughed. Levi hardly reacted, but Erwin cracked a smile. For once Oluo didn’t chomp his tongue.

The trip would continue without further carnage, but there shortly needed to be a chance to stop and water the horses. Seeing the distance on paper wasn’t as daunting as traveling it. They were now grasping how far out of the way they got. “I didn’t realize how bad our detour was.” Gelgar commented ironically to Moblit. He nodded solemnly. “I had a feeling. When the Section Commander traveled ahead before, remember how far away his flares went?”

“Yeah.” He watched the others. They came out here with more people than this. “I wonder if the teams with the supply carts ever made it to their drop points.”  
Berner shrugged. “We’re very far off the path still. We have no way of knowing until we pass one.”  
“Or maybe they uh…maybe they cut and ran. Like those guys in Vanaheim. Leaving the walls when you have carts full of supplies would be---Section Commander?”  
“Hellooooo boys,” Hange chirped. “Moblit, would you come here a second?” He got up and followed over to where Hange’s horse was grazing, and opened a saddle bag. She removed the book from before, and showed him the inside. “What do you think?” She asked, watching him turn one over and over in his hand. Moblit is her assistant. She wanted to bounce this off of him before they got back on the road. “I don’t know what to make of it. Do you know what these are for, Section Commander?”  
“Nooooo clue. They were found hidden in the church. I want both of us thinking about this on our way back. Reiner and Bertolt were searching for these and who-knows-what-else.” Moblit turned an ‘Armor’ bottle over in his calloused hands before placing it carefully atop the others and closing the book, which Hange fastened shut with a leather strip she nicked from your forge for safekeeping. “We’re going to test it out when we get back.”  
“Right.”

The order that it was time to get going again got passed around. You tied a bucket back up along the saddlebags that you used to water Fury on long trips. He was done drinking anyway. Mikasa watched you from afar with saddened eyes, while Armin and Eren talked. She imagined the whole farm up in flames, with horses screaming in the barn. She barely paid attention Sasha's nattering at her side, who was pleased that they had meat for the return, and talked about what she was planning to cook later because some of it wasn’t dried and, "We need to eat that lovely delicious meat before it goes bad!" Brouse felt bad about how things were being left in Vanaheim but this was eclipsed by her desire to eat. She was also sad that the foodstuffs left behind in your kitchen would be taken. You rode by them and to the front to where Erwin was showing Miche the map, just in case the group got split up again. Everyone was to be told certain landmarks and what to do in case the same shit as before happened. Miche was suggesting that they push through the night and reach Wall Maria sooner, then it wouldn’t be too much further until they were home free behind Wall Rose. “No way in hell.” You butted in for the sake of helping expedite things. “There’s rain on the horizon and this grass is thinning out, see? We’re going to cross a big stretch of dirt, it becomes nothing but mud and rocks. Your horses will be too tired for a sustained run like that, and you risk getting the supply wagon stuck. Push through here quickly to where there’s grass again and there’s going to be a stand of trees. It is a good place to set up camp. Nobody lives out here, so there’s far fewer titans on this side of the Reach. They’re drawn off east where the exiles live.”

“….what?”  
“Exiles as in, where they let that group of Titan Shifters go?”  
“Well yeah.” You looked warily from face to face. “There were a few who periodically checked on them from a distance when no one believed us about what they are. I’m told they rebuilt some of it. People back in Vanaheim are still convinced that the lights from when they change is just strange lightning and we’re cursed or some nonsense.” Hange was now right next to you. “Oh we HAVE to go Erwin, please? Please? For me?”  
“Absolutely not.” He said, but nonetheless marked a couple points on his map. “We barely have enough to make it back. There will be no side trips, Hange.”  
“Ugh. Nobody loves me.”  
Last thing they needed was to go kick open a hornet’s nest while barely equipped. You worked as hard as you could with volunteers in the space you had, even then it wasn’t sufficient to arm up the whole battalion. The worst part is the gas canisters; there wasn’t anywhere close to enough to go around. You assured them it was pointless to try and clear out the mine, that place was inexplicably covered in sleeping giants as of a month or two ago. Soon enough anyone in Vanaheim who used ODMG would be grounded until the mine either cleared out, or more could be scavenged. Since the fields and forest were now picked clean within a healthy radius that meant going out further. Longer distances meant greater danger.  
You vainly hoped that your usefulness as a smith and unofficial engineer would outweigh the town’s anger. If Mom and Dad were to be believed, the three walls were a stony cage. To live there is to surrender one’s freedom. Everybody who came from there said so. And the scant few from inside the core of it, Mitras, said that the people there were monsters too, only smaller than any titan. 

Little did anyone know how accurate that was. 

The plan going forward was changed to include your suggestion, with them agreeing it was best to stick to your familiarity with the land until they were back on better known ground and the group moved out with due haste. Those clouds promised a storm. Shelter would be needed and that copse of trees would help. The Scouts forged ahead for over an hour until the dirt petered out to patchy grass, thickening on the way towards the trees. The rain began in earnest as Levi and his people scoured around to make certain there were no titans lurking, they discovered that the grove was empty but for a few critters. Everyone would pitch their tents. You set up your own little rudimentary tent and kicked your bedroll open inside it, then lit the windproof lantern you kept with your camping equipment. It was getting dark, more fires were lit, and food was cooked. You were curled up on your bedroll and ignoring the savory scent of meat and herbs sizzling over flame. It was easy for them to lose you in the commotion started by dinner. Right now you preferred it that way. Putting your sleeping spot a little bit away from theirs helped achieve this. You weren't sure you could eat right now if you tried. Worry gnawed inside your belly.

You were not as forgotten as you thought though, because Mikasa arrived with two bowls of stew, looking a bit less worse for wear than she was earlier today. You’d been going over an old journal by lantern. “Here. You need to keep your strength up.” She said, placing the bowl by your arm. You looked up at her and smiled. “Thank you.” You said, accepting it in favor of putting the journal aside. You stared down at the bowl in hand, full of venison and herbs and root vegetables. The feeling of 'worry' rumbled in your gut. Maybe it was plain old hunger after all. “What is it?” She asked, noticing you didn't begin devouring Sasha's cooking with the same zeal as the others. You twirled your spoon around. "What?" Mouth full, Mikasa's dark orbs lingered on the journal. “Oh. Used to be my Father’s.” You put the spoon down and moved the lantern to a better angle. "Sounds very personal. Do you keep it to remember him?" You ate a spoonful of deer stew. Could use a little sea salt, but they didn't have any. Otherwise it was great. “Yeah, and uh...not as personal as you think. Maps, observations, schematics. I think it stopped being a diary when he moved out here.” You chewed another bite of stew. With one hand you flipped through until finding a specific page, and pushed it close to the lantern so Mikasa could see a very old sketch of a woman combing her horse’s mane. She recognized the dappled spots as this horse being Zephyr. “This was your mother?” she asked, taking the book. You nodded once and resumed eating. She flipped through it a bit more without thinking, but didn’t stop to read until she saw a picture of something chillingly familiar.  
“This…this is…”  
You put a finger in the binding and peeked over top of the journal. “Oh yeah. Big armored brute. Haven’t seen another titan like him for six years now.” 

“This titan was at Shiganshina.”

You did not recognize the district name right off. “Sorry, where?”  
“My home. It destroyed my home.” She turned and looked over to where Armin and Eren were. Eren, being very close with Mikasa, sensed her gaze. Both turned towards her and approached thinking something was up. “What’s wrong?”  
She held up the book. A tremor went through Armin’s body at seeing the illustration while Eren’s eyes went wide. “How do you have a picture of this monster?” Eren asked, voice becoming low and threatening. You watched him calmly from over your soup bowl. “Cool it, would you? That’s an old illustration from my father. It was one of the Titan Shifters we saw back then. Though again, nobody believed us. At that point he could barely use the gear to fight for health reasons, all he could do was stalk them and record his findings.” You considered. “Come to think of it those two seem familiar now, your Reiner and Bertolt. But they didn’t have the same look about them six years ago. Like they could have seen some shit between now and then, gotten a bit older, been toughened up by the military...yeah. That blond guy definitely could have been Reiner. Hay-boy might’ve been Bertolt, he _was_ pretty damn tall even then.” You paused with your spoon in your mouth. “Hay-boy?” Mikasa echoed.

“Ah yeah you weren’t there to hear it, were you?” You realized. “Those years ago I went into town same as always, Fleas asked me to hang out for a minute while he went to grab whatever-it-was, can’t remember that part now. What I do remember is waiting by the church with my horse and hearing somebody making a lot of noise. I checked around the corner, saw this tall dark-haired kid who shattered his arm earlier that week lifting a hay bale to feed their horses. He had a sling hanging out of his pocket.” You stirred your venison stew around, the spoon clinking against its bowl. “Anyway, this Zeke character came running outside, got up in his face, said a thing I couldn’t hear, and Hay-boy put the bale down to put his sling back on. I got the impression that no one was supposed to see him doing any heavy lifting. Never said anything to anybody then, as I didn’t see the sense.”

“They’re both Titan Shifters.” Armin voiced shakily. “How come we never knew? I feel like we should have.” He couldn't feel dumber over this. He should have know, they should have know, but those two covered up well.

“You’d think it’d get obvious.” You said when Eren or Mikasa were watching their friend, unsure of what to tell him. Especially Eren. He went a good ways without knowing he is a titan himself. “Thing about theses people is they have their tricks. There are these glowing bottles that supposedly altered their titan form in a way, but I’m not sure how. Tried to find out for sure when my old man could not follow them around anymore. They’d stick this uh…clunky needle-thing into a woman’s neck once, her body started to bulge and break and change into a titan, but it was misshapen. Over-sized head, skinny torso, one big limb and three small ones. Zeke killed it straight off. After I told my father about it he tried to draw a picture, it should be in there.”  
“How did he die?” Mikasa asked softly.  
“The old man?”  
A nod.

“In his sleep. Went to bed one night, never woke up. After that my mother stopped eating and drinking until she could join him. It didn't matter what I said to change her mind.”  
That was a surprise for them to hear. Not many Scouts managed to get old. You had no way of knowing, but your father actually died while asleep resulting from his medical condition, which was the same thing that made it hard for him to continue using his gear. He wasn't quite old enough to die in his sleep otherwise. “He was no joke, that old man. Neither of them were. They weren't your Special Ops Squad, nobody’s like them I guess, but they were lethal enough to survive. Taught me how to do the same.” You put your emptied bowl down and accepted the journal back from Armin, who had been examining it for a few. He committed as much as he could to memory in that short chance he had, but there was a note of hesitance in him returning it to your hand. “Actually,” Armin spoke up. “Would you mind if I read this a bit longer? We’re…we need to learn what we can about the Titan Shifters. Both for Eren’s sake and our own.”  
“Go ahead. I’m going to sleep in an hour anyway.”  
“Thank you!!” He accepted it back and dashed away. Eren half-smiled. “He’s always been a bookworm.”  
“There’s a lot of pictures in there. A bookworm can devour that quickly.” You took a water skin and proceeded to rinse out the bowl, but Mikasa covered your hand and took the bowl back. “I’ll wash it by the pond.” She said. You nodded, letting her go. Eren stayed put.  
“She said that the armored one was at this Shiganshina place. Where you grew up, yeah?”  
“Yeah.” Eren said, watching the flame living inside your lantern. “The Colossal Titan broke our gate. A chunk of rock from the Wall…it…crushed our house.” He was surprised at himself. He could talk about this without a catch in his throat. How long did that take?  
“What’re the odds?”  
“Better than you’d think I guess.” He said sullenly. In that little flame, he watched Shiganshina burn repeatedly. The screaming, the stony hail, the fires ignited, too many people dying because a giant among giants kicked down their front door.  
“You’re not getting it, Eren.”  
He refused to look up, hypnotized by his own trauma. “I don’t have much reason to believe in gods. I _definitely_ don’t think your Walls were made by them. But from what I have heard, of everybody that was there that day, you and your two friends made it out. You survived against the odds. And you’ve done so again, and again, and again.” 

“What’re you saying?”

“That if anybody has a shot at taking these bastards down, it’s you and these people around you, titan boy.” Your smile was a hint more real now. “I may not know much about what life’s like on the other side of the fence or what it’s like to be in your position. But the Survey Corps is the only group doing something about this whole mess. Once humanity ran this world. If there’s a world left out there, we owe it to ourselves to take that shit back. This is _our_ house. Are you gonna let some brainless jackasses do what they want in _our_ house? Again?” You got up and clapped a hand on his shoulder hard enough that it startled him to look right up with wide eyes. 

“Now that, Eren Yeager, is why I didn’t leave your battalion to die.”  
His grin turned a vicious as it was genuine.

The night would pass.

Crack of dawn, everybody ate and broke camp. It would be a sustained gallop towards Wall Maria, former Shiganshina district itself in the southern quadrant of the wall. Eren was (for some reason) completely fired up and Hange found it hilarious. His mood was infectious enough to help morale along in his part of the formation, anyway, slowly spreading to the others. You were riding close to Erwin again, at this point you had your book out and were double checking against what you remembered. This was where they were starting to recognize landmarks. Until the greatest landmark to defeat them all arose ahead, so broad and imposing that it even you went silent for a minute to stare at its gray edifice. Here is Wall Maria, and there, that hole in the wall, is where its gate once kept titans at bay. Beyond lay the abandoned Shiganshina district. “Eren told me about this the other night.” You said across to Erwin. He looked up, realizing this was probably the first time you’ve seen the Wall in years. “I guess I never put two and two together of how ‘colossal’ that bastard must have been to kick the gate in.”

“Aptly named.” Erwin responded over his steed’s gallop. Everybody was beginning to slow down. There would be a load of titans ahead, they now needed to tighten their focus. This is where things get especially dangerous. You turned your face to smile over at him. “Well, Commander, this is my stop. Try not to get yourselves killed, yeah?”

“You could see that we don’t.” He challenged your insistence to leave even now. “I would hate for you to go back and find nothing left. They aren’t forgiving people.” Last shot. You almost laughed despite that grim remark. “No. They aren’t. But my home is out here and I doubt you can promise me the same life inside.” In a gesture he would not expect in a thousand years, you put the side of your fist over your heart. The others couldn’t see from behind. This meant they also didn’t see him return it, nor could they see the mild shock registered on his face. “Don’t die, handsome.” You departed from the pack and started going back the way they came, Fury snorting and lengthening his stride. You held up a hand in passing to the others. Petra caught Levi watching. Others waved, a few choice words were cried out against the wind, but their syllables were lost before hitting your ears. You caught the overall tone.

**‘Thank you.’**


	8. The 57th Scouting Expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: If this one has an air of being rushed, that's because it's intended to give a sense of anxiety and urgency, but I'm afraid I probably didn't convey that so well.  
On to other news; a few more chapters and voting will close. I want everyone to be aware that I am planning to also write a one-shot beside this, right now I have a couple (still in process) and I may turn that into a short series. 
> 
> We’re going into the part about the 57th. Since this is a ‘what if’ story, know that casualties won’t be identical to what it is in the series. I’m reserving the chance to dispense with those same people however is best later on.
> 
> *** Here’s how our pairing poll is doing as of 6/7/20:--
> 
> Erwin: 3  
Levi: 5  
Both: 2
> 
> I will continue to showcase how either pairing would work, now I see it could become possible that we have an ongoing triad here so for giggles, I’ll also figure out a scenario where the three of them have implied relationship potential together (I have no clue if those two are going to be good at sharing a woman, both seem as though they’d become territorial and…no, I’m not trying to sell it, hush. >>’ \  
So for now, Levi is winning, but only by a couple votes. I am genuinely excited to see how it shakes out because I have ideas for whichever we end up with. If you favor this turning out with a specific pairing, go ahead and vote if you haven’t!! Time is running down, my darlings. <3 
> 
> POLL IS -TENTATIVELY- REMAINING OPEN UNTIL CHAPTER TEN. ***
> 
> **Disclaimers, because of the sensitive times we live in:** I don’t own AoT. Any opinions expressed in this fanfiction are not intended to offend or create controversy outside of the plot. There will be canon deviations. There will be HORRIBLE things that happen, and also uplifting situations. This is never meant to sound tone deaf against the state of our world.

The 57th Scouting Expedition

The Survey Corps forged ahead with a bunch sad to see their favorite ‘wild woman’ leave their side. You didn’t make friends with everybody. But there was no denying the part you played in helping them back up into the saddle. They did plenty of their own work, but you provided them what they required and worked tirelessly. Eren kept his fierce expression and remained feeling empowered, Armin held fast to what he learned, but Mikasa felt her heart sink. But she also believed that if anyone could survive no matter what, it was _you_, one and only friend beyond their walls. A person who didn’t know them showed more faith in their abilities than those they protected, and today they were about to face the crass mutterings of many deflated citizens.  
Erwin didn’t show any indication of how he felt after your departure, though he was thinking about the whole sorry situation too. He also could not afford to waste much of his attention on that right now, there would be moments for regret later. He already had a heap of them, what’s one more? They took half an hour to pick steadily through Shiganshina’s husk to the opposite side and out to another stretch. There were more titans to kill between there and Trost. They were effortlessly dispatched by the Levi Squad. The killing was left solely to them since their experience on long runs and grace under fire would see them through, and they knew how to slide in and out of formation without creating problems. 

When the miles fell away and the Wall Rose expanded overhead, Calaneth Gate opened, and the Scouts had another ‘walk of shame’ to suffer through. There were many missing from their ranks as always. This also wasn’t a result from a large-scale sortie. They had that still to come. 

Calaneth citizens muttered and spat and said their awful things normally, but today, those returning didn’t seem nearly as beaten and broken as usual. The people settled for sour whispers and wondered what the hell this was about. Did they have some success? Dot Pyxis rode out onto the street and fell in line beside Commander Smith, watching ahead with his usual mustachioed cat-ate-the-canary smile. He was in Calaneth for business today, just so HAPPENED that the Scouts returned while he was here. Fancy that. Erwin was not fooled. “Commander Erwin, welcome back.”  
The blond forced a smile. Doing that came easily since he became Commander of the Scouting Legion. Sadies wasn’t nearly as good at the political side, like handling interactions with other Commanders. “Thank you, Commander Pyxis.” Mutual rank acknowledgements. Aside from smiling for the public, this is also par for the course.  
“We have a barracks we can clear out if your men need it right now. Stick around a night or two, huh?” He unscrewed a flask cap and took a swig. Erwin could smell it from here. “Plenty to go around. What say you?”  
Erwin lowered his hood and felt a light breeze in his hair. “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll decline this once. We’re returning straight to headquarters.”  
Pyxis raised his eyebrows and faced ahead, rubbing his chin. “Alright.” He knew better than to start asking questions. They returned very late, but not in horrible condition as usual. There was bound to be an interesting explanation and one he likely wouldn’t be hearing today. “The Premier’s going to be breathing down your neck the second he catches wind you’ve returned.”  
“I’m well aware.”  
“What do you intend to tell him?” Hell. Why not try?  
“The truth is usually preferable.” They were out of road. The next gate was opening. “Until next time.” Pyxis turned his horse off the road and pulled aside to where his adjutants were waiting. They watched the Scouts ride out of Calaneth and out into the field between Wall Rose and Wall Sina, bound for their own barracks. The best titan killers in Eldia normally return slumped in their saddles and defeated.Enough of them sported bandages, but no visible blood. They also didn't seem so pained. It certainly threw the naysayers off their shit-talking game, which was nice for a change. Pyxis was pondering what little he just heard from Smith himself, that the truth is 'usually' preferable, but knew himself that it's not always the wisest course. Whatever took place out there which had them gone so long, it was a story he wanted to hear. Especially the parts that the Premier didn't need to know. Alas, not yet. He'd need to finagle Smith into a chess game one day and see what he could get out of that sly bastard.  


The old drunkard grinned under his mustache as he contemplated this. He had a pleasant feeling about seeing them ride through today, but for the life of him couldn’t explain why other than their less troubled state. When he briefly made eye contact with Erwin though, he saw scorching blue fire in that man’s eyes.  


Terrifying yet perfect. There are a lot of titans left to burn.

_Back Afield, Hours Later…_

When there isn’t a whole battalion to consider, you had better ways home. Quicker, more subtle ways. It would be hours and you’d have to ride into the dusk, but you tied Fury up by a narrow stream in the woods and used your gear to maneuver closer without being seen. 

Your heart sank. Home wasn’t on fire, but they did enough damage. At first you slipped into the forge and found it completely ransacked, with even the forge itself broken into a pile of smoking coal, stone, and metal. The workbenches were busted through. Any whole blades left were taken, and gas canisters, cord, nails, tools, odds and ends too. You anticipated the house would be the same. At least they wouldn’t be dumb enough to start a fire out here, it could spread to the woods and eventually Vanaheim.

When you crossed to the barn and saw that the horses were gone it came as no surprise, but it still felt bad to step inside and see those large friendly creatures missing. You opted to do a quick sweep through anyway, but nothing was left except a little hay. Your path shifted into the house itself. It's possible some might've hung back so it was smart to proceed with caution. You held your lantern up and moved quietly through the house, ready to pull a blade if it came to that.  


The kitchen was also ransacked, but what caught your attention were torn pieces of clothing and bloody, scalped clumps of flaming copper hair strewn over the floor, leading to a slumped corpse in the middle of the broken table. The red-feathered arrow from earlier was stabbed into the side of her neck straight through a familiar slip of paper. You turned your head away from Redwood and covered your mouth, swallowing the noise that wanted to jump out. _’…oh, Red…_ You felt hot tears pooling at your lashes. She didn’t deserve this. If you hid the note at least, tossed it in the fireplace or _something_…she probably wanted to make sure you didn’t stay behind, or they caught her some other way. You couldn’t look at her any longer. You didn’t want to know what else they might’ve done. Especially when the small hard things rolling under your boots were human teeth, not pebbles. You didn’t check to see if hers were missing, and hoped she knocked them out of somebody else's head.

You would creep throughout your childhood home anticipating more atrocities. Fortunately there were none. The Scouts may have been right, Erwin certainly was when he said he's aware they aren't forgiving people out here...but you were already beyond regretting what lead to this moment, and had been for a bit. You made your choice and stood by it. Now you were standing within the wreckage resultant of that decision. 

There were some hidden things you’d check for and take along. It was a very old habit to secret items away in the event of intruders breaking through, which used to happen quite frequently during your childhood. There was a little booze that you took, some oil, a couple of dusty old emergency gas canisters and a box of flint and tinder you forgot about. Those would be stored in Fury’s saddlebags. There were other items bound to be useful except you were limited on what to take, much had to be left behind in favor of what lasts longest. You felt this raging heat lighting you up from within as you stared down at the flint n' tinder in hand. Suddenly reducing the whole place to a puff of smoke wasn't a bad idea. If an inferno traveled to the town, would that feel worth it? Would displacing people from their homes as compensation be meaningful to you? There must be some who had nothing to do with this. _They_ didn't deserve to lose what they had as you did. But then, Redwood didn't deserve to die either.  


While you were deciding there was a huge flash and a familiar sound outside, causing the color to drain out of your face. You picked up your lantern and dashed out to witness a telltale pillar of light reaching the sky as a Titan Shifter transformed. It seemed to be coming from Vanaheim proper. You did not know what madness was about to ensue, but you couldn’t stand around for it. You tucked what few extra things you found into pockets and around your harness then flew off for the trees; you did _not_ want to be here if a Shifter came barreling down this way.

Fury was drinking from the stream when you arrived. You packed everything possible into his saddlebags without overburdening him. While doing so a few more crackling beams hailed the sky, illuminating the night.  


You hurriedly finished attaching the still-lit windproof lantern to the saddle so its hot glass wouldn't touch your horse's pelt and mounted up. Then you'd drive Fury into a full gallop, riding half-blind into the dark and hoping that the sliver moon would be insufficient to wake more of those lumbering thickheads up. And if it did, hopefully they’d head towards their Shifter kin. You listened through your steed’s heavy, panting breaths and prayed to…what? What do you pray to? Hope? Fate? Anybody? You mentally prayed to whatever the fuck was listening that this was enough misfortune for awhile. After that, we’ll see what happens.

_Five Months Later, Scout Headquarters…_

Things were looking up.

After certain problems came to light the 57th Expedition beyond the Walls had to be delayed; all to make certain there’d be enough resources out in the field. There were setbacks and more terrible things to contend with, but the Scouts were going strong again and planning to launch the 57th Sortie.  
The castle (once-former scout HQ) buzzed with activity as that date drew inevitably closer. A little further out they had what was turning into a town, as the Survey Corps didn’t have a terribly specific place to operate out of anyhow. They would usually waffle between districts. A little ways behind Calaneth there was a town that got completely emptied out with no explanation, something they examined and found no answers to. Section Commander Hange since had it occupied with her squads of researchers. When nobody returned to reclaim their homes, it ended up completing the change into a base/staging area. More recently it boasted a lock-down area for any titans they couldn’t stuff into ‘The Pit’, which was a space emptied out below HQ where Zoe could control the amount of light they were exposed to for her experiments. Lately it was empty. Eren was her primary subject, and he already had a prison to sleep in.  
But now, on the other side of what passed for winter in South Paradis, Eren and Mikasa and Armin were atop the walls of Calaneth; pacing and nervous and watching one side or the other. Eren stood close to the edge and stared out, Armin behind him sat down facing inwards towards the city. He watched carts being loaded up as Eren contemplated the horizon, wondering and becoming more anxious by the second. “Do you think Reiner and Bertolt are out there?” He asked his childhood friends.  
“Hard to say.” Armin raised his voice over the breeze. Mikasa was pacing a little. Eren’s mood was affecting her. “They could’ve snuck in.”

“But what the hell could they be doing, they aren’t…” Eren faltered and shook his head. “Nevermind.”

“I know, Eren. I’m not happy about it either.” The blond sympathized dully, having become tired of hearing it. This was a thing that happened on and off; Eren burst out wondering shit like this, ranted that they should go find them and shake their trees for answers. His friends normally got him to chill, but the few times they couldn't he got slapped with latrine duty so he could bitch without anyone having to listen--a certain midget's idea of a solution. This cycle would repeat later when something reminded him of their wayward comrades. There were still so many questions and none of the answers to counter them.

“If they are out there,” Mikasa thought to say out of the blue. “Haz could have killed them. I’m sure of it.”

Both boys turned from their seats to stare at her. Well…shit. “I dunno. If Reiner’s really the Armored Titan....then, don’t _you_ want to…?” Eren let the question hang. She watched an end of her red scarf fly on the wind. “_Of course_ I want revenge.” She said quietly. “But if we can’t reach them, it’s nice to think that somebody else can. She’s the only friend we have out there. She’s capable and I believe in her the way she believes in us.”

“…” Eren turned away and shook his head. Knowing what they did, he wasn’t sure he could keep on 'believing' you were snug as a bug in your farm outside of Vanaheim. “Me too.” Armin agreed softly. But even he wasn't sure. Walls, how he wished he could be. There are so few certainties in this small world. 

Their last free hours came to an end. It was time to leave on their first true expedition.  
Now came the formation, the quiet before the storm, the imminent death toll.

The Scouting Legion was mounted up in the streets of Calaneth, pointing towards the exterior gate. He still wasn’t accustomed to this feeling, it was nothing like going on those supply runs. The only ones ever coming in and out of those gates were the Scouts, and the ones most used to it were up front. A man was calling out over the otherwise pregnant silence.  
“The Titans in the vicinity have been lured away! Gate opens in thirty seconds!”

Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. Twenty-six. Twenty-five…

Movement caught Yeager’s eye, two children peering out the window. He could read their lips. The older brother was telling his younger sister about the Wings of Freedom. Eren remembered thinking the Scouts were cool too, and now he was on horseback with them, straight backed, waiting.

Fifteen. Fourteen. Twelve. Eleven…

“This is it! The day has come for humanity to take another step forward! Let’s show those titans exactly what we’re made of!”  
Sabers in the air, a roar of approval.  
“OPEN THE GATE!”  
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two…

Commander Erwin, flanked by Section Commander Hange and Section Commander Miche at the head of the group, astride his white stallion, watched the engraved stone slab lurch laboriously above them on chains, clearing the archway. The grating of stone on stone rattled in their bones at this proximity. This did not phase them.

…One.

“FOREWARD!!!!!” The rallying cry tore from him as it had before. His stallion reared up with a whinny and launched ahead with gigantic strides, a whole legion thundering behind him. “IT’S OFFICIALLY BEGUN! THE 57TH RECON MISSION! SCOUTS, MOVE OOOOUT!!!”

It was impossible not to feel chills. Eren was separate from his friends here in the Levi Squad, well protected where he was…they on the other hand, were not as safe. He knew to have faith. That was all they could do, is keep to the formation, follow orders, know their training, and do their damn job, no matter how questionable it got. 

Decrepit buildings shot up around them, offering way too many hidey holes for smaller titans. Once they were out in the field itself, the Long-Range Scouting Formation would take shape. Eren glanced down at the bag bouncing against his horse’s side, situated ahead of his right knee, and switched his gaze ahead to Captain Levi’s back. He gulped down the knot in his throat.

This was really happening.

_Elsewhere…_

Five going on six months without a roof over your head. You knew how to survive out in the wilderness and were glad of those skills, they served you well, but it didn’t make for comfortable living. First month in was fine, you rationed your supplies while continuously scavenging further and further out. There wasn’t too much to be had. Second month was still alright, you found a cave. Until a new tenant tried to move in; a rabid black bear, which nearly killed you when you were dozing off. It took breaking a sword off in its chest, left it to rot, and moved on. That was a month of eating very little.

Third month was a tough go of it. You ran into a pocket of titans in the forest, they nearly killed both you and Fury. You burnt through too much gas. But once they were cleared out, you found a decent spot to try and construct a lean-to with big leafy branches as camouflage.

Fourth month, a titan found your hovel while you were out scavenging. The brute happened to stomp it flat and scattered what supplies not on Fury’s saddle. You were without food for almost a week. You broke down and used a little gas with an ODMG anchor to pierce an unsuspecting rabbit and pull it back against your hip. Bloody, but had to be done. You almost couldn’t wait to cook it when the hunger pangs were setting in.

Fifth month, you found a horseless cart with a broken wheel and skeletons in mangled uniforms surrounding it. You had no idea how long it’d been out there but finding them seeded unwelcome thoughts in your head: titans don’t frequently leave so many limbs intact. Carrion feeders picked them clean, each skeleton was whole. You didn’t find much except a few things that rolled away during whatever fight they had. It pays to be thorough.

And now heading into what you estimated was your sixth month (it's not easy to keep track of the days), you opened your eyes beneath a rocky overhang upon hearing a booming bellow and countless earthshaking footfalls. Fury was mincing in place where you tied him up. You hopped down from your uncomfortable napping spot and put your hand on his side, smoothing his fur. “Heeey, hey. It’s alright big guy.” He wasn’t wrong to be nervous. There were noises coming out of the Forest of Giant Trees for awhile, and you had no inclination to go closer. But now that the titans were coming closer to _you_, it was time to bounce.

Fury needed little encouraging from your heel in his side and covered a lot of ground fast. He was plenty enthused to get the fuck out of this place same as you, but when you rounded some trees not only saw a jumble of Titans clinging and gnawing the _Armored Titan_ himself, but a familiar voice shouting up ahead. There was a streak of white, green and gold. “THIS IS IT!!” Erwin was roaring, motivating the troops. They were bloody and tired and gawking as he called for them to give their hearts, pounding the hilt of his blade to his chest in a salute, rearing up, bounding away on horseback. 

You saw the thing heading for him before he did. A shrill of adrenaline pumped through your veins. You were up on Fury’s back in seconds, unsheathing your last set of blades, aiming, firing, and slinging through the air. The titan dove for Erwin face first. There were many pairs of eyes watching terrified as it lowered its gaping maw for his side. A tooth sunk into his bicep, bringing out a spurt of blood.  
Before the whole wall of teeth could totally close on his arm, a flash of silver pushed him out of the way, bearing him up off his stallion’s back and away from the thing’s mouth with a sword rowing through its face, carving a line up to one eye. The titan reeled backwards with a hand slapping to its face, steam rising in a blinding curtain. You let one anchor go to start towards the ground with your arm in a deathgrip around the Commander’s side, your left scabbard pressed awkwardly against his right. His voice was deafening in your ear, howling for his soldiers to do their work. “ADVANCE!!!!!”  
The titan your other anchor was still inside stood up. You let Erwin drop. He was thankfully quick to catch himself, wincing with the pain in his shoulder but alive and in one piece. You arched around behind the titan with an enraged roar wrenching out your throat, buried both blades deep as they could go through the back of its neck. As you were standing below the nape, you heard deafening footfalls and twisted to see two rows of teeth stretching wide around a gaping open throat like a tunnel, belonging to a 18-meter that threw himself into a horizontal dive. You watched as though in slow motion. Muscle memory kicked in before your mind would, clicking your anchors straight into the monster’s mouth, much to the horror of the few Scouts that came over to check on their commander. "NO!!!!" "IS SHE INSANE!?!?"  
Teeth began to close. Your body was there one second then gone in a blur the next, erupting through the back of its neck in a fountain of steam and blood. It slumped forward. You were on to the next, and the next, and the next, on the kind of killing streak that would’ve gotten most dead. Erwin was about it himself, cutting across the back of another titan’s neck that tumbled over his path in pursuit of a Scout on horseback. He ordered the soldiers off and whistled for his horse and took a moment to understand the situation unfolded ahead.  
The last giant nearby crumpled and you shorted your landing, buckling to a knee and skinning it badly. You grimaced at the stinging pain but there was no time to linger, Fury came back. You grabbed a stirrup and started to haul yourself up, an aching mess humid from steam and smeared in Erwin’s blood. He appeared beside you while watching his ride trot closer. Not only could he not believe the out-of-nowhere brush he had with death, he could not _believe_ who interfered almost a millisecond too late. He saddled up. “What’s the plan?” You asked tersely, staring ahead at the mess of titans clambering up Reiner’s armor plates, gnawing and biting and leaving trails of hot spittle. Erwin smirked. He would make a Scout out of you yet. “I will handle this.” He said, departing right into the fray. With several soldiers in tow Smith closed in on the Armored, where Bertolt was up on its thick clavicle with Eren practically strapped to his back, managing to fight pure titans off of his towering friend and screaming what sounded like nonsense during this commotion. Erwin was off horseback and in the air before you registered -how- he could handle any of this, zeroed in at breakneck speed and scored a mechanically precise cut through Eren’s ties without harming the teen. As Eren tumbled free, Bertolt reached for the other Shifter, but there was nothing he could do at this rate. Not like this. Reiner needed him; they could go after Eren later.

“ALL SOLDIERS, RETREAT!!!” 

You got caught up in that same mad rush as the rest. Eventually you saw more familiar faces ride by, a few doing a double take on their way through. One of those was a very battered Oluo, with the unconscious, gearless Petra slumped with her back to his chest. He couldn’t press his horse too fast with both their weight, and you were lagging back a little since Fury isn’t nearly as speedy long-term as the scout warhorses. “Well well, look who it is!” He shouted. You glanced over at him but said nothing. His humor wasn’t welcome right now. Seeing these people so badly injured, it was…it was heart wrenching. “Did your team make it out?” You called back. An eyebrow twitched and he looked away over Petra’s head. 

Gunther…

“We’re fine!” Eld Gin yelled from behind, catching up. He was worse for wear too. And he also had Gunther on his saddle, who Oluo was stunned to see had one eye opened. Last he saw, the man should’ve been dead. He managed a very weak smile, holding a hand to his side and the other one barely grasping onto Eld’s cloak. There was no way in hell he could ride alone in his condition. Levi’s gang was torn up and bruised, but they pulled through even after shit went south for awhile there. But they made it thanks to Eren acting on his initial instinct. There was no other way they could've escaped that skinless hellion, but it came at the cost of Eren getting snapped up into her mouth after a bad tussle with her. Levi and Mikasa chased and managed to extract him, but there was no way in hell they were bringing that monstrous female titan back home with them as planned. Right now they were fortunate to be sucking air.  
And that said, this gambit still wasn’t for nothing.

The ride was perilous, and you ran out of gas before it was a third over, one sword was useless and the last one you had was snapped in half. When you stopped flying out to kill any titans threatening the withdraw it became obvious you had nothing left but to ride, which was dicey when Fury was so spent already. He really wasn’t cut out for this type of work. You were feeling the same way: burnt out, disheartened, with only one option left and knowing there was nothing else out here for you but a pair of graves. Following them through the gates felt like more like uncharted territory for you than anything before today. It was the end of a long chapter in your life. Whether that means joining up or finding a way to live on your own in one of these towns, you didn’t know what would unfold.

What you did know is that the gates were now closed behind you, and Fury was panting like a smoker on three packs a day. You held a hand on his sweat-soaked neck, heart aching. With every step, you felt sick for a home that no longer was. For the people you grew up with, who deserved better than whatever fate the Titan Shifters designed for them. There were plenty who deserved it back there, but not everyone was a scumbag in Vanaheim.

Calaneth was full of vicious whispers and nasty people. Oluo gave you Petra’s cloak before riding inside, so you could pull the hood up and blend in for now. Your situation was a weird one, right now they didn’t need that creating problems. “Keep that hood up and your head down.” Eld muttered off to your side. “We’ll be in the clear soon. I’ll find the Captain and let him know. For now, copy what the others do.” You barely nodded. This place was too unfamiliar to go screwing with them when they were now trying in their limited way to help. You hoped in your heart of hearts that this wasn’t a grievous mistake.  
You'd learn that it would not be so hard to blend in: Dot Pyxis was back in the district for this anticipated arrival, and had his soldiers make a couple barracks ready. There was such commotion stirred up that nobody paid attention to the one 'Scout' not in a complete uniform, riding the wrong type of horse and outfitted with strange gear. You kept out of the way. Medics and nurses hurried around to attend the wounded. Which was almost everybody, but the worst had priority. You climbed off Fury’s back and rubbed under his jaw. “Thank you, boy.” You whispered to the shire. “Things’ll be better now. Promise.” You kept Petra’s hood up and glanced around, noticing that Scouts were setting about their tasks. Eld found you after getting some water with the others, still trying desperately not to be noticed. “Come on.” He said, voice borderline gentle. Eld lead you inside the barracks, up some stairs, and to the offices. You walked inside and lowered your hood to see Levi Ackermann talking with Erwin Smith, who was removing his crop jacket, teeth bared for a second as fabric stuck to his wound. Eld gave a small smile and closed the door behind you. He would post up beside it so as to prevent unwanted visitors from barging in.

You pulled the cloak off and put it aside. “Decided to return with us this time, I see.” Erwin remarked coolly, a hand on his ripped shoulder. You stared across at him. “I can leave.” What more could be said?  
“Tch, don’t be stupid.” Levi, who was now putting his back to the door. You heard him put a booted foot flat against it, punctuating the point that nobody’s going anywhere. Definitely not yourself. “Sorry I couldn’t spare the shoulder.” You said at last and found a spot to sit down without being invited to. Erwin raised an eyebrow and glanced at Levi. “Actually, I never thanked you for what you did.” He said slowly, watching you. It was hard to forget the way you went after that titan once he was safe on the ground. He had a first row view. You looked like a woman possessed. He had a feeling this went hand in hand with hitting on him last time, but he also couldn’t be positive. “You’re welcome.” He watched your eyes skim around the room constantly, probably searching out a quick escape. There was something very…wild…about you, very out of place in here. He assumed you had a rough go of it after they left. “What are your intentions going forward?” The Commander asked, continuing to hold his shoulder. Your eyes fell upon his larger blue ones. “I don’t know.” You admitted.  
“You don’t want to return to Vanaheim?”  
“Vanaheim’s gone.” You answered. “Nothing but bones and charcoal for five months now. I’ve been on my own.” You rolled your eyes. “Is this the, ‘we told you so’ moment?”

“Yes.”  
“No.”  
“Yes or no?”

Erwin gave Levi a ‘back off’ glance and returned his gaze to yours. “No. There’s no sense in that.” He said and lifted his hand to check on the gouge in his arm. It was not actively bleeding, but it was still raw. “Pressing you into service would be poor repayment for the past. That said, you are quite welcome to join us, or find somewhere to settle down. Though I’m certain General Pyxis will want some input if you decide on the latter and remain here in Calaneth as it is under his jurisdiction.”

“Uh,” You began and faltered. Really? They weren’t making assumptions. Strange. “I heard how they talk. Reminds me too much of the assholes back in Vanaheim. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.” You shook your head, casting your stare out the window to what buildings you could see. How could there be so many packed tight together, and in such good condition? This place is HUGE, the roads are clean and stone paved, there’s people freaking **everywhere.** The ones you saw looked well fed and healthy. “Added to that shit about taxes and fattening up the titans, when’s the last time they checked a mirror? They’re alive right, what the hell’re they complaining for?”

Levi’s eyes glinted. He didn’t like hearing that bullshit either every time they rode out. It was interesting to hear an outsider’s opinion. “I mean, do they put two and two together? It’s bad out there, but there’s always the fact it would get worse if the titan population isn’t cut back.”

The Commander didn’t react to that. He was too experienced to let any of the common man’s nonsense bother him. “This is a big decision that you shouldn’t make rashly.” Erwin said with an obvious hint of warning. “That’s just it, though.” You turned your face back towards him. “I’d rather stick with the only people familiar around here.” A grumble. “Does this mean I need to roll over on command?”

“_Oh_ yeah.” Levi piped up immediately. “The whole nine yards.” Ignoring Levi’s already savage glee (or what passes for ‘glee’ with Levi), Erwin held his hand out. You arose, hesitated for a half a moment, and clapped your palm into his for a firm handshake. 

Welcome to the Survey Corps, maggot.


	9. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're about to have a rough morning, but you'll get to meet with those cute lil' titan killing cadets afterwards.

Reunion

The Regiment began trickling through Calaneth, with only those in the worst condition lingering behind. Some had leave requested prior to the 57th so that they could visit with their families if they lived long enough, but plenty were headed through Calaneth’s inner gate opened into the territory between Wall Rose and Wall Sina. Before you could do the same a few things had to happen.  
First was a genuine uniform. You already said that you would prefer to stay with the Scouting Legion. It was agreed that a uniform should be issued since your own things were very ratty and patched, making your current condition totally unacceptable. A female Garrison officer named Cora was assigned to get you outfitted for now. Before you could don this uniform though you were dunked into a piping hot bath with lots of jasmine soap. You went through this rigorous bathing process twice before putting pants and a top on. You were now feeling very much as though the top ten layers of skin were stripped off (“I’m making sure you don’t have fleas” Cora reasoned, which you didn’t). It’s not as though you didn’t wash up out on the run, but…_that_ was usually in a body of water with fresh herbs pulverized into a paste to keep from smelling ripe. 

Cora circled as you stood still for her in uniform, with your hair soaking a spot into the one shirt she could find at a moment’s notice: a black button down donated by a kindly private close to your size, its fit was a bit slim and it was a little worn in. The remainder of what she gave you was what she could scrounge together on a moment's notice, and most of it was repurposed from a dead soldier's wardrobe. There was only so much they could do on the spot, with the Garrison Regiment being so huge there was a strain on supply and demand for them also. This included outfitting, so whatever you needed would have to be taken care of by the Scout Quartermaster later.

Barely content with your appearance as is, Cora roughly grasp a handful of your locks to examine the ends. You had to actively resist shoving her into the boards for that move. At this point your nerves were as frayed as your hair at being handled so forcibly. The only thing you had to address all hair-related hygiene concerns was a razor-sharp folding knife. “We have standards around here, you know. I can’t believe you let yourself go like this, what’s wrong with you, Private? Were you raised in a _barn?_” She grumbled haughtily in her North Mitras accent, setting about your head with a pair of shears. “Cut off too much and I’m freaking cutting YOU.” You snarled, trying extra hard not to lose it. She hesitated at the amount of venom in your tone. Something told her that this is no bluff. Having been told ‘there’s this soldier that needs a bit of help’, she was working under the impression that you were being intentionally disgusting.  
Nonetheless, Cora continued her job of making you presentable. Your old things were crammed in a trash barrel and you now smelled of jasmine with freshly trimmed hair swept neatly into a ponytail. _Now_ you looked more like a soldier, sans regiment jacket. Cora stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Perfect. Now you don’t look like a gutter rat. Or smell like one, either.”

“Fine then, I won’t ask how you know what gutter rats smell like.” Your snide response was spoken through your teeth. “No Private, you will not.” Cora retorted bravely. “Here. You ought to return this.” She offered Petra’s cloak back, which was quickly laundered while the same was happening to you. You snatched it from her and left, deigning to forget this woman existed. She had no manners whatsoever. You were not ailing for kindness or anything, but she really didn’t help this whole ‘trying-to-feel-like-I-didn’t-make-a-mistake’ problem.

The top floor of the barracks was full of veterans and senior staff, with Petra and Gunther laid up in cots in a corner room. Eld and Oluo were elsewhere, as was their Captain Levi. Petra didn’t recognize you at first until you drew close enough and obviously Gunther never met you before, but he heard plenty enough to figure it out. “WOW, they got you good.” Gunther laughed as you offered Petra her green cloak back. She smiled widely at you. “How do you feel?” She patted her bedside. You sat down as bade, placing the folded cloak aside. “Like I’ve been violated.”  
“Yep, welcome to the military.” Gunther chuckled. “Where there’s no such thing as modesty.”  
“It’s not that so much as the bitch they had ‘HELPING’ me,” You put emphasis on the irony in that word. “She was kind of…well…she pissed me off.” Petra’s expression hardened for a second there. “You didn’t hurt her, did you?”

“No no no, _I’m_ the one who got mauled. Can’t you tell?”  
Petra relaxed. “Good. She was only following orders. You’ll be familiar with that soon.”  
“Anyway, thanks for the loan.”  
Gunther exchanged looks with Petra, and she turned her face back towards you. “Actually, I want you to hang onto that for me. Until we get back to headquarters, then you’ll get your own.” She motioned. “Incidentally, you both haven’t met. This is Gunther Schultz. He was on leave when we met. Gunther, this is Hazard.” She paused, realizing that this is insufficient. “You know you’ll have to give us your name, right?”

“Good to meet you, Gunther. You weren’t missing anything.” You glossed over the ginger’s question. Gunther grinned. “I’ve heard. Anyway ‘Hazard’, that’s a nickname right? What’s your real one?”

“…” You were quiet, having shifted so you were sitting on an empty cot and could easier address both veterans, fixing them with the same type of hard stare they had. Your reaction was peculiar to them. Most are proud of their names, but both only sensed reticence. Right when the silence was getting awkward:

“Aaltonen. My family name is Aaltonen.”

_Calaneth; an Hour Ago, Garrison Office…_

Pyxis spoke with Erwin about this after his wound was sewn up. “Now you’re telling me this woman claims she was born and raised outside the walls? If that is true, she will have to swear fealty to the Crown you know. And probably denounce her own parent’s actions as deserters someday.” The older man mused aloud. They were playing chess. Smith almost always took the ivory side. Dot watched him close rough fingers around a bishop and move it diagonally, taking an ebony knight in the process and putting this displaced figure off the side of their board. Dot was not tipsy enough to lose his poker face over that. “I know.” Erwin assented. “Though I also believe we can spare making a big deal of it. She is but one woman. One woman shouldn’t be seen as a threat to the council in Mitras except that she represents something they seem to fear.”

“That it’s possible to live outside this domain. I know it.” Pyxis contemplated the board. “How’s that feel, to finally find life beyond? I never got to ask.”

“Unusual.” Erwin said calmly. “To tell you the truth, I kept my initial report vague. The Premier had questions as we both suspected he would about what happened afield. But he never sought out additional clarification. I was fully expecting that he would want to read both reports from Section Commanders Miche and Hange.” He watched Pyxis hesitate to make his next move. He was getting boxed in and would settle for taking a rook. “If you could lie about the whole thing this would be much easier on you. Too many were involved.”  
“Indeed.” Erwin studied the board and shifted in place to get more comfortable. His shoulder thudded with a dull ache in response, something it’s been doing on and off after the stitches were closed. Perhaps they were pulled almost too tight by that one weary doctor. But he was far from complaining. Having been eye level with a set of teeth trying to pull his whole body in, Erwin knew he was fortunate to be alive and in one piece. Let’s see…that’s twice this wild woman intervened. Now he was faced with deciding her future in the Regiment. This felt like a heavier task than it ought to.  
They played their game out for another fifteen minutes with Dot’s actions getting slower and more methodical, which is generally how his opponent would play the whole game. “The 105th Cadet Corp is filling up; they’ll start training in a month probably. Are you putting her in with them?”

“Technically she is more advanced than that, it would be a waste to bother. We already know her capabilities and she’s agreed to join with the Scouts.” Erwin moved his King back a pace and waited on Pyxis. “This is a precarious situation. I wouldn’t want to expose it to the Cadet Corps, especially considering how many drop out.”  
“Hah! True. Loose lips and that.” Smith wasn’t watching anything but the chessboard, but he heard Pyxis take a quaff from his flask. Whatever he had this time was particularly odoriferous. “But who’s going to teach her manners?” A pale joke which received no acknowledgement. “I’m told she has the posture of a feral cat. Think she’ll prove loyal?”

Erwin did look up now. It bothered him a little that Pyxis thought that, but the old codger wasn’t wrong either. “Dot, she was alone in the wilderness for five months. I would not expect her to acclimate immediately. Providing an adjustment period is only fair.” Regarding loyalty, however, he felt that your behavior spoke for itself. As he watched a move place his King in danger of being taken, Smith thought back to the instant where a solid object collided with his body; sweeping him out of harm’s way with a less severe injury. The whole while he demanded that his soldiers press the advance. He remembered looking up after to see your form bearing down on the goliath who tasted his blood. Were he anybody else, he would have almost felt sorry for what that thing got itself into. You were mortal rage made flesh; beautiful and free and fierce, unafraid of what others thought as you bolted in another mastodon’s maw and out the other side. Now you were in this cage _with_ them.

Wait, what was he thinking? _Beautiful?_ Get a grip, Smith.

“As usual your reaction is to wait and see.” Pyxis remarked. “Well, Dhalis won’t hear anything from me. I’m too curious to see how this experiment of yours pans out. It’s a bit different than the first one.” Meaning Levi, naturally. When he thought he had Smith cornered, Pyxis found himself in checkmate two moves later. But what he couldn’t shake is that Erwin’s disposition was different all over again. Whenever they played chess, he always felt like this younger Commander was playing cat and mouse with him until he got what he needed out of their conversations. Then it was over with before he could blink.  
Pyxis was a little sick of being the mouse, but the other’s ruthlessness is what gave him hope for the future. With a person like Erwin Smith running the Scouts Regiment, he really did feel sorry for those titans out there and anybody else in his way.

_Hours Later at Survey Corps HQ…_

A castle.  
Headquarters is a fucking CASTLE.

You have seen this exact fortress sketched in Father’s hand, but those were drawings. _This_ is the real deal. It was a hulking tan mass rising high above the trees, vast and forbidding. You had an idea of the size of it from far off, but now that you were leading Fury into the stables, it was even more imposing up close. Did each regiment have a castle?

“You’ve been quiet.” You looked over at Eld’s voice. He was charged with keeping an eye on you for now, since he wasn’t as injured as the others it should be easy. Plus, he already knew your situation and he was generally comfortable to deal with. “Taking everything in?”

“I’ve seen this place in a sketch. Being here in person is very different. It’s a little like a storybook coming to life.” You admitted, leading Fury to the stall across from where Eld already walked his bay in. “The novelty wears off pretty quick.” He said. “By the way, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you’ll be using a proper warhorse from now on. I don’t know what they’ll want to do with yours.” He looked at the shire who was not acting himself. Fury was worn thin in these past months. Riding around on horseback kept you safe, and while sturdy, he is not meant for that life. You sadly patted along the shire’s jaw. “I had a feeling.”

“Don’t worry about him. I’m sure they’ll figure something out.”  
“Know what, Eld?” You said, turning back to the blond and watching him remove his saddle. “It’s pathetic, but this horse is the only living being that hasn’t tried to kill me for a while. If I seem attached, it’s because I raised him. He’s kept me alive.”  
“Not pathetic.” Eld said distractedly. “Human, though. If you came back with us before you would’ve been spared the heartache.”  
“You’re the first one other than Erwin and Levi with the balls to say it directly. I’m that transparent, huh?”

He tried to smile. It did not shine through. “That’s _Commander_ Erwin and _Captain_ Levi, now. But sort of. You have that look about you. Most here have experienced the same pain of loss somewhere down the line.” A short pause. “You know Eren, right? Him and his two best friends come from Shiganshina. That’s the wreck of a district at Wall Maria we passed through. They were kids when it happened.”  
“Mikasa told me.” You said, removing Fury’s saddle. “I might be homesick, but I’m not broken hearted over every life lost in Vanaheim. That’s selfish I know, but it’s not possible to carry the burden of so many corpses on your back without folding.”  
“Well said.” Eld detected a familiar weight to the footsteps approaching, with the clip-clop of hooves close accompanying. Speak of the devil. It was none other than Eren Yeager himself, who blessedly missed the Shiganshina conversation. “Oh, hey there.” He said to Eld, sounding weary. The blond nodded to him. His 104th friends were off elsewhere, as they’re not in the Special Ops Squad their ponies were stabled elsewhere. Eren did a doubletake and peeked around the stall, staring. “Who…WHA—Haz?! What’re you DOING here?!?!”  
You looked at the teen. “I didn’t know where else to stable my horse, so I followed Eld.” You said, pointing. “What, did I do something wrong already?”

“N-no! I uh…I didn’t realize you were here.” The fact that he was so gob smacked made it dawn on you. “You thought I would’ve been killed by now.” This is not a question, more of a quiet observation. His expression confirmed this. “Sorry.”

“Don’t look so guilty.” You told Eren. “I’m not offended.”  
He brightened. “Wait so if you’re stabled up here, are you going to be on Levi Squad with us?” He asked. Unless you were mistaken, he sounded hopeful. “I have no clue, I’m not an official soldier or anything. In Trost they thought it’d be best if I looked the part for now.”  
“Commander Smith is probably figuring that out.” Eld said calmly. “Putting it bluntly, he’s not the sort to leave someone beneficial twisting in the wind.” Eren winced on hearing that. It sounded so…well…_cold_ when put that way, but he knew it’s true having been in a precarious situation of his own. Didn’t stop him from thinking that sounded frigid, especially when he could tell that you like their Commander. He has observed the way you used to talk to him, but there would be a damper on that once he officially becomes your superior. Connecting with the whole gang on a personal level without titles getting in the way and then going right into being considered beneath them status-wise was going to be a bitter pill. It would mean even those from the 104th were in the military longer than you, despite that you had a whole lifetime of training ahead of them. 

As he worked on removing his horse’s bridle, he wondered how any of that was meant to work. If you a soldier to begin with, your actions outside of Vanaheim in saving what remained of their unit would have normally meant a commendation of some type and ideally a promotion. Since you were _not_ and those actions of before can’t be considered, you’re starting at square one even below the cadets. They talked a little about this as a ‘what if’ scenario before. Armin was positive that you would acquit yourself bravely. Mikasa felt the same. Eren simply was not sure what to think because it bothered him that they never learned the specifics of their rescue though it was months ago. With so much happening, people were just content not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  
Speaking of which, his warmblood was whickering and nosing for attention. He caved and gave neck rubs. 

Eld finished up and you did too, shouldering what few items you had left in an aged leather sling pack. Eren was too busy to offer more than a distracted “Bye guys.”, you walked through with Eld and noticed how many Scouts were attending to their steeds. “They look kind of peaceful.” You remarked, shielding your eyes as they adjusted to the waning afternoon light. Eld glanced over at what you were referring to and nodded. “We’re not so different you know. Most end up being as attached to their horses as you are. They _do_ help to keep us alive and taking care of them isn’t glamorous, but sometimes it’s the only peace and quiet anybody can get.”  
“But not you?”  
“Me, I’ve lost a few too many of them. The Captain’s on his second horse since starting, Petra’s on her third, Oluo and Gunther both have their first warhorse, I think. It’s luck. Titans don’t go looking for them, but they still manage to kill a pony or so.” He sighed a little, reaching back to thread his fingers through the short ponytail he sported today. You watched him talk. Gin seemed kind of glad to have a way to occupy his mind unless you were mistaken. The Giant Forest was a mean situation that nearly got him killed. “Can I ask what happened back there, or would you rather I not?”

Grass gave way to worn stone pavers. The yard before the keep was bustling along the edges, and some were up on the sides with their gear while wearing bandanas, scrubbing windows in anticipation of a certain neat freak’s arrival. You kept in stride with Eld realizing it was overstepping to ask, but then, he didn’t seem unapproachable over the subject either. “Trouble is, I don’t know that you’re cleared to hear the whole story.” He lingered on the thought. “What we did in there nearly wiped out the entire squad. If it weren’t for Eren changing when he did, I wouldn’t be here. It was against orders, we asked him to trust us, but…everything went sideways.” He shook his head regretfully. “We underestimated that freak.” 

“Calling Eren a freak after that? Harsh.”  
“No. The Female Titan. 14-meter skinless freak.” He held his hand up over his own head as though to measure an unseen host’s height. “You know about the Titan Shifters, right? Was she one of them?”  
“There was a girl who turned into a small hunched-over titan with a whole mouthful of fangs, but she came out looking male. She also didn’t hang around. That bitch hauled ass out of town, and she wasn't with Zeke’s party afterwards. Or so I'm told, I never saw her up close and personal.” You said. “But a skinless titan with _female_ anatomy? No, I've never seen one, nor did I think such a thing existed. Though maybe that could explain those high-pitched screams we heard across the Reach.”

“What? When was this?”  
“You stayed behind with your knee up, sound familiar? How is that anyway, I was sure you broke it but you’re clearly walking normal now.”  
“Right. Oh, I get twinges on bad days. But otherwise it healed nicely, thanks.”  
“I’m glad. Can’t have a Scout with a broken wing, yeah?”

Eld smirked at that. Inside the castle enough windows let sunlight in, illuminating the corridors with warm light. They were not large enough for a titan to fit through. You kept your head on the swivel, checking around and attempting to make a mental map. Eld had to drop the titan shifter topic now that they’d be in earshot of others not privy to that knowledge. “I’m bringing you to Section Commander Hange’s lab. It goes without saying that you can’t talk about what you see in there, but she’s requested your presence.”  
Being passed off to a nutjob. Perfect. “Thanks for your help, Eld.”  
“You’re welcome. Listen, things are going to be fine. Try to catch your breath and you’ll be settled in before you know it.” He opened a door for you to go through, tucked far back in the fortress where Hange gets to play with her toys. You went inside, feeling awkward and very much like a nuisance about to be sent around from spot to spot.

Hange collided with you before Moblit could speak a word, she was nothing but hugs and giggles and madness as usual. “YAY you’re here! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!! You can meet my children and we can do experiments and it’s GOING TO BE AMAAAAAZIIIIING~!”

“I’m uh…not the best with kids…” 

“Nonsense, those two boys loved you and I know mine will too!”  
It suddenly didn’t feel like you had skinny, steely arms twisted about your midsection. You felt a twinge of remorse at remembering those kids. You didn’t know what became of them. There was a pile of burnt bodies in the square. Theirs could be amid them. “I’m really not---oh.” 

Titans. The boys she was so proud of are _titans_. Hange let go and bounced in place. “Aren’t they just the cutest? Look at these chubby widdle fingers~” She cooed, poking at a large hand stapled down by metal rods chained in place. The titan was so tightly bound, it could only rattle its bindings and make distressed, incoherent noises. The other one was quiet and watching, probably waiting to try and score its next meal. “Does the rest of the castle know these things are here?” You asked incredulously. “Of course, silly. They helped.” Hange chimed and strode to one of her many messy workbenches. Moblit Berner stood next to you and put his clip board aside. “Welcome to the R&D division. Our Section Commander’s a little--” He searched for a polite word. “…_energetic_, but we are responsible for learning more about our enemy. Cadet Arlert said that you had some firsthand information regarding the Titan Shifters?”

“Regrettably so.” You said, watching Hange jump around the room like a cricket. “I’m not official or anything, you know that right?”

“Ah, yes. The Section Commander wanted to talk to you before that happens.” Moblit knew how foreboding that sounded. He didn’t like it, but he’s also doing what his commanding officer insists on. Hange wasn’t likely to start beating the information out of you, but if she had to, it’d be off the record. This would be a fact checking session against what Armin Arlert relayed to them from what was in that book if you held on to it. “Do you have your Father’s book? May I see it?”  
You dropped your pack off your shoulder and removed said book from within. “This goes without saying, but there’s some things of a personal nature in there. I could tell that Armin isn’t one to blab, but I barely know you or Hange. We didn’t exactly talk much before.”  
“I understand. We’ll be discreet.” Berner promised. “In the meantime, please make yourself comfortable. We’ll be with you shortly.” He opened the weathered book and began skimming through as he brought it over to Hange, who stopped buzzing long enough to read along with him. You walked over to the titans again and put a hand on one of their chains, fingers sliding along several dense links. The monster pinned by them watched you with eyes bigger than your head. You didn’t often find yourself in a situation where you could study one of these things, much less where one sat still enough that it appeared to be doing the same. This guy had less of an oafish expression than his slobbering fellow, who has been continually braying for blood with a whole room deaf to his cries. You watched Hange wiggle with excitement over something that Moblit was reading and turned back to the big quiet bastard. “Who's to say you shouldn’t be studying us instead, huh?” You rattled his chain for emphasis. He tried to lean forth, jaws parting and snapping shut with a jarring ‘CLACK’ but would never reach close enough. His breath was wretched enough to make you turn away and find a spot to sit.  
There were a couple old sofas along one wall with knee-level tables, which were laden with more research materials, coffee and teacups, saucers, stained soup bowls and spoons, and a neglected packet of cookies being swarmed with ants. You sat further away from this, the tin cup beside it smelled of sour milk. You pushed a pillow and a gray blanket aside and settled down with your bag dropping to the floor. 

This is naturally when Hange and Moblit handed off the book to a couple others who came in, and the Section Commander would come hurrying over with Moblit keeping up. “Why didn’t you say sooner that you’re an Aaltonen?!” She exclaimed. “Do you have any idea how _amazing_ that is? We thought we lost him!”

“’Him’? Him who? My Father?”

Moblit faltered. “Er…IS Angel Aaltonen your father? The flyleaf has ‘A. Aaltonen’ written in a corner, right above your name.”  
“No, the old man’s name was Abel. Angel is my Grandfather. I’ve only ever heard stories of the guy.” You watched Hange seem to build up with excitement and began wondering if she was reaching critical mass. “Angel Aaltonen is rumored to be the second human being to kill a titan, the King of Inventions himself who brought the first set of ODM gear to life! If the Scouts had royalty, he’d be it.”  
“You’re, like, a little _too_ happy about this.” You were leaning back when she got in your face, hands on your shoulders. “I thought you wanted to hear what I know about the Titan Shifters, are we going to talk about my dead family tree instead?”  
“Dead? _ Is_ he dead?”  
“Hell if I know. I’m told he was a blind, sick old codger with a bad gimp when my old man left the Stohess Underground for the Cadet Corps. I figure he would be in his mid to late 80’s by now if he’s around.” You answered. “But that is how my Father got into engineering, Grandfather passed on what he knew. Then Father said he wanted to figure out a way to prevent more soldiers from dying and if Grandfather wouldn’t, he would instead.” Hange’s hands loosened. She stepped back, the warmth and weight of her palms thankfully leaving your shoulders. Hearing something like that about a man who would later turn into a deserter was a little heavy. What drove him out? Was he completely unable to press on in his ambitions? She figured answers were in that book, but for now, Hange chose to lay off the family talk. Especially with the look she was getting from Moblit, who noticed your discomfort before she did.

“Right!” She slapped her cheeks as though to wake up. “Tell me what you know about these Titan Shifters. Leave nothing out. I want _allllll_ the nasty details.” 

And you would have to talk and answer questions without end until the late hours of the evening.

_The Next Morning…_

You were slowly waking up with a rancid stink reaching in your nose, but what really got your eyes to open was a heated discussion in the hallway. Evidently you were both missed both at dinner and breakfast, but Hange simply ate in her office while making notes and unintentionally avoided the whole castle. A pocket watch broken open on the table claimed that it was now 11:25. You had no idea if it was on time, but you sat up feeling stiff as a board. Hange stayed up very late extracting information from you even after her whole team had to turn in. You eyed the burnt-out candle nub beside your teacups and rubbed your eyes. Judging from the way things were left, Hange nor her people had been in here for hours. They really left you alone with those two titans. Fine, at least the things can’t move. In the dark they went completely inactive until the sun would filter in by morning, invigorating them but not enough to break free. Still...kind of disturbing.

When the door was slammed open hard against the wall, you saw Hange giggling nervously with her back facing through the threshold, backing up slowly. Levi turned and saw you sitting up with the makings of bags under your eyes, but his withering stare wouldn’t go much further when the stench hit him full on, making the Captain turn back into the hall. WHEW that’s a smell. Kind of makes the eyes water. “You made her sleep in that _filth_, Four-Eyes?” He pointed, voice becoming more subzero than you’ve heard prior. Even Hange got a shiver, and normally she is immune to his crazy.

“What? It’s a place to sleep, we were up talking until—”  
“I don’t care what pathetic excuse you have lined up; this is DISGUSTING.”  
“We’ve been busy with the titans!”  
“Maybe you’re not hearing me, Shitty Glasses!” You thought for sure he was going to rip her spine out and feed it to her. All you could do was keep sitting there and watching owlishly. Your stomach wanted to protest its emptiness, but the smell wafting over was a bit much. When you heard the rattle of chains you looked across and immediately saw what made it worse than last night: the noisier of the two titans spit up a fleshy, bony, gluey wad of spume and was sitting in the middle of it. The smell hit in another wave and you felt your belly start to pinch.

Pinching, and pinching, and…grabbing your bag, running, and running...there was a bathroom across the hall. “Hange, barely taking care of yourself is one thing, but—” You barged right by them and made it inside, managing to puke where the spew could be flushed. Levi’s expression became flatter if possible. Great. Now you’re vomiting, hopefully you made it in the toilet. Worse: the toilet Hange’s people are supposed to keep clean. The Section Commander held her hands up. “Come on Shorty we have bigger fish to fry than picking up a few dishes, you know that.” 

“I’ll deal with her from here.” He said, hearing you rinse and spit with a splash of water from the skin kept in your bag. You stepped back out after the shakes passed, now paler than either has ever seen you. “Sorry about that.” You weakly apologized. “I suggest holding your breath when you go in there Hange. One of your babies spit up all over himself.”

“Whaaaa?! They didn’t---” Hange peered inside. “Oh. OOOOH.” She never did have their stomachs excavated. Dammit, that’s a mess and a half. As if Shorty wasn’t livid already. On that note, she felt this would be a perfect chance to change the subject before he _did_ rip her spine out and feed it to her. “Haaaz, I would’ve brought you to a room. Why didn’t you say something?!” Hange demanded. You stared at her, absorbing her stressed tone and knowing you were too tired and woozy to put up much of a fight. “I did. Don’t you remember putting me off?” Her eyes went wide. Did she seriously---well, when she went to get more tea and came back, you had dozed off sitting up. By then it was almost 4AM, she decided it’d be polite not to wake you and left to continue reading the journal. She was too wired. When you tipped into the couch cushions later you became an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ factor hidden by the stacks of clutter on the tables. Now she honestly felt like an ass. This was not a good introduction to their side of the wall.

You would follow Levi away silently while Hange went to collect her lab assistants and some supplies to clean up this most recent disaster. 

As Levi led the way he heard you rustle around and pull something from your pack, then shouldered it. The scent of mint reached his nose, he checked behind him to see your haggard self placing a serrated green leaf between your teeth, grinding it a little to release the menthol. “Eating leaves now? What, you’re that desperate?”  
“This is for my breath. I’d rather not taste vomit.” You rubbed the back of your neck, trying to extract a large knot. “I don’t even know how I slept in there. She wouldn’t stop talking. Doesn’t she need food or sleep?”  
Levi, who mostly subsists on caffeine and little sleep, was not one to talk about that. But he did agree about a couple things: bad breath and the Section Commander’s nonsense. “That’s Hange for you. Doesn’t shut the fuck up about her work.” The Captain’s irritation was dying down to manageable levels now. That woman knows better; you have no idea what is where in this place, perhaps she thought she was being nice letting you crash on a lab couch. Levi personally didn’t see it as doing a favor for anyone. Not when the place is a rat’s nest with a couple of titans hunkered in the corner. Which weren’t supposed to _be_ there, they must have been hauled in through the large double doors now hidden behind the beasts. Hange also knew better than to endanger her own team’s lives needlessly, her allocated places to keep test subjects were in the Pit or at the outpost. “Well she’s pleasant anyway, but more oblivious than anyone I’ve met.”

“You don’t need to try and say nice things about her. Everybody knows what she can be like.”

“Alright. Thanks for getting me out of there.”  
“...” He knew that he should start getting on your case about addressing superiors appropriately, but considering the situation he pulled you from, Levi decided against that for now. You aren’t part of the military quite yet anyhow. First thing first; you needed to be shown where you are meant to sleep, and ground rules would be set. “You can explore if you want. Don’t go getting into shit that doesn’t belong to you.”  
“Obviously.” You watched him stop by a door. It was decided that since you are more familiar with them, you’d be staying in the same hall as his team. He could keep an eye on you this way, and it was also determined that this was safer since you still present unknown factors. Gunther, Eld, Petra and Oluo each know you, and they agreed to help you along for now. Since they’re model soldiers to begin with, this would make it simpler for you to pick up on specific mannerisms.  
And though your house hadn’t been to Levi’s scrupulous standards, you were also one woman in a large place managing to keep the home tidy enough considering. The adjustment shouldn’t be too harsh this way. Erwin believed sticking you into the same living space with the teens from the 104th was asking for trouble. Not only are they the wrong age group, they don’t present an ideal situation and he wasn’t positive they could be relied on for certain things the way their veterans could.

“This is where you’ll sleep.” He motioned with his head through an open door, to a stone room the same size as the others in this hall with exception to his. “You’re expected to keep it clean at all times. My office is end of the hall.” Levi watched you put your sling pack down on the mattress beside a small stack of perfectly starched linens. Based on a glance the room is very simple and impersonal: a side table next to the full sized wooden bed, sheets and a gray blanket to cover it, two narrow windows and a closet. You chose not to soak much more in, leaving your bag and coming right back out of the rounded archway. “Doesn’t look too easy to make a mess of.” You remarked. Levi pushed off and headed back out of the hall, expecting you to follow. He moves with such confidence. Your own gait had been robbed of the same quality, but you decided to fake it until you got that back, which would happen once you got the lay of the land. Seeing that room was a relief after being in the wilds so long. Now there would be a proper roof over your head and ‘bed’ was not a frayed roll of leather and fabric. “Questions?” You heard his voice ask gruffly. It was clear this man had other things to do, he was trying to make up for the nonsense of this morning in some way. “Yeah. Should I take this to mean I’m working with your team or Hange’s?”

“That’s up to Commander Erwin.” He said crisply, leading you towards the mess hall. As you didn’t have anything to eat last night or this morning and the clock was pushing lunch hour, may as well get there early so he could get back to work. They operate off rations and since you don’t have any attached to your name yet, himself or another officer would need to raid the larder on your behalf, or _you_ don’t get to eat. It was less of a pain for him, Levi was known to do this anyhow. He needed caffeine and tea is his favorite source. There wasn’t anyone else in the hall, it’d be another 45 minutes before people started turning up. Having little else to do you followed him and waited a comfortable distance away while he prepared a teapot and grabbed out some bread. You kept in sight, looking around without touching anything. He appreciated that you weren’t crowding him or being annoyingly insistent on helping. If anything you were happy to let him be. 

You don’t count the minutes between start and finish, but soon Levi was motioning for you to follow him and sit. There was the teapot, two steaming cups of tea and some brown bread. “You need more than a damn leaf.” He said. You sat down across from him, wondering if this was one of the last opportunities you’d be able to talk to this man as anything approaching ‘equals’. “You surprise me, Levi.”

His bluegrays raised from over his cup as he placed it down. “What?”

“We weren’t exactly good to one another before.” You said calmly, breaking off a part of the bread. “I’m a firm believer that familiarity breeds contempt. I’d rather we don’t antagonize one another if we’re staying in the same hall.” Your smirk was fleeting. “Not that it wasn’t amusing while it lasted.” There was some sexual tension that you were long certain was never due to be satiated. His gaze lingered on your form in his thoughts. It _was_ kind of fun, your strange yet short game of teasing, but that’s because he didn’t stick around. “Familiarity doesn’t always breed contempt.” He said at last. “Idiots on the other hand,” He drawled this as Eren, Armin, Jean, Mikasa and Connie followed an overly happy Sasha Brouse into the mess hall, with the latter prancing in anticipation of food. Your back was to them and you didn’t follow Levi’s gaze at first, but you heard them chattering. Now you did glance back. They hadn’t noticed they weren’t alone. You raised your eyebrows at the Captain. “Eren asked me if I’ll be working with your team the other day. He’s basically still a cadet, isn’t he?”

“His status as a Titan Shifter changed things. I have to keep an eye on him.”

“Babysitting a shifter! I don’t envy you that.” You said, twisting to watch them over your shoulder for a second longer. “Not that Eren’s been particularly monstrous, but I saw one throw a full-on temper tantrum. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen what looks like a grown man in a suit of armor stomping around like an oversized child.”

“Oh, Yeager _does_ have his little tantrums. It’s fucking annoying.” Levi agreed, savoring his tea from beneath that strange overhand grip. You were appreciating it too. The teas you had been used to were blends of herbs picked in the foothills, usually violet, lavender or mint. Never once was there an _actual_ tea plant in the mix. It tasted much smoother, less herbal, with a touch of something you couldn’t place. Spite, perhaps.  
“Don’t you want any of this bread?”

“No. That’s yours.” He watched the brats sharply, knowing that something’s up once the volume dropped around their little clique. “Are you trying to catch them out?” You asked, watching his focus. “Sounds innocent enough, I can hear some of it. They’re just muttering that somebody—probably hearing this wrong, Ahmeer or Immer…Ymir?... has ‘brandy’. Sounds like brandy. A couple of them are saying it’s a bad idea.”

He was lipreading from those he could see, noticing that you were right. Apparently you had better hearing than he did or were otherwise barely close enough to easier make sense of it, but then, he used to be like that himself. When Levi came off the Underground with Farlan and Isabel, the three of them had overly keen hearing developed purely as a survival mechanism. Having titans bellowing at point-blank range reduced that, but he suspected the habit would return if he was, say, stuck in the wilds long enough. “Yeah, something-something about later---what?” You stopped and watched the Captain, who had fixed you with a slightly severe glare that didn’t feel fully intended for you. “Ah. They’re not supposed to have this brandy stuff? What is it, some kind of candy? They sound excited.” 

He was a bit annoyed, needing more details. “It’s a form of alcohol. Can you hear when and where?”  
You went quiet and subtly cocked an ear, listening while he continued to lipread who he could from over his teacup. Though not having planned to be a nark, it was too late now. You had no clue them having this brandy stuff might be a big deal. Your parents let you take sips of alcohol early on as a kid to remove the mystery of it, but in Vanaheim there was only ever the same rotgut moonshine. Whatever. They were bound to get themselves found out eventually. The officers had been wondering who the hell was stealing from their sealed cabinet. It was suspected for a while now that someone around here knew how to pick locks. “—sounds as though they plan on meeting with Jean and a girl named Christa behind the stables after they finish their work.”

“Thank you for the invite.” He said icily. It was a shame they were going to get nabbed. When Levi was their age he _never_ got caught like that. “Mind not mentioning my involvement?” You asked. He lifted an eyebrow. “I would prefer not being thought of as a rat.” He could appreciate that. They don’t like narks, and as it stands Erwin was trying to ferret out the one they suspected having. Levi said as much. “Rats don’t survive long around here. You also didn’t know what you were hearing. I can let that slide.”  
You finished your bread and tea, choosing to let your silence speak for itself. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. But on the flipside, they surely knew they might get caught which was undoubtedly part of the thrill. If they weren’t observant enough to avoid that, more’s the pity. 

“I don’t know what’s in this tea, but it’s better than anything I’ve had.”  
“It’s from Mitras.” He answered, watching you turn the cup in hand. “Is your stomach settled?”  
“Yeah I’ll be fine. Thank you again. You surely have more to worry about than minding me. I want to explore anyway, get the lay of the land.” _’I’ll feel better if I know where the fuck I am. Dammit.’_

“Whatever. Don’t head back towards R&D for awhile if you know what’s good for you.” Levi advised, standing up after finishing his tea. Having seen in the kitchen were dirty things were placed, you stopped him before he gathered your cup and plate. “I’ll deal with it. You ‘cooked’, I’ll clean. I saw where these go anyway.” Levi was actually surprised at this gesture and nodded, pulling his jacket down at the bottom hem to straighten it out more to his liking. “Then I’ll be in my office.” He strode off.  
“Later.” You collected the few bits of china from the table, brought them in, placing them by a sink where others sat waiting to be scrubbed. You weren’t so much of a pushover that you’d start cleaning. That would not be your job. For now you didn’t _have_ a job, and planned to appreciate that long as possible. It was more appreciable this way, knowing that soon there’d be more structure to your life. Structure is what you’d been sorely lacking in these past months, giving you no sense of time beyond the positions of the sun and the moon and nothing to really worry about apart from feeding yourself and your horse, surviving, that sort of crud. The military has structure in spades. You suspected they had no intention of letting you idle longer than they must.  
When you went wandering back out you nearly bashed face-first into a very nosy girl with angular eyes, freckles, and dark hair. On instinct alone you shifted back half a pace before she could blink and fixed her with an intense gaze that had her stunned, until a shorter blonde appeared at her elbow. “Ymir? What’re you---oh.” The girl cut off. “Ymir, it’s rude to stare!!”

Your eyes narrowed. Why was she watching you like this? “Problem?” 

Ymir said nothing at first, blew out an exasperated sound and turned to loop an arm around the blonde’s petit shoulders. “Yeah. Watch where you’re going.” 

“Right back at you, Freckles.” You brushed by her deciding it was better not to create a protracted encounter. The other cadets were wondering where she got away to (the answer is: looking to steal more brandy). As you made to head past their table, Armin turned. “Haz?!” He exclaimed, swinging a leg over the bench seat and hastening over. As though he was worried he mistook your identity, the teen needed to look upon your face to be sure. You paused and offered a faint smile. Your exhaustion wasn’t going away anytime soon. Mikasa was up second, Sasha third, the others began to trickle after. Sasha was bouncing in place. “Hey, did you bring any meat with you?!”

“If only.” You told her, knowing this was a letdown. That girl is unusually food motivated. “Things got rough.”  
“But you’re here now.” Armin chimed. “That’s what matters. Did you speak with Section Commander Hange? I hope it’s alright, I told her about the journal.”  
“Oh, did I ever. She had plenty to say about that.” You rubbed at the knot in the back of your neck again. “Say, you didn’t mention it to anyone else, did you?”  
“No. I swear I only told the Section Commander…” He trailed off, sensing the subtle drop in your attitude and let it go. Mikasa moved around Armin and smiled at you, an action that infrequently reaches her eyes these days. “I saw what happened out there. I’m glad you’re alright. What you did was---”  
“---was _not_ something that we really need to go on about. I helped a friend. Far as I’m concerned, that’s the long and short of it.” Her eyes widened slightly at your reaction and closed her mouth, surprised. You sighed and softened up. “Regardless, the same goes for you. I heard a little of what went down. Had I realized that’s what I was hearing from the Forest I might’ve turned up sooner, but everyone pulled through just fine. Still glad to be part of the Scouts?”  
“Hell yeah!” Eren’s voice belted out startlingly loud in the mess hall, causing others to stare at him for a moment. You crossed your arms and smirked at the teen. “Hang on to _that_ enthusiasm, you’re going to need it.” You leaned aside to peer past Connie and Jean. Connie was getting sidetracked by Sasha reminiscing of black bear stew, and Ymir was glaring lasers across the hall. “What’s up with Freckles over there?” You asked. “She keeps giving me the stink eye.” 

“Who…oh, Ymir? Yeah ignore her, she has a resting bitch face.” Jean chortled.  
“Her and this Christa girl in a relationship? They seem chummy.”  
“We think so, but Christa says they aren’t.” Eren said. “Hey, are you okay? You don’t look so hot.”  
“There’s no need to bring my looks into this.” You said blankly, causing him to flush and Jean to start snickering behind his back. “I meant--!”  
“Woooow, you get flustered easily. Joking, kid. I was joking.” You put a hand atop his head and ruffled his hair like the brat he is. To this Eren closed one eye for a split second and hung his head down a little and sunk into an abashed silence, quietly excusing himself to head back to their table while sorting his hair and grunting things that made Christa giggle. Mostly because his cheeks went slightly pink. “Well shit, who am I to turn down an easy target?” You observed with a note of amusement. “Anyway, I’m off. Going to explore.”

“W-wait! Aren’t you going to stick around for lunch?” Sasha burbled, wildly astonished that a person wouldn’t hang around when food is imminent. “I mean—you could always let me take your ration?”  
“Nice try but I’m not entitled to one yet. I was given bread and tea, honestly I barely managed that much. My stomach was acting up so I wouldn’t want to waste a full meal anyway.” You jerked a shoulder in a half-shrug and dropped your arms, gave a brief wave and headed off. “Be seeing you.”  
They watched you go, with Jean eyeing Mikasa curiously. “What happened there? She kind of cut you off. That was pretty damn rude.”

“It was nothing.”

“It _wasn’t_ nothing. Mikasa wanted to acknowledge what she did out there.” Armin pointed out, fully aware of what was going on. “I mean, I get not wanting to make a big deal. But it’s not like she’s able to receive a commendation, least anybody can do is say thanks.”  
“But what _happened?”_ Connie asked with confusion written over his face. Armin turned towards him. “There was a ‘soldier’ on the battlefield that assisted Commander Erwin by pushing him out of the jaws of a titan at the last possible second. He got a wound from it, but his whole arm up to the shoulder was in it’s mouth. That soldier was Haz.” Connie stared, processing as Armin explained. “She killed it and went on to take out several others after that, even going straight into one’s mouth, across its throat and out through the nape, killing it instantly. We saw her do that before, but up close it’s…well, it’s kind of hard to stomach.”  
“That’s insane.” Crysta uttered from her spot beside Ymir, who was suppressing a cringe at the thought of somebody doing that on herself or another shifter. She could vividly imagine staring down the barrel of a move like that as a titan herself, flying straight through their teeth—which is a titan’s most feared weapon. _’Just let that cunt try it on me, I’ll bite her in half.’_ “Hmph! People that reckless have a death wish if you ask me.” Ymir declared. “Like Crysta said, it’s insane.”  
“Yeah. Insanely _cool.”_ Connie piped up. “Damn!!! When do we get to do stuff like that?!” Crysta rounded on him. “Are you kidding, do you _want_ to get eaten!? We barely got out of there alive! Didn’t you see what happened to Squad Levi?! They're the best the Survey Corps has and they got badly hurt, _we_ definitely don't stand a chance.”  
“C’moooooooon----!”  
“It’s not funny Connie!”  
“Aww Crysta, you’re so cute when you pretend to give a crap about worthless losers like him~” Ymir cooed. Connie was on his feet, fists balled. “Say what?!”

“HEY!” A captain from another squad arose from his seat and glared at their miniature dispute. “That’s enough, keep it up and you’re ALL on kitchen duty after lunch!”

They sunk into an embittered silence.

_With You…_

Seeing them was nice. But Mikasa bringing up something you’d rather not think about? Less so. She meant well, but you knew you lost your shit out there and would prefer not to talk about it. These titans made life on the lam almost untenable and you were almost past the point of caring what others saw. Seeing Erwin in that situation like that, though, it hit you funny and you flew into a rage. You didn’t know what came over you then, when you had very little fuel left and fewer intact blades. You couldn’t even explain it to yourself. Erwin Smith was so emotionally unavailable that he wouldn’t even try flirting back, merely accepting compliments when they came and continuing on like the professional that he is. There was nothing psychologically rewarding to hitting on him.

Sigh.

You knew he wouldn’t, it made sense. Now he was going to be one of those guys in such a lofty position he’s unreachable—dammit, why did you need to like him so much? He certainly made an impression before and was easy to get along with. He was both complicated and not, probably because he didn’t let it get that way. You reached up and lightly banged the heel of a hand against your head lightly a couple times, trying to knock some sense in. 

_’Don’t be ridiculous. He’s eye candy, leave it at that.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: After a chapter meant to feel anxious and over quick, here’s the opposite. ^^  
SHAMELESS PLUG TIME! I started something called ‘The AoT Collection’ which is going to be where I pile up my one shots for Attack on Titan. It has one right now but more are in the works. For those who appreciate Erwin, that first one is his. X3 It is also meant to be a quick read, short n’ sweet. Unlike Levi who while short, can never be accused of being sweet. YEAH WHAT THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT ( I still lurve him though. <3 )
> 
> **CLARIFICATIONS:**
> 
> \+ Angel Aaltonen was the man responsible for inventing the ODMG and was also among the first people to kill a titan.  
\+ As the information I’m able to get on him isn’t comprehensive after he exiles himself to the Stohess Underground (and it sounds like it was a while ago) I’d say that it’s possible he had a family of his own while down there, the man never had a family so it doesn’t seem so farfetched he’d want one of his own at some point.  
\+ Angel is Reader-chan’s paternal grandfather. According to what I’ve read he was 33 in year 793. Shiganshina fell in 845, so he’d be in his 80’s. It’s stated that he’s still alive.


	10. Don't Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much for taking it easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhi: Polls are in. Levi and Erwin are TIED right now, 6 votes each, with a couple others for BOTH making it a love triangle potentially. I have my own preference but I’m not allowing myself to be included because I’m the writer and an indecisive gemini. If that makes sense. Well I think it does SO THERE. O.o’  
Why don’t we do this…I’ll keep the polls open another chapter or so, and as it’s tied and there’s some interest in this playing out as a triad here, I’m going to play it out that way.
> 
> DAMN WE GONNA GET DRAMATIC AIN’T WE  
WAHAHAHAAA~
> 
> Why no, I’m not warped at all.  
Clarification: I’m guessing that Reader-chan has hair at least long enough to be tied back.

Don’t Die

Now I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but castles are big.

…Well?  
Are you?

The answer is ‘yes’. You knew this from seeing the place outside, but it was a much more enormous construct than you anticipated on the inside. It meant you were bound to get lost. Thankfully, the layout was mostly symmetrical from one side to the next. Not-so-thankfully, this made it feel more like a maze and you were tired all over again from today’s beginning.  
In your wanderings you discovered the quartermaster, a library which is now also a map room, a meeting chamber, what once functioned a chapel turned into storage, more storage, more and more and more storage---and you stopped trying to figure out what each space was for because after a while, everything seemed the same. 

Very fortunately you managed to loop your way back around when you heard familiar voices and went in their direction. It was Petra, talking with Eren and Mikasa. “---wait, here she is now.” Eren said, gesturing. You approached and stopped as Petra turned and eyeballed you. “There you are! What were you doing for over an hour?”

“An hour, are you serious? I’ve been lost in this place for _one hour?”_

Eren snorted a laugh. Mikasa swiped the back of his head. “OW!”

Petra’s hands landed on her hips. “Next time ask one of us to go with you. Did you learn where everything is at least?”

“Some…? Hey no one gets lost intentionally, I’ve never been in a place like this before.”

Petra was shaking her head. You roamed so long without anyone spotting you, it was likely you ended up in the very back of the fortress which wasn’t as actively used, primarily they kept overflow stock down that way.  


“It’s okay. I’ll bring you around to the places you need to remember. We can go over stuff on the way through.” You shrugged at Eren and Mikasa while Petra strolled you away from them, holding your elbow. “And by the way,” This phrase arose from her when out of earshot of the pair. “I don’t know what you said to Captain Levi, but he’s been in a mood.”

“Isn’t he always? I thought that was his baseline.”  
“Not his normal mood. More like…he’s in rare form.” Petra struggled to clarify. “Do you remember your conversation with him?”  
“Sure do. Why?”  


Petra’s hand dropped from your elbow. She was done practically driving you down the corridor, wincing a bit as she moved. It was hard not to notice that she was doing this despite her own injuries, but if she is up and about, she must feel that she can handle whatever it is she had in mind. “Oh, no real reason.” Petra sighed. “We like to know what we’re about to get into when he’s like this.” She was being very subtle in her asking. Recalling the contents of said conversation brought two things to mind: talking about rats, and telling Levi what you were able to hear from the Cadets as you heard it, accompanied by the knowledge immediately after that this would get them into trouble. You asked him to leave your name out of it. Apparently, that part escaped him. “Hm, that so?” You hummed, considering what best to say. Ultimately not knowing what was right or wrong to tell, it is best to say nothing. “No offense Petra, but if L…_Captain_ Levi didn’t say, I won’t either.”  


Petra wanted to glow when she heard this response but carried on as though it was a drag to hear, placing a hand to her side as though to brace an injury as she walked. “But why _not?”_ She asked conversationally, keeping her tone unchanged. “You really want to know?” You asked back, stopping to look at her. She took a step past and turned to fix you with an inquisitive look. “I did ask, didn’t I?”  


She’s persistent. Perhaps a lie would work. “Tea.” At her apparent confusion, you elaborated. “I’ve never had anything like it, ours was always made from wildflowers or mint.” You motioned. “Isn’t that the quartermaster down there?”

She sucked in a breath and let it go, spinning on her heel to go that way. “Yes.” The breath hushed out with her words. “You get a few uniforms and there will be a standard set of ODMG assigned to your name. You’re responsible for its upkeep, and whenever components need to be changed out you need to record that.” The quartermaster was sitting at his desk. He raised his head to peer over when hearing voices approaching in the corridor. “Petra Ral? That you?” He called over.

“Good afternoon Killian.” They both saluted out of respect. You watched their posture as they did so. May as well learn to do as these soldiers do. Killian turned towards you and walked around curiously, examining the harness. He reached out and tugged a ring. “What the hell is this supposed to be? It’s not regulation---oh, wait. I remember now.” Killian picked up a chart he had on the counter and smirked to himself. “You’re Aaltonen. Okay then soldier, right this way. We need measurements, your uniform doesn’t even fit right. Want to come back later Petra?”

“I don’t mind helping. You seem shorthanded.” She followed back. You moved along with them, having this feeling that you’re about to get violated again.  


It turned out that this man was not as gruff as that Garrison officer. You were asked to remove your boots and stand up on a stepstool. Killian’s assistants were off doing inventory, so he handed Ral a pad of paper and pencil while he measured. “Okay, please write these figures down exactly as I say them.” He unrolled a measuring tape to begin. This wasn’t to say every single uniform is tailored to fit, that would be insane, but he did need measurements on file to determine the right size clothing. The uniform must fit almost like a glove. If it does not; this leads to garments snagging on gear, which leads to getting injured or worse.

Killian made quick work of it. You’d be allowed to step back down. “Okay, let me go grab a few uniforms in your size and a harness---boots? Yes, boots…who in the _hell_ issued those? They’re from two different sets and your left one’s loose in the calf.” His mutterings followed him away, and Petra stood up to call after him. “Actually Killian, would it be too much to ask to have everything sent to her room? We’re needed elsewhere shortly. It’s in Levi Squad's hall, first door on the left.” They were filled up from back to the front. Only two rooms were empty, and you now had one.  


“With Levi Squad? Oho, a hotshot eh? Fine. I’ll have them run over by this evening, but she’s changing before she leaves.” His muffled voice called back. You grunted. “He knows I’m right _here_, yeah?” Petra held her hands up. “That’s Killian. He doesn’t really care what he says aloud.”  


_’Reminds me of this guy we know.’_  


“Okay,” The quartermaster reappeared and pointed. “I set out a uniform for you, go put it on and leave the old stuff for me.”  
“Sure. Thank you.” You picked up the boots and glanced uncertainly in that direction, heading on over to where indicated. Quartermaster Killian flopped into his desk chair and began writing. “Aaltonen—needs a couple more uniforms, what else?”

“Everything. Including a warhorse and ODMG.” Petra said. “She came to us with next to nothing. Cora from the Garrison Quartermaster’s office in Calaneth threw together what they had close to her size last moment.”

“What, didja find this woman under a rock? Jeez. The Stablemaster already dealt with this horse situation. There’s gear in storage, I’ll check her off for that.”

You were putting on new everything—yes, everything, and the fit was dead accurate. The ill-fitting button down was meant to be left as well in favor of a starched ivory one, the brown waist sash, white pants, harness, boots, and over it all that signature jacket. You were not positive if you were supposed to wear it yet, so you carried it out over an arm. Petra uncrossed her arms. “You look so much better.” She complimented. “Why haven’t you put your coat on?”

“Should I?”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” She reflected this back without meaning for it to sound sharp. You slid the jacket on in response, hoping this wasn’t going to be some kind of problem for not being official yet—or well, you were _about_ to be, but no one said that yet. Killian nodded approvingly from his desk and continued making notes. Petra stepped forward and grasped both tawny lapels, helping to straighten it without your permission. You said nothing of this and tied your hair up. Petra stepped back and smiled her approval. “Perfect. Alright, let’s go. Thanks Killian!”

“Nyep’. Later, ladies.”

You’d emerge looking crisp and new compared to before. She was on to showing you around the rest of the way until dinner. This is that, that is this…and, occasionally, she would say things that were so subtle you had realized that some game was still afoot. “Where are you from?”  


“The Survey Corps.”  


Ooh, another good answer. She thought that might stump you into saying ‘Vanaheim’, which is a no-no. 

There were some questions she’d ask that would be unfair. Those ones received less than ideal responses. But so far? Petra Ral was impressed, and as she led you around and pointed locations in the castle out, the ginger ran out of things to ask. By then she walked you to the stable. Here you met up with a guy you know very little about: Gunther Schultz. There was the one introduction in Trost, that was it. “Alright, I have some work to accomplish before I’m stuck on bed rest. You’re to shadow Gunther for now.” She surreptitiously passed him a slip of paper as you were (for the tenth time) adjusting the sash around your hips, continuing to be disused to the sensation of having extra material there. “Alright. Hi again.” Gunther said, turning and motioning for you to follow. “Can’t say we’ve had somebody come to us with a draft horse before.”

“I’m sure.” You said. “I take it he hasn’t run anyone over yet?”  
“Ehhh well, yes and no, not for lack of trying. They wanted to move him but he won’t budge.”

The stall beside Fury now held a dappled bay mare, who calmly brought her snout closer when you both approached. “This girl will be yours. Her name’s Umber. They generally give them names that’re easy to remember. Anyway, Umber here is fully trained and will be way more accepting than big boy over here.” He slapped a large hand on the stable door. Fury snorted. 

You listened to him while moving an arm over the door for your new mare to sniff since she was curious. Gunther absorbed your expression as you focused on her. “You like animals, huh?”  
“They’re less argumentative than humans.” You said. Then, “She’s beautiful.”  


“You’re responsible for her and she’s responsible for you. That’s how they’re raised. Or that’s what the stablemaster says. They do come when called, I’d say it’s pretty accurate. Now come on. I was told to have you move this monster horse of yours to the next stable. You’re going to be allowed to keep him there, we like to have this building for warhorses only.”  
You weren’t sure why something was nagging you about this whole thing, but as you bridled Fury and lead him down the path after Gunther, you had a new reason to be worried. Jean’s familiar voice emanated from inside, and that girl Christa too. “Oh, hey guys!!” Jean exclaimed, hurrying to pick up a shovel to make it seem like he was working. Christa waved cheerily from his side. They were on stable duty, exactly like you heard they’d be. And it was around dinner time. “Hey Jean, uh---Christa, yeah?”

“Mhm! I’ve heard plenty about you since lunch. Thanks for what you did before.” Her smile was such that Jean was getting weak in the knees. He still thought she was a goddess. Most of the boys did. “My pleasure. Excuse me.” You continued after Gunther, who was smirking as he read the notes on that page while his back was to you. Now he could begin.  
“This stall here.” He indicated, opening it up. You lead Fury inside and began removing his bridle. Gunther glanced back to make sure Christa and Jean weren’t too close and stood inside the stable door. “So, is there anything you wanna tell me?”

He’s way worse at this than Petra. “About?” You pretended to have a hard time with a portion of the bridle.  
“You know what.”  
You deflected. “Do I?”  


“It’s okay to talk about it.” He went on casually, leaning in the frame with a hand in his pocket. “I’m sure you need to vent. A lot’s happened, right?”  


Perhaps this wasn’t the same thing. Huh. Maybe he was trying to be nice? Still, you didn’t feel the need to talk about much of anything with this man.

“A lot has happened for everyone. You won’t hear me crying about it.” You tried not to seem obvious though Gunther picked up on it immediately as Petra had. They were on to you as much as you were wise to them, and as they should be. They were chosen for specific characteristics to be in Levi’s personal team. Part of that is possession of a keen edge and attentiveness to detail. “Really? I heard this town of yours is nothing but charcoal now. After the way you left, are you _sure_ that’s not your fault? Those kids I heard you were training…how can you sleep at night knowing that they’re probably dead because of YOU?”  


Okay, not being nice as you thought. _Now_ you wanted to punch him in the throat. He was aiming to piss you off, saying things that are purposed to gouge your nerves and make you want to lash out irrationally. Worse, he’s doing so without knowing the full picture. This was generalized taunting, a barely educated guess. “If you want a fight Gunther, ask for one. It’ll be quick. I saw where most of your bandages are.”  


“Cocky.” He doesn’t have eyebrows, but the muscles along his brow-bone twitched. He doesn’t trust you and the feeling’s mutual. That said, hearing that you would exploit the wounds hidden in his clothing was good. It means you remembered that he had them and are ruthless enough. The Survey Corps is _always_ in need of ruthless soldiers. “It’s doesn’t count as being ‘cocky’ if you know more about your opponent than he does about you.” You pointed out, putting the bridle on a peg. “Isn’t that part of what the Survey Corps does? Observe and exploit.” Turning towards him, he was already walking right into your personal space. The cadet’s voices were both closer now, they could overhear if neither of you were careful.

You heard a small ‘snik!’ noise and felt something cool and sharp pressed against your inner thigh, crossed over where the artery is closest to the surface. “Again,” He would rephrase his question slower, more menacing, staring dead into your eyes so close that you could smell tea on his breath. _“Is there anything that you want to tell me about Captain Levi?”_

You stared back. The urge to punch him in the throat wasn’t leaving. You knew you couldn’t right now, for reasons aside from a switchblade prepared to turn your leg into a fountain. His stare was unwavering, with yours much the same. This was now a matter of principle. 

“Bite me, Gunther.”

The pause between his threat and your sneer lasted for several counts. Then the sensation of his knife disappeared. “Let’s go.” He still didn’t trust you, but he liked what he learned. You patted Fury before leaving, nerves taut as wires. These people were going to try and unhinge you before you were officially in the Regiment. They were going to test you and see if you were worth working on, given that you couldn’t go into the upcoming 105th Cadet Corps and may never be a proper soldier due to that. You did not know the exact point, but this game of theirs were meant to help ascertain certain characteristics.  


Christa and Jean were nearby busying themselves as you followed Gunther out. Christa remained oblivious while cooing over one of the horses before cleaning out its stall, but Jean noticed that element of tension. He caught how your voices got quiet before emerging. It wasn’t some weird tryst, he figured that little out. No, from your body language Jean was _sure_ you wanted to hurt that man right now. He did not like it one bit.

Gunther led you back outside into the light and across to an equipment shed while marking something on the paper you had yet to see. The shed was quite close. It appeared more like a small warehouse, built on a wide hill with a slanted roof behind the fortress, right off the path and ahead of a huge open green bordered by a forest. This is where training exercises happened. Oluo swooped down from the trees close by and landed easily, walking over as Gunther pointed you into the shed. You saw them low-five but missed that the paper was hidden under Gunther’s palm, passing on the torch. “I’m off to recuperate. Hang here with Oluo for a while.” He called. You turned away and said nothing, watching this more familiar man breeze by. He paused and smirked at you, standing side-profile while adjusting his cravat as his small eyes appraised your figure. “Tch…well well, you clean up good.”

“I know, right?” Your humor returned. You know Oluo much better than Gunther. He hit on you twice and learned it wouldn’t work; you were up to his antics, right down to the part where he emulates Levi. 

“Now what?” You watched him turn and walk down a row in the shed. He secretively opened the paper, concealing the sound of its unfolding with his boot steps and the soft ‘clink, clink’ of the scabbards against his sides. When he turned back to you the paper was gone again and he smacked a hand down next to a gleaming set of ODMG on the table. “I want to make sure you know how to use a _real_ set of gear.”  


“Mine was real enough to save your cravat-wearin’ ass back there, Dead Last.” You snarked back predictably while starting to attach the components to your harness. “Hah! You’re in MY territory now, dear.” Oluo watched you ignore being called ‘dear’ in favor of checking the gas gauges. You would turn and head back out when he did. Though once outside he shoved a bright yellow cloth at you. Your hands flew up to grab at the item, uncertain of its purpose. “Keep it in plain sight. And you can only tie it with one knot.” Bozad began instructing you on this matter as another figure landed close by. 

It was Eld. When the blonde spoke, he sounded in a better mood than earlier. “This is a training exercise the captain likes to call ‘Don’t Die’.” The name is uncreative. You examined the long strip of vivid yellow cloth. It was clean but a little frayed, and probably began life as a scarf. It was also long enough to attach however you saw fit. They watched you work it out. “Will there be a time limit or something?” You asked distractedly and stretched the marker out to see how long this cloth is, remembering the approximate length of that measuring tape Killian held up while calling out for Petra to write down.

“Five minutes to get from here to the tower.” Oluo pointed across the woods to a faintly visible structure with the Survey Corps flag flapping above it. “Oh and…if one of us gets that marker, you have thirty seconds to get it back or you’re dead. If you touch the ground, you’re dead. If you sit still for longer than 15 seconds and we see it, you’re dead. Easy huh?”

Hrm, good enough. You proceeded to wrap the cloth about your middle, where it was plenty visible. This was an odd reaction far as both men were concerned—usually anybody playing this game tucked it in their belt or wrapped it around a harness strap so it’d be harder to grab. They each had their way of securing it. You had it like a wide yellow bow around the narrowest part of your middle threaded beneath the harness, and you didn’t bother tying it. It should be _too_ easy to grab this way.

“Alright. Was there anything else?”

“Yeah.” Oluo latched handle to blade and unsheathed them, twin weapons clearing sheathe with a synchronous hiss of steel. _“Don’t die.”_  


Eld clicked the watch as his friend said these two ominous words. Oluo wasted not a second and surged forward. “NICE TRY!” You threw yourself aside hard enough to roll with the uncomfortable feeling of the sheathes smashing into your hips, and gained purchase. You fired both anchors into the nearest tree and soared out of the way when two swords closed over the space you’d been standing in like scissors, shaving a millimeter of sole off your right heel. You felt this rather than seeing it. Right as Bozad laughed and gave chase, Eld was already ahead of you during his distraction and rebounded to fly straight for you, mouth tearing into a vicious grin of his own. He was flying on one wire effortlessly while a hand grabbed for your middle. 

_’DAMMIT!’_ These guys are playing for keeps!

You skimmed out of the way, cutting it far too close by letting one anchor go barely in time for you to drop below his mass and away from those grasping fingers, pulled back the other anchor with a flip through space, fired again, and were gone at full speed into the forest shade. In the distance Christa and Jean stood outside the stable, shielding their eyes in the neon orange burst of sun announcing dusk. 

“Welp’, they’re at it again.” Jean remarked blandly while leaning on his shovel. Christa was staring agog. “Oluo could’ve cut her legs off!!!”  
“C’mon Christa, you know how the vets like to play rough.”  
“…”

During the final light of the day it was harder to see in here save for dappled pools of golden orange. Conditions were a bit poor for the three people involved in this deadly game. You weren’t able to consult a watch on how much time elapsed, though it can’t have been long. But when it got silent and they were nowhere to be found, you were anything but relieved. This meant Eld and Oluo were waiting. They know these woods by heart, Oluo wasn’t kidding—you _are_ in their territory now. 

Worse? You had no clue about whether it was only these two out here, and you never asked. As yet you didn’t find anybody else. 

Movement caught your eye. You flung your head back as an anchor went right by your throat, cutting a thin red ribbon along the base of your neck. You dropped the rest of the way to a wide branch, body going horizontal for a second. There was a pulse-pounding instant where you felt an edge snake under the hem of your coat and snag under the band around your middle, but it tore the yellow fabric instead and came free without the prize. Whew. CLOSE. You sprang off the branch the moment you struck it and realized you already lost your bearings. They would be trying to knock you astray. How much longer did you have now? 

Dodging them was getting taxing. Titans are slower and their booming footfalls announce their presence with few that do not. But Eld Gin and Oluo Bozad were much quieter, and with their green cloaks tended to vanish easily into the canopy. It was the singing of wires that helped declare their arrival every time, but even in that you had to rely on reflex to avoid them. You know yourself that when those wires are anchored, they're going to be on you right away.  


Stillness again. You didn’t know which one tried to catch you just now. It was time to get sight of that tower, and you had to hope this gear was able to do as your original light set could with its reel strength: dragging your weight up and up through the trees until you popped through into a sky turning sherbet orange, pink and gold.

Your eyes flickered across the verdant stretch of land as your body drifted upwards by another yard until you saw it, a spot of blue and white to your northwest. You surrendered to the irrevocable force of gravity as soon as it began to haul you back. In an instant you were plummeting below the canopy and arcing back around old-growth trees, battered by twigs and ignoring the many tiny cuts opening up on your face, neck and backs of your hands, and saw a perfect spot behind a veil of foliage to hide for a second. You had to work _fast_. 

There was a rustling noise. You’d be off again in a blink. When you presented yourself again Gin came screaming out of nowhere, your blades were out and blocking that flash of metal doomed for back. “RRAAA-AAH!” 

Eld faltered when he realized the marker was moved on your person, but he lingered a split second too long. You anchored to the tree directly beside him, clicked up a good burst of propellant and you let resulting momentum inwards bring your knee against him like a hammer. He turned to instead make the full brunt of the hit glance off his side. Instead he got driven back into the trunk with your blades crossed against his in the space between both of your torsos, the very breath slammed from his lungs and seeing stars from the flare-up pain of his minor injuries on impact. Unfortunately, in your haste, you thoughtlessly used the knee which still had a bandage and snarled through the burning pain almost as much as he was. As this happened, Eld decided to shout across to his teammate so he would not miss the scarf marker now wrapped around your neck. A little idea you borrowed from Mikasa, amusingly. He sucked in air, ignoring the ache. “OLUO! HER NECK!” He dropped more pressure behind his blades. You rammed a boot against the tree beside his scabbard and somersaulted backwards, swords disengaging from Eld’s with a shriek of steel.  


“HAH!” Oluo was top of you instantly. He bulldozed you into a thick tree branch and used the trigger front of his right sword to hook around the scarf and yank it free. Right as he did so you swung your left edge through the space between you, severing the part he captured, drove your feet into his stomach, and catapulted off. Eyes wide with rage and pain he coughed out something you couldn’t understand, one hand with the sword trigger trapped within pressing to his belly as the older man was stunned. “FUCK OFF!!!” You screamed like a banshee, dropping upside-down before getting a chance to correct yourself and zoom away. 

“TWO MINUTES!!” Eld roared after you like a man possessed, again perilously close behind. _Now_ they were both pissed. _Now_ it’s a full-on chase. If they were playing before, that stopped. You found yourself flat out bolting through the trees for your damn _life_, pulse hammering in your head and adrenaline shrieking in your veins. You were swerving around anchor shots and sword swings, unable to stop moving as they kept their cool while being seriously ticked off and continuing to press the advance. You never had a drawn-out fight of this sort before against anything but larger, heavier opponents. This was a whole different animal. This was AMAZING.

These two would employ anything they could to stop you, including a couple times dropping tree limbs in your path and even, once, felling an entire _tree_. The overlapping branches could’ve snagged the tattered marker off your neck if you didn’t evade by the skin of your teeth, vaulting backwards for a fast double-back, moved the yellow cloth to wrap around your arm, and you’d dive ahead again. 

The tower is up ahead, camouflaged by trees and therefore none too simple to see. You had to search for a break in the vegetation ahead while trying not to get railroaded by two seasoned veterans, who both quickly noticed the place you put the cloth this time. They moved seamlessly; teamwork instilled from countless drills made this sort of synchrony possible. Any of them on Levi Squad worked well together. Their movements paired through maneuvers that left you confused, once you practically got tangled by the crossing of wires and clashing of swords on both sides when you ducked, sparks scattering above your head like fireworks. You were bruised, cut and bleeding but finally your anchors dug into the wooden side of the old watchtower, and you scaled up the top a split second before they landed, ever hot on your heels.

And who was waiting up there?  
Why, Shorty of course.

You were catching your breath as they were doing the same, a little less winded than your own self. Eld and Oluo re-sheathed. You did the same. That whole thing was an insane exercise to do without easy use of one’s hands, which you supposed was meant to be the hard part for your pursuers since you didn’t necessarily have to keep changing the marker’s location on your body. 

“Well well. I see that you’re not _completely_ pathetic, Aaltonen. Three minutes and forty-seven seconds.” Levi raised his voice as he clicked the watch. You wanted to retort. Instead of doing so, you unwrapped the yellow marker from your arm and bunched it up in hand, walking over to them.

That whole experience across 3+ minutes was exhilarating. Though banged up, you were still high from the adrenaline and feeling way too good to get aggressive. Eld took the cloth from you, knowing Levi wouldn’t want to touch it when speckled with blood if he could avoid doing so. “That was a dirty trick back there.” Oluo growled at you, a hand back on his stomach where there was a big smudge of dirt from your soles. You smirked. “Is there such a thing? Also, that’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard.”  


“What pun?!”  


“Never mind.” You turned your face into the breeze, feeling it toy with any wispy hairs unbound by your tie. Oluo shifted around in place, grumbling as he patted dirt away from his front. You remembered what it felt like to plant both boots into his stomach. It was like kicking off a brick wall.  


The guy might be a total dickhead, but he is solid. Eld was no different, though in his case you made the mistake of striking him with the scraped knee you landed too hard on during the sortie. These soldiers are the real deal, and it wasn’t lost on you that they were goofing off for the first couple minutes. You moved loose hairs behind an ear. “That was quite a rush actually.”  


“Not bad huh?” Eld concurred. “Next time will be the real deal.”

Your stomach clenched. REAL DEAL? You knew they weren’t completely serious, but what else would be added for this mysterious ‘next time’? “Maybe I can be on the other side? I bet its more fun to be the pursuer.” 

Eld smiled easily. “Well, tomorrow we’re scheduled to do an exercise with the cadets called ‘Rabbit’. They get to be on foot, we get to chase them with the gear. If you aren’t able to participate, you can at least watch.”  
“Sounds hilarious, count me in.” You agreed. A game called Rabbit, huh? You couldn’t wait to hear their excuse for this one. Possibly to improve their odds of escape if they should ever end up on foot with broken gear. But you were also wondering if it was an excuse to terrorize the rookies.  


Meanwhile, Levi was examining the paper they’d been passing around this afternoon. 

“Alright.” He put it away. “You’ve earned your dinner. And you three are disgusting, I had better not see any of you in the mess hall looking like that. Or you’ll be scrubbing every fucking window in the castle with a toothbrush.”  
“SIR!” Eld and Oluo said at once, with you mouthing the word a second after them. Levi flew off graceful as the wind, and you were left staring after him. “I…don’t know how to respond to that like a person.”

“Oy! When the Captain gives an order, acknowledge him like you mean it!” Oluo barked. You stared at him; a bit perturbed at how he snapped at you. “Dually noted.” You drawled. He huffed and zoomed away same as Eld, and you followed. The ‘run’ back felt slower, but then, you didn’t have to worry about either man trying to maul you for a scarf. Flying with them to the castle was kind of nice actually. They know one another so well from fighting on the same team for years and it showed. The whole Special Ops team would prove to be the same. 

Equipment would be dropped off, and then you’d be walking up the path past the stables to the fortress. Levi was nowhere to be found. You took this as a chance to ask about what they meant. “I’m curious. What’s the ‘real deal’ version of Don’t Die?”

“Same game, plus the whole gang.” Eld replied. “Including the Captain. But it’s split up so there is one person not allowed to fight, their function is to carry the marker or ‘flag’ if you will. Two others must escort them to the tower. Sometimes we don’t bother with the escort part. That’s more of a trust exercise. Tell you what though, try trusting your comrades the first few times when Humanity’s Strongest Soldier is breathing down your neck. It’s tougher than it sounds.”  


You could imagine. Shortcake is pretty damn intense. “By the way, that was smart what you did back there, switching the scarf around. It was good thinking. If you didn’t bother though you might’ve shaved another thirty seconds off your score.”  


“Hah well, I was hoping to throw you boys off.” Putting it in risky places like around your middle or at your throat in particular should give someone pause who isn’t technically trying to kill you. Though their performance convinced you otherwise. “At any rate, I’m not going to try it for any more of these events.”

“Tch, even if you did _everyone knows_ that Captain Levi has to hold back for training exercises, it’s—PFFFAAAA!!!!” Tongue bite. 

You laughed with Eld. 

_Inside, Commander Erwin’s Office…_

Levi landed through the vast double windows Erwin was keeping open to accept the evening air…and apparently, to also act as a perch for cranky midgets. “How did it go?” Erwin didn’t bat an eye at Levi’s appearance, the man already knew who it was without checking. He continued to examine a report. Levi walked over and handed him the quarter-folded paper. He then went over to one of the chairs in front of the desk, turned it backwards, and straddled so his gear would not make it impossible to sit. 

Erwin’s light blues skated over lines of handwritten text, including Levi’s recent observations at the bottom. He nodded, putting it down. “And your thoughts beyond these notes?” He asked before dispensing his own opinion. Levi was watching him with his arms folded over the back of the chair. “I don’t think Aaltonen’s been compromised. She doesn’t seem the type to become a double agent anyhow.”

“Mm.” Erwin read over the paper once more, skimming the more important parts. After your _most_ timely intervention on the battlefield and knowing you are aware of the Titan Shifters, they had to be positive these people didn’t get to you somewhere in between. They figured you were clean anyway but right now, during an internal investigation, an abundance of caution is common sense. “We know that she’s sharp. That much is consistent from before until now.” The Commander thought aloud. “She had no trouble attacking Oluo and Eld, I see.”

“Didn’t think twice. She also refused to tell any of them about our conversation.”

“And that was about…?” It wasn’t written down. Only that there was a secret, and it was the job of Petra and Gunther to sneak that information out of you. They failed. “We heard who’s raiding the liquor cabinet over tea. I plan to drop in later.”

“Well done.” Erwin was impressed. He intended to let you recuperate, but Levi’s quick thinking was a thing to be proud of. Ymir stealing from the officer’s cupboard was bad, sure, but he chose to use that piece of information to test your personality for their line of work. If you couldn’t keep your yap shut on that little, they would know you aren’t remotely trustworthy and not to place you in any critical areas.  
Levi watched the Commander nod and pulled a folder from a drawer, putting the paper inside. He removed a few more documents. “Very well. She can go through a full physical examination tomorrow morning same as the Cadets. Then have her bring the results directly to me. I can get this whole ordeal squared away before noon.”  


“I doubt that woman has seen a doctor in her _life._ She might not clear the physical.” Levi’s suspicions were shared by Erwin. The man called Doc in Vanaheim was probably not the genuine article. But he had more tact than to say so. “She’s probably healthy enough, if a little malnourished. For now, it’s best to keep our expectations lower. Do not expect a trained soldier like we get out of the Cadet Corps.” Not unlike Levi, Farlan and Isabel from before. Though Levi is rough around the edges, he’s an outstanding soldier now.

“Tch…we _have_ those. I want somebody who isn’t going to run and hide like a little bitch when shit gets real.” Yes, so much fodder and plenty of titans to go around. Levi was tired of watching rookies get chewed up and crapped back out. Still more would forget themselves and book the other way, transfer if they survived, or become deserters. Therefore the Survey Corps is the smallest force of the three. They are also the toughest bastards in the whole army, more skilled than the Garrison Regiment and Military Police by orders of magnitude. High fatality rate, high turnover rate, risk and reward rolled into one.  
Erwin tapped his pen. “Hange suggested placing her in R&D after reviewing that journal, as she insists that one bearing the Aaltonen name ought to be developing new equipment. And Miche hasn’t said anything, but with Lynne going on maternity leave he’ll be down one. The list I have of viable candidates to replace Lynne have already been assigned as new squad leaders in the wake of this expedition.” He inclined his chin a fraction at look he was getting from the Captain. “I sense that you don’t approve.”

Levi was staring, trying not to become agitated. He knew not to assume that Erwin would place you under his supervision beyond sticking you in one of the rooms in their hall, but now faced with it he was irked. Keeping you in that same corridor meant you’d be closely watched, certainly more than if they stuck you in the barracks. Bearing much else in mind, Levi was convinced. Where else should you be, but right where he wanted you?  


“Way I see it Erwin, I need every layer of security I can get around Eren. Especially with Gunther and Petra on bedrest from their injuries as of tonight. Oluo and Eld are barely fit to stay off light duty as is.” Those four covered it up and tried to move around like nothing was wrong, but Levi noticed their exhaustion and pain. He barked at Gunther to get his ass into bed before he dropkicked him into it after his part in the exercise. Petra needed no threats; she ate dinner and went right to her room after leaving you with Gunther.  


Knowing what he does, Erwin had reservations against placing you in a position like that where you would be partially responsible for watching Eren while in any form of training. But Levi made sense.  
While your military record was only beginning, they’ve seen you butcher enough titans to rank up among the elite in that one week of staying on the farm, and then several more during the tail end of the 57th. Your aptitude with the gear, survival instincts and strength were about level with their veterans, having fought these monsters ever since you were physically able. Your father’s journal corroborated that.

He still didn’t like putting you on what is simultaneously the Scout Regiment’s safest yet most dangerous team. But in the end, he knew better than to resist further. Levi made sense and he did not want to insult your capabilities. Having people able to handle Yeager on that team is top priority.  


“Very well. Ms. Aaltonen will be assigned to your squad in a temporary capacity. Once Gunther and Petra are off light duty, we may revisit this topic. But Levi, this means _you_ will be responsible for training her. Again…do not expect a polished soldier. This is a woman who lived at the edge of civilization her whole life.” Smith knew what Levi said before. He also isn’t stupid. He knows Ackerman has high standards. Those standards could shape you into a great soldier. Telling Shorty that you won’t be what he expects will make him subconsciously work harder to change that.

“Fine.” Levi said. He knew he was taking on extra work. “I don’t want someone else fucking this up anyway.” Erwin gave a half-smile at the shorter man’s attitude. He’d been considering Miche’s team because Zacharius, while no nonsense, would also be a more patient trainer. Soldiers regularly dissolve into tears against Levi, but Erwin knew you’d fight back with that unbroken spirit. And he was anticipating that very thing would make this arrangement counterproductive, which meant he could plant you in Miche or Hange’s squad the second he felt it necessary. Either is a slightly safer choice.

Then he realized he was subtly plotting against Levi and pinched the bridge of his nose as though experiencing a headache, writing that silly notion off as an effect of being tired and ridiculous. Why did he need to plot against his most loyal soldier? Absurd! “Anyhow, that’s settled. After her physical goes through you can break the news to her.” Erwin stood. “Was there anything further?”

“No.” Levi got up and put the chair back how he found it, perfectly in line with its twin. He was smug as he headed back to the window, intent on catching some drunken brats.

Boy will it ever be funny to see a bunch of tipsy cadets running laps!


	11. Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run, little bunnies. _Run._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Heichou is eeeevil….s’okay, this is why we lurve him. <3 
> 
> Levi has pulled ahead by two votes. I will keep the voting open just a little longer like I said to be fair. Going to close it up for sure on chapter 13—will it be lucky or unlucky? We shall see. :3 
> 
> Since cloth and springs both exist in AoT, this means they can have a trampoline, don’t @ me. The membrane in the center isn’t actually elastic.
> 
> TW: Mention of a female pelvic exam. Nothing graphic is explored, but I’m aware some are uncomfortable with this.

Rabbit

This rude awakening brought to you by: the shortest insomniac on Paradis!

This day begins when a certain guy pushed your door in at zero-five hundred hours, grabbed your blanket and ripped it off your form.  


“Hey, get off your dead ass. You’re going to be late.” He watched your shape begin to curl in on itself, turning your cheek against the pillow to cast the most murderous glare you could muster up at him. “What the _fuck_ are you _fucking_ doing in here at whatever _fucking_ hour this _fucking_ is?” Judging from the watery light peering through your window, it was early indeed. A single digit kind of hour. This bed is much more comfortable than that couch. You wanted to sleep some more, and you’re not very good with mornings.

“That’s, ‘what the fuck are you fucking doing in here _Captain_’, and you are having a physical today. Now get up. I won’t tell you again.” Levi watched you reluctantly swing your legs over the edge of the bed and smooth a hand through your rumpled hair. Among the uniforms left in your room last night were some tunics you could use to sleep in, so you were wearing a dark gray one of those with no pants. The hem landed below the hip. Levi still likes your toned legs, but now he can see the scars also. He also does not show that he cares. “Fine, _Captain_. What physical?”

“The one you’ll be skipping breakfast for if you don’t hurry it up.” He deadpanned. “You have an hour to shower and eat. Get moving.” Having noticed that you actually put the clothes away without being ordered to like one of the cadets, he decided to give benefit of the doubt and see if you’d also make the bed on your own. Levi left right away, the door practically slamming behind him. You held your head in your hands, fingers woven along your scalp as you gathered enough will not to lay back down. Nobody here made genuine promises that you’d be given a chance to adjust to life in the Scouts, which was to be anticipated. You knew from your parents that military life is tough. It shaped them so much into who they were, that they raised you as though you were a military brat yourself. If you refused to do something, ‘I have given you an order, girl.’ If you were being unruly, ‘you’re cleaning this whole house for a week’ or ‘Drop and give me 50!’. Mother used to train Scouts. Father was a military engineer. You’d been conditioned early on without knowing it.  


Therefore, the Scout’s habits weren’t far from what you knew; but you let things relax a bit after Mother and Father died. Their relationship with you was never warm and fuzzy. They were loving, sure, but not very good at showing it. Mostly they were damaged goods who couldn’t handle another day in the army. You began to realize that you could take the soldier out of the Regiment, but you can’t take the Regiment out of the soldier; it was a part of their rotten bones as they lay entombed. Every day was a mission. Everything was obedience. Every moment was a fight to the death in a land fraught with thundering beasts. Even when you had their protection, there were those in town quite ready to strip back the last layers of innocence you had. And after their passing, those same wolves circled. 

You showed them your teeth. They learned the hard way. 

That being said, the Captain wasn’t wrong to trust that you’d be responsible. You remained in the habit of making your bed after showering in the morning but given that you only had an hour the reverse should happen. You made the bed, tucking it drum tight in each corner like it’d been beaten into your noggin as a kid. Difference is there were no furs to layer atop the flat sheet, just the simple slate colored blanket that was a bit rough to the touch. You didn’t care. This setup was an improvement over a bedroll on cold ground.  


The showers are a situation where being comfortable in your own skin helped. But the amount of scar tissue you had on display was disconcerting to some. These are not necessarily badges of honor for surviving. To you, they represented moments where you screwed up. Your first scar was a slanted line across your throat from Mother. She didn’t mean to cut you. You startled her one night. It was a pale mistake that never ebbed away.

After your first scar, you seemed to collect the damn things. These are what comes from living beyond the walls. Most of them were flat, others are slightly puckered inwards. You don’t have the same softness that many of the younger cadets do. You glimpsed a few in passing, hiding themselves as modestly as they could in the showers. Did they not experience this in training camp? A few would shyly hold up towels for friends as though to guard their maidenhood, they shivered and squeezed their eyes shut. Your own gaze slid by them like they were part of the tiled wall. 

It’s not that you hated their nervousness. This place was strange for you too. But you chose not to dwell on the fact that you’re completely exposed to other women in here, because they’re as vulnerable as you are. Best be quick about this and get out.

After a whistle-stop scrub down, you were drying off and getting dressed; now stopped in front of a mirror to see how many cuts you had from yesterday. You place the hem of your new green v-neck between your teeth, now eyeballing a damn good bruise blossomed across the taut muscle tone of your abdomen and touching around it cautiously. You thought somebody was watching, but decided to ignore her.

Said person is a woman with blonde hair and light blue eyes who was also getting ready close by. Most people ignore each other in here. Do your business and get out. Don’t make it weird. But Nanaba already met with their crop of new recruits, and your face wasn’t among theirs before the expedition. She’d definitely remember seeing a woman with so many scars before too, as she _did_ catch sight of your collection when showering.

There were some nasty ones. They're hard to ignore.

“Hey,” She said, stirring your mind alive again. “Are you alright?” You’d let your shirt hem back down and were now checking how bad some of the cuts on your face and neck were out of habit. Did they need treatment, would they become infected, are they very deep…but her voice jerked you out of reverie and you looked at her in the mirror, nodded once and started to harness up. “Yeah, I’m fine thanks. Yourself?”

“Also fine.” She watched you, the way you were closed off to the world right now. This is no different than so many faces she sees. “You must be who the Cadets were talking about. Haz, right?”

“’Haz’ or ‘Hazard’ may not be my real name, but that’s what I’m accustomed to. What tipped you off?”  
A soft smile. “I know everyone here. My name is Nanaba. Pleased to meet you.” 

You wrapped the waist sash around and then perched on a bench seat to slide on both boots, yanking them up to the perfect height. She watched you working fingers around the top before standing to pull the jacket on. “Right back atcha’. Well Nanaba, I’d love to chat longer but apparently the Captain’s sending me to get a physical thing and its making me nervous.”

Ohhh _Walls._ For a new soldier those are especially humiliating. “Just…listen to the Doctor and know that he’s not trying to be an ass.” Nanaba chose to say, hoping this would help. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Funny, that’s what my first guy said.” You drawled, smoothing the front of your shirt down beneath both front straps. She was left blinking and at a loss of how to respond given the dry nature of this remark. “Thanks for the advice.” A pause as you turned to leave. Then, “Incidentally, I almost said ‘thanks for the tip’ but that would be too obvious. Later Nanaba.”

She stared at your retreating back. 

You had no time to screw around, having needed to eat quickly and assemble for this physical thing that left you so anxious. Nanaba’s words of wisdom intensified that worry. You didn’t bother finding anyone familiar to sit with as you hadn’t the night before either, simply pick a table and land at it. A lot of the squads ate together, or friends would gravitate towards one another. The 104th Cadets were a prime example of that. 

Speaking of whom, said Cadets were lined up along the wall in the infirmary hall, one being brought in after another: males on the left side, females against the right. The corridor was full. You caught sight of Sasha and Mikasa at the back of the line and across from them, the boys were also bunched up along the wall looking completely wrecked. Except Armin, who was staring at a spot and thinking. “Hey there.” You said, stopping behind Sasha. She jumped and almost cracked her head back against the wall, a palm on her forehead. “D-don’t…oh….heeeey…is it bed time again?” She sounded kind of whiny, yanking her coat up over the back of her head to shade her eyes. 

You quirked a brow and leaned around her to look at the dark-haired girl beside her. “Mikasa, what’s wrong with Sasha?” Mikasa turned. She was mirthless right now. “She’s hung over.”

“There’s been alcohol available and I didn’t get any?”

“There was, but it came at a price. Captain Levi found them out.” She motioned to the others, including Eren, who wasn’t much feeling the effects now. His titan shifter body burnt up the alcohol quite fast. Jean and Connie were cursing him out for that factoid. 

“That’s rough.” You were recalling Levi's threat last night, about scrubbing every window with a toothbrush. “Did he put them on cleaning detail or something?” Mikasa shook her head again. “No. He had them run it off until they were sober. They did laps for hours.” You listened to her explanation; eyebrows raised as you realized this is the result of relaying information to Levi. It sounded bad but could have undoubtedly been worse. And you had no intentions of telling them that you had a hand in this. There would be no sense. 

“Guessing you didn’t go?”

“I asked Eren and Armin not to. Armin listened.” The way Mikasa said ‘Eren’ implied that she is pissed off at him. You gave a sardonic smile. “Uh-oh. Eren’s in the doghouse~”

“Wh-what?” 

“You’re inseparable. I figured you two are sleeping together.” You said blankly, gauging her reactions. Mikasa has great control of herself because she only flushed a little, still, it was enough to be awkward. “Don’t be silly. We’re childhood friends.” She said, sinking into her scarf. “Eren’s…Eren is…” She didn’t finish, regressing back into her shell. You wanted to knock on her forehead and ask her to come back out, instead you folded your arms and leaned back beside Sasha with a sigh. This drove home the point that you are in the company of several teenagers. There are other cadets in different age groups, people could join from nearly any age providing they’re fighting fit. Primarily they’re younger.

You could _smell_ the damn hormones.

While waiting, Sasha’s head started drooping onto your shoulder. You rolled your arm in socket to discourage her, but she grabbed on and pressed her jacket-covered head into the nook of your neck like she needed a cuddle. You gritted your teeth. “Sasha…”

“Mmmm…five more…”  
Sigh.  
“...pancakes…mmmm….” A bead of drool began to slide out the corner of her mouth.  
_”OFF!”_ You jerked your arm from her grip and she staggered awake, saucer-eyed beneath the collar of her coat. “Aiie!! Heeey I was…I was…wait, where am I?” She lowered her jacket back over her shoulders, confused. “When’s breakfast?” 

Mikasa turned and eyeballed Sasha for that. “We ate already. You need to try and stay awake, Sasha.” You leaned away, lest she try to dribble on your shoulder again. You’d seen her drool before, it can get serious. Last thing you wanted was to get reamed by Levi for having stains on your uniform. You’ve seen him lay into others for less. Even bloodstains resultant of combat are barely excusable.

The lines would move along and eventually you were brought in to be checked over by a man who you had a very hard time minding. The nurse with him insisted that nothing unusual was happening here, and if you could please cooperate so they can get underway…yeah, but what’re the stirrups for, lady?! 

“You want me to do WHAT?”  
“I promise he’ll be quick; this is strictly to make sure you’re healthy. It is a simple pelvic exam. There will only be a little pressure, I assure you it’s nothing strange. Now please, would you get on the table?”  
Nanaba’s words came back to you. That whatever it seems like, they aren’t trying to be disgusting. “Fine. If he tries anything I don’t like, I’m jabbing that metal thing over there up the hole in his dick. See how _he_ likes being violated.”  


“Please miss, there’s no need for threats. He is a trained doctor, and this really is in your best interest. We need to be able to give you a clean bill of health then you can go about your day.” Bless her heart, she was trying so hard to be nice. Seeing as how you wouldn’t be able to leave otherwise you grudgingly obeyed. By the end of that embarrassment you could leave with your ‘approved’ paper, growling things that made the male cadets blush as you strode past them with _such_ aplomb. There was only a handful left. Everybody else was through their medical humiliation and heading outside. But you had been asked to bring your paper directly to the man himself, whose office was pointed out by Petra yesterday.

You went there now, knocking sharply. 

“Enter.”

You did so, moving in with the same self-assured stride as before. None of your irritation faded during the walk here. Erwin raised his eyes from his paperwork and smiled. “Good morning.” He greeted politely. “I take it that you passed?” You were ready to say something scathing and settled for glaring daggers, which Erwin didn’t seem bothered by. In the end you said nothing and offered him the document. He accepted and looked it over.  


The doctor has ruled that you are a perfectly healthy and normal Eldian female from head to heel, which was a relief given your suspected lack of contact with medical personnel. He put the paper away. Looking back over at you, he could see that you were still concealing how violated you felt with confidence. It was kind of cute. 

“I’m aware that was unpleasant. But now you have a clean bill of health and are set for the year.” 

“I could’ve told you that I’m _fine_ without a random man—” You broke off, bit a lip, closed your eyes and vented a nasal sigh. There was no point. “Never mind. Uh, sir.” 

The ‘cute’ factor intensifies. He was in a good mood and this mixture of attitude and awkwardness was endearing. “I also understand that there is much you don’t know about our way of life.” He appreciated that you kept your posture drawn in, not exactly at attention but close. He could tell that you’re learning fast, your upbringing helped with that immensely. “If you have any questions you feel uncomfortable bringing to anyone else then you are more than welcome to visit.” 

Head-tilt. “Really? I can tell how busy you are.” You gestured to the paperwork. Erwin shook his head a little. “That never changes. My offer stands.” He was radiating an aura of strength and calm. You had to wonder how well this man understood the effect he has on others. His levelheadedness made it easier to cool off.  
“Then thank you, sir. I will remember that.”

Hah. They really _are_ making a Scout out of you. “Did you need anything else from me? Hopefully nothing embarrassing?” 

“Please.” He motioned for you to sit down. You did so, curious what more Erwin would have to say right now. His paperwork was beginning to tower. You could swear it got taller every time you looked at it. 

“You have already passed what examinations we’ve given. I will not insult your intelligence by lying about this, you clearly understood what was happening yesterday afternoon.” 

“Then it _was_ a test? I started wondering if that alcohol thing was contrived.”

Erwin raised his prominent eyebrows a fraction. “Hah, that was unfortunately very real. Levi saw fit to use the opportunity as an aptitude test of sorts.” You nodded once; eyes fixed upon his. He’s hard not to make eye contact with when he’s feeling relaxed, though strangely you recalled plenty of soldiers refusing to do so themselves. There aren’t many who want to look a Commander in the eye. “Okay then. I’m not sure how to take that information.”

“I know it must seem rude.” The Commander responded calmly. “We prefer to err on the side of caution. Now I must ask, what made you lie to Petra? It wasn’t crucial information.” 

“Oh, she made a remark about what Le…uh, _Captain_ Levi and I talked about. I happened to be closer to the cadets and could overhear them better. He asked me to relay what I heard and then before I knew it, I felt like I was ratting them out. Which bothers me. If Petra didn’t know what we talked about, it wasn’t my place to tell her. And frankly I’m embarrassed by how much I don’t know.”

“Yet you chose not to lie to _me_ just now.” That glint in those blues of his--was he going to try playing this cat and mouse thing with you too? You frowned at him. “Permission to speak plainly?”

“Granted.”

“Sparing the wide-eyed bullshit, you’ve proven yourself trustworthy in our past dealings. Either you were being real, or you’re a very convincing and consistent liar. But we fought together when others couldn’t protect themselves. Prior to then you could’ve killed me in my sleep, taken what was needed and left. But you didn’t. Whether or not that’s because you saw me as a tool or a person is immaterial. I choose to believe that you were being real with me and continue to do so until I see proof otherwise.”

He wasn’t looking away, countenance betraying none of this thoughts. Erwin remained level as always. This man was shaken by nothing, but you couldn’t know he was containing a mixture of disbelief and intrigue. You are the rare woman he could grow to like_ far_ too much, potentially more than Marie. He knew this now, and he knew to be careful of that trap. You’re sharp. Possibly _too_ sharp. It has been about a day and you’ve been picking up on things rapidly. You certainly have the smarts of an Aaltonen, and a nice body also. But what was getting to him is your mind.  
Erwin Smith hoped he would not regret offering for you to visit him as necessary. The mission is too important to mix business with pleasure. 

He made a note, finally turning his attention from you to a page open on his desk. “When Gunther threatened you, what went through your mind then?”

“I’ve seen people bleed out from a nick on the thigh. A man who is threatening to kill me for information can as easily murder me after he gets what he wants. Come to that…if I’m the only one who possesses that information he needs; he’d be shooting himself in the foot by doing away me. I’d sooner die on principle alone if I couldn’t find a way out.”

“And if he chose to torture you instead?” 

“I’m no stranger to pain. May whatever he holds dear help him if I get free, for I _will not_ hesitate to do worse.”

While he listened, Erwin leaned an elbow on his desk, touching his chin thoughtfully. He was highly intrigued as to what the hell caused you to develop such an attitude out there, but that’s _hardcore_. The type of hardcore he’s seen from other veterans surviving hell. It is easy to say anything and sound as though you mean it, instead they chose to see what your actions say about your persona and ask for clarification after. He was more than content with their findings but this, too, was not reflected in his disposition.  
As he was considering, you noticed that the knuckle of his index finger was against his full lower lip. You let yourself wonder what he tastes like. Erwin shifted his hand away slightly when he talked, only to rest his chin again after. “What about when Eld and Oluo attacked you? How did you reconcile striking back against two men who are meant to be your allies?”

“Same as I’ve already said. Whoever tries to kill me had better start running if they fail. Not even joking. It’s happened often enough.” Your shoulders lifted into a shrug. “Ultimately, they had no problem doing the same. I’m not going to hold back on their account, Eld and Oluo seemed to get that.”

“Very good. One last thing.” He lowered his hand from his chin and scrawled another line down, followed by a couple more. His gaze wasn’t on you when he asked the following: “What was going through your head when you saw that titan attacking me?” You’d been watching his sculpted forearms. His jacket wasn’t on and both shirt sleeves were rolled to the elbow. You could see tendons ripple as he wrote.

When no response came, Erwin looked up from his paper. You met his azure gaze shamelessly when he caught you watching. “Nothing.” You said at last. 

“Nothing?” This is repeated in a deep voice without disbelief. Without a note of emotion. Were you saying ‘nothing’ because he saw you watching intently, or was it your answer?

“I’d like to tell you that I thought, ‘I told him not to die!’ But the truth is that an impulse has no words.”  
He knew the last part in that sentence from before was ‘don’t die _handsome_‘, but you didn’t say it. Not as a newly minted Scout. He’d been wordlessly daring you to, but you wouldn’t hear him no matter how keen you are.  
He also knew it’d been awhile. You visited his thoughts on occasion, but in general he was so consumed with work he didn’t have spare moments to muse over women. Likewise, you did not waste hours constantly daydreaming about unavailable men. You hadn’t hit on him since arriving, which was a big departure from how you acted in Vanaheim. No, the Commander knew _exactly_ what changed. 

Having taken your words into consideration, Erwin closed the file. “I appreciate your honesty, Ms. Aaltonen.” He arose, bringing this folder to place in another drawer for safekeeping. Afterwards he paused at a window out of habit, checking the green below for activity. They’ve been setting up outside. Busy as Smith is, he’s always keeping vigilant. The Survey Corps doesn’t run itself.  


There where rows of Scouts standing still as a figure paced up and down in front of them. Others were setting the area up for a special exercise. He recognized it immediately; this week Erwin was letting his Section Commanders coordinate with Special Ops to hash out the training schedule. Evidently, they chose to have a little fun with who could participate. The Commander has a say in the matter whenever he wants, but directly after the expedition he was so slammed with paperwork he left drills to Hange, Miche and Levi. Hange was sitting this one out with her team since they have titans to prod, but even she had a mandatory minimum to fulfill. He’d see that she made it up later.

“How’s the arm?”

He turned back around and smiled gently. “Fine, thank you for asking. I should have full use of it again soon.” He turned his face back to the window, smile evaporated. “You’ve caught me thinking that if my stitches weren’t so new, I would join them today.”

A blink. “You do that?”

Unintentionally cute. Erwin chuckled under his breath at your unassuming naivete. “Of course. I can’t afford to get sloppy.”

“Hey if you need a sparring partner, I’m down for that. I can always work off some anger.” Smith didn’t move from watching them down below. You took his silence to mean that he wasn’t going to accept your offer. Therefore, subject change. “Eld says they’re doing something called Rabbit.”

“Yes.” Erwin’s imposing form returned to life. He looked over his shoulder and cocked a brow, having detected your immediate interest. Oh, he heard you. But he was not trusting himself to respond in a measured capacity. Now turning fully to face you with a very straight face, he decided to let you leave.  
“You should participate. Report directly to Captain Levi. I believe he’s off to the side.” The four specks away from the main body would be where he was, Erwin _knew_ that midget was down there. Levi wouldn’t miss this for the world. It was way too entertaining for him to divebomb rookies. As much paperwork as the Captain has, that ex-rogue gets twitchy if he doesn’t get his fill of sadism now and then. No one would hear _that_ out loud though.  
Erwin reflected upon the notion that you are similarly vicious. “I believe you will appreciate this particular exercise.” 

“Alright. And Erwin?” He looked right back at the omission of his title. “Thank you. I know this is a pain, there’s no getting around that. Much as it hurts me to say, you were right. I should’ve tagged along before. But I also don’t regret.”

He allowed his normally impenetrable gaze to soften a degree. A rare glimpse behind blue walls. Not completely. Just enough to see over the edge, showing that there is a man in this uniform behind that desk. “You’re quite welcome. It is an honor to accept one such as yourself among our ranks.” The right thing to say, the proper thing to say.  
Also, not what he _wants_ to say.

You knew the only fitting response was to place fist over your heart and then take your leave, which is exactly what you did. When the door shut he closed his eyes for a second and turned his head away, reopening them with an exhalation. It felt sad yet cruelly victorious for him to trap you in this cage with them. But you would have died out there on your own after much longer, and he saw a damn good Pawn in you. He already has two Rooks…so, potentially a second Knight, even. 

Or, Sina help him, a Queen.

_Closer To Earth…_

You jogged down to the grounds and joined up with Eren, Oluo, Eld and Levi off to the side. They were having themselves a small meeting while Section Commander Miche Zacharias in his ODMG walked up and down the rows of rookies doing push-ups, occasionally shouting out demands. That man seldom speaks, but when he does, his voice is hard to ignore. Eren brightened up with a grin when you joined their little circle. Actually, Eld and Oluo were kind of smiling mischievously also. “Reporting in. The Commander said I should come down and see you directly, Captain?”

Levi turned his frosty gunmetal gaze upon you, measuring you up as though he never had before. You forgot to salute him in greeting. “Yeah. As of today, you’re on my team.” He immediately headed towards the equipment shed. The group followed him like the wolf pack you may as well be, with you more stunned than you should be at this man’s declaration. “That means you will be partially responsible for watching Yeager here. He is aware that if his titan gets out of hand, we _will_ kill him as a last resort. Are you clear on that?” Levi asked, turning back around and fixating on you. You chose this opportunity to salute mockingly with a nod. “Sir yes sir, if Eren gets stupid, he gets dead. Got it.” 

“H-hey…” Eren’s protest was a weak one. There was a flicker in Levi’s hard stare as your hand lowered. He caught that you meant to be funny. You did not yet know if you’d regret it.

“Going to have a problem with that?”  
“No sir.” Your mouth twitched at the corners. You almost forgot the ‘sir’ part. “I suspect an out-of-control Eren would have no problem trying to crush me either.”

“That said, there is some leeway. We can talk about this later.” Levi let it go and continued to pace down the row to where the officer’s equipment is held. They get higher quality gear as they have earned it. Levi’s has max-volume fuel canisters and top-notch reel speed. You knew from working on it before.  
“Eld, Oluo, Hazard. Gear up. Yeager, don’t bother.” Levi thought of one more part to say, turning directly to you as his arms were behind his back, attaching the movement component. “One more thing: you are being brought in because I have determined that you can handle it. _Do not_ prove me wrong. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”  
“That’s what I like to hear.” He would leave the equipment shed first, and the team would troop out after him.

This was happening so fast. Days ago, you were outside the wall fending for yourself. Now you are part of the Survey Corps on their celebrated Special Operations team, the group headed by Humanity’s Strongest Soldier himself. The one even those jackholes in Trost didn’t dare badmouth. It’s not exactly climbing to the top, more of being recognized for your prowess and assigned accordingly.  


Levi Squad is entirely separate from the same ladder Miche and Hange had to climb to become Section Commanders, for example. This situation would not have happened if things didn’t go as they did beyond the wall. You’ve proven yourself to them before this whole situation went down. If not for that, you would be in with the rookies.  
You respected their judgement, as that’s what you have to do now. But part of you still wondered if this was a grim mistake. Or a fever dream in a dark hollow somewhere, barely avoiding being eaten. The demons never go away. But then, you couldn’t dream up that medical crud in a thousand years so…_definitely real._

Now outside, the Captain was waiting for Miche to conclude warm-up exercises. “Alright. Yeager, you’ll be a rabbit. Those of us wearing ODMG are hawks.”

Eren blinked wide teal eyes. “Excuse me sir, but what kind of game is this?” No sooner had he asked did Miche finish, motioning to Levi to do the more talkative parts which Zacharias didn’t care for. “Fall in.” Levi ordered briskly, going out across to where Zacharias was a second ago. Eren hurried to go stand by his fellows. You followed Oluo and Eld’s lead and stood in line behind Levi, hopefully adding to the formidable nature of what these greenhorns are seeing. Miche was also standing by with his own team. Currently that included Nanaba, Gelgar, Henning and Thomas. Lynne was preparing for maternity leave.

“LISTEN UP, BRATS! Today we’ll be having ourselves a nice little game of ‘Rabbit’.” Levi projected his voice and began to stalk across the front row. “That is, YOU are the rabbits…and we are the hawks. I’m sure everybody knows that hawks like to **eat** rabbits.” 

_’If not, you’re stupid.’_

“Your one and only job is to survive. The purpose of this is to prepare each and every one of you in the event you lose your gear and your horse in the field.” He turned and pointed behind him, across to a frame with dark cloth stretched over it between springs, nearly tight as a drum. A net was presently being set up around it. Oluo muttered out the corner of his mouth to you. “That’s to break their fall.”  


“Better and better.” You muttered back. 

“Now whenever you shitty little brats get yourselves eaten…which you **will**, you’ll be given a time stamp.” He seemed to become more and more predatory as he ambled back and forth, making sure the whole lot could hear him. “Don’t tamper with this time stamp, don’t trade them, don’t go back out on the field and interfere with the exercise, don’t hide around the trampoline or your dead-ass friends. DO NOT go out of the boundary. If I catch ANYONE trying to pull the wool over our eyes, whoever’s involved will be on double time for ONE FUCKING WEEK. And whoever tries to go out of the boundary will be on double time for TWO WEEKS. Believe me when I say the trees have eyes. Do I make myself clear?”

“SIR!!!”

He would go on to explain the remainder of the rules. It was simple: the area is restricted to the field and into the forest, with part already cordoned off with rope and orange ties. It is hawks versus rabbits. Rabbits can get caught and dropped on the trampoline, and they are out of the game. The proctor or an assistant will provide a timestamp of when they flunked out. Eaten bunnies would stay by the trampoline to help others get off of it ASAP.  
Depending on how bad their performance is, they get extra duties. If they do exceptionally well, they get rewarded. Those that manage not to get caught for the hour duration would be allowed a free weekend. It was anticipated there might be one or two in this crop.  


After the punishments and rewards were explained, the rabbits were very eager indeed. 

For hawks, it’s similar: ‘eat’ as many rabbits as you can, your number gets tallied up, and also get rewarded or punished accordingly. Those who do poorly are going to have hell to pay. The point of this group being the predators was because of capability with ODMG. This ideally meant fewer people would get hurt. Being in the air for potentially a full hour without having to kill would be unexpectedly tough. The intent for the hawks is, ironically, to fine tune the ability to save a comrade from danger. It happens frequently out there. 

You thought of Erwin now. Not because you caught him before, but because he indicated he would’ve liked to join. Oh well. More bunnies for you. 

This game is only being done with rookies who volunteered and have proven they can handle some punishment. There are plenty more inside or at the outpost who weren’t picked to join in, with still others on bedrest from the 57th Expedition.

Rabbits, it should be said, were ordered not to fight if/when they get captured. That was so they don’t tumble and break a limb, unless they were sure they could squirm free and catch themselves without getting severely injured. The danger of this challenge was still real, even without having swords out or live ammunition.

Levi concluded his explanation and turned, walking back over as you looked between Eld and Oluo. “Does this really go for an hour?” The game proctor by the trampoline shouted. “AAAAND---BEGIN!!!” 

Team Rabbit scattered. They were given a minute head start.

“Not usually.” Eld said. “An hour’s the maximum they need to pass to win that free weekend they’re salivating over.” His smirk came out in earnest. “It’s nothing compared to what they’d have to go through if they lost their gear and their horse outside the Wall. The titans won’t drop them on a trampoline.” No kidding. It then came down to survival training and hoping a comrade would ride by.

You cracked your knuckles as the minute wound down. “Ohhh, I SO can’t wait to make those sweet little bunnies _squeal.”_

Levi approves of your viciousness. “Oy. Remember that when they’re crying in your ear. I don’t want to hear you bitching about going deaf.” He intoned dryly while eyeing the time on a pocket watch. 

Tick, tick, tick, and…mark. “NOW MOVE OUT! Eat those fucking brats _alive.”_

“SIR YES SIR!” And four hawks dispersed to four directions amid their fellows. You glided to the east with the wind brushing your face. Ever since you could use it, you knew you were born for this gear. It was an extension of your body, like they say in fables about warriors from distant lands. You are a soldier now. But you were feeling like yourself again as you re-fired both anchors and watched for an opportune target.  


Miche Zacharias was first to catch one though, kicking off after that grace period and storming down to catch a girl around the middle effortlessly before she finished crossing his path. He bore her up and away as though she weighed nothing. To him she probably _did_ weigh nothing. He swung around and deposited her on the trampoline, causing her body to bounce up and down with a series of shrieks, looking ready to vomit. She would puke upon making it to the edge.  
You soared by and locked on to another cadet, who was hauling ass straight for a tree while holding his friend’s hand. She was grabbed from his hand by Oluo. The cadet flat out bolted. 

A chase. You felt adrenaline threading your body, diving as this cadet flattened himself against the tree trunk, hoping you’d veer off. He yelped when you anchored instead, caging him with a boot on either side of his hips. “No---NONONO!!!!” He panicked and tried sliding down, but you pulled him roughly against your torso and sailed away as far up as you could go with pines rising on either side. Which was _quite_ high, incidentally. 

“OH GOD!! PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!!!” He wailed in your ears, making you wince. This teenager is loud and a bit on the hefty side. You let him fall over the trampoline from up high as a result. “AWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” He screamed the whole way down, heart hammering in his ribcage until his back met cloth, absorbing shock and hopefully his terror with it. ‘Boing!’ The trampoline was massive enough where others could drop more of them without causing these poor cadets to crack into one another. Did they get what they signed up for when they agreed to this thing?  
Levi snagged Connie as he was dashing for a better source of cover, having looked both ways first. Before he could yelp, an icy voice by his ear froze his spine solid. “Don’t fucking _think_ of screaming in my ear, shithead.”  
“!!!” He flung poor Connie down. “Whoa-AAHHHHH!!” 

Boing.

Nearby, Nanaba was chasing Sasha down, who was running with a bread roll in her mouth.

_In The Forest…_

Freaking out! Sheer animal fear, teammates disappearing into the air with more figures racing overhead.  
It didn’t matter that titans aren’t what’s after her, she’s a titan herself. But Ymir wanted to make sure Christa made it too, and she couldn’t transform to do that. “Ymir—YMIR, we’re _fine!!”_ Christa shouted, trying to ground the other cadet by digging her heels in. Ymir stopped before pulling the girl’s arm out of socket, looking back while panting. Damn it…she’d never find a good make out spot at this rate!

“Christa—DUCK!” She pulled the girl down as a shadow passed over head; so swift and low that it nearly scalped Ymir who felt fingers rake by gut-wrenchingly close. “Damn.” They heard Thomas’s voice remark as he flew away, turning around another tree for a second pass. Christa’s pupils contracted as she saw this, twisted away and bolted with Ymir’s wrist in hand. “Come on!” It was by the skin of their teeth that they plastered themselves to a tree and Thomas blazed by. He found another unfortunate soul instead and ‘ate’ them, picking the boy up with minimal effort. They had a clear visual of others getting plucked from the field by Team Hawk, who was taking literally every prisoner they could get their talons on. The bunnies were losing hard. They weren’t meant to, but they were forgetting themselves and giving in to blind fear. Titans are bad, but they’re also far from anybody’s thoughts right now when these veterans are raining hell down upon them. This was a whole new brand of ‘scary’.

Oh well. Ymir cared not for those losers. She wanted to find a place to (finally) coax Christa into seven minutes of heaven, longer if she could get it. They’d be tucked away safe and emerge victorious, claim that free weekend for themselves, and then have a blissful 48 hours together. It is a perfect plan. She knew they could succeed if Christa would just—stop—RESISTING!  
The blonde was too insistent for Ymir’s tastes today. She’s been willful of late and pushed away, stepping over a fallen log and peering through the forested gloom cautiously. 

Not a rustle. Nothing. Whew! “I think we’re the last ones in here.” Ymir listened, narrow eyes flicking side to side, up and down. Indeed, nothing.

Until…

_Your POV…_

There. A glimpse of yellow.  
They didn’t know what hit them.

“NO! CHRISTA!!” Ymir howled as the teen’s skinny arms slipped through her fingers, right along with her fantasies. Your mouth ripped into a bloodthirsty grin that should’ve contained fangs, carrying Ymir’s darling away. Christa squirmed almost uncontrollably at first. “AHHH—Ymir, HELP!!! No, NO, no! Put-me-DOWN!!!”  


“Whoa _watch it,_ you want to fall?!” You snapped. Her hair was blowing past your shoulder in a golden wave as she began to cling for dear life and squeezed her big eyes shut. You corrected course and arced back around. This wasn’t _so_ bad when they didn’t fight. When not using a sword, it was certainly easier to hold a person against your body without potentially hurting them. The triggers themselves don’t need to be pointed at anything, it’s the anchors you had to worry about. Christa being smaller helped, so you could hold her to the side under one arm and perch some of her weight along the tank on your scabbard as though it were a rounded shelf. It’s not comfortable and it pulls your harness tighter, but this helped avoid needing to hold her side-profile between the anchors on either side of your hips. You have plenty of upper body strength from working as a blacksmith, that much was a saving grace right now. It might not be enough to pick up any of the bigger guys, though.

You let her fall. She dropped head over heels to the below where a proctor was already writing her time down.  
Then it was goodbye Christa Lenz, helloooooooo Eren Yeager! You would’ve gotten him too, if it weren’t for Eld pelting by and catching the poor shifter. “OOF!” Eren grunted, feeling much as though he got hit by a ton of bricks. _’I have to be faster.’_ You thought, anchoring to a tree and casting around for another rabbit.  


“EREN!!!” Mikasa shouted and broke from cover under your tree, as usual reacting on impulse when it comes to her friend. You watched her go, waiting, waiting—perfect. Dive. Mikasa heard the singing of your cables in time to tuck and roll. You flew safely past, impressed with her reaction speed for having been practically on top of that girl. But then, one with yet more impressive reflexes caught her: Levi, her fellow Ackerman. He was a green blur that hauled her up and away, with Mikasa partially over his shoulder as though she were a sack of wheat. His size certainly belies his strength. You carried on with finding another one and would pluck several more cadets from their hiding spaces within the next twenty minutes or so. Being the newest you were not expected to clean them up as well as Levi, Eld and Oluo. Those three are incredible, and Gunther and Petra would be too if they were here. But you were proving yourself.

Not wanting to be outdone, you’d press on. As the herd thinned it was getting harder to find them. Some liked the falling and bouncing, others simply thought it was funny to see their friends get caught. On your way through you saw movement in a bush—turned out to be Jean, who thought he’d be safer by the woods. Unfortunately, he’s also going to be a bit much to grab with one arm. Jean’s a little taller than you and is also reasonably muscular for his age. One of the other cadets you picked up was also a bit heavy, there was no sense in taking an unnecessary risk. You anchored high above his hiding spot and looked anywhere but down, which hopefully lulled Kirschstein into a false sense of security.  


Miche was on his way through, you spied him out the corner of an eye. Hmph, now _there’s_ a big strong bastard. He’ll do. “HEY SECTION COMMANDER! “You shouted, attracting his attention and pointing downwards. He responded by flying across the tree you were sticking against, grabbing onto the startled Kirschtein as he tried to break for new cover once he realized he was busted. “SH-SHIIIIIIT!” Jean yowled. You ziplined away, delving back into the woods. Was Ymir right where you left her? 

Well…not far off. She was flat out running from Henning, also succeeding in dodging beneath him a few times. Too bad. You dialed up a speed burst and overtook him, shifted into a wide spiral and captured Ymir, boosting her off the ground and leveling out with her incoherent snarling filling your ears. Henning branched off and snagged another cadet who was revealed on a tree branch.

_“Yummm_, fresh caught rabbit. Roasted over open flame, hint of maple syrup…” Dreamy sigh. “Mm. Heaven.”  
“Put me DOWN you freaking cunt!!”  
“Okay then, into the fire you go!”  
“AHHH--!!!” Boing-boing-boing. She belly-crawled to the edge of the trampoline, mumbling expletives. 

Gelgar and Oluo were dropping a couple more off and the hour was going to be up soon. You landed and scanned for more. Miche alighted upon the same tree. “Thanks for the heads up.” His baritone voice said, attracting a half-smile as you looked across to his branch. “No problem. We’re on the same team, yeah?”

“Yeah. You gave up a point, though.”  
“No big deal. I’ll live without it.” You were both keeping your heads on the swivel, checking for any movement. Whichever bunnies were left, they hid themselves beautifully. “How’ve you been?” Miche asked after a minute. You noticed him raise his head and sniff the wind.

“Rough.” You admitted, curiously watching him sample the air. “Better now, I think. How about yourself?”

“I’m good.” A man of few words. Why say six when two will suffice? This was rather appealing. His nose might be larger than average, but then, so’s his whole body. And apparently that nose is quite keen, he shot away without warning and roped himself another cadet. You watched him go. That’s the kind of guy who can probably have whatever he wants when he wants it. You didn’t know if you should be wary or interested. _’Hey, there’s a recruitment pitch: Ladies! Are you considering serving your country? Join the Survey Corps, we have ALL the hot men.’_ Snicker. Well, perhaps that’s not fair. 

Time’s up.  
Who was left?  
One blond cadet. Armin Arlert.

You stopped snickering and coasted over to land beside your team as they congregated. Cadets were made to split up by time bracket and would be provided punishments or rewards as necessary. Mikasa was the favorite to win from the start, but her lack of impulse control relating to Eren got her ‘eaten’. Armin felt like a jerk for hanging back when he saw them go, but he also knew neither were in danger of anything beyond a ding on their pride if they didn’t fuss when grabbed. As a prize for using his brain, Armin was now allowed to have this upcoming weekend off. He was ecstatic. 

However, the majority ended up with more work, most who did well could sleep in until 10am tomorrow. Levi stalked over to the group and fixed each of you with that level, detached stare of his; from Eld, to Oluo, last to yourself. If he was pleased, his face didn’t betray that. “Tch…well done. Drop off your gear and you’re free the rest of the day. Now beat it before I change my mind.” 

“SIR!” In unison. You were fast to scram after Oluo and Eld, with the adrenaline haze finally wearing down. “Eren got caught early on, how bad off do you think he’ll be?” You asked them. “Pretty bad, Captain Levi’s probably still cross with him after that drinking thing on top of this.” Eld admitted. Eren is in Levi Squad, but the exception for him is because he’s a titan shifter. He may have been in the top ten of the 104th; but using the gear he wasn’t currently on par with Gunther, Eld, Petra, Oluo…and now, yourself. Experience also widened this gap. He may be very capable and has plenty of guts and ‘can-do’ attitude, but Yeager is very much learning how to control his titan.

“A whole afternoon free, and Hange has my journal. I’ll be so bored.” You voiced while sitting down to refill both tanks, again following their example. Oluo grunted something about having a place he might go, but wasn’t sure yet. Eld smiled at you. “If you’re planning to get it back, the Section Commander might try to suck you into an experiment. Before you know what’s happening, she’ll have you agreeing to things you don’t understand.”

“Listen, you don’t need to tell me twice. The other day I woke up to the stench of titan puke. How is she allowed to keep those bastards _inside_ the castle? Seriously.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Had I thought of it I would’ve checked in later, when you didn’t get brought down to the mess hall for dinner I figured one of Hange’s squad picked up her food and yours.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Kind of touched in the head, but she’s good people. Once she gets going, though…”

_“She never stops.”_ Said Oluo and Eld at once. 

You laughed.


	12. Don't Choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't choke, don't blow it, be mindful. Sometimes it's enough to win, until you lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: I want to take this time to thank every last one of you for the reads, reviews, kudos, bookmarks…it is so lovely to hear from you guys, and I appreciate the hell out of all of you. I mean it. <3
> 
> Please stay safe and be well, again, I implore you. This virus crud isn’t going away.
> 
> BTW: LOTS OF CRUDE DOUBLE ENTENDRES HEADED YOUR WAY  
WAHAHAHAHAAAA...if you get them, I'd love to hear. :3

Don’t Choke

The remainder of your afternoon itself was about as uneventful as anticipated, and Eld proved right: when you caved and found your way back to R&D after dinner, Hange was there to try and tempt you in to an experiment.

You were having none of it. “I’m only here to see if you’re done with my book.”

“Er, no, we aren’t. Why do you need it?” She asked, adjusting her glasses. They manage to refract a mirrorlike shine between candelabras. You placed hand to hip. “Well, I usually fill my hours by pounding metal, but since I couldn’t do that for so long, I’ve been writing and drawing. Thought I’d do some of that before bed.”

Hange chewed her chapped lower lip, considering. “Well…we still want to look through it, but you’re welcome to do that in here if you want.” May as well cave. If you’re hanging out with them, she might be able to tease more info out of you. That, and she could potentially rope you into helping anyway. You nodded. You rapidly touched upon the same conclusion: there was no sense in pushing if she was kind enough to meet you halfway. “Fine. Don’t suppose you guys have a ruler, pencils, a knife to sharpen with…?”

“Yes. You’re welcome to borrow whatever you need; but that book can’t leave this room until we’re done with it.” She turned and glanced around solemnly before Moblit held it up, having found your father’s journal. You crossed to him and accepted it. “Thank you.”

“Actually,” He began. “I have questions.” He thumbed it open and showed what he meant. Hange came over and peeped over your shoulders. “Ah. Yeah. Thermite.”

“What?”

“Thermite. See here these elements, here? Iron Oxide and Aluminum. He would use it for exothermic welding. Father was tinkering with the format to increase potency. Enough of this will cut straight through a stack of metal plating when ignited.”

“And this?” He flipped pages and pointed. 

“An alternate siege weapon known in older days as a ballista. The bolts would be large enough to skewer maybe two or three titans front to back providing they aren’t too big. I made another schematic for exploding bolts, too. It would carry a payload of slow-moving explosives that make sure the napes and everything are completely vaporized. If my math is correct it should turn them into smoking red paint.”

“Slow moving.” Hange echoed disbelievingly and shook her head vigorously. “Nuh uh, no way. Faster is always better in the Survey Corps, don’t you know this by now?”

“What, are you serious? No. Slower moving explosions equal more damage. Even so, it’s not like it takes forever if that’s what you’re thinking…” You trailed off and turned your back to the table to eyeball the brunette. “Wait a second. If this is Research and Development, what exactly is your field of expertise, Section Commander?”

“Biology, silly! Titans and methods of trapping them.”

“Ahah.” You faced the table, drumming fingers on roughshod wood. These were long work benches in here with metal legs and wooden tops, they hit close to stomach height where you stood. “Then maybe leave the technical details to those trained for it.”

“Like yourself?” She brightened, leering. You waved her off. “Hold your horses there, Section Commander. I just got assigned to Special Ops. I’m not in a hurry to jump divisions so soon.” You accepted the journal from Moblit, who gave an odd half-smile. “Speaking of which, we already saw your ODMG schematics. The Commander is going to be very interested.”

“That so?”

“They may not be very cost efficient if I interpreted them correctly, but there are those who would benefit. He’s going to come by this evening.”

“I’m so excited~” Hange drooled, clasping her hands and watching you pull a stool up to the work counter. “If given to those with a record of surviving Expeditions, they would make capturing titans much easier for us.” She began giggling madly at the thought. “Ohhhhh, my sweet, sweet darlings~” She went swanning away to the titans continuing to occupy the corner of the room. You stared after her. “Say, Moblit? Uh, I can call you that, right?”

“It’s my name.” He said, blinking. Of course, he got that you meant not knowing his title. You nodded. “Okay so Moblit…is she, uh…_psychologically_ troubled?”

“No more than you or I.” He said, turning to watch Hange prod her subjects, agitating both to no end. “The general opinion is she was hit on the head a few too many times.”

“Her too, huh?” You rubbed the side of your own, where there’s been a divot in your skull since you could remember. Only thing you _couldn’t_ remember is how it happened. “Oh well. I can sympathize with that.” You straddled the stool and picked up a nearby pencil, flipping to the back where you left off on a design. “What’s this one for?” Berner asked curiously as you studied the lines, remembering your intentions for it. His finger spanned along a list of elements as he read, mouthing silently. “Do you understand those?” You asked him, watching his digit pass below a chemical equation at the bottom. “Somewhat. But as with Section Commander Hange, most of what we know around here is regarding physiology. We leave the majority of technological improvements to the engineers in Industry City.”

“Probably better if you can’t read it, quite the same.” The end of the pencil was to your chin, pupils flickering across to the opposite blank page. You began marking down figures. 

“But what _is_ it?”

“The formulation for a very, very high yield bomb.” 

His gaze swiveled to your face as he took a step away as though you bit him. “Why the hell would you want to make one out in Vanaheim?” Was it for the Wall? No, that’s silly. There’d be no point.

“I’d been considering detonating the mine. It was so full of titans there was no way it could be cleared out with what fuel we had on hand, and the general concern had been they’d come out eventually and go straight for us. I last counted seventy-two of them loitering outside the entrance, with more visible inside. Never did learn why they were hanging around like that.”

His expression tensed. You got close enough to count them but not to engage them? “Planting a device like that would be impossible without notifying them of your presence. That’s suicidal on the face of it.”

“…don’t worry about it.” You said distractedly, reaching for the ruler. He picked it up and handed it over. “You were taught by your father, Abel Aaltonen. Why?”

“Thanks.” You accepted the wooden ruler and checked its markings over. To his question, you hummed. “Hmm, what can I say? He wanted a son. Got me instead. I grew up reading about engineering, metallurgy and chemistry. When they left Stohess, they took a trunk of books with them on the wagon of supplies they stole. Out of them, one was fairytales and the other was called The Hungry Titan. Those are brainless fluff.”  
Moblit absorbed your words, brow furrowed as he worked over the implications. “How old?”

“For what?”

“When you began reading his books.”

“Uhmmm…seven. I started helping him repair ODMG in the forge around then. Not very well mind you, but he gave me simple things to do.” You talk while the side of your hand maneuvers back and forth over paper, figures appearing in its wake. Moblit continued to watch intently. If he stuck you in front of an intelligence test, he wondered how you’d score. You are writing things down completely from memory, approximating measurements and stat weights now beside the sketched silhouette of an ODMG movement component. Your drawing comes out very crisp and technical indeed. Like a printing press setting ink on blueprint paper.  
Hange called him away. You felt Berner’s presence occasionally return to your side, same with Hange, and sometimes others in the room. But mostly you tuned them out. Should anybody--_literally anybody at all_\--attempt to distract from your machinations, you would simply continue to sketch and drawl: “I’m in this middle of this right now. You no longer exist.”

Until, of course, it got to the point where a person simply won’t be put off. And that person happens to be tall and blond. His palm had to land heavily on your shoulder to wake you up out of your oblivious state of pouring gallons of information onto paper from your braincase. “WHA!!” You whirled, pencil held underhand like a dagger so the point was guided for the intruder’s throat. There was a resounding ‘SMACK!’ as his hand caught your bare wrist several inches off from his neck.

Hange had her hands over her mouth, bug-eyed and quivering, snorting behind her fingers while Moblit stared agape. “D-did you just try to kill the Commander with a PENCIL?!?!”

“Apparently.” The tension in your wrist slackened and Erwin let go, his blues pinned coolly to your own orbs. The momentary iciness melted and he became openly amused at your reaction. Smith waved away Moblit’s concerns. “I didn’t intend to startle you, Ms. Aaltonen.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I stabbed someone for sneaking up on me.” How was he so chill about that? He’s probably been around enough people with that kind of reflex, you realized.

“We’ve been attempting to get your attention for fifteen minutes.” Erwin responded, and picked up the journal, letting the wooden ruler slide off the page and thud onto the desk. “The Section Commander insisted that I have a look at this.” He turned his blond head in her direction. “Although I originally came down to tell Hange she cannot continue to keep titans in here.”

“We’ll move them first thing in the morning!” Hange chirped. “I want them put outside to do that test, anyway!”

“What test would that be?” You asked, watching Erwin page through the book. 

“Ohhhh I’m SO GLAD you asked that, my dear~” She rushed the table, vaulted over it, and wrapped both arms tight around you, rubbing her cheek to your hair. “You’re going to make me a BIIIIG POT OF THERMITE and then I’m going to use it to see if it’ll burn through a titan! What’d’ya think, sounds like fun huh?!?!”

You gagged with the awkward positioning of her arms, one around your neck in a vicegrip and the other pinning your arms to your side. Upon hearing a kink in your spine ‘pop’ slightly, Erwin looked up from the journal to notice you begin to shift your weight back until Hange’s arm around your back was touching his side, the stool rocking onto two feet dangerously. He was about to move away when you awkwardly lifted a boot and seated it against her hip, succeeding in prying the woman off with a firm push. Her arms unlatched and she fell directly on her ass. “OW!!” Zoe was jarred on landing. She started to dry-heave as the stool dropped back onto all four feet with a ‘clunk!’. You crossed one leg over the other and both arms as well, affecting a stern appearance as you watched her coldly.

“S-Section Commander?”  
“HRRK!! Ulp…bucket, please…”  
“Did you just _swallow_ it?!  
“HRRRK!!” 

“Listen here _Section Commander_, first you need the ingredients for even a basic formula. And you don’t really want to light that stuff on fire without the proper protective gear. Finally, you’re never going to be in a position to set a titan up in the field with THERMITE of all things. It’s not practical.” You uncrossed your arms and rubbed your shoulder. She’d been hugging on you way too hard. Erwin watched from behind, unthinkingly rubbing the side of his aching neck. Fuck, he’d been staring at paperwork too long today.  
The look the Commander was receiving from Berner about your behavior would not be dignified with a response. Erwin found from experience that when it came to Hange invading personal space, it was best to let her find out the tough way. She never took it personally in her profound excitement anyhow.

At least you didn’t threaten her this time. 

She was sitting on the floor, nodding up at you from over the bucket one of the others provided. She propped her arms over the edges. “Yes yes, astute observations. You make great points. We’re still lighting some titans on fire. Even if I have to wait to get what’s needed. Get me a list and we’ll do this thing.” 

You couldn’t help but facepalm and swivel on the stool to look up at Erwin, who dropped his hand from his neck. _“Sir_, please tell me you see that this whole idea is worthless. Thermite has better applications elsewhere.” 

“We can get these things easily enough with our next shipment of materials. But Hange, she does have a point. This isn’t going to be applicable in the field.”

“Not necessarily in the field. But against the Armored Titan, if we could—UUAGH…_ulk.”_

“What the hell did you eat for dinner, titan puke?” You pulled your shirt over your nose and jumped off your seat. Erwin even had to backpedal a little to avoid the stench. “She’s been woozy since this morning.” Moblit finally said, kneeling beside Hange with a cup of water for her to rinse her mouth. In his estimation of things, it had to do with how she pushed herself too hard. Or maybe she did eat titan puke, for what he knew. “I think that shove did her in.”

“Yeah I’m trying to be sorry about that, but I don’t think I’m able.”

There was the sound of your journal being snapped shut. Erwin put it down on the table. “Ms. Aaltonen, please walk with me.” He nodded to those in the room and you blew out a sigh, following. Great. Did you get in trouble for the ‘sorry not sorry’? You had to walk a bit quicker to keep up with Smith’s large strides as he went down the hall, saying nothing for the duration of the first hallway. “You recall being told that we need Hange in one piece?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That includes not letting her push you into making explosives. She is intelligent, but there are times when she does not assess risk correctly. If she becomes too insistent and you have adequate reason to believe that she could be in the wrong, seek out myself or Captain Levi.” Erwin decides to take a lengthy route back to his office, looping around a part of the castle where nobody was currently situated. You keep up with him diligently while listening. “I agree that everything has a time, a place, a correct use case. Though she makes sense insofar as attempting to find a means to cut through the Armored Titan’s shell. I would like you to indulge her request once she obtains what’s required.”

“But that isn’t going to be an exact parallel, she’s talking about using thermite on one of those average titans in the lab. It’ll certainly work on them. But you are more interested in what it can do to the armor plates of the Armored Titan, sir, that’s not the same thing.” You noticed him dig at the back of his neck again, expression momentarily twitching in annoyance before he caught himself and stopped, resuming his usual calm exterior.

Hah…you’ve literally never seen this man annoyed until now. Even Erwin Smith is prone to such things. It probably had nothing to do with what you were saying, so you plowed ahead to think aloud. “If they actually are as similar to humans in composition as she was telling me the other day, there is a chance that the Armored Titan’s plated are made mostly of carbon and other trace elements. Carbon is part of what lends strength to steel at the price of making it more brittle. Anyone in Industry City who knows a damn thing about metallurgy could tell you the same.” You pulled on the waist sash as you walked with him. It had ridden up a little. “Hell, it’d almost be easier to just blow the damn plates off with an explosion rather than cutting through them.”

“He does have gaps in his armor, I saw them up close. They are large enough to get blades between.” His mouth was slightly curved. You sounded like you’d be a far better fit in Research and Development or the aforementioned Industry City, but he knew Levi was right on the money regarding keeping Eren safe. You’re skilled enough, and he couldn’t see you working well with Hange. She gets a bug up her ass about something, decides to get touchy-feely, and you flip your shit as a result. That would be too chaotic. 

“That’s an obvious weakness, but he doesn’t exactly sit still long enough to let somebody pull them off. Yeah…an explosion would be more efficient. The issue is figuring out how to deliver one. Some type of anti-armor grenades?” He watched out the corner of his eye as you pondered, saying nothing as he waited out your thought process. “Huh. That’s not a bad thought. It’d take a bit of artifice; one might be better off rigging up a trap and letting him blow himself up. But what would tempt him to follow through? That’s a titan shifter, they’re not nearly as stupid.”

He opened his office door, motioning you inside. You walked in, a hand to your mouth as you picked at your bottom lip while deep in thought. Erwin closed the door behind you. “I came to a similar conclusion regarding the Female Titan.” Erwin went and sat down behind his desk, choosing to put a hunk of wood and metal between your body and his. “We have the perfect bait. Though what we have for titan capturing devices fell short against the Female. I have no reason to believe it’d fare better against the Armored.”

“If you don’t mind me asking sir, what was that whole situation about? I heard her screaming, but I wasn’t close enough to know what was going on. Hange said very little.” Fact check time. Let's see if everyone is on the same page around here. You can't help if you don't have the details.

“I cannot say right now.”

You were surprised to hear this from him. Erwin had been quite open with you to all appearances up until just now. “Alright. But could you tell me what exactly failed in capturing her?” Azure eyes fixated serenely upon your face. Erwin was not concerned with the sort of questions you chose to ask. He actually liked talking to you and in this case, you’re trying to help decipher a problem. His paperwork was done for today and he had a couple open hours for once, so may as well spend them talking to a person he found intellectually stimulating.  
“The Female Titan’s scream attracts other titans. It was impossible to know this ahead of the attack, though she was able to be contained by our restraint cannons. The shifter chose to have her fellows cannibalize her body over letting us take her in. As for why we attempted such a mission, I still cannot say.”

“Commander, do you mean to tell me that if you had a way to stuff a gag in her mouth it wouldn’t have been be a problem?” You blurted out. He laughed. “In a manner of speaking, yes.” You liked his laugh. Erwin’s voice matches his appearance, he looks and sounds strong in every way. “Break her jaw and cut out the front of her throat. That ought to shut the bitch up.”

“Would that we could. She has the ability to harden her skin into a crystalline substance. This incidentally prevents us from cutting the nape as well as her tendency to cover it with her hands.”

“Nasty piece of work.”  
“Hm.”  
“Can she harden multiple points of her body at once?”  
Erwin shrugged. “We don’t have that information. Yet.”

There were a few moments of quietly watching one another. You understood there was only so much the Commander can tell you. “Was it worth it, this gambit of yours?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

A frown. “Do you often not inform your soldiers of what they’re riding into?”

“Didn’t you say that you trust me, Ms. Aaltonen?” Smith tilted his head only to be rewarded with a ‘crack’ from his neck. He generally carried an excess of tension in his neck and shoulders since you met the man. It seemed as though he would never be rid of that. Erwin put a hand on his shoulder again and turned his head in the opposite direction, but there was no pop this time. You could see that this result displeased him based more on body language than facial cues.  
“Commander, you look so tense that you’re ready to snap.” 

“It would help if I could work it out, but as previously said I have limitations with these stitches.” His hand dropped, resigned to bearing through it. You stood up and began to walk around the desk, slow enough to where he could stop you if desired. “Alright. I _do_ trust you. Do you also trust _me,_ sir?”

You intuit his answer. After you rescued him before, he would be an asshole to say ‘no’. “Yes. I trust you.”

“Then allow me.” You positioned your hands at the base of his neck and immediately felt him tense up more, right when you thought that wasn’t possible. “You are completely tightened up; I’m getting muscle cramps just watching. If it’s at the point where you’re subconsciously trying to ease the tension out, something has to be done about it.” You didn’t ask for permission to put your hands under his shirt and jacket. Being able to use the heat from your hands also helps warm the muscles up, so that is exactly what you did. His eyes widened when he felt you invade under his clothing, the heat of your palms on his shoulders, then your fingers working in around the trapezius on either side.  


“Feel that, right there?” You drew your fingers lightly across and situated your palms back over both sides of his neck, slowly drawing them down to transfer heat. “You carry everything on your shoulders, go figure. As a fair warning, this will hurt at first.” Once the area was sufficiently warmed up, you’d bear down on the most congested regions. These hands are certainly strong enough to manage. Though you were met with unintentional resistance at first, all this meant is you had to introduce more pressure through your digits. His body is certainly well defined, that’s quite obvious simply looking at Erwin. But feeling up on him is another matter. His shoulders are broad enough where you nearly cannot close the fingers of one hand over one side, but you’d make do.

Erwin felt himself start to involuntarily scrunch up as your fingers initially agitated the soreness, teeth clicking together. He should be hissing in pain. Getting this kind of tension worked out never feels pleasant to start. But then, as muscle after muscle unlocked, he was kind of melting under your palms.  
Being tense is his baseline. He was like a wire ready to snap.

“Any better?” You asked, pressing your knuckles in along his traps once more before working on the largest knot between his shoulder blades.  
“Much.” He sighed contentedly. This was the only thing he thought to say. This solitary word suggested that did not want to talk. He wanted you to shut up and keep massaging. You chose to seem blithely unaware. “Well I’m not an expert or anything. I don’t want to hurt you.”  


Laughable. He planned on showing you how funny it is that you thought you could hurt him when he’s able to spar again.  


The oddest part about this is it couldn’t be less sexual in nature. You genuinely felt bad for the man and knew that (personally) it was always appreciated when a friend would give a backrub; plus, you’ve never known anyone to refuse one when _you_ offered. Redwood helped now and then. She was a good friend. You still missed her and hoped that her husband and son at least made it out alive.

You worked on Erwin’s back as much as you could while he was still clothed, but it was now beyond the point of hurting. He simply relaxed back with his eyes closed and a very zen expression, breathing easily and appreciating the treatment. He does what he can to look after his people as a Commander by providing for them and keeping notes on their mental health. But Smith is still very much a man who needs physical contact himself with nobody who really looked after _him_. Levi would visit for tea and they’d talk as friends, Hange and Miche also, but that’s about where it ended. The guy needed another friend. Or something more. But that’s a no-no right now.

Speaking of which, the massage was beginning to feel -too- good, Erwin had to gulp back a groan. He didn’t want to get switched on.

“Aren’t your hands tired by now?” He reluctantly asked, a touch of huskiness making its way into his timbre. He heard your chuckle from somewhere behind his head and cracked an eye open, turning to peek at you over a shoulder. “Not quite. But I’ll take a hint and stop touching you, sir.” You removed your hands from beneath his shirt and thoughtfully straightened his jacket collar before strolling around to the door. He tilted his head, watching you begin to leave while idly noting that he didn’t feel the same soreness as before. “Thank you _very_ much for that. I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”

You turned and flashed a dazzling smile at him. “Anytime. Have a good night.”

“Good night.”

The Commander slumped back, letting his posture go completely to hell and staring up at the ceiling. Oh merciful Sina, thank you. There’s finally one female who’s trying to treat him like a human being, not a force to be reckoned with. You were continuing to show that you respect his rank, but moments like these helped ground him. He does his damnedest to treat them like humans; but it’s entirely too easy to begin thinking of soldiers as numbers to be moved around a board, placed into specific order on paper. Every so often he got one that would leap off the page.

And there you were in living color, walking away. The one from beyond. The physical proof that it’s possible to survive without walls. Not ideally, but still possible. He smiled to himself. Well…it’s going to be fun to see how you’re regarded in the Capital one day. You definitely don’t read as being from around here and have no regional accent. He was trusting that Levi would snap you into line, but part of him hoped it wouldn’t prove fully possible that Shorty could swing it. Smith liked the challenge paired with your wildness.  
Even before, he decided that you have what is easiest described as a wolf’s kind of pack mentality: obey the strength, but you’d rip someone’s throat out if you sensed weakness. Which is _exactly_ why he couldn’t put you with Hange, you have already shown that you’ll shove her around on two separate occasions.  
It had to be a person who has shown they are strong enough to give your attitude right back, and you’ve never seen Hange fight. But you _have_ seen himself, Miche and Levi in action. You respected them. Even when he was partially between a titan’s teeth, he wasn’t screaming with pain. So Erwin never had a problem with you the way Zoe does. That’s something the mad scientist would need to handle on her own and is perfectly capable of managing. 

Despite what kind of issues could arise, Erwin wasn’t upset at this sort of mentality. Respect should be earned, not automatically accorded. You might’ve had a stern upbringing, but that didn’t mean your folks taught you to obey certain ranks. It is good to have people who question authority, that way the authority in question can come back hard and prove to the rest of the rank and file who is in charge and _why_. Otherwise, terms such as ‘Commander’, ‘Section Commander’, ‘Captain’ and ‘Vice-Captain’ are words with no meaning.

The remainder of the evening would pass uneventfully.

_Long-ass Time Skip, Two Weeks Later…_

Life with the Regiment soon became tougher. You were given a few more days to adjust with very minor requests to be followed, but shortly that changed. Levi embarked upon beating things into you like he does with everybody, and you had since been ordered to clean and deal with drills and training like everyone else.  
After breakfast, you were with the others doing exercises. Laps are run every day. The other things switch off between stationary exercises, ODMG, horseback riding and sparring. But you best believe that Scouts don’t skip leg day. Ever. They don’t get to skip _any_ day unless they earn it. Yesterday was push-ups, sit-ups and squats—the staying-in-one-spot stuff. Today is sparring and ODMG maneuvers, but right now you’re running laps around the castle for the warm-up. Petra ended up becoming your running buddy once she was up to snuff, as did Mikasa whenever her and Eren were in a tiff. But today Eren caught up with you, and Mikasa was lagging back with the others. 

Yep. They’re having a disagreement again.

“What happened this time?” You asked the shifter. He huffed. “Can’t I want to run with you, Haz? Do I need to have a reason?”  
“In my experience that hasn’t been the case.”  
“Your experience is two weeks long.”  
“Got me there.” You said, pacing yourself.

Being in Levi Squad, this meant Shortcake expected a level of competitiveness against the others. You, Eren, Eld, Petra, Gunther and Oluo always had to be ahead of the pack. Levi sometimes joined, but normally he prefers to get most exercises out of the way before anyone else is up, this way he can monitor progress as others are busting their butts.  
“Alright well, I’m warmed up. Ready to take it up a notch? We’ll never hear the end of it from Oluo if he beats us again.”  
“Hell yeah, let’s pick it up!” Eren lengthened his stride in symphony with yours, and you both quickly caught up to Oluo, Petra, Gunther and Eld. “Later, bitches!” You shouted over your shoulder, disappearing around the bend with Eren who was laughing at Oluo’s face. “It’s not a race!” Eld shouted, even as he was picking up speed and they hooked the corner after.

“Then why’re you running so fast, bro?!” Eren screamed back, turning to run backwards for a second. You grabbed his shoulder and turned him roughly forward. “Focus!” 

“Jeez, fine.”

You’d both run fast enough to catch the end of the group, with poor Armin being one of the first you passed. He generally finishes his run on time, but today he woke up feeling way too exhausted. Poor guy. “Move it or lose it!” Eren screamed as you both split to dash around the pack, causing a bit of commotion and shouting. Levi watched from a distance with Miche, who was smirking a little. “At least he’s not in a mood anymore.”

“Tch…well, someone needs to be able to keep up with that brat, if the others won’t.”  
“Refresh my memory, which brat would you be referring to?”  
“…”

Miche’s knowing smirk widened before dissipating. He turned and folded his thick arms, watching you and Eren catch up with Nanaba, Henning, Gelgar and Thomas, none of whom were in any special rush. Neither of you said anything to them, they were chatting pleasantly, but their conversational tones became amused when the resident titan shifter and the bitch from beyond the walls went blazing by to catch up to Levi Squad again. “Hey,” You shouted at them. “You guys seem familiar, where’ve I seen you before?”

“Watch it.” Oluo growled. “Don’t think I won’t kick your ass.”  
“What, _this_ ass that’s passing you by again? You have yet to succeed, Dead Last.”  
“Tch…cocky bitch. I am NOT kidding.”  
Eren was cracking up, feeling too good from the rush to remember his frustration against Mikasa and how Armin and Sasha took her side. What was it about, even? He didn’t care. As you were both crossing them by with Petra sighing and Eld focusing on his run, Section Commander Zacharias called out. “Alright, that’s good enough! Fall in!”  
The whole lot would pull off the worn path and assemble. Most everyone was winded. Yourself and Eren included, but you a little less than him. Those months out in the wilds were beneficial to staying fit, but these guys don’t slouch either. Some never succeeded in building stamina, like Armin, who had his hands on his knees in the back row. People were allowed to breathe and then compose themselves into parade rest, feet ten inches apart and hands folded behind their backs. You did the same. Miche and Levi made their way over slowly, discussing how they wanted to pair off sparring partners today. 

As it was determined early on that most people will pick one person they’re comfortable with and stick with them, neither officer wanted to let that continue. This meant too much familiarity with one individual. And while hand-to-hand combat is useless against titans, it’s useful for other things. The Commander was not naïve to think that his Regiment wouldn’t one day be pitted against the Garrison or Military Police. There are demonstrations to also consider, and tensions are high in the Capital. Of the three, the Scouts and Military Police always stood at odds. Commander Pyxis was content to keep his Garrison Regiment as a neutral third party; opting to protect the walls the same no matter who they defended, rich or poor.

Teams got split off, starting from the right where most of the cadets are and spanning over to the left, where you were with the more experienced soldiers. Today you’d be surprised by who came sauntering up: Miche Zacharias, who’d been seeing your capabilities for himself little by little. “Aaltonen.” The towering man said. “You’re going to be with me today.”

You raised your eyebrows and nodded. Zacharias is easily the biggest bastard in the Regiment that you’ve seen. He easily dwarfed most people in size, especially your team captain. “Very good, sir.” You followed him. You haven’t fought Levi yet in these past weeks, but then, you figured he was avoiding it after certain past encounters. Miche had no such hang-ups. He was sniffing into your personal space as you moved aside with him for a spot that wasn’t occupied by other fighting pairs. You knew that he sniffs everybody and didn’t take it as strange anymore.

“You should know that I have no intention of going easy on you.” Miche stated plainly, stopping as you added up space between your bodies by a few more paces and turned to eye him mistrustfully. “Not unlike how you haven’t gone easy on those before me, Aaltonen.”

“Fine by me.” You said. “I never expected any favors.” He is experienced enough not to charge normally. He’s been watching how you respond to forward attacks, typically evading opponents larger than yourself and blocking those closer to your size. But he has a serious advantage. He is _much_ bigger, and his reach is long. So this time he does charge, and as anticipated you plan to drop your weight and skim through the gap in his legs. 

Miche doesn’t let it happen. He has very good control of his body for his size, dropping down at the same time, grasping you about the torso, and flipping you over his head onto your back in a feat of herculean strength. “OOF!!” The ground knocks the wind out of you and leaves you stunned for half a moment. He’s about to drive an elbow into your ribcage. You wake up from your daze, barely succeed in rolling to avoid him. Quickly flinging your full weight into your legs, you push your hands against the ground and kick forward onto your feet, then circle around him before he can get a hold.  


When dealing with any enemy, it’s best to simply not be there when they attack. Though against a big guy, getting inside of his reach means you can strike sensitive areas. It also means he can wrap his arms around you. You continue in avoiding him, watching for openings. Miche pushes his advantage and lunges, fully planning to catch you in the throat. You dart around, grab his elbow and wrap a leg around one of his, successfully pulling him to the ground by forcing his knee to buckle.  


He comes down heavily with you on his side, but as you move to get him in a hold he reverses the situation like lightning. You are instead maneuvered into the nastiest triangle-choke you’ve ever experienced. Miche had used his position to turn and pin an arm with a leg, and arm-barred over your throat. He uses your shoulder to help achieve this, grasping his own long forearm easily around your frame. You try to swing your free leg up, but the motion causes spots to erupt before your eyes as he shifts weight down into it. “Tap out." You hear him say close to your ear, and you have no choice. With his muscular arms wrangled tight about your neck and him using your own shoulder as a third point in the triangle, you couldn’t _think_ much less breathe. Fuck, the arm of that shoulder was up in the air, but at the angle he had you, it went numb.

You slap against his bicep, a fluttery tap-out that has him letting go. Sweet oxygen fills your lungs. Your head falls back on one of his thighs, and Miche is sitting up with his hands pressed behind him. “You’re not too bad.” He complimented gruffly, looking down. He didn’t seem to mind where your head was. “Been awhile since anyone knocked me down.”

“Haaah…” You gasped, finally mustering the will to sit up and rubbing your neck. “Knocking you down cost me that fight.”

He gave a slow, manly kind of sniff. “Yeah well, you still lasted longer than most.” He got up and offered a hand, which you begrudgingly accepted. This was the first fight you lost. No point in being sore over it, someone was bound to win sooner or later. Might as well be this huge-ass motherfucker. “Ready to go again?” He asked.

“Bitch, you _aren’t_ winning a second time.” You held your fists up and bounced in place like a boxer does, switching your feet up before settling and deciding to bring it to him this time. He lowered into stance and was fully prepared to meet you head on, but the second his shoulders came down _just_ enough, you pounced and were up on his shoulders in a move that honestly astounded the man. You wrapped your instep around your opposing calf, putting him in a choke hold right away as he had done to you, except with your lower body as opposed to how he used his massive upper strength.  
Miche’s response is to let himself fall backwards to jar you loose, grasping at your legs to pry them apart, but you clamped down with what might you have left. You anticipated this reaction and brace yourself, locking on tight and _not_ letting go. Your back stung, but you were hanging on to this bull for a full eight seconds if it killed you, hands now blocking any other attempts he might make to break the chokehold.

“Tap out.” You breathed. “C’mon Section Commander, tap the _fuck_ out.”

He did, as you’re dangerously close to fully crushing his windpipe.  
It should be said, incidentally, that a few pairs close by had to physically stop what they were doing long enough to watch you climb Zacharias like a tree. 

“Holy shit.” Connie muttered. “That was freaking _legendary.”_  
“Damn.” Thomas was his partner today. “I’ve never seen the Section Commander go down like that, but she won’t be able to make it happen again.”  
“Wanna bet?”  
“I couldn’t take your money.”

“Well that was fun.” Miche’s voice rasped sarcastically, sitting up again. You didn’t answer. Right now, you were realizing _how_ sore your legs are. Holding on to him was not easy, running extra hard earlier with Eren was now taking its toll. When you stood, your body was feeling like jelly. And Miche was recovering already, having not exerted himself as much as you did. His throat hurt, but he wasn’t too perturbed by that. 

“Round three.” He said, lowering into stance again. This time he planned on good old-fashioned fisticuffs. You knew he’d want to at some point, that’s part of this exercise. When Miche started punching, you had to begin dodging and lobbing fists back at him, though once you had no choice but to elbow block, and thought he was going to shatter your radius bone. “FUCK!!” You swore, skipping around him for some room and shaking your arm out. He pivoted and threw a solid haymaker followed up by a back uppercut, and you barely ducked the first but caught the second in the jaw.

It was a dizzying shot, like being hit by a sledgehammer. But you manage to stay on your feet while tasting blood in your mouth.  
Any punches thrown against him were hard, but _not_ hard enough. Miche’s body is so well trained, his muscles were like armor. It reminded you of when you kicked off Oluo’s stomach before and fought hand to hand with the guy days later. You’d never have the same kind of build, but for a female you’re solid as hell.  
You took that shot like a champ and came back for more with a vengeance, going for soft spots. The pain always wakes something feral inside you. Apparently this guy is _exactly the same_ in this regard. You had no plans of going easy, like he said he wouldn’t either. You put him in survival mode, and he you.  
Miche would manage to get you with a cross, but you drove your heel down onto his toes. He doesn’t let you follow up with a knee to the crotch; leaping backwards for and giving enough space to prevent from experiencing that kind of agony. You sneer with red teeth and turn to spit blood into the grass.  


Zacharias is also a lot more experienced in hand to hand, and when he decides to end this, it’s because he has slammed you in the gut. You’d be lucky not to have internal bleeding, but it wasn’t fully enough to stop you. You were fucking riled now, biting your teeth together so hard it stung and wheeling back towards him for another shot. Gut the bastard. Freaking MURDER HIM. You were both going to slug one another until…

…until somebody got in the way and pushed you both apart. “Oi! That’s enough, stop before you idiots kill one another!” 

Miche stepped back and you let gravity take you and slumped to the grass, one leg folded under the other as you held your stomach. You hung your head, panting. Levi knelt beside you and pulled your head back. “Look at me.” He commanded quietly, watching your pupils. You faced up into his greyish eyes, a hint unfocused but mostly able to see straight. He hadn’t seen the whole fight; he was supervising the cadets. For what he knew, you could have a concussion.

“I’m fine.” You said, reaching to gingerly touch your bruised jaw. “I’ve had worse.”  
“I need you in one fucking piece.”

You wanted to say, _’Yeah? Which piece would you like to fuck?’_ But successfully kept your pained trap shut. Levi was genuinely agitated with you. At your awkward silence he stood and turned to Miche. “Going to be alright?” He asked the taller man, who nodded once solemnly. “Got carried away is all.” He did more damage to you than you did to him. Mounting his shoulders and choking him was no fluke, but Thomas was right; it’s never going to happen again. You have him bruises and one or two cuts, that was the extent. He’s Section Commander rank for a reason, the man knows his business.

When Miche walked away to take over Levi’s job of checking on the others, Ackerman knelt down next to you again and fit shockingly tender fingers under your jawline, turning your head to have a better look at the visible bruise. He clicked his tongue when you turned your head and spit blood into the grass a second time.

“Tch…disgusting.”  
“What? Want me to swallow it?”  
_’Yes.’_ He involuntarily thought. “I _want_ to know if you’re dizzy.”  
“I’m fine. I can handle target practice.” You stood up without his help, which he didn’t offer anyway. “And don’t spit. It’s a filthy habit.” You narrowed your eyes. _’Fine, give me that silly ass cravat and I can have a napkin.’_ “What the hell, I’ll swallow my blood from now on. I can always use the iron.”  
“…” He was not liking your sass today. He caught the faint sway in your motions from sitting to standing. “Keep that mouthy shit up and you’re on bathroom detail. You’re excused from target practice, Aaltonen. Go to medical and get checked for a concussion.”

You couldn’t remember if you got hit in the head specifically, apart from your jaw. Perhaps he was right to be concerned. “Yessir.” You saluted halfheartedly and strode off, ignoring the weakness in every damn leg muscle you possessed. You wanted to wrap them around Levi’s neck too just now, but in a different way. Hey…doing it to Miche could’ve been more fun if it wasn’t for the audience. But others have done worse to their sparring partners. They know to expect that these things can happen.

Medical had a few other patients in waiting. You checked in and sat down against the wall, closing your eyes, and hoping that nobody saw fit to violate you again. 

If so, you wouldn’t be the only one with a possible concussion.


	13. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something had to give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: *cracks knuckles* …it is time.
> 
> Any gun enthusiasts out there, sorry if I botched the first part. And uh, the last part too.  
BTW, I don’t know what y’all think, but I would totally hang with Miche. He seems like he’d be a good drinking buddy and if I happened to wake up next to him, I wouldn’t be too mad. (Tbh I'd be like: "x3 YEAAAH I did." )
> 
> VOTING IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED. Thank you all for participating. Right before posting I double checked the numbers and here’s what came back---
> 
> Levi: 18  
Erwin: 19  
Both: 4
> 
> **Erwin Smith will be the final pairing**…BY ONE VOTE! I honestly could not have called that, I was astounded at how fast he caught up. 
> 
> **Now here’s what that means going forward**…there IS going to be a temporary love triangle situation. You may have noticed it has been added to the tags, along with something after it, take that for what you will. So those who voted for Levi, you’re still getting somethin’-somethin’. <3 Cuz I hearts you guys and him. But I also heart Erwin.  
I had so many thoughts for how the story could progress with either one and I know I said if I could vote, my preference would be Levi, but I am very happy either way so YAAAY!
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you who voted, let your thoughts be know, who reads, comments in general, bookmarks and of course kudos. You guys are amazing and I hope you are keeping safe and healthy in this crazy ass world we live in!!

Breaking Point

Medical winds up taking longer than you anticipated, and you were feeling a bit antsy during the wait.  


Unfortunately, the room you’d be taken into is the same as before—_fortunately_, they seemed to have removed the stirrup attachments from the exam table. If those had remained, they would have undoubtedly become the focus of your court martial hearing. That doctor would _not_ walk out alive if he found another reason for you to brace your heels in them.

Turns out that yes, you do have a very mild concussion and some bad bruising coupled with a hematoma on your belly, which the physician claimed would reabsorb into your body. Your jaw wasn’t fractured, but the man reckoned it was a close call. You would be allowed back out but by then, target practice moved from ODMG to the shooting range. It has been determined that while guns are not frequently used, the Scouts still need to practice how not to misfire into another human being’s head. 

Unless, y’know, you meant to.

Therefore, you trekked back down and to the rifle range to report back with Captain Levi, who was relieved more than you thought he’d be. “Good. Like I said, I need you in one piece. I can’t afford to have any more of my squad on light duty.”

“As you say, sir.”  
“We’re down here for another half hour. Grab a rifle and get to it.” 

You would do as told. While guns aren’t a thing you made frequent use out of, you were familiar with them and generally knew what goes into making one; having put together and also refurbished a few yourself in Vanaheim. The one you were holding now is a very standard issue no-frills type of rifle favored for its general reliability and efficiency. Upon taking your place end of the firing line, you watch targets full of holes get switched out.  
Rings on each one are labeled one through nine, with ten being the bullseye. They are very simple and utilitarian targets, cheap to make out of paper and ink at a printing press. Yours is untouched, but once they have all been replaced and no one is out front, you take aim. Rifle range etiquette is simple and common sense. It took Levi two minutes to explain the whole deal to you last week.

“RANGE IS LIVE!” 

Your finger taps upon the trigger like taught. Don’t pull it, squeeze it. A hole appeared in the seventh ring, a bullet casing drops with a hollow ‘clink’. Reloading, you aim a bit more carefully. ‘BANG’. It hits top left of the eight ring this time. Clink, reload. BANG. This one is top left again, but a bit closer to the nine line. 

“You’re actually not bad at this.” A familiar baritone entered your ears and you glance over to your left. Miche Zacharias was in the line next to you. How you didn’t notice Man Mountain there, you had no clue. “Meh, I’m alright.” Click, BANG! A hole appears barely inside the nine. He sniffs, taking a minute to point and fire. A spot opens dead center in his target. His are grouped tight together, with a handful of strays along 7, 8 and 9 to the top right. 

“Guns don’t matter as much for our Regiment. Commander Erwin put this into play not long ago.”

“Any special reason? Kill your dinner in the field or something?” Click, aim. Fire. “Fuck.” It hit on an outer ring. You narrow your focus on the reload, trying not to let Miche become a distraction. If you’re ever in a live fire situation, you’d be screwed if what it took to throw your game off is a person merely talking to you. 

He snuffles through his sinuses, automatically pulling another round off into the bullseye. “The Military Police have been pushing on us for awhile now. I’d guess it has to do with that.” 

“CEASE FIRE!” 

“Here.” He holds out a few spare targets. You take one and put the others under your ammunition box. “Thank you, Section Commander.” You’ve put your rifle down and head across, making sure not to roll any of the casings underfoot. They have to get picked back up when it’s said and done, and you’d prefer not to kick them around and lose some. “No hard feelings about earlier, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He agreed calmly, putting his new target up after removing the old one. “Shit happens. I’m guessing you’re fine?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”  
“Hm.” 

“RANGE IS LIVE!”

You can’t tell if this makes him feel better or not. Some people like to hear about the damages after a good throwdown. Others don’t care. You figured he’s the latter, Miche seems like a very relaxed (if serious) kind of guy. While waiting your turn at medical, you mused on who around here might be a good drinking buddy if the opportunity should arise. Being so large and generally chill, Miche probably knows how to hang. Drinking rotgut was the favorite pastime in Vanaheim, with what passed for the local pub being crammed with assholes that you wanted nothing to do with. 

Occasionally it’d been a fair way to kill some hours. Whenever you were injured and there was no syrup to be had, you’d get blind drunk in town and forget you were in pain. The bottle of moonshine you took with you was empty during your first two months since you rationed it. It was sorely missed.

Click, BANG, clink. Bullseye. 

“Nice shot.” Miche complimented evenly. You nodded once, ears ringing a bit. “Much appreciated.”

He finds it refreshing that a female accepts a compliment and doesn’t choose to immediately assign herself a negative attribute or deflect to a positive remark on his skill. You took his words for what they were. Miche _knows_ he’s good. He doesn’t need another person’s approval to tell him this. But being in a position of authority, he is accustomed to providing feedback.

Small talk was had back and forth, but eventually Miche hit his limit for that. You were comfortable with his silence once it fell, opting instead to take this opportunity to fine tune your grouping on the target. 

“CEASE FIRE!”

A fast swap out, and you return with your target full of holes to find Captain Levi watching you come back. He sticks his hand out for the paper bullseye and you give it over. As he examines it, you are taking place in the firing line and reloading. “Not terrible.” He remarks callously, putting it beside your others. “Focus on your grouping. No one wants to get into a spray and pray situation in a fire fight.”

“Yes sir.” 

“RANGE IS LIVE!” 

It isn’t until you are shooting again that it becomes clear Levi is taking up residence on your right side in the line, with a rifle and ammunition of his own. When he fires, he strikes center. Every. Fucking. TIME.

EVERY fucking time. Not 100% in the middle ring, but grouped nice and neat in and around it into the nine line.

“I didn’t take you for a marksman.” You comment, able to see his target from here. Aiming carefully, you squeeze the trigger. It hits between ten and nine, right on the rim of a bullseye. Levi has eyes only for his target, but this doesn’t mean he didn’t hear you. “I don’t like guns, but I know how to use one.”

“That’s beyond knowing how, you’re fucking talented.”

He doesn’t answer to that very matter-of-fact compliment. Levi learned how to use guns In the Underground but preferred blades over bullets any day. Nonetheless, the corner of his mouth does twitch upwards into the thinnest of smirks. Rarely he can let himself soak in some appreciation when it’s from the correct source. Fans on the street, embarrassing. You? Yes, please. He discovered that he likes hearing such things from that pretty mouth. 

Shooting practice ends and everybody is gathering their casings, placing them in their corresponding empty ammo boxes. Being that they aren’t aluminum it’s better to re-use them. But it is after when Levi is putting his own in the rack that he notices you are turning your weapon over strangely, examining it.  


“What?”

“Thinking that no machine is one hundred percent efficient and wondering what it’d take to create one. Though I’m aware it can never happen.” If he does or doesn't comprehend this, you have no clue as he doesn't indicate either way. You racked the empty gun up and turned away, looking blankly at Levi for further instruction, unsure of what he had planned next. Ackerman motions with his head for you to follow, which you do. Turns out he was heading to the mess hall for a tea break. Levi’s mood always re-calibrates from whatever it’d been when he is able to absorb some caffeine. 

Though inside the mess hall it’s a little busier for a free hour to decompress, you shortly find yourself following Levi back to his office bearing tea on a tray. He actually took the chance to show you how he prefers it being made. You commit this to memory, since it appears to be important to him that the entire Special Ops team knows how to make black tea to his specifications. You are placing it down on his desk and pouring some for him and then yourself before sitting down. 

Captain Levi’s office is predictably neater than a pin. You note not a one fleck of dust has settled, and if one ever had it would meet a swift demise. His desk is similarly tidy though with three stacks of paperwork in graduating heights, and very few personal items. Levi accepts his tea and watches you from his typical overhand grasp as he drinks. You have taken a sip yourself. “Why did you want me to come here?”

“I need to talk to you about Hange.” He said after swallowing, putting his cup down carefully. 

“What about her?”

“She’s asked me twice now to think about transferring you from Special Operations to Research and Development.” Levi says this in a bored drawl, knowing the whole subject is pointless. “Did she mention that to you?”

“No. If she had, I might’ve said.” You confessed, picking your cup up again. “May I speak freely?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think I’d handle it well if I had to work closely to her. She interferes with my thought process too frequently and it makes me want to put a boot on her throat.” There was a noise through his nose that sounded an awful lot like a tiny laugh, but Levi was keeping professional. “Be careful who you say shit like that to.”

“I don’t care if she’s a superior sir, I’m better off dealing with her in small doses. Commander Erwin instructed me to indulge one of her requests as soon as she retrieves what’s needed for an experiment. I’m fine with helping her, but not at the price of causing problems because we disagree with one another.”

“Yeah. Erwin warned me that she wants to use a thing she found in your journal to see if it’ll cut through a pair of titans.” There was a peculiar glint in his eye. “The Survey Corps will employ whatever we deem fit to win this fight. If that means developing new tactics, I’m all for it. But I’m also told by Commander Erwin that you’ve indicated this may not be completely safe. Why might that be?”

“Section Commander Hange doesn’t…” You pause, uncertain how best to word this. Levi watches dead on, calm as always. “She does not understand what she’s looking at as a biologist. I have no doubt she’s intelligent enough to eventually grasp an understanding of what I do, but as of now she’s more likely to endanger herself and others. I don’t want to be the reason she decides to put something together that could ultimately kill more people than it saves.”

“And this is what she wants to attempt?”

“No. This particular thing she wants access to is a mixture known as ‘thermite’, of which I’ll spare boring you with the details. What _you_ need to know about it is when lit, it’ll fizzle straight through a stack of plate metal. She believes it could be beneficial against the Armored Titan in the correct application. Even perhaps the Female, with that crystal substance she produces.”

That definitely interests him. Levi’s eyes don’t leave yours as he drinks. “Do you believe that it would, Aaltonen?”

“I have no fucking clue, sir. Unless I’m able to analyze samples, there’s no way to be sure what’ll work on either Titan Shifter. I haven’t seen this Female Titan to begin with.” You see the way he is watching you. There is a predatory flicker, gradually solidifying into a sheen in his eyes that is impossible to ignore or forget. “We have machinery that allows us to move in three dimensions. This means we must also think in three dimensions, sir.”

“If you’re getting at something, spit it out.”

“From what I understand, this Female Titan got free of the restraint cannons by calling other titans. She therefore knows to anticipate their use again.” You sink your stare into his, tea forgotten. “Commander Erwin remarked that we have some kind of irresistible bait. So…use it to pull her in. Ultimately a Shifter has a very human mind. She cannot fully compensate for what she does not expect. Especially if it happens too fast for her to register.” Levi lowers his cup, eyes searching yours as he put pieces together.

Was he hearing what he thought he was hearing?

“I see you’ve caught on.” You say, not hardly blinking. “Let’s see how fast the rumor mill in this close-walled country works, shall we?”

_Later, Scout HQ, Commander’s Office…_

“Interesting strategy.” 

Following his conversation with you, Levi went right to Erwin’s office and sent you to get some cleaning done so he’d know where to find you if they chose to bring you in. The blond is staring thoughtfully at Ackerman. “What are the projected casualties?”

“She claims that if we are able to lure the Female using Eren, providing it’s not done in a conspicuous manner this can go down anywhere we need. That means we could have a section of Stohess evacuated.”

“This Shifter will know what’s happening once she sees the streets are empty.”

“Not if it happens during an event. That would account for some streets being too quiet if the majority of the civilians are drawn away by some kind of attraction.”

“…such as the demonstration next week. It would require everyone we have.” Erwin concluded, his countenance starting on a frown. “However, this interferes with us isolating the 104th Cadets who we believe could be accomplices. And Special Ops must be seen leaving without Eren, that would become suspicious. Getting your team back into Stohess unseen shouldn’t be as much of a problem. The amount of moving parts is what concerns me.”

Levi nodded. “Told me afterwards that it’s rough as hell and probably not the best plan. I believe it’s also on the right track. We can’t keep using the same shit on this titan and expecting different results.” He was considering this strategy you suggested since you explained more over tea. Ackerman knows you are limited in your knowledge of the surrounding districts, hell, you were barely in Trost for a few _hours_. But there was a solidity to your logic.

The Commander eyed Levi coolly, moving things around in his head. “Certainly doesn’t help that we have a deadline if we’re to do this during the Demonstrations.” Erwin got up and went to his windows with his hands folded behind his back, looking down into the green. “That being said—” He broke off.

Down below he saw three figures, with one running away. The figure tripped then clambered back up, high tailing it away again. 

What in the world was going on down there? “With me.” He turned on his heel, striding to the hall. Levi got up and followed curiously. “What did you see?”

“I don’t know for sure.” 

Outside, you were kneeling down and tying rope to a counterweight at each end, with Armin assisting. “There. Let’s see if the added weight is sufficient.” The blond nodded eagerly and stood. “Alright Eren! When she begins winding up, start running again and don’t look back!” He called, funneling his hands to his mouth. Eren gulped, nodding. He turned to run while you held a short rope with one end out from your body, spinning it as fast as you could. This was the fifth time. Armin went back to collecting what stones he could find of equal size in case more weight needed to be added to the bags. 

“Go Eren!” You shouted, and as the Shifter bolted away, you let the roped weights fly. They tangled around his legs and tripped him hard to the ground. “OOWW!! DAMN IT THAT HURT!” He yowled. 

“Did you at least not bite your tongue this time, _Oluo_?” You taunted, cupping your hands to amplify your shout before jogging over to help disentangle him, Armin following suit with a burlap bag full of what loose stones he could find. “Frick, I can’t get—uh. Shit.” His bright greens lanced past your shoulder and you turned to see Levi and Erwin, who had seen the entire exercise from the path. “You shitty little brats, what the hell are you doing out here? I told you to—”

“Proof of concept, sir!” You exclaimed, cutting him off. “A titan can’t go anywhere if it can’t use its limbs.” You pointed. “And you can’t say I’m not doing my job of watching Eren. I watched him run right up until I knocked him on his face. I chose our young Mr. Yeager for this because I know if that face of his gets scraped off, it’ll grow back again. Acceptable risk. Sir.” 

“It isn’t up to you to decide what risks are acceptable or not when it comes to Eren.” Levi glowered. You lifted a shoulder apathetically. “Then I shall willingly accept punishment for my actions, Captain. But if this works, it could well be what’s needed to handle those freaks. You _have_ to be able to see that.”

“’Are you alright, Eren’? ‘Is anything broken, Eren?’ Yeah guys I’m fine, _no problem~”_ The Shifter was muttering as Armin helped him disentangle. You accepted your rudimentary weapon back and held it up. “Look. It’s pathetic seeming in this form, sure. But imagine much bigger cannon balls attached by a heavy gauge chain fired from a larger cannon. A set of bolas can be made any size you need with up to three counterweights, and they’d be pretty damn hard to miss with on a linear street. If that 14-meter tall bitch doesn’t know to see them coming, it’ll be too late for her. And by then this squad of yours would be _all_ over her, Captain.” You began spinning them again, swishing it in a figure eight. “Hey titan boy! Get that ass moving, I want to test these some more.”

“Erh! Uh, okay.” He was done dusting his clothing off anyway and set off at a run. You smirked and spun the counterweights faster before letting them sail as Eren turned from his straight path, catching him higher up around his knees this time. “UWAAAH!” Faceplant.

“Lights OUT, bitch!” You snarled with a balled fist and a vindictive expression that left Levi kind of blinking, but only for the split second it took to collect his composure. Erwin was standing with a hand to his jaw in thought, completely ignoring your sick enthusiasm but continuing to watch the boy struggle with his legs wrapped. “Shit, I mean…EREN! Are you okay?” You chased after Armin, who was laughing at his friend’s expression. Eren can heal even if he did get badly injured, but the proof of concept rope bola wasn’t very heavy. It had only as much weight as it needed to fly and wrap around his legs or torso, making it impossible for him to run. 

_’Now there is an idea.’_ Erwin thought. He found this to be such a stroke of brilliance that he could kiss you right now. But naturally, he’s restraining himself. “Levi, I would like you to provide Ms. Aaltonen with her journal and whatever materials she requests. Have her and Cadet Arlert work in the library for the remainder of this afternoon. I want to see what more can come of this.” He turned, hand dropping from his chin. “I will check into some things and gather Miche and Hange. Meet at my office in a half hour. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir.” Levi answered grimly, and they set off in opposite directions. “Oy!” He shouted, approaching. You tried not to grimace. _’Fuck. Here we go.’_ You turned to Levi as he drew to stop and acknowledged him with a fist to your heart. “Sir! I take full responsibility for our actions here, including for these two cadets. They acted on my request.”

“At ease.” Levi’s face was unreadable. He was pleased that you were willing to own up for not only disobeying orders but causing Armin and Eren to do the same. Instead of coming down on you like a ton of bricks the Captain waved it off. “That won’t be necessary. You two come with me. Yeager, I believe that you still have cleaning to do.”

“Sir yes sir!” Eren exclaimed and turned to hurry off with a glance that plainly said ‘sorry!’ to Armin and yourself. You watched him go. Armin was guardedly optimistic as Levi led the way back inside. “If you’re both worried about disciplinary action, don’t be. It seems you’re intended to continue working on this pet project to see what more you can come up with.” He said calmly. You thought you detected some heat embedded within his tone. Levi couldn’t be too pleased right now--little did you know, that's not quite the mood he's in. 

Then he said what you both fairly anticipated he would.  
“Now listen up, brats. The next time you want to pull a stunt like that, you need to come to me. It’s not up to you to decide what is safe and what is not.”

This, you decided, is hardly the opportunity to tell him that you never thought it was safe. Eren willingly went into it knowing he might get hurt badly. But so what? It’s nothing worse than what Hange’s done. That’s your story and you’re sticking to it.

Instead, “Yes, sir.”  
“Yes sir.” Armin agreed.  


“Good. No more of this ‘taking shit into your own hands’ business.” The Captain grunted, leading ahead towards the library, which has doubled recently as a map room for ease of use where the reference materials are. From the look on his face, Armin thought he died and went to heaven. There are books everywhere. Every-_freaking_-where. His eyes widened as big as they could go. You edge away from him.  


“Don’t cream yourself, kid.” You mutter. Armin doesn’t hear as he gazes about. Levi manages not to smirk. “Arlert, you stay here. Read or something. We’ll be back.” Levi motions for you to follow him and you do so, letting the heavy wooden door close behind. 

No sooner are you halfway down the hall does Levi grab your harness and shove your back to wall, startling the hell out of you. What you see in his expression is so raw and primal it’s fucking appalling.  


“Yes, Captain? May I help you?” You manage to quip innocently, as though he wasn’t partially suspending you from the floor by your straps. You can feel leather biting through your clothes. There is a twitch below his eye at your cheekiness. 

“We are not going on any missions together until we deal with this problem of ours once and for all.” His voice is oddly soft. _Deadly_, even. Nobody else could potentially overhear. You think you must have gone pale or given a submissive tell on accident, because the predatory sense about him deepens and develops a smug air.  


He does not like what you do to him, he hates even more what he thinks about doing _to_ you. When you reappeared in their lives weeks ago, his mind conjured up a hell of entangled limbs and his name on your tongue before replacing it with something else entirely. He dreams of doing filthy things and wakes to clean up the aftermath, hating himself _and_ you for turning him into a disgusting, guttural mess.  
The man had his needs kept wrapped up nice and neat back of his head, and now they bubbled to the foreground of his mind with your presence. He needed you out of his system before you clouded his judgement when lives were on the line. One night would hopefully cure his itch, and life could resume its normal and less infuriating rhythm.

“Aren’t you concerned what people will think?” You think to ask, rattled at his forwardness. He has never taken a run at you like this before. By all accounts, Levi would never do such a thing. But now there is going to be a big mission coming up. _Soon_. He wasn’t trying to wait that long. “They will _never_ fucking know, Aaltonen. Understood?”

“Ashamed? That’s fine. I’ll keep your dirty little secret, Captain Levi.”

Oh Walls, he loathed your nonsense right now. His fingers nonetheless unknot from your harness. You feel your heels touch the floor. He has been holding you up by a half inch without his arms giving in. How strong is this man, anyway? 

Ackerman strides away, feeling at least that he has asserted his expectations. You understand that he needed to get that off his chest before his brain exploded; hell, you’ve had some poisonous thoughts of your own threatening to escape. Your impression of Levi is that he has always been high strung, you know he has a world of trouble on his shoulders. For whatever reason, you were _one_ of those troubles.  
There were so many things you wanted to snap back at him in certain moments and yet you never had. The tension never really left. It returned with a vengeance when you saw each other again and you knew he was right. You can’t go out there on the same team, expected to be functional when you can’t stop focusing on _that_ tight ass in _that_ harness. Mm-mmm. 

Nope. Can’t happen. That’s how pretty little Scouts get eaten alive.

“Hange?” Levi calls as he shoves through the doors of R&D, eyes flickering around for the noisy scientist. 

The place is empty of human and titan. Perhaps they’re out back. He doesn’t care. “Where’s this journal of yours, do you see it?” He asks, now sounding much more normal. You in contrast don’t feel the same after hearing his demand and use this opportunity to search, needing to be away from this oppressive aura of his to breathe. It’s been awhile for you too, but damn, he did _not_ like that he likes you. Or if he did, this was his shitty way of showing it. Levi is terrible with emotions regarding other human beings. One might not fail to notice this by how he addresses others. “Here.” You triumphantly latch fingers on to the spine of your journal.  


“Good. Now grab whatever else you need and we’re going back to the library. I have a meeting soon.”

“What about Armin?”

"Don't concern yourself with that brat right now. Hurry up."

Levi is casually lingering in the doorframe, waiting for you to pick up what else you’d require. You collect a wooden ruler, a few pencils, one of the small knives meant for sharpening. It’s hard to ignore what his posture says in your periphery. A story from over dinner where you heard about Eren getting his face kicked in during a trial plunges to the fore of your mind when Levi crosses one boot over the other as he watches.

You continue to act as though nothing is bothering you and grab some scrap paper as well, in case Armin needed it. He was evidently in this thing with you now. Might as well make it easier on the kid, too. You are the reason he’s involved anyhow. 

Approaching the door now, Levi manages to catch how you pull the once-over across his body. Why is it hot that he’s wearing those boots right now? Everybody in the building wears them every day, yet you’re stuck envisioning what it looked like when this guy is stepping on a teenager’s throat. It was twisted, but that was a show put on to get Eren in the Scout’s custody. A bit of theater that this guy pulled off seamlessly with Erwin on the sidelines, waiting for the performance to end in order to swoop down and capture their prey. 

Holy hell, they’re probably more terrifying than you’ve given either man credit for. You push it from your thoughts as you trot along beside Levi with your arms full of supplies. He’d speed you along to the library, open the door, and nod you in. “You two are to remain here for now. One of us will get you both later. Commander Erwin wants work done on this project for the meantime.”

“Yes sir.” You both chorus. Levi disappears into the corridor, and you close the door behind him. Armin eyes your form where you linger in place, arms burdened and gaze staring ahead thoughtfully while slowly revolving on the spot to face back in towards the room. “Are you okay, Haz?” His voice is gentle and unassuming in its inquiry. You stir and smile a little for the kid. “I’m fine. Simply thinking about repercussions.”

Armin approaches and meekly takes the ruler, scrap paper and pencils from you. At the angle you have it jutting out, he dared not touch that small knife. “It doesn’t look like that’s what is bothering you.” He says. “Somebody’s upset you.”

This causes your gaze to sharpen on his face. He blushes and turns his head away. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“I’m upset at myself. Things got out of hand and—” You clench your jaw, realizing whose company you’re in. Armin is a teenager. He has puberty and shit to deal with on top of the titans being a prime threat to the survival of humanity, but this kid is sharp. He catches and memorizes things. You know you need to be cautious what you say and how you say it. 

You are also aware, by now, that this conversation will nag at him unless you offer a piece of bait. “—I regret not coming here with you guys the first time.” You let it out of your lungs like a burst of steam. His baby blues soften. “We were really worried about you, Haz. Everybody knew what you’d be going back to. Including yourself. Why did you do it anyway?”

“I needed to see for myself. I had to know for sure that home was gone, or I’d never be able to let things be.” You confide. This will throw him off your scent. You don’t need Arlert’s keen little brain drawing conclusions regarding yourself and Levi. “My parents are buried there, and a guy who I thought of as my uncle too. My first _everything_…right in that town. Now it’s ashes.” You cross to the large polished table and place your journal upon it and the pencil knife besides. 

“But why didn’t you return to the Wall?” He asked, watching you move a chair to sit. “I know what it’s like to lose your hometown. Why would you put yourself through almost six months of solitude and scraping to get by?”

You allow your shoulders to slump. “Because I genuinely thought I could carve a living out of this land on my own. Turns out I could barely make ends meet from week to week. I grew too dependent on others, but I’m alive. That’s what matters to me.”

“I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t want help.” He persisted. It’s clear this teen has been yearning for an understanding of this mess you were in. He’s a big old bookworm and you have a story. Which you have currently decided he would never get to know the entirety of, because you were already sick of turning it over and over like a worry stone in your mind. 

“For fuck’s sake Armin if I went to the Wall, who would know me? I didn’t know where you guys would be staying, I definitely didn’t trust whoever would be there to convey a message.”

Trust issues. This is a thing that Armin understood well since he became part of the military. Nearly everybody here has them. He merely nods, apparently satisfied with the response he’s been given. There are many details missing, but he does not probe further. You open your book and begin working on a chained bolas schematic. 

About forty-five minutes in, you’re tapping your blunted pencil and humming pensively. “Hm. This is genuinely a problem.”

“Which part?”

“If this is to be geared towards a 14-meter titan, the bola should be scaled in size and weight. But there won’t be a cannon large enough to fire it.” You continued to tap. 

Armin listens and absorbs. He has been reading nonstop pertaining to things you mention, consciously growing a knowledge base. He is currently sitting with his fingers in the binding of a book on Metallurgy. Right as he begins to read again, it hits him. “Wait, there actually might be!”

“Might be what, a cannon?”

“Mhm, a bunch of them! The cannons on our Walls aren’t original, they were made to replace a much larger and heavier model that was very difficult to slide on the rails. Industry City made them about 40% smaller.”

“Forty percent.” You echo. “That’s a significant percentage, was it pocket sized when they were done?”

“No, that’s the thing. The original cannons were _intended_ to be very large because the titans are massive. But when they came out with a smaller version that’s easier to load which also proved effective, they decided to dissemble and remove the large bore cannons.”

“I would need to see one of these cannons.” You inform Armin flatly. “Eren’s titan is one meter larger than the Female, yeah? If this works on him, it doesn’t beggar belief that it’ll also work on her. Size wise, I mean.”

Armin is fast to agree. Beyond that, his feedback quickly reached its maximum usefulness once you determined that designs could continue no further until input came in from the top brass. Who are currently meeting together. Opting not to fidget too much with the journal, you shoved it aside and took the Metallurgy book back down that Armin was perusing a bit ago, paging through. Arlert meanwhile picks up the journal. That thing will never be private again, but you also don’t put the most intimate thoughts inside. There may be drawings, schematics, thoughts, musings, formulas, but they’re perfectly safe for outsiders to see.

As you read, he flips through and stops, seeing pictures delineated of—was that Eren, and Mikasa? Yes, beside each of their heads in your very linear writing was a name. ‘Eren’. ‘Mikasa’. They are sitting cross-legged across from each other having a conversation. Mikasa has her arms up, adjusting her scarf. Eren is grinning at her.  
Intrigued, Armin turns the page. Here are Jean, Reiner and Bertolt, not very complete though. Their legs fade down into a gradient, but they were chilling in a wooden cart, seeming to chatter. There was a caged turkey and a bunch of bags in the cart. 

Petra, standing atop the corner of the roof in full gear with her hair blowing in the wind, a hand tucking some behind her ear. Next is Oluo talking to Eld, who had his leg up. Then a full page where Levi is reclined in a wooden slat chair that Armin remembered seeing in your kitchen, holding a teacup in his usual manner.  
He notes that Levi in this image doesn’t carry the same bored cynicism normally present in his expression. His eyes are softer and relaxed. There is a corner where you drew his eyes in great detail. Armin realized you must’ve been close enough in order to know how sketch the striations and flecks in his irises; how the light caught against Levi’s pupils, bringing them to life upon the page. This was the one time he didn’t feel like his soul was transparent when looking back.

Erwin, sitting at the island with when you made breakfast one morning. He seems playful or amused, a faint smile started upon his lips and head tilted inquisitively with one eyebrow slightly cocked. His underlying intensity is still perfectly captured. You took the time to draw his eyes to the side, too, shaded gorgeously. 

Miche talking with Moblit and Hange, with Hange giggling, her hand on Moblit’s head. Armin loves how animated they are. Moblit isn’t worried here as he interacts with Hange. Miche is smirking, and he’s more stubbly than usual with one brawny arm over the back of his chair, a drinking cup hanging at his fingertips.

Snippets of others, like little tableaus of life on the farm while they were there. Armin saw himself in a drawing of the cadets sitting together in a ring around a brazier. He remembered it perfectly. You must’ve passed by them twice while they sat. He began to understand what kind of memory you must have from that recollection. You didn’t have opportunity enough to sit and stare, absorbing details. 

A whole page where one half is night, and the second half is day. At night, he sees the view from under your tent flap as the Survey Corps has pitched camp. On the day half, it’s a view over your shoulder of the whole Corps riding to the gap of Shiganshina, a few hands raised in the viewer’s direction. 

There is a sketch of two primitive graves, with your family name barely readable scratched in weathered stone. Other faces probably from the town, some drinking and laughing. A couple in ODMG, perched along the church steeple with the sun as a huge orb behind them. Another, where the two preteens you were training waved as they walked down a road into a light, hand in hand. Armin put a hand over his mouth when he caught the meaning.

A house in disrepair. A picture of Vanaheim, illuminated in the dark by beams of light striking the heavens.

Then on the opposite side, an image of a woman he recognizes as Redwood. She is laid to rest with her hands folded upon her stomach, a recurve bow beneath her palms with three flowers. He thinks they are lavender. Lavender blooms represent peace.

Redwood seems very peaceful indeed, almost represented as a forest goddess with her long wavy hair spread out upon the leaves. _’Claire ‘Redwood’ Jones. Rest in peace, beautiful soul.’_

He felt moisture prickling along his lash lines. You drew everything so you wouldn’t forget, Armin now knew. A hot sob croaked out his mouth and he tried covering it again, turning his face away so his tears wouldn’t drop on the pages. You have meanwhile been sitting with your back to him and legs over the arm of your chair, attempting to be comfortable as you shifted around. But upon hearing his sniffle you turn your head. “Armin? Are you…what the hell happened?!”

“No. N-no, I’m fine. I’m fine.” You stiffen, seeing the page he held open. The teen looks back at you with glassy eyes and gets out of his chair, coming over and awkwardly flinging his slim arms around your shoulders. You sit unyieldingly straight, unsure of how to react but to place a hand on his back. 

“Armin?”

“You didn’t…you g-gave up so much…for us. You never asked for anything. Haz, you gave so much. You gave _so_ much~” He sniffled. “So, so much. Wh-why, why didn’t I realize how much it was?” He gave a shuddering sniff. You twist in your seat and place both arms around him, letting him cry. “Shh--Armin. Armin, look at me, please.” You take his head in your hands, schooling your expression in what you hoped was one of calm. “Armin, you can’t see it like that, kiddo. It’s fine. Come here.” He has instead sunk to the floor, hiccupping. You sit down with him and let him lean against your shoulder, tears turning the tan of your jacket dark khaki. “It’s fine. That’s in the past. It’s fine, kiddo.” You didn’t know what else to say. He can’t be crying for your sake, but perhaps…maybe a fit of teen angst, you didn’t know.

You haven’t heard the door behind you, so perfectly balanced on its hinges. The top brass had instead come to you guys, and they were peeping through the door. Erwin closed it, making certain not to create a noise. Levi shook his head slowly. “Tch, left her alone with that brat for how long; and she managed to break him.” 

“I really doubt that’s what happened here, Levi.” Miche voiced. Hange lowered her eyes. “Armin’s very sensitive. I wonder if he saw?” She mused and nodded once, lowering her hand from her chin. “Yeah, that’s probably it. He must have seen.”

“Seen what?”

“When we were going over Haz’s journal, well, it’s quite voluminous you see—”

“Skip to the point, Four Eyes.”

“She drew pictures. We’re all in there. Take a look for yourself.” Hange huffed at him, crossing her arms. “Quite an accomplished sketch artist, actually. I imagine she’d need to have done something during her isolation to keep from going mad. The level of detail is astounding if I do say so myself. I think Hazard has what’s known as an eidetic memory, or something like it.”

They exchange looks and Levi turns, pushing the door smoothly open. Armin is laying with his head on your shoulder and your hand on his back. He is facing the door and his bloodshot eyes shoot wide when Levi strides in, not even sparing a glance before picking up your journal. His grey eyes fall upon the image of Redwood in memorium, and his gaze dulls. He turns slowly, walking back to the hall, boots thudding on wooden flooring. Erwin comes in after and leans against the edge of the desk. “Mr. Arlert, you are excused from duty for the remainder of the day. Please use it wisely.” 

You look down at Armin as he straightens up, wiping his face. Erwin notes that your shoulder is quite tearstained. “Please forgive me, sir. Thank you, sir.” He gets up and retreats, saying nothing more while he has a shred of dignity intact. You sigh and heft up off the floor, brushing your pants off. “Well that was freaking awkward, I’m not going to lie. Sweet kid though.” 

He cried more about it than you did. Which is to say, ‘not at all’.

Mourning wasn’t an option, not to the point where your senses were dead from heartbreak. Your mourning took the form of sketches. Crying never came easily to you. Erwin, you note, is quietly evaluating you from where he is leaned against the table, hands back upon the edge on either side of his body. 

“Care to explain, Ms. Aaltonen?”

You threw your hands up before pulling your jacket down at the bottom. “I finished what I could of the schematic, we talked for a while, then we were waiting. I started researching some information on alloys, next thing I know he’s sobbing. I swear I said nothing to upset him, sir.”

“I believe you.” Erwin’s response is calm and regulated as usual. He continues to watch you, but turns his face away for a moment, watching Levi, Miche and Hange cluster around the book. You shake your head, averting to stare at a teardrop from before as it created a whitish spot in the stain of a floorboard. “Are you thinking I let him get too close, sir?”  
“I wasn’t here for the whole ordeal.” He remarks casually. “But we aren’t against hugging cadets in the Survey Corps.” 

Your head shot up, eyebrows raised. Was he messing with you? The way his full lips warm into smile indicate he was, in fact. “I didn’t know that you had a sense of humor, sir.” 

He glosses over this observation. “However, I advise that you do not lead him on in any way. Cadet Arlert is…a very sensitive boy. He can become attached easily.”  
“I will be sure to keep him parked at ‘friend’ or ‘whiny kid brother’ status, sir.” You quip, rolling your eyes. Erwin’s smile tugs into a smirk which dies away soon as it lives. Hange walks in with the book and holds it out to the Commander, which he accepts right away. Except, you note, she has given it to him on the page of his sketch-self. You roll your eyes at her and turn your face away again, arms folded. 

“Feels like I’m showing my ass to the world right now.” You mutter sourly.

“Don’t be like that.” Hange sighs impatiently. “There is nothing to be ashamed of honey, really.” You try not to flinch. ‘Honey’? This woman you barely get along with just called you _honey?_ Groan. “I saw the schematic for the bolas. We came down to speak with you and Armin. It’s a really good idea.” She said. You nod once, feeling suddenly quite tired. Armin’s episode left you feeling more drained than when you fought Section Commander Miche. You haven’t had much exposure to crying individuals, truthfully.

“You look worn out.” Miche remarks casually. You nod once again. “That I am, sir. Thinking of getting to sleep early tonight.” His expression is as classically neutral as usual, but then they have Hange to emote for them. She pouts and flops into the chair by your hip. “Listen honey, I got what’s needed for the thermite. I’d like to get it done today. But I understand if you’re not up for it.”

It’s been a long day. Her indirect offer sounds good. Then you remember your encounter with Levi (who is now chatting lowly with Miche) and avoid shooting him a glance. “My apologies Section Commander, I would prefer to mix a highly combustible substance when I’m more alert. As I said, I might try for an early night.”

“More than fair. I don’t want there being accidents with those shiny, shiny explosions.” You quirk a brow. “It’s an exothermic reaction, Section Commander. When lit, it becomes kind of like a big shower of sparks.”

“Well Ms. Aaltonen, I would still like to have a discussion with you about this schematic.” Erwin intervenes as Hange opens her mouth to respond. You turn to face him. “Yes, sir. What in particular do you need to know?”

“I see you have made a note here about using an antique large-bore cannon. Those have not been utilized for decades.”

“Cadet Arlert’s suggestion.” You enlightened. “I had no clue about their existence. But that is correct, sir, the only way a bola would work on a titan of a certain size is if they are in fact scaled to them.”

“Titans are actually not that heavy, you know that right?” Hange asked at your elbow, looking up from where her hands were now on her knees. “Yes, I noticed that about them years ago. Their bodies defy the laws of physics as we understand them. My answer doesn’t change. A normal sized cannon ball on a regular chain won’t work, her stride alone is huge enough to bust the weakest link immediately. These chains have to be proportionally larger, and each link ought to be welded shut.” You again look over at Erwin, who lowers his gaze back to the image sketched on paper. 

“There would be no way to create this here. But I can make inquiries about obtaining one of these cannons.” Since cannons are the Garrison Regiment’s specialty, Smith knew he’d be needing to pay a visit to Dot Pyxis. At least Dot can be trusted. He’s passed Erwin’s checks here and there without being made aware that he was being tested. 

“Until I’m able to take precise measurements from one of these cannons, I can progress no further, sir.”

“I’ve seen as much.” He flips a page then turns it back. This weapon is simple, but then, simple things mean less to go wrong. _Simple_ can be effective. “Thank you for your diligence in this matter, Ms. Aaltonen. I trust you understand this is to remain classified?”

“Yes sir.”

“Very good. You are dismissed for the remainder of today.” There weren’t many hours left before dinner, but you planned to make the most of them.

“Thank you, sir.” You placed your fist to your heart and left, weaving past Miche and Levi. Levi is able to prevent his cold gaze from following your movements. If Miche noted a single waver, he’d be on to him.

They would collect into the library and finish their meeting with the journal for references. But in the end, they too were looking upon the collection of sketches you made during isolation. It’s expensive to have an actual artist paint a portrait if a family wanted one for their homes or whatnot. Here they found themselves and the cadets preserved in moments, simply being happy during their short stay on your farm. 

To see it was a stirring, bittersweet sensation for the group. Levi for one never thought anybody would want a picture of him, much less while merely having a drink of tea. That’s a common enough sight around here, but then, you never thought you’d see them again. He didn’t imagine that you’re the sentimental type until now.

The top brass would disperse, with Hange tucking your dense leather journal under her elbow on the way back to R&D. Miche goes to handle the remainder of drills for today with his squad, Erwin returns to his office, and Levi began to do the same. He passes Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld on the way back to their hall. “Hey Captain. We’re going for a ride before dinner. Would you like to join us?” Petra asks sweetly.

“No, I have too much paperwork. See you after. And don’t fucking fall off, you people need to stop getting hurt.”

“You got it, sir.” She laughs while the other three kind of chuckle, leaving towards the stable. You are not with them, but as Levi is heading towards his door end of the hall, he hears a door open behind him. Turning, he sees your heel vanishing into your room.

The others left. They’d be going to dinner after…no witnesses. Perfect. It’s now or never, paperwork be damned. He had to get you out of his system. Levi Ackerman finally hit his breaking point. It’s tougher to find impromptu opportunities, this is why he cornered you earlier. But now things just lined up beautifully. 

You were about to head for the closet when the door opened behind, and you turn to peer over your shoulder. “Ah. Hello there, Captain.”

“Let’s get this over with.” He feels the words burn out of his chest. He hates himself again. He’s dealt with too much self-loathing in his life. Levi never found himself worthy of love, so the entirety of his sexual encounters were for release only. Though perhaps a part of him hoped somebody could be there in his life and soothe that savage, self-inflicted belief away with the very emotion he didn’t deserve. His mother was a whore, and he still remembered hiding in the closet, attempting to tune out grunts and groans and the rocking of the bed frame.

You awakened that side of him in a way few have managed. You turn to Levi, having contemplated whether you want to let this happen. But then…it’s been a _long_ time coming.

“I never took you for a romantic, Levi.”

Walls, at least you aren’t calling him ‘captain’ or ‘sir’. He wasn’t sure he could handle that if you called him either outside of closed doors after _this_. He turns to leave your room, and you follow. “Lock the office door behind you.” You hear him say.

There was apprehension building. You knew you started it with him. You fucking _knew_. And you knew he gave as good as he got. That’s a comforting thought, anyway. When his mouth descended upon yours, though, he doesn’t bite or push. Levi is too careful to leave evidence, therefore, your lips can’t be bitten or bruised. Any visible regions cannot have marks. 

But, this won’t prevent him from getting rough in other ways, and when his mouth parts from yours he has already picked you up and practically flung you onto his bed, landing right beside and going for the neck as his hands grab your harness, beginning to disentangle it. You start the same treatment with his, closing your eyes when his lips touch yours again. His kisses become feverish. Hungry, even. 

When undoing the straps around his thighs, you take your time to rub over his hardening length, just to get him riled even more. You smirk into his mouth when this friction earns a growl. He pushes his tongue in and yanks your straps down, calloused hands immediately going to pull unceremoniously at your clothing. You’ve managed to kick your boots off, awkwardly.  


“When I fuck you into this mattress, you better _not_ make a damn sound.” He snaps. Your heart manages not to pound. It’ll take more than a lone threat for him to rattle your cage further. Instead, before he drops further down to pull your pants off, you grab his hair and jerk his head up to make eye contact.

“Fine. If you get off, I better too. Make no mistake _Levi_, I’ll bite your fucking cock off otherwise. Coming inside of me is also out of the question. Agree to my terms or I kick the door down and go.”

“Tch…like I want _you_ to have my child, crazy fucking bitch.” He is _so_ infuriated and turned on that you have grabbed his hair. And in the right way, too: close to the scalp, not tearing any of that glossy black out. A shrill goes through his system when you pull again in response. He disengages your hand effortlessly and whips free, getting back to his job of disrobing you. Seeing you nude with that vast amount of scar tissue does nothing to detract from how tone you are, how your breasts are a lovely shape and when he toys with them a bit. He doesn't mind the scars, because he has those too. If anything he understands you are accustomed to pain, and stores this in his mind for later. Levi is not a stranger to occasional knife play. He's rather good with pointy things. The thought of drawing the tip of his cold knife down your spine...yes, please. But that would have been reserved for a day when he didn't need to worry about others walking in the hall and overhearing. Wait--was he considering seeing you again when he isn't done seeing you _now?_  


Levi also remembers your threat as the urge passes to force your head down. Perhaps oral is off the table until he knows you won’t make good on it. For now, he lets you finish undressing him too, finally seeing this beautiful, sculpted physique of his. You don't get to enjoy the view. Levi wants to get straight to business. This was never meant to be romantic.

It _could_ be fun, though.

The first round is pure stress release. He needed to have your legs over his shoulders so he could bottom out. When he first drives his full length in like that you must cover your mouth to prevent a squeal, which makes him more self-content than he’s ever been. This is _exactly_ how he knew this had to go. Neither of you would be satiated until you've manhandled one another sufficiently. As you throb inside, you make hazy plans to pin him down. He's a little smaller, but physically stronger. A harness could be pressed into service as restraints. Yes...Levi with his wrists wrapped in leather was an appealing thought. Not yet. Soon. _After._ When he feels he is safe, you will do so. He can't be permitted to be the only one in control. For now, you indulge his ego.

“FUCK, you’re tight.” He hisses under his breath as he adjusts to the feeling of your snug entry. You shiver around him as he shifts your legs for the ideal angle. You release a muffled whimper when you feel his cock hit the exact spot, probably by accident. He was mostly moving around for his benefit, not yours. “Not that I don’t want you to scream for me, but shut your _cunt_ mouth or I’ll shut it for you.” He places a hand on your throat to help choke away the sound that's coming out, now snapping his hips forward mercilessly hard. Skin begins to whiten around his fingertips while you struggle. Gritting your teeth, you try not to yelp in his hold along with this sensation of him hammering in and out, refusing to let up. His hand vanishes before those fingerprints become bruises.

Levi switches positions, wrangling you so your back is facing him, and enters from behind. He was already appreciating that you’re vulnerable like this. Being in a position of power was an even bigger turn on. He must have control of your body whereas you are not allowed to have control over his. Yes. _Perfect._

But as he’s holding your hip with one hand and the other manipulates your clit, you’re just trying to bite back the gasps, small noises managing to slide past your lips. Upon hearing this Levi is feeling the same. He is holding down the primal grunts and growls that threaten to escape when your walls start to constrict him, your body having quickly acquired his wild rhythm. His fingertips might be calloused, but holy HELL, he knew how to use them. 

There is not going to be any cooperation in order to cum at the same time. He’s beginning to overstimulate your clit, and its getting annoying. You try not to thrash against him when you feel the heat pooling and releasing out of your core in dizzying fashion, exhaling a shuddering breath as Levi suddenly finds that he has been soaked. You reach back and slap his hand away when he continues to overstimulate anyway, rubbing circles around your clit in a way that makes you want to snarl like an animal. “Fucking STOP that shit, ya cock-sucking son of a bitch!” You growl over your shoulder. His smugness returns with a low, almost cruel laugh. "Haa-hah, what was that, slut? You want it harder?" He responds with a particularly vicious thrust. You are seeing stars. Ugh. Fuck him _and_ his overconfidence.  


Oh, wait. You're already doing that.

He chooses to give your hips a harsh squeeze and continues to use you, every pump becoming more erratic until he has to pull out barely in time, the majority of his seed landing between your knees. A little has caught to your left inner thigh in a milky wash that you decide to wipe away with the flat sheet, which has already received the brunt of his orgasm. If he didn’t care, neither did you.  
“Shi…” He breathed, huffing a little. Levi turns and lays on his side supported by an elbow; damp, heated skin close to yours. With how hard he’d been going, you were already a bit sore. Not to mention he didn’t exactly wait until you were perfectly ready for him. You slapped the side of his ass that you could see.

He could probably crack a walnut. Dammit. Why does he have to be so fine? Why is this even allowed? “Don’t tell me you’re a one and done kind of guy, I just might scream.”

“You think you’re getting out of this so fast? We’re having so much fun already.” He grates out sarcastically yet meaning at least half of that. “Still want to bite my dick off?”

“I was thinking of seeing how steady your nerves are.” 

His eyes narrow, searching yours. He felt a bit better now that the urgency was gone, but he was certainly not done yet. To hell with his sheets. They’d need to be thrown out by the time this is done. 

Fine. He has spares.


	14. Subconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can take a little while for the conscious mind to catch up with what lay beneath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Can I just say that as I was typing the beginning of this, ‘One Minute Man’ by Missy Elliot began playing and I lol’d?  
Now let’s clear something up: this IS a story with a plot. It ISN’T, however, porn with plot. While there shall be occasional full on lemons, most of the time it’s going to be intimate moments that’re not as graphically described. I’d like you guys to be patient with me on this whole love triangle thing, I do have certain plans for it but I’m mapping out the rest as I go from point to point. Erwin did win the vote, so he’s who we end up with…that said, there was some explosively sexual tension happening from the build up with Levi and Reader-chan. I think everybody saw where that was headed. xD
> 
> Here's a nice, lengthy chapter. <3
> 
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do  
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you  
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you._
> 
> _No, I don't wanna fall in love  
No, I don't wanna fall in love  
With you_
> 
> _What a wicked game to play  
To make me feel this way  
What a wicked thing to do  
To let me dream of you  
What a wicked thing to say  
You never felt this way  
What a wicked thing to do  
To make me dream of you_
> 
> _No, I don't wanna fall in love  
No, I don't wanna fall in love  
No, I don't wanna fall in love  
No, I don't wanna fall in love  
With you.  
-‘Wicked Game’ – Ursine Vulpine feat. Annaca. (An offshoot of the Chris Isaak song.)_

Subconscious

That first watery morning light would cast pools on the floor in sallow rays. When the edge of one slanted across his face, Levi’s argent eyes sprung open. He is closer to the left edge of the bed than the right, and his arm is over an empty space that has not been warm since he laid down.

“…” He’s been having dreams again, but not the average tortured kind. For whatever reason, his traitor mind chose to give him illusions of _her_, sliding under his covers without permission. He dimly recalled telling her to go the fuck away without any of the weight behind those words, causing her to smirk languidly and deadpan, “If you want me out, you’ll need to carry me. My legs are still shaking.”

He slid an arm underneath the curves he previously violated, but felt his own strength leaving him. Was this a quality of the dream or more of a commentary on how burnt out he was? She watched, orbs a glint between feathery lash lines, what amusement was held inside of them dissipated. With Levi’s arm wedged between her and the mattress and his opposite hand on her hip, she grasped the former firmly and pulled his arm around her. Her own arms are shortly tucked around him. She brought his warmth fully against her own, and his face was then in the crook of her neck. 

“What the hell are you—"  
“---We fucked _your_ way. Now we sleep how I want.” 

Levi’s mouth closed with a tongue click. As body heat collected against him, his mind lulled into that drowsy haze. He remembered turning his face more into her neck and placing a lone kiss, inhaling and taking in the clean scent of the soap he keeps in his bathroom. He appreciated that she smelled like him now. Levi felt that soft mouth against the top of his head before drifting his lids shut in her embrace.

In **your** embrace.

Now he is awake and knowing that you never stayed with him through the night. He had a dream that felt like a taunt crueler than the way you both treated one another. _’Remember that you don’t deserve to be loved, you filthy piece of shit.’_ His subconscious seems to remind, eternally beating him out of the ego so many thought he had.

Levi Ackerman does not actually have an ego. He has only truth, knowing the extent of his abilities. Now he has a type of kindred spirit within reach, and he had to ask himself how stupid he was to have played things out the way he did. He doesn’t need more personal loathing in his head. And yet, here it is, blasting manic self-pity in his ears. 

There is the familiar hollowness of an empty stomach. Hunger was once an old friend. Today he will let it visit with him until lunch, because he does not think he can be civil if he sees you at breakfast.

_With You…_

It was a much longer night than you anticipated. Evidently, Levi Ackerman has superhuman stamina in and out of the bedroom. You would know, as you learned the hard way.

Having known damn well your legs were too weak after that performance, you could not be going down to dinner. He let you wash up in his bathroom while he handled the sheets, which were such a disaster that he would have preferred to burn them. You have no idea what he does with them either way, but then you were also not in his room when he returned. Levi had to make some type of fleeting appearance. It was not unusual for him to disappear into his office for long periods like any of the higher ups, but he wanted to take a cautionary measure.

Then he was back to his room, slumping hard onto his bed with a lethargic groan. It was a monumental effort on his part to be standing up whatsoever after such activities. You had not been kind with him either, particularly on the third round. Levi discovered that you had no interest in staying a helpless, fucked-out mess for his sake. You turned the tables on him in a flash when he was dazed on his high and had used his _own_ harness to wrap his wrists, looping one end around the bed post. That pissed him off to high hell. 

You did not care. You knew how to make his body respond and respond he did. There was revenge after, where he made sure you would regret your bit of fun. 

Yes, it was astonishing either of you could budge after that bit of a row. But this is certain: you both had a heavy, dead sort of slumber in separate rooms. A teeny percentage of you yearned to have a post-coital snuggle, but that would lead to developing feelings. He doesn’t want that and right now, you weren’t sure you did either. No matter _how_ smoking hot that man is.

Damn him.

The next morning though? You were up early, dressed, and in the mess hall for breakfast. Being ravenous you were about to land anywhere as usual with your food, but you saw Petra beckoning you over to one of the tables on the officer’s side of the room. Quirking a brow, you approached and descended into the seat beside her. Oluo, Eld and Gunther were there too. A pot of tea sat steaming pleasantly from its porcelain spout between them. “Good morning.” She greeted merrily. “Missed you last night. What happened?”

“Concussion flareup. I was too nauseous to eat.” You shrug her concern off effortlessly. “Good morning to you, too…” You trailed off, noticing that Gunther was rubbing the joint of his thumb which was quite swollen. “Got your girlfriend pregnant, Gunth?” Eld and Oluo snorted while Petra halfheartedly smacked your shoulder.

Gunther affixes you with an unimpressed stare. “Oh, hah. _Hilarious.”_

You have a bite of toast, nodding thanks when Eld pours himself then you some tea. “Arlert still looks like a kicked puppy,” Gunther begins, watching the boy walk in with his friends, continuing to appear lifeless as he was at dinner. The brunette motions with his chin towards the Cadet’s direction. You twist to have a look, noticing that Armin does indeed seem morose. A sigh blows out of your mouth. “I thought he’d have gotten over it by now.”

“What did you do?” Petra’s tone contains a warning. 

“Alright listen, I didn’t hurt him if that’s what you’re thinking. The kid was looking through my journal. He saw some things and started bawling, had I realized that he was such a delicate flower I wouldn’t have let him.” You drank your tea. Tea seems to be the whole squad’s drink of choice when nothing stronger is available. You didn’t mind, it has a smooth flavor and a pleasant fragrance. 

Oluo is instantly suspicious, not unlike how Petra was. “Things like _what?”_

“Like a drawing of my friend. Redwood. Well…late friend.” You took another sip. This response seemed to satiate their curiosity, though you were very aware of why any of them cared at all: it’s been their job to train you in appropriate behavior around here when Levi isn’t available. Though they generally didn’t catch you saying or doing anything very untoward, Cadets tend to get themselves shoved around by older and more experienced soldiers. Gunther for one never appreciated that shit, Petra was about level with him in terms of ‘disgust against bullying’. 

“Well that’s not good.” Petra voiced with a light sigh. “I’m surprised you let others look through that anyhow, if I had a journal it’d be my best kept secret.”

“To be fair, it was originally my Father’s. He didn’t exactly put intimate thoughts in there, and I don’t either. There is no sense recording that stuff on paper for others to find. The most personal subject matter in there pertain to what I drew, and that’s not very private to begin with.”

“Can I see them later, then?” She asked brightly. 

“Hm…well, that’s not up to me right now. Section Commander Hange keeps it down in R&D, they have been going through my schematics.” You hate not telling the truth, lies are such an effort to keep track of. While you are capable of them, it is a bother. Commander Erwin told you point blank that the chained bolas are to remain classified for now, and this is a _very_ public room. You couldn’t tell them whether you desired to or not, though this team is very likely to become involved in their usage as Special Operations.

“Might be smarter to get a separate sketchbook if you like to draw so much.” Eld remarks mildly, mixing the contents of his bowl. You nod acquiescence as your mouth was full. Gunther raised his head again as though abruptly remembering an important thing. “D-Day is next week. Shit.” He looked at Petra purposefully and her brow crinkled. She gave an uncharacteristic grumble. “We’re still on light duty. There’s no way we’re going to be able to practice enough for this year’s showing even if we’re cleared by then.”

Gunther’s face fell. “I know…” He felt as though he were letting the whole Survey Corps down just thinking about it. You were munching on breakfast and watching them blankly, the way you do when you have no clue what’s doing on. For being so smart, you have the world’s crappiest poker face.

“We fucking hate D-Day, Haz.” Eld supplies not-helpfully, having noted that you were waiting for an explanation. Oluo piped up. “D-Day. _Demonstrations._ It’s when the three Regiments get together to show why we deserve continued funding from the Crown.”

“That’s not self-evident?”  
“Tch, no.”  
“Stop trying to sound like the Captain, Oluo, it’s stupid.” Petra snipped. You smirked at the withering glare she received and ate your last bite of toast. “Anyway Haz, if Gunther and I aren’t off light duty in advance enough to train, that means you three and Captain Levi will be running double-time beforehand.”

You are clearly still giving them a strange look. “Do they haul titans into an arena or whatever?”

“If they did, we’d have _all_ the damn funding instead of the Military Police.” Gunther rumbled. “Garrison isn’t terrible at killing titans with cannons specifically, but most in the Military Police haven’t seen one of those bastards before. Titan elimination is _our_ specialty.”

“No shit. Do we demonstrate on targets then, like with the ODMG course?”

“Kind of. It’s stupid.”

“Hence why we hate it.” Eld adds.

You are glancing between your four teammates. “Then is this funding guaranteed if we do well?” 

_“No.”_ They chorus.

“…then you know what? I hate it too. Seems like a time suck.”

“Knew you’d see it our way.” Gunther said. “Between demonstrations we get to walk around Stohess though, that’s pleasant at least if you can afford it.”

Eld shrugged. “Higher standard of living in Stohess equals jacked up prices. The rich live in and around Wall Sina. To them, such expenses are average.”

“Oh, right. I forgot that this society operates on currency.”

This, in turn, earns _you_ the strange looks until they recall that you knew only barter your whole life. “Oh…OH.” Petra closed her jaw and pasted on a smile. “We’re getting paid for the month shortly. They usually try to get us what we’re due before big events like this.” Oluo and Gunther are still eyeballing you funny.

You give a very, _very_ flat sort of glare. “Can you people try harder not to make me feel like a hermit?”

“We can try, but it’s not going to work very well. Because you _were_ a hermit.”

“Fuck off, Ruffles.” 

Petra, Eld and Gunther often found themselves entertained at Oluo’s exchanges with you. Eld and Gunther, because it was humorous to see one of you take the other down a peg. Petra, because she was glad to have another female on the team who gives his nonsense straight back. “Ruffles,” She began in her very best saccharine lilt. Oh yes. That’s a keeper. If Oluo insists on dressing like Captain Levi, he must suffer. “Would you pass the tea?”

“Yeah Ruffles, would you mind terribly?” You echoed sweetly, leaning over and putting your head on Petra’s shoulder while hugging her upper arm, batting your lashes. He does so haughtily with a curled lip, and you let go of Petra and fully scoot back onto your seat. “You are very different this morning. And not in a good way, you shitty little brat.”

“Typical Ruffles, always wanting the last word.”

“If I need to have the last word, why do you women always—” He stopped, jaw hinging shut at the smug expression which consumed your face and the increasingly cold one on Petra’s. Instead, he stuck up his middle finger and resumed eating. You chuckled at his brusque mannerisms as Petra glowered at him, silently daring him to finish that statement.

“Oluo, _don’t_ get into it with the women when you’re still waking up. It’s not worth the early morning emasculation, man.” Eld’s words are wise, shaking his head pityingly as he said this. Oluo is one of those witless wonders for the first hours of the morning who isn’t fully human until after 10 and speaks with zero filter, irrelevant of how much caffeine he’s consumed. The guy has always been more of a night owl. He prefers it this way in the event of a hookup. 

“I wonder where Captain Levi is?” Petra asks, turning and glancing about for any sign of the midget. Eren, though part of the team, likes to dine with his 104th buddies (because he doesn’t feel right at what Sasha calls ‘the grown ups table’ anyway) but Levi is a punctual being, always arriving and making the tea first. Today Petra made it. You took another sip of yours. It was still equal parts peculiar and pleasant, but you yearned for a taste of home. Tea Rose made the best violet tea sachets.

Then again, this is your home now. But it still came back to you, memories of that place. Like any childhood home, it shall always be a part of you.

“Does he ever sleep in?” You think to ask, continuing to play it cool. This was a thing that you turned over in your head for a bit before getting out of bed; you can’t let them get a whiff of what happened. Not out of shame, but merely because it becomes more complicated if others know. Levi is the one who pursued last night with you. Though you both knew there would need to be a chance to break the tension, you didn’t anticipate his reaction. Levi claimed he did not want to go into a situation where the team is attempting to capture the Female Titan again, only to be distracted by _you_. When the others began chatting about D-Day again, you were curious about whether he still considered you a distraction. If so, does it not stand to reason he would not want you here? Did he, perhaps, only request you be assigned to his personal squad so he can keep you within arm’s reach?

Would Erwin see reason if you chose to ask him for a transfer if this became too much of a burden? It’s bad enough that riding in through Wall Rose made you feel trapped but being stuck in place with a predator is another problem completely. If Levi Ackerman saw fit to make this a regular thing, you had no idea how to handle him. He is seen around here as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. Having seen him in action on multiple occasions, you were not confident that you best the man in a fight of any kind. Miche Zacharias is widely regarded as the second strongest in the Scouts, and he had you on the ropes for two out of three spar matches. The one you won was achieved by thinking outside the box, and he’d been perilously close to wrenching your legs free of his throat. If he did, you knew you would’ve been pummeled. The guy could rip one of your arms off and beat you to death with it.

ODMG is your greatest weapon, specifically when you can customize it. That is presently not an option. Hange was muttering to Moblit Berner that she’d like to get one of the rooms in the back of the fortress outfitted as a workshop should you be transitioned to R&D, but Levi was flat down refusing her on that front. You would prefer to pick a spot and remain in it—at this point, Miche’s team or another entirely seemed more appealing if Hange and Levi were going to play tug-of-war like two animals with a scrap of meat. 

Breakfast of course ended on a cheerful note and everyone is expected to attend morning exercises down on the green. 

Following warm-ups was horseback riding. This is one of those drills you began looking forward to once introduced to them: your new warhorse Umber was a sweet, mellow thing; and she would run fearlessly through, around or over any obstacle. You infrequently marveled at how ideally these horses are trained, being skittish creatures by nature. 

The Steeplechase Course is by far the most fun. Horseback riding drills happen but twice a week to keep both horse and rider sharp. Hange’s team is around for once, with the lady herself howling and whooping like her usual lunatic self. You concentrate on the course ahead, keeping Umber’s reigns wrapped about your hands. There is a leap followed by a shallow, watery ditch. She clears it in a bound, running neck-in-neck with Jean and Christa’s horses now. Out of the 104th Cadets, Christa is easily the most amazing at horseback riding. Today Jean is acquitting himself bravely, but it does not help that Connie is shouting out every permutation of ‘why the long face’ that he can think of. 

Here is another ‘for once’: Commander Erwin is outside this morning, riding along the edges on his tawny-maned white stallion and watching how drills are progressing. Levi is out ahead of the pack, racing Hange (niggling at one another the whole way, not unlike Connie and Jean) and Miche is sitting on his steed in the middle, shouting out on occasion to those who manage to short jumps or get tangled up in an obstacle. Hange was supposed to do this, but she got mired in an argument with Levi. And lost. She was now galloping away, balls out terrified. 

“I’M SORRY LEVIIIII!!!!”  
“HOLD IT, YOU DAMN FOUR-EYED--”

Normally he’s so composed out here. Seeing Captain Shortcake lose his shit and chase after Hange was entertaining, as you rode around to the end of the course along with Christa. Jean had to drop back to trade insults with Connie, having thought up a few decent ‘q-ball’ barbs. 

“Those two should get a room.” You remark dryly to Christa, who giggles right away. “Which two do you think? Jean and Connie, or Section Commander Hange and Captain Levi?”

“Column A and Column B.” You drawled, letting Umber out of her trot. At this point Levi is riding after Hange around the perimeter. What she said to get him so pissed off is beyond you, most of their insults back and forth went unheard. Christa hummed. “Mmh, I don’t know if I agree. Hey, we finished early, want to go through again?”

“This is my third round already; you go on ahead. Umber needs a break.” She nodded and rode away. You pulled to the side to wait like others would, watching those still completing their second run. 

The hard and fast rule is that if you hiccup, you must go back to the beginning and start over until the run is completed without error. Miche has eagle eyes, he doesn’t let anybody get away with a damn thing. He doesn’t need to speak a word; he mostly ends up turning his head in the direction of whoever fucked up and they know better than to balk. 

“You’ve completed early today.” Erwin’s voice says to your left. He had been on his way around the edge again, avoiding Hange and Levi’s absurd dispute. It was also a harmless one this time, they generally knew when to stop being ridiculous. Hange can get on Levi’s nerves in a way few can. You turned and smiled sunnily at the Commander; whose countenance warms up a hint when he notes the contentment in your features. “I always liked riding.” You tell him. “I’m surprised to see you out here, sir. Felt like getting some fresh air?”

“That I did.” He responds a little tiredly. You cock your head, examining his posture in the saddle. Erwin keeps proper form, but his spine would like to slouch. It’s been two weeks since you provided a shoulder rub, and he’s obviously cramped up again. “A person whose body is conditioned to fight doesn’t fare well when stuck in an office all day.” You observe aloud, orbs flickering up to his crystal blues. One of his eyebrows raises very slightly at this statement. “Is your offer still on the table?” He asked out of nowhere. You took a second to grasp the query in your mind.

Oh, right.

“Sparring? Yes, always. Why, want to go Commander? I’ll take you on _any_ day.” Your sly grin makes him laugh inwardly, mouth curving lightly at the edge into a wry smirk. “Don’t think I will go easy on you, Ms. Aaltonen.”

“Do you know that every opponent says those precise words? I’m beginning to think it’s a Scout catchphrase.” Your smirk disappears. “Don’t think I’ll go easy on _you_ because you’re our fearless leader. I can tell you have some rage of your own strapped down in there, sir. Deny it however you want.”

This interests him. Erwin is very guarded about letting certain things show to others, but then, you are also the woman who drew a picture of him from memory. He’s shown enough of his personality on few occasions where you would you’d immortalize those moments in your memory.

When he was able to see into his own eyes watching back boldly from a page, he saw everything then which he sees in himself every damn morning in the mirror. The agonies of leadership, the hurt from lost comrades, the sexual repression and touch starvation of having too much work; the _raw fucking anger_ from multiple slights against his people---the last, boxed into a corner so no one would be singed when it finally exploded. He saw through himself and was curious how much you caught as well.

One thing was certain: before you knew him as the Commander, you knew Erwin Smith as a man. Though you refer to him as is appropriate, he remains unconvinced that you have stopped thinking of him _as_ a man instead of as a title. That incident where you pushed convention aside and touched his aching, burdened shoulders was plenty of proof on that score. Your offer to spar was another hint, which is a thing nobody in their right might below Captain status would have suggested. He offered to assist you in acclimating to their society, though neither of you took one another up on either suggestion.

That makes it anybody’s move in this game, and he was making his. Erwin can see into a person or situation for miles. This is how he became Scout Commander when Sadies could no longer do the same, if indeed he ever could. 

You do not know how sorely outmatched you are, but this is a factoid which had yet to stall you to date.

“Once drills are over,” Erwin began slowly, watching more and more trickle off the course. “There’s a training room indoors. I prefer not to spar out in the open.” He could always ask Miche, his usual fighting buddy, they’re both large men and they present a challenge for one another. Levi’s a solid spar partner as well, but his height provides certain disadvantages against a bigger opponent. But Erwin determined that if you aren’t cowed, he’d take you up on it.

You nod. This made sense, about the indoor spot. He needs to preserve his reputation; the man cannot do that if he is on display 24/7. “As you say, sir. One request though, if you would indulge me.”

“What might that be?”

“If you _must_ hit me in the head, can you do so on the other side?” You poked a finger into your current bruise, producing a negligible ache and a dimple. “I wouldn’t want to go around feeling lopsided.”

This got an actual chuckle out of him, though short lived. There you go, being cute again. He appreciated the levity.

Exercises would resume once the last stragglers finished; with a swap to transferring from horseback to ODMG on the next course, and re-mounting on the run. You’re a pro at it. You showed them that before. Umber’s back might be smaller than Fury’s, but you acclimated fine and sailed true. From sitting to balancing atop the saddle, firing anchors, cutting a target and gliding back around, you landed on Umber’s back with nary a wobble every time. It is perhaps the only moment you’re actually graceful, rest of the time you sling back and forth between trees and targets like a savage. 

Upon conclusion of today’s drills, the Cadets cliqued together as usual and babbled amongst themselves. You caught them talking about riding out to a lake in their off hours for a swim. You knew that the land between each wall is a massive stretch, but it still surprises you a bit that there might be an actual lake hiding tucked down in the hills. Listening to them, these teens appear to be making plans in conspiratorial tones. You grumbled a bit to yourself, realizing that this is doomed to become another issue. Eren can’t go anywhere without one of Levi Squad on watch. That meant _you_ if you’re the only one who knows, so you rode up level. “Hey, Eren.” You call, getting his attention. He blinks unbelievably large teal eyes in your direction. “Oh, hey Haz. What’s up?”

“There’s a lake around here?”

“Er…yeah.” He deflates. Crap, were they busted? Before you know it, Jean has ridden up to your left side. “Listen, can you be cool about this? They’ve been on our case and we just need to escape for a few hours.” 

You do not appreciate being put in this position. The Scouts have been gracious, you didn’t want to ruin a good thing. “Look, you know this is a bad idea, right?”

“Come on, PLEASE?” Jean pleads. “Don’t spill on us, okay? It’s a harmless swim, nobody’s going to get hurt.”

You steer Umber with your legs and rub your temples, reins over the saddle horn. “I’m not promising anything. Go or don’t, I’m not the one who would be in trouble here.” You tell them. They seem hopeful. You and Eren turn your horses into the first stable entrance, the others are riding by to the second one. Levi, Gunther, Petra, Eld and Oluo are already tending to their horses. 

They are also chortling over how Levi nearly succeeded in unhorsing Hange earlier, with the latter yelping and shrieking bloody murder like a banshee. You still have no idea why the Commander didn’t stop them from being nuts, but then, he’s also known them far longer…what you perceive as ‘nuts’ is apparently any given Tuesday. He probably lacked the ability to care about their antics.

It isn’t until now that you feel the awkwardness stemming from last night, with Levi close by and the others easily within earshot. You decide to tune them out and focus on removing saddle, bridle and blanket, then brushing the sweat out of Umber’s fur. Your eyes skim keenly along the subtle dapple markings in her burnished coat, bookmarking the size and shape of the most prominent ones in your mind’s eye. You’d been considering drawing her. Now’s as good a chance as any to absorb her features.

Though whenever the Captain started talking a couple stalls over, your mind continually gets yanked back to unwelcome thoughts. This time it’s about Eren, who is next door pouring water out for his bay. Ultimately, duty will win out in the end. You were entrusted to help watch this Shifter, him sneaking out with his friends could be more of a recipe for disaster than the teens bargained for. Accidents do happen and Eren isn’t in absolute control of his Titan from what you’ve heard.

You busy yourself with making sure Umber’s stall is immaculate, hoping to wait the others out. They would steadily trickle back up to the castle, though Mr. Clean Freak was still doing his thing. You decide to be nice and bring a bucket of water for his horse, having not noticed him going by for any yet. “Knock knock?” You call in. He looks up, gunmetal eyes steely glints in the partial gloom. “What?”

“Water.” You poured it out into the trough. His black steed immediately goes to take a drink. 

“Oh. Thanks.” He responds dully. Levi’s stall is perfectly kempt as anticipated, and he is meticulously brushing his horse’s shimmering midnight coat out. You swing your arm back, bucket in hand, and push out a sigh. “I came to talk to you about Eren and the other cadets, sir.”

“What are they doing this time?” He grumbles, knowing full well where this is going. Those kids were ever trying to find opportunities on lighter days to go off and around. Normally it’s not frowned upon but doing so clandestinely is when becomes a problem. “They appear to be making plans to go to a lake together, sir. When I asked about it, they asked me to be cool and not tell anyone. I didn’t make any promises, as I’m aware we’re supposed to watch Eren. The others…I couldn’t care less. Eren is a known risk.”

“Those shitty little brats are always getting themselves into trouble. One would think they’d learn.” Levi's response is callous as usual. “Did they say when?”

“They didn’t decide on when, from what I recall.”

“Well Aaltonen, since you have a memory like a steel trap, I believe you.” This is a compliment somehow, but you only nod your appreciation once. The black horse has turned his velvety nose in your direction and taken one step, sniffing. You remain still. “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

You reach out and pat the horse’s jaw. He shakes his neck and brings his nose inches closer again. _’Interesting, the horse is friendlier than the rider.’_ Your eyes turn toward said rider. Levi has knelt down, brushing along where the saddle strap crosses the horse’s belly. “What’s his name?”

“Erebos.”

Your eyebrows went up. “You named him after the personification of darkness? Grim yet fitting, I suppose.”

“I’m surprised you know that. And no, the breeders name them.” Levi remarks patiently, standing up and walking around to Erebos’s other side. He’s low-key proud of himself for not biting your head off. Instead he concentrates on brushing his stallion’s shining black fur. 

“Mother kept a few of those books in their collection. I’m guessing that the breeders had a fondness for fictional literature.” The books in question were an epic written by an author under a false name. There were supposedly only so many printed before the press was shut down and the manuscript and printing plates taken. You had the first one in your pack since in your opinion it was the most well written, and you’ve probably read it thrice in your life. It was a memory of Mom. She was not a saintly woman, but she was the only mother you had, and you still loved her.

Erebos has again brought his muzzle close, liquid eyes turned towards your face. You caved and provided neck rubs. “Did you want me to do anything regarding this lake issue, sir?”

His watches you out the corner of his eye at hearing the ‘sir’ again. Why did it feel like a letdown? “Just keep your ears open and let the others know when you see them at lunch. It _is_ our responsibility to watch Eren, so if he decides to sneak off, I suppose we’re going to have to sneak after him.”

You watched his hands go through continuous motions. Was he saying what you thought he was? “You mean let them think they got away with it?”

“They’re kids. Eren will never trust you again if he thinks you’ve ratted on him, that isn’t acceptable since his life is in our hands. I wanted you on my team because you’re _skilled_ Aaltonen, whether or not Gunther and Petra are on light duty. You haven’t seen his titan form in action yet, believe me when I say he’s nothing like the normal shitheads we kill on the average. If that brat goes rogue, we must handle him. Simple as that.”

“Sir, you never did catch me up on how that’s meant to work. I’ve been on this team for over two weeks. Did you forget?”

“No.” Levi sighs in annoyance. You’re right—but he’d been avoiding spending too much time alone with you. He believed an abundance of caution would help instill a sense of self control, which it didn’t. The distance only made it tougher for him to ignore you when you were with him. It was attraction that could become fatal in the wrong situation if he were to get distracted.

That said…he _did_ feel better after getting you mostly out of his system, whether or not his subconscious had other plans. 

“Come by my office sometime. I can catch you up on what we do in the event Yeager needs to be suppressed.” He sounds resigned to something. What, you don’t know. You try not to assume that it has anything to do with last night, the man all but said that there are no tomorrows. “Very well, sir. At any rate I’ll be heading up to meet with Commander Erwin.”

“Why’s that?” His query is razor sharp, snapping from his tongue with a momentum that would have blindsided you if you didn’t anticipate his asking. 

“Seems he remembered that I offered to be his sparring partner.” You cocked an eyebrow at Levi, catching how he lets a blip of tension out of his back upon hearing that. He must’ve believed you were going to tattle. “Don’t worry. Your message was loud and clear, sir.” And you salute him before going, opting to bow out with dignity. Levi turns his face away from the stall door, looking down at the brush in hand. Erebos snorts and turns his head to peer at his owner in the half-light, obviously wary of Levi’s emotions. 

You would go up to the Commander’s office, but as you turned to place a foot on the first stair, he was already halfway down. “Ah. Ms. Aaltonen, there you are.” He greets crisply. 

“Here I am.” You agree. 

“Shall we, then?”  
“If you’re still up to it, sir.”  
“Yes, I’ve had my stitches removed as of yesterday. Today I have no pain.” He began walking down the corridor, leading the way. You keep in step with him. “I can’t promise that won’t be the case after this.” You tease. “I have an old habit of hitting people where I know they’re already hurt.”

“I do not go after your jaw and you do not hit my arm. Deal?”  
“Deal.” Then, “Were you simply taking it easy because of the stitches, sir? Is that why you were outside earlier?”  
“More or less.” He responds in a very mild, relaxed sort of tone. Erwin was realizing that he lets his guard down very slightly in your presence, even that much is calming to him. Initially it was subconscious.  
He is also keenly aware that he didn’t even feel that way around Marie, who had been an exceptional woman herself. With regard to Marie he’d been younger, less experienced, and still a bit too prone to screw ups—case in point, Nile married her and he didn’t. Erwin Smith might have flings for maintenance purposes when the mood struck, but they never went further than that. That is commonplace among the military, romance doesn’t survive long.

It takes a rare woman to captivate his interest enough at this stage, in his early thirties. You’re in your late twenties and were seemingly untamable back in Vanaheim. That Ash fellow tried coming in a couple more times than they let you become aware of. One of those intrusions occurred while you were sleeping. He was accustomed to taking _who_ he wanted _when_ he wanted, but you were that mountain he had trouble scaling. Erwin blocked him off before he hit base one, having been on watch that evening. 

The fool was made to feel about an inch tall and sent packing. Smith did not feel the urge to raise a hand against a man so morally bankrupt he was hardly worth drawing a blade for, though his words slit to the marrow. Ash saw the edge of wickedness, the cunning, the _lethality_ in the Commander and thought better of trying to have his way. His confidence evaporated into the fog.  
He’d been awfully ballsy to begin with, or else he might’ve been wiser than to try anything while the Scouts were around. It is believed he was from the Military Police but refined his talents after Scout fashion, even acquiring certain tools from the bodies of their fallen. Military Police also believe they have but to reach out and take what they desire.

Having walked in comfortable silence, Erwin opened the door to the first training room and held it for you. You cross through with a low laugh. “Ever the gentleman. Even when you intend to kick my ass.”

“An opponent can still be treated graciously.” His remark holds the same mild calm. You are glancing around. There’s training equipment in here that you’ve never seen before, apart from a punching bag. There are weights, padded fabric mats on the floor, chairs stacked three-high, a sword rack, a few other odds and ends. It’s a reasonably big place, plenty of room to maneuver around. “Is this where you typically train? You never go outside, sir?”

“You may call me Erwin in here.” He was striding across to a cabinet beside a full-length mirror, motioning you over as he went.  


“Only if you stop calling me Ms.” You stop beside him, he hands you two rolls of white material for wrapping around your fists. “_Mrs._ Aaltonen was my mother, the Ms. feels too similar. I’m just Hazard of Vanaheim.”

“You don’t want to use your birth name?” He asked, removing his jacket. You note that Erwin swapped his white button-down from earlier for a fitted tee that he probably wouldn't mind ruining. It's the same blue as in the Wings of Freedom. This makes his eyes more prominent, as though they needed help with such. “…no.” You take a cue from him and remove your jacket too. Beneath it you are wearing a medium grey v-neck. The quartermaster didn’t have much in the way of tops. Most soldiers brought their own from home, so what you now owned was very basic. 

“May I ask why?” He is taping from his wrists to his hands, focusing on the white bandages. You are now doing the same. “My birth name was only used when I was in trouble. I’m kind of hard wired to flinch when I hear it.” His blues edge towards your form upon hearing this. Erwin saw what the doctor’s report had to say, regarding the percentage of your body covered in scar tissue. Initially he attributed that to living outside Wall Maria, trial and error, et cetera.

Now he understood that may not be completely true.

At his silence, “Was that too honest?”

“No.” Erwin answered without a single ounce of pity. He knew you are aware he would work it out. You trusted him with this. He would not betray that. “It _is_ good for me to know, however.” He didn’t like that you preferred to be called Hazard or Haz, he actually liked your birth name much better. But he would respect your wishes. “What was it like growing up inside these walls?” You decide to ask, wrapping your opposite hand. Erwin does turn his head to watch you now. You aren’t looking back.

“We had monsters of our own to contend with.” Remembering his father, how the good man was taken away. How it was blamed on an accident, and there were others like him. Forward thinking people that let themselves become known don’t last long when unprotected. “For the most part, it was peaceful.”

The end of your bandage tucks in. You flex your fingers experimentally. He notes that you have experience with wrapping your hands like this. You have fit a strip between each finger like a boxer. Abusive assholes they might’ve been, but they taught you right. You motion with your head across to the mats. “Alright Erwin don’t get chivalrous on me now that you know. Treat me like a doll, and I will break you in three. Are we going to do this or not?”

Those vivid eyes narrow slightly at your bravado. He’s reminded of his theory about your mentality, if he doesn’t prove himself, you’ll never take him seriously again. He is _certainly_ a person to be taken seriously. “Remember you said that.” He warns, walking out onto the mats. “Two rules: the fight ends at first blood or tap out. Second: as agreed, we do not intentionally strike for wounds.”

“Third,” You think to add. “Maybe avoid the face.”  
Well, he _does_ like your face. He can attack that another way. HAH, wouldn’t _that_ knock you off your game? “Agreed.” Erwin has reached the center. He’s preparing to turn when you’ve already assaulted him; you’d jump, grab his shoulders and pulled your whole body upwards across his back before he can complete the motion. 

Best thing you learned from Miche? Don’t get honorable and wait for the bigger guy to say ‘go’. 

Smith however is perfectly stoic. He doesn’t bother trying to drop his weight; instead he’s able to disrupt your grip before you can completely lock it up, grabs a hold and catapults you forward off his frame to the floor. You barely had a chance to see that coming, but you brace up enough not to get the wind knocked out of you this time. He is not giving you chances to recover, the man is on you before you can skitter away, expression tensing as he drives a shot down against your stomach. You twist to take the brunt against your hip bone, protecting your organs and your ribs. There was a searing, thundering pain along your side on contact. His fists might be wrapped, but it takes none of the severity from his strikes. You take this chance through the pain and trap his arm, pulling Erwin down with a grunt. He’s heavier than he looks. "Nng!!"

Valiant effort. You were about to pull him under yourself but he switches it and holds you down instead, restraining your body with his own. Your teeth are bared. He’s keeping you subdued, merely waiting until the fight goes out of you. “Give in.” He says simply.

You’re seriously considering headbutting him, it'd be the only move you have left. Admittedly it's also a bad idea. You both agreed to avoid the face, so…you do, pressuring enough strength into your back and shoulders to raise yourself a few inches high enough in his hold, then whip your head to collide against the side of his blonde head in a dizzying blow that immediately made you want to throw up. Your concussion from the other day was going to be so much worse after this, you knew it.

“Fuck!” Erwin snarls in a way you’ve never heard before, but that shot did the trick. You broke the remainder of his hold and shoot away as he instinctively touched the side of his head to check for blood. There is none. He restrains a laugh in his chest. Well, technically you didn’t hit his _face_, he got that much. 

“Alright,” He growls, circling around. “If _that’s_ how you want to play...” 

You don’t know why, but for some reason, your stomach plunges in dread. Did something disengage in him? Why the switch? The calculated calm always masking his face was _gone_. In place of that, what you see is that deep well of rage he keeps so wonderfully controlled. Fortunately, this man didn’t let that darkness take the helm. He wields it like the weapon it is. 

One moment you’re circling one another, he is not letting you find his blind spot or attack with your stronger side. Erwin is waiting for an opening, fists up, prepared to spring. You’re keeping him enough at distance, but you can strike him with your legs, aiming for his knee. He nearly catches your ankle in hand, but you’ve swung back…he charges, pins your arms to your sides and locks his hands behind your back in a crushing hold.

You strain to break his bind, but he holds fast. At this proximity his scent fills your head. Mostly you’re getting notes of aftershave, leather, a tinge of sweat. Your muscles burn. He is constricting you too tight. You can’t get loose. 

Dirty trick time. 

Remembering the terms of the fight; you burrow further into his grasp. There’s a second where you think your lungs will pop, but you persevere and push your face below his shoulder in order to sink your teeth, breaking skin and tasting his blood. “AHH--!” He lets go and steps back, wide eyed and touching his collarbone. You are watching him with crimson smeared on your lower lip and a little on your chin. “HAH…ahh,” You suck in a breath. “You _did_ say first blood, Erwin.”

He knew he shouldn’t be this appalled. But you got him good on that much, choosing to win on a technicality. Erwin watched your tongue curl around your lips, slicking his blood away and eyeing him with that feral glint he remembered first seeing outside of Vanaheim. “Don’t give me that look.” You say, running your tongue around your teeth. “Victory, no matter the cost. I know who you are; you’d sacrifice every last fucking one of us if it put an end to the titans, though you’d prefer not having to. I’m okay with that. But if this world couldn't chew me up and spit me out, you won't fare any better, Erwin Smith.”

There you are. _That_ is the bitch he knew.

“I knew there was something clever about you.” He thought to say with a smirk, dropping his hand. The bite was fortunately not so bad, you only broke skin along the bone. His bleeding was minor. “But you are not wrong. It is my duty to see an end to this war.”

“Why don’t I see what I can do to help lessen the casualties at least? You might want a few friendly faces left to celebrate with when the last bastard falls.” You pulled your posture together. “Now realistically, you were trying _not_ to kill me. I get that. Feel like beating the shit out of a bag instead? I can tell you’re still ready to wreak some havoc.”

He agrees, relieved. Erwin wasn’t sure he could restrain himself much further from breaking your bones. You aren’t Miche. Miche can take a severe beating and keep getting back up. Your own strength wasn’t enough for a real-deal sort of grapple, so you now chose to help in a more preferable way. You went over and stood behind the heavy bag hanging from the ceiling. Normally a person wouldn’t need to hold it, but he has a lot of anger to vent. It’s easier to whale on a bag when it’s kept stationary, so that’s what you did. “Right. Don’t hold back. I mean it.”

“Then don’t blame me if you get knocked DOWN!” He was raring to go alright, already bludgeoning one fist after another into the bag’s surface at the tail end of his sentence. You felt the impacts. Erwin certainly didn’t hit you _nearly_ as hard before. You hate the generalized belief that men are stronger than women, but realistically, your arms aren’t as large as his. You can pound metal all day, sure, but you aren’t going to build that kind of muscle mass.  
Keeping it still for him proved to be more trouble than you believed. You felt like you had a tree between your body a freaking grizzly bear. When Erwin realized you’re still standing, feet planted and watching around the edge; he finally cuts loose with an enraged roar, strikes coming far quicker and harder. "RAAAAAAAAAAH--!!!!" You straightened up, holding tight and bracing your weight into the mat. The bag would be swinging around by now if you let it go. He started to ram knee shots into its side here and there, the first one so hard he nearly flung the bag out of your grasp.

You hang on, eyes wide behind its shadow. _’FUCK, this guy has some rage.’_

Why is that hot? 

No seriously, why? His display of strength and anger was borderline arousing. You always liked well-built men. Erwin would pummel this heavy bag until a light hissing noise assailed your ears, and you saw that it split.

_’He **broke** it…?’_

His panting was filling your ears. Erwin reached up and pulled the bag down off its hook, coming down off his furor and eyeing the mess of sawdust poured from a broken seam. You were staring at him when he dropped it, turned, and headed towards where a few chairs were stacked atop one another. He grasped one, pivoted, and planted it by the cabinet so he could sit down. You approached, watching him unbuckle the strap across his chest so he could more easily remove his dampened shirt, which had a bloodstain anyway. He used a dry part to pat his face. When he lowered it you were right there, blinking down into his eyes. “Going to be alright? Was that enough?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” Erwin’s answer is clipped. His gaze searches over you, noting how close you brought yourself. There was something appealing right now, he wasn’t sure what…the same animal magnetism as before, possibly. He works on unwrapping his hands, one of the bandages sullied with spots of his own blood.

You remove your own as well; after which you move behind him, placing your hands on his shoulders, beginning to knead muscle. He closes azure eyes as he finishes unrolling fabric, willing his heartbeat to resume its average rhythm. “Does _anyone_ bother to deal with you?” You question, shifting your hands further down his back. Erwin looks out for his soldiers, but nobody approaches to look after him. This is the same observation as before, it hasn’t changed. You decided that a rub-down will help alleviate post-workout soreness after he went buck wild.  


Erwin is past lacing his composure up tight and making himself an impassable wall. You’ve seen too much already. 

_“You_ do.” He points out lazily, expression twitching as he faced away. WALLS, why did he feel like this? Why did you sound so irritated?

Wait…irritated?  
…oh.  
OH.

No wonder why he felt like ripping your clothes off right now, what stood in the way is his sense of self control. Though there is nothing like a damn good fuck after a fight, he was not about to succumb to baser urges. On a related note, Miche did remark once that sometimes his sense of smell is awfully sharp. When Erwin looked over his shoulder and you were focusing on your work, he caught sight of your enlarged pupils. _Oh_ yeah. He knew for sure now. You are still attracted to him, after he made himself primarily unavailable. He knows body language. Reading others is part of his job.

You noticed him watching over one broad shoulder for a moment, raising your chin in time for him to look back ahead. “Problem, Erwin?”

“I was going to ask the same. You are still agitated.”

“Of course, I am agitated with myself for blustering as I did. I would’ve lost if I didn’t draw blood.” He’s sliding down off his adrenaline high, lowering his head and closing his eyes thoughtfully with his elbows seated on his knees as your hands worked out the tension further down his back. _’She won’t admit it.’_ He wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t admit that the urge to throw you down on the mats again wasn’t passing, that his pants were getting slightly constricting, that you smelled _entirely_ too appetizing right now. Hange would also blame it on testosterone. She is full of fun reasons for literally everything a body does involuntarily.

“For what it’s worth, you talk a good game.”  
“Hah! Well, there are worse people to lose to.” You bear down on a knot. He sucks in a breath, crumpling fabric between his hands. “I’m more in my element with ODMG.”

“In our line of work, that is far more important.” Erwin points out. He rolls his neck and shoulders, popping a few bones. Your fingers glide up his spine to his neck and you begin massaging there one last time. You see the passing shiver ripple beneath his skin. He’s been rather touch-starved. You have become aware of this since staying on base. “I’m serious about what I said, you know. You’re a person too.”

“Haz, intelligent as you are, you fail to understand the reality of leadership. Most will never see me as a human being.”  
“You mean they see you only as a title?” You ask.  
“More or less.”  
“That makes sense.” You let your hands off his perfectly toned back. He sat back in the chair and looked up from where you stepped to his side to chat. “I don’t know, maybe I’m insane. But I look into these eyes of yours and I see a friend, not a title. Sorry if that’s disappointing, I’m sure you spend plenty of time making yourself appear as a force of nature.”

His Adam's Apple flicked when he swallowed, listening. Erwin realized right then: if you planted him in the ‘friend’ category, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself _or_ you. 

Which is about when he straightened up, put a hand in the small of your back, guided you down onto his lap and kissed you. 

This was a shocking development. You didn’t know what was happening until it happened—scratch that, when he kissed you, of course you knew that much. But the why of it was baffling. You filed this man in the, ‘we’re never going to work together’ category when you sensed how unavailable he was. Now he’s kissing you; firm then softly, tip of the tongue catching your upper lip. You let him in and he explores, running past your teeth and tasting the vestiges of his own coppery blood. 

You’ve closed your eyes and turned more towards him, a warm fluttery feeling filling you up. He was…_gentle_. Nothing like Levi was the other night. What’s more, how was it that this is happening? Not too much tongue, just enough…his mouth practically danced against your own, the ideal amount of pressure with rare little nips that sent you into a daze. The technique alone was perfect. But those arms wound around your waist, one warm hand smoothing up and down your back between the harness straps…you had no clue what to do but kiss back and hold on.

Your mouths parted. He lightly leaned his forehead to your own, eyes closed and noses touching. His breath dusted over your skin, and yours over his. You tilted your head and brought your lips to his again, placing a chaste kiss. He responds, a hand now covering the back of your neck. You were flushed. His eyelids drift open and ice blue absorbs your features, his own pupils blown wide as well, foreheads again touching. 

Completely breathless. This man is _beautiful_. Why are the beautiful ones always so damaged inside? How come one was harsh and the other is kind? They couldn’t be more different. You didn’t anticipate _any_ of this would happen until it did.

The silence feels holy. Neither of you want to sully it with words.

You look into one another, seeing questions forming. Actions are sufficient to answer them. _’Are we doing this?’_ As though knowing, he removes his hand from the back of your exposed neck and places it under your jaw, turning your head slightly to linger a feather-light kiss on your purpled bruise. Erwin turns his face close and inhales in your hair above your ear. You dip your head to kiss the bite-mark on his collarbone in turn, then put your arms around his shoulders in a hug. His engulf your form again at the same moment, pressing you gently into his torso and burrowing his face into your shoulder. 

You may not be some weak, dizzy broad in a harlequin romance…but right now, you felt lighter than air.


	15. Cruel To Be Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are moments where it is kinder to be cruel. They may never understand, but then, they don't have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Awaaah warm fuzzies. X3 Don’t worry, now. I have promised that you would be in over your head in the tags, and I meant that. 
> 
> Obligatory Reminder: As previously stated, this is a what-if story with an actual plot, sex sometimes happens, otherwise it’s very much after-the-fact and. Certain things will happen as with canon, whereas others will be altered. One thing is for sure, not every character is getting out of this unscathed. It is going to get very, VERY dark at times, as is true to the anime, though I will continue to pop some levity in there so it doesn’t feel like such drudgery.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
You strangled me like an addiction  
You captured me like an affliction  
And I will be nimble and I will be quick  
I will overcome all of this  
The shadows are falling, they're falling, they're falling around me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid)  
The wolves are closing, they're closing, they're closing in on me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid)  
The shadows are falling, they're falling, they're falling around me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid)  
The wolves are closing, they're closing, they're closing in on me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid, I'm not afraid)  
There are monsters outside and they're waiting  
There are vultures in line salivating  
And though it is dark in the dead of night  
I never go down without a fight  
The shadows are falling, they're falling, they're falling around me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid)  
The wolves are closing, they're closing, they're closing in on me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid, I'm not afraid)  
The shadows are falling, they're falling, they're falling around me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid, I'm not afraid)  
The wolves are closing, they're closing, they're closing in on me  
(I'm not afraid, not afraid)  
Everything changes when the sun goes down…  
\- ‘I’m Not Afraid’- Tommee Profitt feat. Wondra.

Cruel to be Kind

It was a gorgeous night. The sky is midnight silk, interrupted only by glittering starlight and a supermoon so tremendous and golden it could have been mistaken for a second sun. Yes, this evening was a _perfect_ opportunity to go out for a ride.

Which is exactly why Eren Yeager was leading Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Ymir, Sasha, Connie and Christa out across the fields by horseback, weaving through trees so their lanterns would break from line of sight. Once far enough away from the castle, their patience would be rewarded after a half-hour ride through softly rolling hills. Cradled down between a few and heavily forested in a crescent along one side is a place called ‘Quill Hollow’. This area is named as such because it had once been a place frequented by hunters for the waterfowl, wild turkeys and pheasants. Many a quill was made from the plumage hunted out here. There are far fewer birds here in the past decade, as though they learned it was a kill zone and wisely flew clear.

But it is also a fantastic place to fish since there are less birds now, and a wonderful spot to take a dip. The cadets dismounted and shucked off the majority of their clothing in favor of things they didn’t mind getting wet.

“HAAAAAA---!!” SPLOOSH!!

Eren was first to push Armin into the water from where he was peeping down into the lake’s tranquil surface from his perch on a rocky outcropping, lantern seated beside him. Arlert splashed up and blew water out of his nose, wiped his eyes and glared up at Eren in the pool of light. “No fair, Eren!”

Yeager laughed. This was the first time in two days Armin broke his solemnity. 

“How’s the water?” He called down, only to be rear-ended by Connie. “WHAA!” They both dropped like stones, showering poor Armin in another wave. 

“DAMN IT Connie!” Eren spat upon resurfacing and ducked when Jean took a running leap in his underwear. “CANNONBAAAALL!!!!”

SPLOOOOSH!!!

The girls were stepping in along a shallow side, with Christa whimpering. “I really don’t know if this was such a good idea…”

“Oh come on, don’t be a spoil sport!” Jean cried, waving them over. “Get yourselves in here!”

“I really—EEEE!” She squealed as Ymir grabbed Christa’s petite body into her arms and plowed through into the water, with Sasha pointing and laughing as Mikasa was already wading in.

_Earlier, With You…_

Irritable sigh. This was _meant_ to be a relaxed night.

Kitchen duty took way longer than anticipated when a private named Kendrick toppled the clean things over right in front of the cook, who demanded that the whole lot be scrubbed again since the floor had yet to be washed.

Naturally, no one gets to go until the work is done, so you were leaving the kitchen with prune hands and an attitude, navigating the inky darkness of the halls towards your room. You planned to visit Erwin but didn’t want to do so in damp, smelly clothes---then right after you changed and placed yourself outside the closed door, there was shuffling in the hall. You froze, putting your back against wood, and strained your ears. Familiar whispers, voices attempting not to be heard accompanied by subtle footsteps.

The cadets.

You turned and went straight to Levi’s door at the end of the hall once they passed the mouth of the corridor. Upon the approach you heard muted voices talking accompanied by a light clink of china; occasionally, the team lands in his office for tea as Levi wraps up his paperwork for the eve. You pushed the door open and eyed them purposefully, the already-dull volume of the room faltering.

“What’s wrong?” Gunther asked, being closest to the door. You motioned with your head. “Kids are headed out.”

Having heard the situation earlier, they knew what that meant. 

Hence why you are currently perched on a tree branch in the shadows, sharing a branch with Oluo. Eld and Levi were in another tree. The four of you were full armed and further camouflaged in those rich green cloaks, crouched down so no light would reflect off your scabbards. You had your legs hanging in space. The cadets were goofing around in the water, having a perfectly fantastic time.

You watched through a scope as Mikasa sat on Eren’s shoulders and Sasha was on Jean’s, they appeared to be trying to knock one another off. “What the actual fuck are these kids doing?” You muttered, adjusting the scope to get a closer gander. 

“It’s called ‘Chicken’.” Oluo responds, doing the same with his own spyglass. The group is keeping their voices regulated. Levi and Eld have been conversing in low tones also, though the cadets would never hear anything from this distance. You watched Christa clamber up on Armin’s shoulders and Ymir appear to argue with Connie about doing the same—you could barely lipread with the full-on moonlight through the lens. Oluo was laughing to himself. “She wants the runt to get on _her_ shoulders, hahah…”

“Oh yeah, because _every_ self-respecting female wants a cock jabbed into her neck.” 

“See, I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. Because if you are, I can speak for the entire male populace when I say, ‘we’d be okay with that’.”  
“Don’t you have a tongue to bite?”  
“Depends, are you offering?”  
“Offering what, to bite your tongue off?”  


“Never mind.” Oluo considered you _so_ backwoods, it struck him that you might not know how to kiss with tongue in the first place. “Been years since I was down here.” He remarks idly, scanning left and right.  


“If you ask Petra sweet-like she might come down with you, Oluo. It’s likely the only way you’ll see her in her underwear.”  
“Tch, I’m amazed you even know what underwear _is_, you filthy savage.”  
“Know what Oluo, it never fails. I start getting used to you, and then you go and say shit like _that_.”

His only response is to smirk, continuing to spectate. 

_Cadets POV…_

Their game of Chicken moved towards less of a deep area so Connie and Armin wouldn’t drown when the girls were upon their shoulders. Jean and Sasha were playing dirty, Mikasa was getting angry at them, and Christa was giggling high-pitched like a fool. There should’ve been one more person to officiate, but nobody cared about playing it properly.

Their laughter, squeals, shouts and screams filled the night, bathed in buttery moonlight and splashing about rigorously. The cadets spent a good two hours being carefree, coming up with new games to play. Mikasa was soon a bit tired of their silliness and reclined on one of the towels they pilfered from laundry, gazing up at the moon from the grass. Eren slumped down next to her after unrolling his own towel. “Haven’t seen a moon like this since I was a kid.” He remarked to her, watching up into the sky. 

“I haven’t seen one before now.”

“Armin says that astronomers call it a ‘supermoon’.” Eren said, turning and seeing its round gleam in Mikasa’s skyward gaze. With such light cast down upon them, she seemed ethereal with her pale complexion. He didn’t see her off her guard so much anymore. This was the most relaxed any of them have been since before the Shiganshina disaster. 

“I heard him explain, remember?” 

“Yeah.” Eren was discouraged by how closed off she was. It’s as though her whole focus was on what’s above, not who is beside her. Jean insisted that Eren approach her and make some type of move, that’s also why Ymir talked Christa into coming along. There’s no denying he felt strongly about Mikasa, Eren just wasn’t positive it was the kind of relationship he wanted with her. They grew up together. By every right, he should see her more as a sister. But he has seen how her body filled out, and he couldn’t deny that he liked what he saw.

Eren turned his face away and stared into the moon-bathed hillside, wanting to collect his wits before saying anything particularly stupid.

“EEEEEK!!!!”  
“RUN!!! CHRISTA, GET OUT OF HERE!!!”

Mikasa lurched up before Eren did, stomach dropping. Hulking shapes loomed out of the night, three booming down from over the top of a hill and five more coming from within the edge of the woods.

Then there was the sound of ODMG cables, and four blurs shoot by overhead.

_Your POV…_

They weren’t anticipated, those titans. The purpose of Levi Squad being out here was to watch Eren in case somebody did a dumb thing to trigger his titan form, like pushing him into the lake and causing him to skin his ankle. Or drowning, even. He popped a titan arm change by _picking up a fucking spoon_, this meant nothing was beyond imagining with regards to that.  


About forty-five minutes in, the four of you were basically hanging out and chattering among yourselves, not really watching them since it felt as though you guys came after them for no reason. When Levi was beginning to decide that it’d make more sense for Eld, Oluo and yourself to head back (“I’m not tired. You three should sleep.”), the titans made their appearance.

“Tch…you two, get those ones on the hill. Eld, with me.” 

“SIR!!!” Spoken in unison and flying out exactly the same way, Levi Squad mobilized in a blink. You saw Mikasa and Eren racing below as you and Oluo flew overhead. You both anchored to a tree by the lake for a kickoff point and he hooked left. You went right, and each having picked a titan. The cadet’s screams below were static to your ears. Eren can’t be permitted to shapeshift right now. His hand was halfway to his mouth when he saw that they were covered, and Mikasa put a hand on his wrist, lowering it.

Your target was a 12-meter, a thing that had a mop of brown hair knotted atop his head and bulging hazel eyes. Oluo’s was a highly disfigured 14-meter, which he effortlessly dispatched with one pass over the back of the nape. You followed suit, crossing by your titan’s neck and carving your blades around the nape, sending the chunk of meat flying with a gush of blood that splattered your legs as you passed. You could feel the burning liquid through your boots but didn’t care, it’s a sensation you’re accustomed to.

A few more titans were attracted by the noise, behemoths who Connie was staring at in abject horror from where he stood in ankle-high water. Armin grabbed his shoulder and dug his fingers in, pulling desperately. “Connie---CONNIE! Come _on!!”_

He doesn’t budge. The one barreling for him is slowing, a hand reaching out. 

_’That birth mark…’_

Twin green and silver blurs flash by in a scissor attack. Eld cuts the top part of the nape, Oluo got the bottom. The beast crumples like a wet paper bag, his red ichor oozing out into the lake and creating weightless crimson tendrils around Connie’s bare ankles in the moonlight. Armin begins to inch away at the feeling of warmth in cool water, then resumes his attack on Connie’s shoulders, both developing fingerprint bruises. “We need to move! CONNIE!!!” 

Another one is coming.

_’I don’t…I don’t understand…’_ Connie doesn’t budge, numb to the throbbing of hands around his shoulders. Armin turns when he feels impact tremors and seizes into a shudder at the jaw gaping open in front of him a body length away.

“NO YOU DON’T, BITCH!” You roar, instinctively flinging right through that mouth and out the other side, causing a geyser of gore to erupt out the back of his throat. Armin managed to catch some splash-back and continues to stand rigidly in place, now back to back with Connie, unable to budge but for the fearful rattling of his bones. He reaches up and smears a fleck of smoking meat off his cheek, watching it smolder away into nothing.

“MOVE!” Levi howls at them, zinging by and tilting into his trademark spin, tearing through two more like a ripsaw. You are in his wake, hooking into another gape-mouthed freak as it shambles from behind a tree, attracted by the noise. You swing up its side, leaving smoking red trenches in your wake, shear off the arm above your head, traverse the shoulder and gouge out that nape. The titan falls, you remain as the corpse slumps hard to the ground, anchored tight to its dying flesh while surveying for another target. Having found one, you spring away, falling in at the tail of the formation that seamlessly materialized over the lake, slicing through the air to the last monstrosity. 

A few concise words from Levi, and the squad converges on assigned targets. Eld and Oluo each guillotine off an arm in fluid motions. You blaze by the backs of the 18-meter’s knees, taking both out in one beautifully executed strike. 

Levi spins his swords through the monstrosity’s neck, effortlessly finishing the battle. The company of four coasts around and pulls back into a neat diamond formation, landing on the lake shore with Levi at the point. He storms forward. Eren has the notion to stagger backwards but he can’t, rooted to the spot as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier marches right up to him and pins him with the iciest glare he’s ever received. _‘Go ahead. Make your idiot excuses’_, his expression seems to say. You turn from the end of the group and walk over to Armin and Connie, boots sloshing in stained lake water. Ripples bump and reflect off the eroding titan corpses on either side of them. As more of their blood has run into the water, steam is wafting up as though the shallows spontaneously became a pink-red hot spring. You sheathe. “Hey,” You say. “Wake up. We might not be safe for long.”

No reaction.

You lean to wave a hand over Connie’s face, then Armin’s. He returns to life and grabs onto your waist for dear life, pushing his face into your shoulder with a dry sob. You sigh and place both arms around him, patting the teen’s damp back. “Got a death wish, kiddo?”

“No…Walls, no.” He was trying valiantly not to cry, but you caught the sniffle at the end of his sentence. 

“Oy!” Levi turns and shouts. “Keep watch while these brats get their shit together. More titans could be on the way. Arlert, Springer! Get those asses moving already!” 

“Sir yes sir!” You detach from Armin and anchor to one of the trees by the lake, gliding up to seat your boots against its bark and keep a clear vantage point and use your scope to scan around. “Already three more I can see, quite far off!” You called down.

“Keep us posted!” Eld shouted back. He and Oluo have positioned themselves as well, also checking around with their scopes, but seeing nothing noteworthy. 

With Levi keeping the teens under his baleful stare, they got themselves together in record time and shortly the whole bunch would be on horseback. Levi took point, Eld was on the left side of the group, Oluo was on the right. You brought up the rear again, completing the formation that encapsulated the 104th Cadets, all of whom are totally unarmed and fortunately, _unharmed_. To be fair, there have been no titan attacks inside Wall Rose, but this incident shook your already weak faith in that towering structure. If it can’t keep these freaks out, what good does it do? 

The ride back was uncomfortably silent, with each teen knowing they were about to get reamed hardcore for this stunt of theirs. You watched their backs from over Umber’s head, quite aware that this incident would undoubtedly mean there must be a night watch from now on. It’s what was done outside the walls. If a lake full of screaming teens attracted titans, then the base with training in full swing during the day would bring them in like moths to a flame. This begs the question, ‘why now’? Why did this not happen sooner?

Upon reaching the castle and stabling the horses, you were marching the solemn cadets right up. Right now, it is hard to refute the notion that if you didn’t overhear them, that situation could’ve become highly bloody indeed. Without protection Eren would’ve morphed to guard his friends. Whether or not he’d be able to thoroughly control his titan in the moment would remain unseen. Luckily, that didn’t happen.

This still leaves an ill taste in your mouth, knowing that it was you who overheard it and you who caught them leaving. If they never trusted you again, as Levi surmised, you would _not_ blame them. 

Once inside, Levi rounded on them. Right now, it’s late. He’d been considering how to treat this incident, but given it’s such a big group and an interesting situation came to light, he’d need to consult with the Commander first. “Eld, Oluo, make sure these shitty little brats make it to bed. I would hate for them to miss any more _sleep.”_

There is a promise embedded in his words. They know this.

“Aaltonen, with me.” You automatically follow Levi and leave them behind, hearing Eld begin to shoo them towards their quarters. Once synchronizing with Levi’s stride, you ask. “Why do you need me, sir?”

“You’re the one who brought this fucking mess to my attention, so you’re also going to be there when I tell Commander Erwin.”

“Alright.” What more can be said? Hey, you _were_ planning to see Erwin tonight. But not like this. Levi is a source of negative tension right now. You honestly do not know how to deal with him, continuing to feel strange after your one-night stand with him. There is a silence which scorches worse than titan blood hanging thick, making every breath cumbersome to your imagination. The stone stairs up to the Commander’s rooms are cast in a diffuse, yellow-orange glow from torches every so many treads. You wonder who the hell walks around to light these things throughout the fortress. 

At the summit Erwin’s door is ajar, and Levi doesn’t bother knocking. The candles in his candelabras illuminate the center of his office and the paperwork he’s been ass-deep in for hours. He raises his head at the interruption to his quietude, knowing it’s bound to be one of few people. “Levi?” He immediately detects the broadening aura of tension suspended about the Captain, more so than is average. “What’s happened?”

“Normally I wouldn’t bother you at this hour, but we have a situation.”

The air around Erwin solidifies. He puts aside his paperwork, lending his full attention. You notice that his harness is unbuckled and hanging loose around his torso and his jacket was off, white sleeves creased and rolled to the elbow. “What is it?” His cool gaze passes over you, not changing in the least. You know he has an ideal poker face; the guy won’t flinch if he decides not to.

“Hazard here caught the 104th Cadets talking about going to the lake yesterday,” Levi says, sounding irked. “And caught them heading out after dinner. We followed them. About two hours in, they were attacked by titans.”

Perhaps he does deign to appear surprised, because his eyebrows raise slightly and those azure orbs of his widen. “Titans within Wall Rose?” Smith reflects Levi’s statement, as though double checking what he heard correctly. Levi nodded and looked at you. You nod once also and held up your spyglass, presently it was in compact form. “I saw more also. North-northwest in the foothills past Quill Hollow, sir. Two large, one small.”

“Levi, you never spoke to the cadets forbidding this?”

“No.” He caught how Erwin disapproved of this answer. You spoke up. “If I may, sir?”

“You may.”

“Captain Levi pointed out that as Eren Yeager was one of the cadets asking me not to speak a word of this, he may never trust me or any of us again if he felt his confidence was betrayed. Particularly after they’ve been recently caught drinking. I made no promises and was furthermore not aware of when the intended to go to this lake. Evidently, they feel as though everyone’s been on their case and wanted a break, sir.”

“That does not excuse that their actions could have gotten them killed.” Erwin refutes your statement rather mildly. The flickering candlelight plays shadow against the tone of his forearms as he folds them on his desk. You attempt to keep your gaze where it belongs. “However, I understand. In due fairness, there have been no titan sightings within Wall Rose until tonight. For what they knew, they were safe. I’d be hard pressed to pretend that everyone doesn’t engage in questionable activity time and time again.”

“I sent them to bed when we got back.” Levi said. “What do you want done with them tomorrow?”

“Hm. Though this incident has been its own punishment, I agree that we should drive the lesson home.” Erwin hummed. “I will leave disciplinary measures up to you, Levi, as your squad is the one responsible for Yeager. The others can share his punishment as they equally partook in this evening’s events.”

“There’s a whole wing that needs to be detailed…” Levi mused. You were suddenly feeling the urge to pipe up again. “Actually sir, cleaning is expected by them as a disciplinary action. I doubt it any longer holds significance to them as a punishment.”

“Fine then. What do YOU suggest, smartass?”

“Section Commander Hange.” You elaborate at the look you get from your Captain. “Cleaning a bathroom or the kitchen is a pedestrian task. But how about cleaning out the contents of a titan’s _belly?_ She has three in the Pit who she claims still need to have their stomachs excavated, and the other pair which she began keeping outside slated to be disposed of during our thermite experiment. Have these cadets learn how to shovel people soup out of a titan’s opened belly then haul the goop upstairs to dispose of it. I’d bet they’ll become rather obedient after that. Especially if they’re imagining that they could’ve had a more first-hand encounter resulting from foolish behavior.”

Erwin has arched an eyebrow again, and Levi smiled. Not _much_ mind you, but this very rare mouth-curve that’s barely there. “Yeah. That should work.” He looked at Erwin, who has no objections. As those titans in question are beyond any light source in the Pit, they will be unable to hurt anybody and are restrained to begin with. “Alright. Come on, Aaltonen. We’re going on watch for the night.”

“Actually Levi, I’d like to speak with her privately regarding this incident. I will send her out directly after.”

“Fine. Meet me up top.” He would leave, closing the door after himself out of habit. You turn and look at Erwin curiously, unsure if he actually did need to have a word. Turns out no, he approaches and pulls you into a kiss which you happily return, careful not to bump your gear into his legs when you wrap both arms around his waist. “That’s a cruel and unusual punishment, you know.” He murmurs and turns his head for another kiss. 

You speak between mouth contact. “Ever heard the expression ‘cruel to be kind’?”

“Mhm~” He kisses you again with a low acknowledgement, you can’t resist kissing him back. This is a brand-new thing you both have going on, and it is fully tempting to stay. He’s making it difficult for you not to succumb to that temptation even if it’s only for a cuddle, but you’re painfully aware that Levi _will_ come back in to make sure you didn’t go to bed.  


“You’re making it hard for me to go back out there.” You whisper, only for your mouth to again be occupied. “Mm—!” His responding laugh is a deep vibration in his chest, a thing you felt more than heard. Being the awful tease he evidently is, this last kiss is _so_ full of longing that it nearly drains every drop of strength from your legs. No one has kissed you in this way before. You had no idea what the hell to do with that notion, what it meant, if it _meant_ a damn thing to begin with.

“Alright. Go.”  


“First and only warning: don’t start things you can’t finish.” The blond watches you, amused. “I’d be perfectly happy to finish what I start. Need I remind that _you_ are the one going, not me?” He tilts his head, flirting with the line of ‘innocent’ and ‘coquettish’. He would not want to leave him either if he were you, but he at least gave you something to think about while you’re stuck on guard.

Instead of dignifying this with an answer, you leave, exasperated. What the actual fuck do you say to that? On the way down you saw Levi coming back in. “There you are, brat.” He grunted. “The fuck was that about, anyway?”

“Commander Erwin wanted to talk to me about this uh…how’d he put it? ‘Cruel and unusual’ punishment.” You rolled your eyes and walked outside with Levi, closing the doors after stepping back into the night. “And?”

“And nothing, he wanted to hear my reasoning.”

“Makes two of us. You’ve been soft on those kids, out of nowhere you come out with _that_.” Levi is walking down the stone ramp with you keeping up, staring ahead at the road winding past the trees. A breeze rustles a trillion leaves and your hair. Levi watches out the corner of his eye. With the golden supermoon vibrant above, at this angle you have stars in your hair and a glow from within. This is the first time he has seen you in cast in such a light.

“Cruel to be kind. I’d rather us be hard on them for their own good. Hopefully, it straightens their asses out enough for them to stop with this ‘sneaking behind our backs’ business, not that I’ve got much experience with kids. Could as likely backfire.”

“Well if Hange can use them, I say let her. ” Levi responds calmly, his expression back to its usual noncommittal mask. “Though I’m not happy you won’t be available for training tomorrow. I hear you’ve been told about D-Day?”

“Yes, over breakfast. Unless something fucks up, the experiment should be fast. There’s only two titans she intends to use, and there’s only so many things we can do with the proposed subject.” You reach up and remove your hair tie, smoothing your tresses back across your scalp into a ponytail again. “Are we staying up all night, Captain?”

“Yeah. Just us four.” He said boredly, watching you fix your hair. As your neck was again exposed, his gunmetal greys skim across to be certain he left no fingerprints. You catch him looking as you fumble with your locks. “Checking for evidence?”

A twitch below his eye. He is stuck recalling the dream. “That was shitty of you, leaving like that.”

“Didn’t take you for a post-fuck cuddler, Levi, _that_ would form an attachment. You made it pretty clear why I was there.”

“…” He sees your arms drop, remembering for a split second when they were together above your head; how he used his harness to restrain _you_ after he got free from you doing the same to him. The sexual tension is piquing again, right when he believed you were out of his system.

Nope. Not so fortunate. 

“Why’s it bother you, anyway? You didn’t say anything yesterday.” To think this guy might not be the sort who can screw a person and leave was astonishing, given his treatment of the situation. “I thought the whole purpose was so we’d have done with one another.”

“Well I was wrong.” He snapped lowly. Eld and Oluo are posted on the other side, he knew no one else was meant to be out here at this hour. This is as alone as you’d both get. “This shit doesn’t just go away.”

You have turned to affix him with an incredulous stare. Is he serious with this? You _just_ began here with Erwin, thinking you were in the clear, and now…what IS he saying? “Okay, how about this. When you figure out what you need to say and how to say it, I’ll be on the roof—” He caught your nearest wrist as both hands went for your triggers. Levi turns more towards you, looking up into your eyes purposefully. “I didn’t anticipate any of this. Neither did you, Haz. But we were screwing with one another since day two, and here we are now. There’s no harm and seeing where this leads as long as we keep it between us.”

He used your nickname. You couldn’t recall if this was a first, but it feels as though it is. Your jaw is ajar.

“I…”

“You _what?_” You snaps, but there is no heat in his question. Only the lash of impatience. You do your best to keep some kind of veil between his probing gaze and what you’re actually feeling. You couldn’t let on about what happened with Erwin, not unlike how you couldn’t tell Erwin what happened with Levi. Both situations are highly personal.

“Levi, I’m unsure if you’re expecting some favorable answer immediately, but I really don’t know what to think other than ‘we aren’t very good together’. You try to push me around, I push back, it seems more like a recipe for disaster.”

“That’s up to _both_ people to decide.” He vents air through his nose, turning his face away. This is a bad idea, he agreed, but for the first time in awhile he wanted to spite that voice in the back of his soul that says, _‘Levi, you’re never going to deserve anybody, you shit brick’._ You were the one female neither in awe of his talents nor terrified of him. He has seen you exhibit kindness yet are also able to protect yourself and others. You can be entertaining. You challenge him. You had such fire in you, and for once…Levi Ackerman was going to let himself be a moth drawn by that light.

“I was wrong to have pushed you like that.” Levi finally admits guiltily, dropping his pitch so he’s nearly inaudible. “This would be less of a problem if I hadn’t.”

“Yes and no.” He blinks up at your response. “I was as much in the wrong. I could have walked away, but I let myself be pulled in. At first, I told myself that I could refuse you and tell Commander Erwin if things came to that. It is possible you might’ve made my life a living hell, and I didn’t want to be shoved around because we disagreed. However…we _did_ get under one another’s skin. I wanted you too.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m confused. I have no idea what to think.” You admit simply. Levi sympathizes. He’s in exactly the same boat, more or less. He wants to kiss you but withholds, instead voicing the following: “I’m not asking you to be mine only. That’s selfish in a world where we can die any day. I’m only asking you not to shut me out.”

This is more agreeable. “Alright Levi. I won’t if you don’t.” 

He reaches up, pats your head, and ziplines away.  
You stare after him, totally confused. He fucked you, now he pets you. You felt like a dog. 

Sighing, you fly after him to the roof, taking this to believe your heart-to-heart is done for now. You’re not much clearer on things than you were before, but if he pursues a relationship and it gets too troublesome, you could pull the plug. 

You do not know _how_ dangerous a game you’re about to become engaged in.


	16. Unforeseen Elements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is troublesome to plan for what you don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: owo I am amused. How are we feeling about Levi patting us on the head? Sound off below! <3
> 
> As I was writing the Levi segment, ‘Sucker for Pain’ started playing HAHA 
> 
> _’I’m a slave to your games…I’m just a sucker for pain, I wanna chain you up, I wanna tie you down…’_ I promise promise PROMISE I’ll cut the shit with the cliché harness bondage. Unless you all genuinely like that. Please sound off below. 
> 
> Also pertaining to Levi Squad as a whole: _’Walk slow the fire, like who gon’ try us?....Feeling the world go against us, So we put the world on our shoulders….. I been at it with my homies…. I been rollin' with my team, we the illest on the scene…I been riding 'round the city with my squad~’_
> 
> Know what, just go read the lyrics. XD It’s too many to post here.
> 
> CLARIFICATION: I had to go back and fix the part about Reader-chan arriving in Trost in the beginning. That can’t have happened, I meant to find the name of the town off to the side of it, that would be Calaneth. Eren did already seal the gate. So I will be periodically editing that wrinkle out of chapters if anybody cares to know for continuity purposes.

Unforeseen Elements

Being on watch?  
_Drudgery._ If anybody says otherwise, they are lying to themselves AND you.

Titans weren’t attracted to the fortress in the silence of the night, but Levi Squad stayed up to make sure they didn’t change their pea-sized minds about that. Since it’s only a four-person crew keeping watch, everybody was spread apart and relatively stationary atop the fortress. Levi would roam in between once an hour to make sure Eld, Oluo and yourself didn’t fall asleep on duty; also probably to make sure all is silent on the front.

You didn’t think you could sleep if you wanted to. At this point, you’re realizing you allowed yourself to be lulled by the notion of enormous walls between yourself and the wilds, and it’s a gut-contorting thought. Now the old tension suspended itself throughout your body like a spider re-weaving her broken web. You paced a portion of roofing restlessly from the sensation, attempting to stem the negative thoughts filling spaces between positive ones by roaming about and staying vigilant. You saw when Levi perched himself on the central, largest section and could see the three of you at once. He hasn’t had to physically come down and check on you in a bit since he could see where you are, shifting around near constantly. You’ve made a little patrol path from one end to the other. When your legs grew weary of walking around on slanted roofing, you hopped up onto one of the turrets sitting below elevation of the main roofline, where it was flat atop and easier to stand. Eld and Oluo were completely obscured from your vision at this angle, off on turrets of their own and keeping vigil. 

Here and there you heard Levi exiting his vantage point, the _‘zuzzzz’_ of wires singing through dawn as he practically landed on Oluo for nodding off and gave him what-for. Otherwise known as a ‘brain duster’. You didn't see that happen, but you heard a faint surprised outcry from that direction. Then all was disturbingly tranquil again, and you yearned for a distraction. 

As such, it isn’t frequent that you’ve had an urge to watch a sunrise. But once it popped over the horizon and began its ascent, you stilled again and sat down on the edge, hanging your legs over and kicking them in space. Levi was back up on his rooftop, but he caught when you flopped down. He’d been wondering when you’d cave and sit. He'd been standing the whole while himself, chiding himself that he might not have the wherewithal to get his ass back up if he sat. The Captain turned his face towards a puff of breeze, bringing along with it the scent of humidity and the promise of a nasty, sticky day. He turned and checked on Eld and Oluo, noted you have stayed put, and resumed watching the sunrise himself.

You are also regarding the world as it stirs. 

_’Pretty.’_ You thought, seeing the horizon fill with a gradient of gold to midnight blue, then gradually orange. The moon faded away. Your legs stopped swinging and you stared out, seeing warm rays draw a vast shadow across the vista spreading below the castle, pulling the darkness back like a curtain until it wrinkled below Wall Rose’s height. Doors had been opening below, some windows as well, people waking up and going about their business. You turned to squint directly towards Levi. He wasn’t coming down yet. You took this to mean watch isn’t over.

You don’t know how much longer it’d be, but eventually others are heading down to the equipment shed and coming up. A man with a crew-cut and a scar splitting his face anchored and landed on one of the window ledges below you. You looked down at him from between your knees. Others were coming up after him. “Commander Erwin sent us to take over from here.”

A nod. You’d kick off from your seat, free-falling a little before anchoring and swinging down. Levi, Eld and Oluo are returning to terra firma also, collecting at the front. “We’re turning in our gear then we can eat.” Levi said to the group. 

“Sir.” At once, as usual. Everybody had that dead-eyed sort of stare accompanied by purple swatches below their lashes, even the Captain. You felt like a zombie, and so did they. Training followed by a battle then night watch without so much as a half hour nap is _not_ a laughing matter. This is going to be followed by a full day ahead, you could feel it in your bones.

Upon dropping gear off the group heads in to eat, and predictably the hall is practically empty. The majority of the base has been fed, after which relief guards were sent. But it turns out that the group won’t be eating what’s left at the end. It warmed your heart to see sweet little Petra there with food set out, and Gunther walking from the kitchen with a teapot in hand. “Perfect timing, guys. Sit down before your breakfast gets cold.” 

Bless them. Really. Bless them both. They’d eaten and found the group wasn’t arriving, received word about part of what happened from the Commander, and decided to make sure something was waiting when the team came back in. Gunther and Petra might be hardened veterans, but they both have softness in their eyes right now, attending to the four of you because they weren’t able to use gear with their wounds. They’d sit down when everyone had tea and talked. 

“The cadets were jumpy this morning.” Petra said, with an entertained sort of hint to her tone. “It was kind of adorable. They kept looking over here and then at the door.” 

“Probably waiting to get their asses handed to them.” Eld muttered harshly over his tea. “Would be no less than what they deserve after that crap last night.”

“What _happened_, anyway? You guys never returned after Haz said the cadets were sneaking out, and we were told by Commander Erwin that you were all were topside until after breakfast. Everyone is getting ready for drills now.”

“Titans.” Oluo said, providing no sufficient answers and looking positively ghastly from where the candlelight did not fully reach him in this corner. He moved his chair forward a bit, the scraping of wood on stone assailing your ears. His face emerged into the warm puddle of light, highlighting the bags under his narrow eyes and lines in his complexion that aren’t as prominent when properly rested.

Upon seeing Gunther and Petra’s confusion, you’ve chosen to elaborate where Oluo didn’t. “They went down to that quill-lake-whatever place, splashed around for a few hours, made plenty of noise. Right as Captain here was going to send us back, they came barreling out of the woods and from across the hills.” You chase this explanation with a bite of warm egg. Eggs are not normally on the menu. Seems the kitchen was ordered to make a nicer breakfast, possibly as an apology for the shit Team Levi just went through spur-of-the-moment. There’s also toast, diced potatoes browned in butter, and sliced apples with a dusting of cinnamon sugar. 

It was heaven. The protein would help keep you going.

“There will be an investigation.” Levi kept his voice low following that, hearing footsteps echoing throughout the kitchen followed by the clanging of pots and pans. “The Garrison Regiment should have known about and notified of a breach. They man every fucking inch of those walls. They’re the biggest regiment we have, there is _no_ fucking excuse for this shit.”

He is cross with them. You understand why but don’t share the same vitriol. “But Wall Rose is enormous, are they really able to watch the whole thing at all hours of the day? You have to account for human error somewhere down the line.”

“Officially they have the numbers. But they also function in a peacekeeping capacity in the outlying districts, like Trost for example.” Eld said. “Their job is to guard the walls, man the cannons, that stuff.”

“I’m not sure that I believe there’s a breach.” You told them, pouring more tea for yourself, then for Levi, who had finished his. He nodded once in appreciation. Not waiting to be encouraged, you just keep talking. This is what everyone else does. “Foooor…reasons I’m not going to highlight right now.” There were more noises from the kitchen, and you thought better of mentioning certain things. Topics discussed by this team are primarily not meant for the average soldier.

“Agreed. I think we’d hear it.” Petra reasoned. “When the Colossal broke the gates of Shiganshina, it was heard for miles. Survivors confirmed that the sound was deafening in the district itself. Some went deaf.”

“I’m still on how a thing that tremendous didn’t leave a _crater_ where it was standing, by all rights it should have been massively heavy. Titan bodies don’t follow the laws of nature.” Your statement was promptly chased by a groan. “Shit. Section Commander Hange wants that experiment done today.” Levi eyed you warily. He was aware of it, yes, he’d been considering the subject. Once you asked her to push it back because you were tired, truth is you lied. That evening was spent in Levi’s quarters. He had no interest in testing your accuracy with measuring out a volatile substance while he knows damn well how tired you are for _real_ today. 

“Tch…then tough shit for Hange. It’s getting postponed.”

“Sir, she’s been put off already, I doubt she’s going to take that laying down.”

“You’re not doing it today Aaltonen, that’s a direct order. A situation has arisen which supersedes her pet projects. I will talk to Shitty Glasses myself.” You open your mouth, think better of pursuing the issue; then close your mouth and nod once, signaling that you understood. Gunther frowned, brown eyes darting between you and Levi. Was he imagining things, or was the Captain being…_protective?_ Ah, perhaps it was nothing. The others didn’t appear to pick up on anything based on a cursory glance. “What is on the agenda then?” Eld asked Levi.

“A shower.” Levi deadpanned. “Then I will speak to the Commander about how to proceed. An investigation will need to be underway. That could mean we’re needed to babysit some Garrison grunts while they ride along the wall and check for breaches.”

“Can’t they just put horses up top and look down or something? They’d see light through the bottom.” Oluo grumbled dispassionately, sipping his tea and adopting what he believed mirrored Levi’s expression. He succeeded only in seeming mildly constipated.

As breakfast wound down and the group lingered to finish tea, brilliant bars of sunlight were finally slanting further into the mess hall from the windows across the corridor, touching the furthest wall. Everybody would bring dishes into the kitchen, then depart for the showers and are scheduled to report in the corridor outside the Commander’s office in an hour. 

You were happy to oblige. A shower sounded simply divine right now, so you went to grab a change of clothes. But as you were leaving your room with those, you noticed Levi heading into his office. He turned and looked over his shoulder, made eye contact, and motioned nearly imperceptibly for you to follow in.

Heeeere we go.

Having agreed to be open minded, you at least owed that much, so you went in after him with your clothing over an arm. “Wha—mmm?” He’d been right inside his quarters, turned and kissed soon as you opened your mouth. Not roughly, mind, which is more surprising. Actually, this was quite pleasant. You didn’t know he’d ever want to be less than demanding. “Levi?”

“I’ve been holding that in since last night.” He remarked coolly, gunmetal greys boring into your soul. “Come on. We have an hour.”

Suspicious. An hour for _what_? “I better be able to walk without pain before this hour is up, Shortcake.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” Though he’s smirking, knowing exactly what you said, and that it meant you’d been hurting the following day from prior activities whether you showed it or not. Also, ignoring that you called him ‘Shortcake’. 

“Didn’t stutter.” You drawled back, putting your clean clothes off to the side in the bathroom. You were surprised when he began running water for a bath. Levi struck you as the sort who doesn’t appreciate sitting in bath water, turns out you’re wrong. You know this because about fifteen minutes later, after good amount of kissing and stripping you are now sitting in there with him, back laid to his chest. Since Levi figured you thought poorly of him in the sensuality department, he decided to take this opportunity to prove he can be gentle if he wants. There are few things he finds more calming or therapeutic than getting clean, so, you got to experience that with him.

For now, it was merely lounging and small talk; letting heat soak your muscles, bodies distorted underneath the soap-clouded water. At some point Levi pushed his face into your neck and nibbled in such a way which tickled, and you were trying not to laugh loudly in case the others returned to their rooms for a nap during this hour break. You turn to catch his mouth, he ends up nomming your lower lip a little before sinking into a kiss, eyes closed. 

This was nice, he reflected. You’re coming to a similar conclusion and now lay on your hip in the water, wincing slightly at the pressure on your bruises, but concealing that with another kiss. You had a cloth and were running it across one of his legs, up and over his thigh. He made a low, contented sound into your mouth.

Experimenting, you continue to this treatment. His voice is kept muted, but he lets how he feels out, not unlike before. _’He’s kind of like a cat.’_ You want to giggle at this notion. Lean, sinewy, usually lands on his feet, kind of bitchy; sort of purrs when you groom him…_and_ fun to piss off. Levi is allowing himself to be vulnerable in your presence, though you have no doubt he’d turn the tables or simply drown you if he had to. He’s _savage_ not stupid.

“Did it really bother you that I didn’t stay after?” You asked quietly, resting your cheek on his shoulder. He had taken the cloth and was smoothing it over your collarbones, then down over your breasts, wiping yesterday away. “Yes.” He said after a second, continuing. “I didn’t think it would.”

“Me neither. Obviously.” You could see his face. His elegant features appeared tranquil. But then he was also looking at what he was doing, and you know how much Ackerman appreciates cleaning. You notice that he is studying the many marks adorning your flesh and would soon nudge you to sit up with your back facing him. He shifts the cloth over your back, wrist stilling as he takes in how many scars cover from your shoulders to your tailbone. He didn’t really pay attention to this before. Now, in the sunlight flooding this bathroom, he had a perfect sight.

It dawned upon him.  
_’She must have been tortured.’_

Either tortured or beaten severely. Perhaps both. Some of these scars…he didn’t entirely know what to think. They don’t come from titans, not like that, a titan physically can’t leave finer marks. He was astonished at how bad some must have been, with a dozen sunken slightly below skin deep. Now, Levi _infamously_ believes that nothing instills a lesson like pain, he made that statement at Eren’s court hearing. But this is miles beyond that. _This_ is cruelty. 

_This_ is the world we live in.

“Stroke me too slow and I’ll jump on you.” You joke quietly, waking Levi out of reverie. You turn and face him in the water, take the cloth, re-soap it, and rub over his chest in turn. He watches your expression as you do so, then pulls you in for a lingering kiss. The air carries the pleasant aroma of soap, a bit more herbal, with more masculine notes than the average stuff used in the women’s showers. You’ll smell like him for probably an hour or two today. 

You lean in and bring the sudsy cloth up over his shoulder, pressing close and washing his back. He rolls his tongue up the side of your neck to the edge of your ear, catching a water droplet from your hairline. He’d begin to mouth the ridge as you scrubbed his back, closing your eyes in the sensation of warmth lulling your body. It’d be so easy to dry off and lay down to sleep with him for the remainder of today…fuck everything else, nothing can be so important that it can’t be put off. He’s making it easy to gloss over remembering the agonies of your past when he was scrubbing them with the washcloth. You do not actually have _many_ insecurities beyond this one, and Levi didn’t appear to judge, but there’s a sense of uneasiness at showing those sealed wounds…letting him witness how you’d been gouged and flayed and _beaten_ until every piece of innocence was hollowed out. Those were bitter days where you felt as though you were cobbled together by nothing but bandages and safety pins.

But this man has scars as well, and you are now mindfully fingering some of them. He didn’t remark on this. Instead he abandoned your ear and leaned you back from how you’d been pressed chest to chest, kissing you and pushing his tongue in. His lingers against yours, over, under, around. Levi’s responses to many things are very physical. He doesn’t handle certain emotions well. 

For a little while, he lets you understand that he is not always a gruff asshole. He can be sensual as well, he has emotions, he has vulnerabilities he casts in armor and hides from the world. You do the exact same thing: hiding under bravado, intellect and fastened closed by cured leather straps.

His lips are soft and warm against yours instead of rough and demanding as before. This is him trying to make up for being a jackass. Levi just wanted all the kisses he didn’t get to have if you would’ve stayed with him into the morning. Or he thought he would have anyhow, in the continuance of that gentle dream. Now he’s availing himself of the real deal, replacing the imaginary sensation with that of your tongue fluttering against his own; a sweet taste of cinnamon, apples and black tea on your breath. 

You’ve let the contorted, phantom pains beginning to arise leak away, permitting Levi and only _Levi_ to fill your senses. There is a pang of guilt about Erwin, but then, nobody has made promises of being faithful. As it’s been said, that would be selfish in a place as dangerous as the Survey Corps. Erwin probably held a similar belief, being the Commander who has so much on his plate. You’d visit him later, if he wasn’t busy then you’d have an opportunity to get lost in _him_ as well. 

“We need to get dressed.” Levi murmured, and kissed you again. He isn’t otherwise budging. He keeps his steely arms wound around you, the water a lukewarm pool. “I don’t want to be late.”

“Me neither.” You aren’t getting up either. It feels too sweet, too pleasant, to sit here with him. You know your fingers and his will be puckered from oil loss and that skin would relax to normal in time, but for now, you hoped nobody was that observant. 

The tub would be drained, you’d both dry and dress. Without terrorizing each other over harnesses, thank you. Not today. Perhaps another day, but you and Levi seem to have an issue with these damn things in intimate situations. Issue being: they’re fun to fuck with. This is undoubtedly not the goal your grandfather Angel Aaltonen had in mind for the ODMG harness when he invented them to go with ODMG itself. 

You would duck out into your room, moving cautiously so as not to rouse anybody’s interest in case they heard Levi’s office door opening. There’s no telling what they’d think or say, but you both were careful, and you were determined to get to the hall outside Erwin’s office before the Captain did. There was about fifteen minutes left. You turned up to find the whole gang there (sans Shortcake), and smiled, running your pruney fingers through damp locks. “Hey all.”

“Feel any better?” Petra asked. You nodded with a stifled yawn. “I thought about taking a nap and realized there’d be no point.”

“Oh.” She blinked. “Next time ask, I’ll wake you. Going a day without sleep is rough.”  
“Nothing I haven’t handled.” You tell the ginger. She nods thoughtfully. Oluo, Gunther and Eld are talking amid themselves in a triangle. “Are you off light duty now, Petra?”

A wrinkled nose. “No. I’d like to be. I feel fine. Dr. Edlund said that since my injury is in a bad place and he suspects I have a small hip fracture; he insists that I take it easy until end of the month. The ODMG can make fractures like that worse I suppose.”

“Definitely not what you want to hear.” 

She nodded morosely. “I’m going crazy here. At least I can help do training drills, I was even told to stop doing the morning run.” You blinked, having forgotten about that. Today was the first day not having gone on one. “He’s worried you’ll aggravate the potential hip fracture, Petra, bear with it. Those don’t mend easily and there is no real way to set the bone. Better safe than sorry.”

“I hate hearing that. I’m tired of being benched.” She was a bit feistier than usual. Cabin fever, perhaps. You tilted your head, watching her posture, how she would shift weight from her left side unconsciously. “Aren’t you alright to go for rides?”

“Yes. But no excessive getting up and down on the saddle. I’m limited to getting up and down off a saddle once each a day.”

“Well…shit.” You sighed. “The Demonstration’s coming up, I was hoping you’d be well enough so _I_ don’t need to train for it. You’re more experienced in what they’re expecting.”

“It’s not hard actually, the worst part for me is that there’s hundreds of eyes on you and some of those belong to very important people. Our ability to perform has to be spot on and ‘wow’ the right guys. This might not guarantee funding, but it’s worse _not_ to participate when we’re the most criticized regiment of the three.”

“Any idiot can cut a wooden target, Petra.” You point out dryly. “If it is funding the regiment needs, shock them. Scare them shitless. They’ve forgotten what’s standing between their soft, well-fed bodies and toothy death.”

“Oy.” Everybody turns to see the Captain has arrived, exactly on time. “Enough about that.” You didn’t know how long Levi might’ve been listening other than ‘long enough’. You have arranged your expression into as blank a one as you can manage, turning to stare at him. About twenty minutes ago you were naked with this guy in the tub. Nobody would know it to look at either of you. Shortcake walks by, heading up those familiar stone steps into the tower. “Now wait here. I’m going to see what Commander Erwin has to say.” He turns up into the stairwell, disappearing behind its wall. You rub your forehead, listening for his footsteps to fade. “How do you guys reconcile protecting people who push back so hard? Needs of the many or something?”

“It pisses us off too, y’know.” Oluo grunted. “You haven’t been around to see how close those shitty bastards in Mitras have gotten to dismantling the Survey Corps. None of that is new to us.”

“We just keep pushing forward and carrying out our mission.” Eld said, arms crossing. “The needs of the many _do_ outweigh those of the few. Ultimately there’s many more than just a town full of aristocrats to worry about, problem is, they’re the ones pulling purse strings tight. They’d notice the difference quickly if we weren’t around.”

“It’s to protect and save as many as we can.” Petra voiced, and Gunther nodded. Your orbs swiveled to a wall devoid of any shadows, a simple patch of colored sunlight cast through stained glass. “I think you’re doing the impossible, trying to save tens of thousands is too enormous a burden. Out there, I hoped I was fast enough, smart enough, _strong enough_ to protect those few who mattered in my little world. Five people. That is who I needed to protect. _Just_ those five had to make it to sunrise intact. If I happened to save more, that was a good day.”

This is met with profound silence. 

_Upstairs…_

Erwin was twirling his pen around his fingers, contemplating the map spread upon his desk. Levi was at the window, ears picking up whenever the blond scratched marks onto the large paper. “Quill Hollow, three more titans loose that we know of in the hills. This suggests a potential hole between here,” He drew a line. “And here,” Two points are circled, an arrow between them. “Realistically, they could have come from further on. We have not heard from the Garrison Regiment regarding this.” He tapped his pen, appraising the map.

Levi paced the length of the windows behind Erwin’s desk, his grey orbs concentrated on the horizon like a hawk scanning for prey. “Didn’t you send a messenger to Commander Pyxis the other day?”

“Yes.” He picked up a wooden ruler, thought better of using it, and placed it back down again. “They should have returned since. Though we have heard nothing.” Erwin vents through his nose, knowing it can’t be helped. He would take out paper and begin writing the first of two letters. “We have no idea what else to anticipate, as such, half-measures cannot be taken. Levi, take your team and get this directly to Commander Pyxis in Trost. From there you are to support the Garrison Regiment unless they believe they can handle the situation.”

The shorter Captain would cast his bluegrey gaze over his shoulder to Erwin, listening to the scritch-scratch of his writing. He knew why Erwin would make such a move; Levi Squad contains the toughest motherfuckers in the Scout Regiment, nay, the _army._ They have the _highest_ return rate. Sending them made sense. Garrison soldiers aren’t as experienced at titan slaying unless they’re behind a cannon, this is common knowledge, but they’re also not half bad with the ODMG. Levi returned to staring outside. “What about Yeager?”

“He is to be left here. Petra and Gunther can oversee him for now. He has gone awhile without an episode, so I trust that it won’t be an issue.” Besides, he has disciplinary measures. Eren isn’t going to escape that. He is also still not as experienced as a veteran. He might drag an operation down in that regard. Levi knew it’d piss the Shifter off to high hell, but then, the brat might’ve considered the impact his teenage decisions would have on his near future. What Eren and his friends proved is that they can’t be relied upon to act completely mature in the eyes of their superiors. They screwed _themselves._

Erwin was first to admit last evening that anybody is prone to poor choices, but this does not excuse what could have happened if the correct measures were not taken.

Once both letters were complete, he placed them in envelopes and sealed them, a Wings of Freedom crest stamped into ultramarine wax. The Commander stood and headed down with Levi in tow. Eld motioned the group to fall in on hearing two sets of boots came thudding down stone treads. Levi was satisfied to see his team standing in a neat line, close to the wall, drumming your hands to your hearts in one motion. “We’re going to be moving out.” Levi said, accepting the scrolls from Erwin as the squad lowered their hands. Your gaze flickers between both men, seeing them side by side. You are content to see them both, but since they’re so observant you know you have to adopt some kind of expression that is believable in the situation—as you have a dreadful poker face, you now appear curious of what they’ve got to say. The blond Commander picks right up into the explanation.

“Gunther, Petra…you are both to keep watch over Eren Yeager today. He will be with the other cadets down in Research and Development. Section Commander Hange is aware that they are to be treated accordingly, as this is for disciplinary measures. There should be no trouble. They will be done with drills shortly. Go ahead and arm up, escort the cadets to R&D.”

“Sir!”  
“Sir!” 

They salute again and go. That left the usual suspects: you, Eld, Oluo, Levi. Erwin continues. “This is an unusual situation, putting it lightly. A messenger was sent yesterday and has not returned. I have no intention of sending another without knowing the first’s fate. Levi Squad will instead be going to Trost to lend our support to the Garrison Regiment in exterminating any stray titans as they search for the breach. I will remain here in the event further action is required. Levi, if you believe for a moment that reinforcements are required, do not hesitate to send word immediately.”

“Yes sir.”  
“Now head out. I want this situation handled.”

“SIR!” The group gives a simultaneous acknowledgement. Erwin’s blues linger on your form as you leave with your squad, half-smiling to himself. He was finding himself proud of you. It took a short two weeks for you to become a good soldier. Perhaps mouthy at times, yes, and you’ve taken liberties. But so far, he had no complaints. You’re a self-starter, and Special Operations did the rest.  
Also, that body.  
_Mm._

Trooping out to pick up ODMG for an actual operation of any sort meant that additional gas and blade cartridges must be accounted for. There were saddle packs designed to carry them for this sort of venture when wagons were not to be used. Petra and Gunther were waiting outside, watching Miche wrap up training drills. They were doing plain exercises and sparring today, nothing fancy. The cadets were notably glum, even while trying to knock one another out in their spar pairs. 

You’d carry heavy saddlebags to Umber in the stable with the others doing the same, holding theirs over their shoulders. You thought to question why you didn’t ride the horses over first, but you saw that stable hands were preparing all four horses to help speed things up. They helped fit packs on behind the saddles, securing them, and you mounted up. There was a peculiar amount of excitement flushing your system tainted with apprehension. This is an _actual_ operation. Your inaugural run as a soldier, as part of the Special Operations Unit.

As drills were ending and cadet and private alike were filing up into the castle or about their next duties, they heard an assertive, “MOVE OUT!” followed by a four-long string of horses galloping from the stables, green cloaks of their riders flying proudly behind. Levi is naturally in the lead on Erebos, the stallion’s coat shining almost blue-black in the noonday sun. Many began shouting, whooping, calling out well-wishes. Like a little send-off. They don’t know what’s happening, but they know it is dangerous. Civilians may not cheer when the Scouting Legion departs, but the Scouts will always cry out for their own.

You no longer have a name to assign to the feeling pouring throughout your limbs, filling up to the crown of your skull. The hairs on your arms prickled up, Umber’s reins are taut around your hands. Eld and Oluo had parted left and right and you can see straight between them to Levi, the typical diamond formation that the squad practices use of when needing to put a person in the middle for protection, typically that’d be Eren or even the Commander. This also mitigates the odds of a single titan taking out the whole team in one shot with enough room between each rider. 

Trost is not very far off, since the base is between Trost and Calaneth, not too far from a main thoroughfare that leads between two districts. The path is shaded with foliage and birds can be heard chirping. The air swishing past is not invigorating enough to stop you from longing for bed, and the strangely…proud?...sensation of that send off has died off in short order, with nothing but a tense mission ahead.

Perhaps its that nobody is talking. Perhaps its knowing that if there was a breach, it would mean that the titans can break more than a mere gate. Your mouth has gone dry at this disturbing thought. Why does it disturb you at all? It shouldn’t. You never took stock in these big ass walls and their ability to protect, nor did you for a moment trust in the Garrison Regiment. The only ones you know how to believe in now exist within the Survey Corps. 

How your life has changed.

_Elsewhere…_

A blond bearded man was sitting by an open window for light when the door opened.

“Zeke?” The rough voice asked.

“Ah. Reiner. You made it.” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, chin now inclined. “What of Bertolt?”

“He went to take a leak.” The shifter responded, closing the door behind him. Upon his shoulder was a dirty canvas messenger bag, which Zeke took immediate interest in. “Give me that.” He breathed, standing up and sticking a palm out. Reiner complied without displaying any reluctance, though he felt an abundance of it. The dirt-stained bag dangled in one knotted palm, snatched away possessively by Zeke. He was practically greedy to have the thing back, sitting carefully by the window again and working the earth-caked buckles open. When he checks inside, there’s a hefty sigh of relief. “Untouched. _Perfect.”_ He buckled it back up and crossed his arms over top of the canvas without caring about the grit coming off on his skin, eyeing Reiner from across the top edge of his spectacles.

“Now we have everything we need.” He voiced, evaluating the other carefully. “But you don’t seem so sure.”

“Yeah---I mean, I know some of the people we’re going up against. They’re going to be a huge pain in the ass.”

Zeke’s irises gleamed. “Don’t concern yourself with that so much, Reiner. I will handle them personally.” He tapped a middle finger on the canvas, producing a semi-hollow drumming noise. “Everything will go according to plan. All you and Bertolt need to do is your jobs. Don’t get sentimental over those Eldian dogs, or I’ll find somebody more worthy of that _armor_.”

“…”  
“That’s what I thought. Now steel yourself. We’re heading out in a couple of hours.”

Reiner took the hint and turned on his heel, wrenching the door open because it was stuck in the frame. Once placing himself outside and slamming it closed, he turned his head away and closed his eyes, envisioning the faces he grew to know so well during boot camp.

Was this necessary? Was any of it really…couldn’t they go? Couldn’t they stop this insanity? Did they need to be on a crash course?

“Reiner?”

He blinked alive at Bertolt’s gentle voice. “I’m fine.” He heard the question in his tone. Bertolt smiled thinly. “I doubt that.” He turned to walk back to the cabin they’d been bunking in. Another day, another town, another slew of villagers made titans off shambling in the distance when Zeke ordered them away. That guy is scary in human form, but when he gets all hairy, it’s way worse. “Zeke threatened to give my armor to someone else.” He murmured at last as they walked down a back path.

Knowing which persona he was dealing with…the Soldier, Bertolt sighed at his friend. “We can’t stop now, Reiner, we lost that luxury back in Vanaheim.”

“We didn’t have to, that’s the thing. We could’ve…I don’t know. We could’ve tried harder to do that search when nobody was in the church.”

“That never would’ve happened, you know this Reiner. They lived there. We did what we had to.” Bertolt knew why this was coming up now. Zeke might’ve been pleased that they recovered his case of spinal fluid, and now they had another one that was stowed in an underground cache. He claimed there was more hidden by Marleyan spies in anticipation for their gambit throughout the Wall Rose territory, certainly enough to raise a titan army. As Zeke can control them with his voice, he was the leader of this crazy thing.

“Reiner,” Bertolt began, demeanor taking on a softer cant. “We do this, and we can go home again. Don’t you want that?”

“More than anything in the world.” Reiner said this to content Bert’s curiosity, but he wasn’t positive anymore.

He wanted so badly to believe this was right.  
Every fiber in his body told him that it’s wrong.

_Hours Later, Levi Squad…_

Trost’s gates loomed ahead, but they began lowering a metal lift down the side instead of opening the gates. Your eyes went wide when you saw this, sitting in line now with Eld and Oluo.

“They uhm…that?” You asked, trying not to stammer. “They want us to ride onto THAT? It looks unstable as fuck!”

“Calm down, it’s fine. We do this all the time.” Eld said, attempting not to crack up at your abrupt nervousness. “What? Afraid of heights, Aaltonen?”

“You know I’m NOT…” 

“Awwww. Haz is scared.” 

“I will put you in a headlock, Manbun, don’t think I won’t.”  
“What’re you making fun of my hair for?”  
“It’s a bun and you’re a man, pretty self-explanatory.”  
“I don’t even--”  
“Shut the hell up or you’re both on shit-shoveling detail for a week.”

Oluo is for once not the focus of your ire. He is entertained to sit back and watch while Levi keeps his bored stare on the lift as it seems to inch down Wall Rose. Once it clanks to the grass you urge Umber forward, nerves jolting as the metal of her horseshoes clacked harshly on steel. The Garrison soldier standing on the lift seems blasé about the situation, pulling the gate shut once all of Levi Squad is aboard and turning the lever. The whole thing lurches up and you pull your hood up over your head when Eld and Oluo immediately turn to watch your reaction. They snort. 

“You two are _so_ dead later.” You grate out from clenched teeth. Sitting with your head about seven feet up in the air on horseback is scary as hell when on a rickety metal platform crawling up a steep drop. You had the option to dismount but Levi had been a silent wise ass when he merely rode Erebos onto the elevator instead, and Eld and Oluo knew _exactly_ why he did it. Because they collectively decided it would be funny if you squirmed, and boy did you ever.

“Man, you Scouts kill me. _Nobody_ rides a lift on horseback.” The Garrison soldier remarked, beaming up from where he leaned casually to your left. He admired the fearlessness. “Nng…_y-yeah._ We’re the worst.” You mutter sourly, causing Eld and Oluo to explode and Levi to smirk.

In response to their fits of hysterics, you unseated a boot from your stirrup and kicked Oluo in the calf. “OW!!!”  
“SHUT IT, RUFFLES. You too, Manbun!”  
“Oy.” Levi is warning the group to cut the shit. He can convey this with a two-letter word and a look.

The unnamed soldier is amused. It’s a well-known fact that the Survey Corps is a haven for weirdos, and most didn’t blame them for their idiosyncrasies. Another certainty is how fearless Scouts are seen as by many. Who is seen screaming negativity from the streets are the discontented folk, quite a many actually _appreciate_ the Survey Corps for what they do but their voices are outweighed by the loudest naysayers. 

Now, for the first time in your life, you were atop one of these grand walls and sitting on horseback to boot. Umber was calm about it since she’s trained for these matters. You were last off since the gate facing inward is on Levi’s side. Following them you see the world opened up on both sides, far higher than the castle. You could actually see it from here. 

“Not too bad, huh?” Eld asked, dropping back to ride alongside you. Joking aside, he knew being topside is intimidating to first timers. “Can see everything up here.”

“I never thought I’d be here.” You admitted softly, head turning from the verdant vista below as the second lift down to the interior was brought up. You stopped Umber to look out over Trost, a city you’ve never seen until today. “Why did we have to go this way?”

“They avoid opening the gates when they can. We’re a small party.” The blond answered truthfully. Levi was entering the second lift followed by Oluo, Eld, then yourself. He didn’t dismount this time either. No sense in bothering now. 

This once it didn’t feel like as long an elevator ride. Shortly Levi Squad was trotting into the streets, with civilians parting like a tide, whispering and pointing. You took your hood down now and knew to act professionally. Levi would have your head later if you disgraced them by acting out, that’s a fact.  
Trost was kind of pleasant to ride through, and Levi knew how to navigate to Garrison Headquarters. The inside of Garrison HQ was very tidy and practical, a building intentioned for its usage unlike the once noble-owned castle that the Scouts called home. As Levi went to consult with Commander Pyxis, the squad was to linger in the mess hall until further instructions were issued.

Garrison cadets and privates are, of course, whispering as the squad heads towards one of the available spots in the back. One of the cadets working in the kitchen brought water out to the table, Eld thanked them, and the group was seated on stools surrounding a round table. At least you didn’t have to shift your gear around to sit this way.

“Are they…?”  
“What are Scouts doing here?”  
“Oh my god, that’s Eld Gin! And Oluo Bozad!”  
“Who’s with them?”  
“Guys, that’s the Special Operations Squad! The _Levi_ Squad!” 

Their whispers were hushed but many. You collected them in your brain, drinking your water and turning to cast a look in their directions. The cadets spun back in their seats as though scorched. Oluo was sopping up the attention while Eld appeared indifferent. “Always the same.” He droned out. “Everybody has a thing to say.”

“Guess you two are celebrities.” You respond, raising a brow. Oluo donned his arrogant Levi-esque demeanor and Eld nodded once. “We’re well known throughout the districts. Get used to it. Now you will be too, Haz.”

“Well that’s a first.”  
“You come from a famous bloodline. This was bound to happen sooner or later. They’ll start asking your name now, watch.”  
“Please tell me they aren’t going to actually come up and inflict us with their presence, I don’t know that I can handle a bunch of starry-eyed space cadets right now.”

‘Space cadets.’ A term you coined in recent days for the 104th Cadets, who seemed to lately have nothing but an empty space between their ears. It was less funny when you had to explain it, but Hange still laughed because she found this phrase as a stroke of genius. 

Turns out that they would indeed approach, some of the bolder ones anyhow. “E-excuse us…” A teenage boy began, clearing his throat. His fellows clustered behind him as though he were a tree. Eld, Oluo and yourself looked up and they practically quailed on the spot.

Those _expressions_. Holy _**fuck**_ you guys looked like cold blooded killers. Badass.

None of you have the heart to tell them that this resting bitch face look the group has going on is attributed to exhaustion and annoyance.

_Meanwhile, Office of Commander Pyxis…_

“…I see. Hmm.” The bald older gentleman thumbed his chin, re-reading a missive in hand. Levi stood in front of his desk, waiting for his decision. “We haven’t heard anything from your Regiment. There were a couple reports of titans allegedly seen between the gaps in tree coverage from the wall, but our search yielded no results.”

“Commander Erwin has sent us to assist however we can.” Levi said. “We aren’t certain how titans could’ve gotten in without a breach.”

“Yet there is none I know of.” Pyxis answered. “I would know. We change the guard daily.” A resigned sigh. “Can’t be helped, I suppose. We’ll need to launch an exploration between here and Calaneth District.” 

“Do you have an idea, sir?”

“I do, actually.” Pyxis rolled his document up, placing it aside in a drawer. “But nothing my Regiment can’t handle. I’d still like you to escort a team to Calaneth and sweep for titans on the way. They will check for breaches in the wall, should one be found they will report back one by one. Would that be doable, Captain Levi?”

“Certainly.”

“Excellent. Then you and your men can head back to base directly after. Should we need further backup, we’ll send a messenger.”

As he was shortly thereafter permitted to head back to fetch his team, Levi was not exactly feeling optimistic about that. One messenger vanished into the forest. He had no reason to believe a second wouldn’t. 

When he came to the mess hall he saw a bunch of cadets making a fuss, he cut right through them and caused them to scatter instantaneously with more mutters and whispers. “We have a plan.” He told the gang, sitting down and accepting a cup of water. “We can wait here while the others prepare.” Unable to elaborate with so many whispering, eager teenagers and soldiers was kind of…well, it was going to make it impossible for Levi to brief the team on whatever mission was cooked up.

“Captain Levi Ackerman--!”  
“That’s Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, right?!”  
“Yeah, they say he is as powerful as a whole brigade!!!”  
“He’s way shorter than I thought.”  
“Yeah, isn’t he supposed to be 7 feet tall with horns?”  
“He’s not a titan, idiot.”  
“Titans don’t have horns…”

How they could ignore the rabble was beyond you. Taking from their example you acted as though they weren’t exactly there. “Don’t you get tired of such drivel?” You asked Levi, who was holding his cup overhand as typical. He sent a flat, _‘what do you think’_ sort of look in response. You smirked, deaf to the whispers about your very own self. They don’t get much excitement in Trost since the gate was permanently sealed by Eren Yeager. The Survey Corps Special Operation Squad is legendary, led by a very short man so tremendously excellent at what he does that his image is obscured by myth.

“Tch…don’t they have anything better to do?” Oluo grunted, leaning on his palm. Eld lifted a shoulder. “At lunch hour? Doubt it.”

“Excuse me, Captain Levi?”  
“What is it?”  
“We’re ready out front, sir.”  
“Good. Let’s get this over with.” 

Getting outside and mounted up, you did not know why, but there was a strange tension about going out there. There is a group of ten that had to be protected, with only two of them old enough to be veterans and the rest very green seeming. A group of fourteen soldiers was bound to attract titans which is undoubtedly the purpose. 

The mission was explained on the way and shortly everyone would be back in the field, with you remaining as rear guard. Levi trusted you to make sure nothing snuck up on the small formation. Rear Guard is a position not to be taken lightly. 

Eld and Oluo were talking back and forth from their spots on either side and slightly behind Levi. There were mumblings from the Garrison soldiers ahead of you, talking about how, ‘These psycho Scouts take nothing seriously’ when there were peals of laughter ahead, and your eyes were now beginning to drift. Most of them had their heads on the swivel because they genuinely felt exposed out here. One caught your bored, wandering gaze and grunted that they’re probably going to die out here, with a handful of them shaking in their saddles. 

You hear it before they do and your eyes flick towards the source of vibrations. 

“TWELVE TITANS, SEVEN O’ CLOCK!!” You bellow ahead. 

Levi extends an arm as a signal and called to the Garrisons to keep riding. You jump up on saddle like second nature, unsheathe and anchor, flying to your targets as they thunder closer. The Garrison unit starts screaming, with their few veterans shouting for order. 

Things are about to get hazardous.


	17. Gambit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The poor bastards did not know what hit them.  
Later on, you share their pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: At 17 chapters; Flight of a Valkyrie has officially had over 2k hits, close to 100 kudos, is approaching 200 comments, and 25 bookmarks. This is astonishing to me. I am honored that you guys are taking the time to read and let me know your thoughts and feelings, that I am able to help you remove yourself from the daily grind…if only for a little while.
> 
> Thank you so much. <3

Gambit

“TWELVE TITANS, SEVEN O’ CLOCK!!”  
A cry to action.

There are tales of the Scout Regiment’s heroism upon the field. After all, tales are told only by the surviving witnesses. This stands to reason that; therefore, most would think it was fellow scouts who spread such ‘self-serving rumors’. Then there is what common folk see upon return of an expedition; beaten down spirit, defeated postures, a covered heap of corpses.

Until there are chances such as this.

This is _not_ a, ‘beaten down’ kind of day. What these titans don’t know will fucking maul them: a band of tired, kind of snippy, approaching-the-HANGRY-threshold Scouts, and those happen to be Levi Squad. This was not about to break towards favor of the brainless beasts.

“MORE INCOMING!!!”

The Garrisons were horrified at your announcements, knowing only that their own forays into titan country have ended poorly. The soldiers in Trost these past months are particularly green, with there being no way to open the gate. Their only method of entering and leaving the boundary beyond into Wall Maria’s territory is by lift. Suffice to say, they do not frequently have need of such errands. 

Seeing four Scouts departing their saddles leaves them feeling nude, with your horses continuing to run as they are meant to. Levi is first on the scene, breaking for the left. You go to the far right, Eld and Oluo go rocketing down center. It becomes a spectacularly bloody sight.

One titan down. Two. Four. Six. Cables are shrieking as you bear down on another stray from the woods aimed for the ones on horseback, streamers of smoking blood tailing the edges of your swords. A nape from an especially large one fell like a gory meteor from above, scattering the horses when it thudded and splattered. There was more terrified shrieking to be had from that bit of theater. You are beginning to feel especially sadistic by now and are approaching the threshold of letting titans approach the group for a thrill. You lost track of how many more have come thundering about from the forest, seeking small crunchy things to feed upon.

While traversing the battlefield you note that Eld has been striking for the nape as his sole target, not in any mood to be bothered with the limbs. His expression is one you catch vaguely in passing: grim, and not much else. Oluo is about the same, but Levi has developed an oppressively irate air. You zing between trees, descending deeper into the ‘play with your food’ process as you hurry up a titan’s arm and hack it off at the shoulder, nearly getting swatted. Except that you’ve already dropped and take out a knee. It is instantly buckling down to the emerald ground while you are cutting the second leg off mid-fall. 

Levi sings by and shreds out the entire back of its neck before you can do the same. You don’t catch the glare he’s cast your way, but you felt it. The _‘woman, don’t try me’_ look. Shortcake has a talent with that. 

Your throat clicks with agitation that he stole your kill and sail ahead, scouring for new prey. The tide of enemy reinforcements has slowed. You sling through the shadow of a titan that Oluo felled before it hit the ground and are instantly all over a 10-meter on its opposite side, determined not to let your new target get snatched. You are having a day and this titan will pay for it. Doesn’t matter that he has nothing whatso-fucking-ever to do with it, he’s dealing, that’s that. 

He gets to ‘deal’ in the form of you mangling him from ankles to neck; gaping, steaming gouges opening up across its naked form as whole pieces of flesh are transected from bone beneath. You are a furious blur that can’t be tracked. The back of his throat is last to go, having prolonged its misery long as you could. 

You descended upon another one at the same time as Levi, and normally that means ‘back off’. But to his own amusement you don’t. You keep account of his movements and go in the reverse direction, ripping the beast apart as much in tandem with him as you can with gear which is pared down compared to his. 

That was a sight to see…a rare 20-meter monstrosity, reduced to gory ribbons by a hell of flashing, dancing steel and wires. Levi has not taught others to coordinate specifically with himself, that is an endeavor far too dangerous even for those who have run with him for years. He warns any joining his squad to not to engage his targets. Accidents happen, but Levi did not need assists becoming casualties because they caught the business end of his blades.

You are the first one to attempt it in years and not slow him down by getting in his way while having had no extended training to accomplish it. When he comes around, you simply aren’t there, having consciously dropped or risen high enough to let him zip about the mammoth beast’s surface. This one is taking a bit more of a setup to kill. Its hulking frame shifts around disturbingly easily. With arms so disproportionately skinny and bendy with how they whip from side to side about its body, a vast forearm would unintentionally continue flinging over the back of its neck one after another as it windmilled to catch elusive targets. Levi has had plenty of the monster’s stalling, opting to slide down to the long fingers of a strangely narrow hand.

But while he cut those off, you surged ahead of him and bit your swords through its forearm, cutting them off and winking at the Captain before vanishing across its back as Levi cut the elbow. You overhear a string of curses that is nothing short of magnificent and bust out a laugh, carving down around the titan’s following lengthy arm. Eld and Oluo are ripping through a couple more on their own with murderous ease. 

Levi by all means would have dealt with this titan on his own. Absolutely, one thousand percent…he’s a legend. He has yet to meet a titan he can’t handle short of the Colossal, which he has yet to personally encounter. But _this_ freak is trying him and then there’s you, which he slows down barely enough to mainly study your actions when attempting to coordinate with him. If your gear was on par with his, you might’ve even pulled it off without him being extra careful.

He has not had somebody along for the ride that could even get out of his fucking _way_ on a killing spree, much less begin to anticipate his actions and react accordingly. The only other one who he has run with capable of that is Miche Zacharias himself, humanity’s second strongest. His own team merely avoids crossing paths. This is your voiceless message to him: _’You aren’t the only game in town, Ackerman.’_

The 20 meter is felled. There are a handful left, they’ve finish trickling out of the woods. Levi tests his theory, sinking his hooks deep into another terror’s flesh, and proceeding to work from the thing’s outer extremities. This time he switched it up, going from one arm to the leg diagonal, and sure enough…you mirror him. Again, a bit slower, but when he has buzzsawed the last leg down to a nub; you’re above him at the thing’s remaining arm, about done reducing it to a hacked-out stump also. 

Well, color him ‘entertained’. 

He nearly gets whiplash when boredom has set in for you with this act and you fly away to a last titan, a 5-meter small fry. Decimated in short order, the group would catch up with the Garrison soldiers and saddle back up.

Now perhaps they didn’t see the whole story, but you four are returning intact. That you returned _at all_ is striking. 

There would be a brief intermission on the run where the company drew to a halt. 

“Why are we stopping?” The Garrison Team Leader shouted ahead. You were riding Umber up past them to group up with the others to find out the same answer, but it was self-evident when you got there: they needed a moment to have some water and eat a ration. You dismounted when they did as the Garrison soldiers were looking around to one another, confused. 

“The hell…?” You heard a cadet ask his friends, who seem mutually confused.

“What’s the problem?” Eld asked them flatly, with the same sort of ‘no nonsense’ vibe as before. “We just killed 25-plus titans. Water your horses while you can, there might be more ahead.”

“R-right.”  
As you were about to grab the bucket to pour some water from a skin for your own horse, a Garrison cadet interrupted. “Excuse me…uh…we can do that. Please take this time to recuperate.”

“…sure. Thanks, kid.” You pass the bucket to him and grab your own water and a ration bar, heading over to lean up against the base of Wall Rose beside Levi. He was watching the Garrisons from over his canteen. You take a bite of ration and manage not to wrinkle your nose at the flavor.

“I know. Not good, but not bad either.” Levi remarks idly, continuing to scan the area for signs of danger. 

“They’re scared shitless.” 

“Uh-huh. Usually are.” He took a swig. You lean to see what Eld and Oluo were up to—they are leaned up close by in the shade as well, though not talking. The exhaustion of the all-nighter has hit them enough to where they’re both feeling cranky and unwilling to engage in small talk. They’re also out of earshot, with Eld sitting at the base of a tree and Oluo also posted up against the wall farther down.

“Are we not going to address how there’s about twenty-something titans and nothing that looks like a breach?” You asked Levi and took another bite. The ravenette turned his head slightly in your direction, greys ahead towards the trees. “Everybody’s thinking about the same right now, I can tell you that.” He said. “They’re scared shitless because this is what the Garrison Regiment is meant to prevent. They manage the Walls. This many titans on the wrong side means they fucked up royally.” 

“Unless they didn’t.”

“Don’t start that annoying shit where you talk in riddles, I’m not in the mood.” Levi grunted, turning his face more towards you. You studied his features for the second time today. His jaw might be sharp, but most of his features are finer whereas Erwin’s are strong, more defined. _“What?”_ He tried again, with a touch of impatience.

“The Titan Shifters.” You drop your tone, nearly sounding conspiratorial. “I told you before. They had this…needle thing. They’d stab a person with it, and they become a titan. Usually they would kill them if they were so out of proportion that they were barely mobile.”

Levi’s gaze was now far more intense. “How much of that did they have?”

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to bet that’s why Braun and Hoover went to the church in Vanaheim those months ago. They might’ve been desperate for whatever was left behind before. How hard would it be for them to show up here at Wall Rose with their Regiment jackets, say they got separated from their unit, and slip in?”

“The Garrison Regiment would have been obligated to inform us. A messenger should’ve been sent.” He considered, watching the Garrison cadets help their veterans water every last horse. This is a disturbing conversation, and not beyond imagining either. Reiner and Bertolt would have been able to kill an unsuspecting company of soldiers, only a couple would be sent to see them back to HQ as a formality. 

_Walls,_ that’s an enraging thought.

“Aren’t we also out here because a courier of our own went missing?”

He wondered if you could read minds for a hot second, or if he was literally being that transparent. But of course, he then recalled, that was part of the briefing. “Yeah.” 

There was quietude in which you took the corner of your cloak and dabbed around your neck and forehead. This was a wretched day to be out and about…the sky’s beautifully cloudless, and the sun a merciless ball of heat beating the world below like a slave driver. You felt pores weeping within your uniform after working up a sweat. 

As you adjusted your cloak a bit to get more comfortable, you catch sight of one of the many scratches on the back of your hand; a thin line from flying past the trees. 

Then your looked up abruptly towards the Garrison grunts, a motion which instantly drew Levi’s otherwise lax attention. “Captain?” You began, pitch cropped up barely loud enough to be heard. 

“What?”  
“Remember talking about how fast rumors fly?”  
“Yes…”

“I think I know how to get us out of D-Day and lure the Female Titan in one fell swoop. Only thing is, it’ll require a bit of acting.”

His visage turned instantly more serious.

_Meanwhile; Scout HQ, The Pit…_

“This. Is. GROSS!” Christa whined noisily, sloshing over to the Pit lift with another full bucket. Beside it was a bespectacled man with short hair from Hange’s Squad Four. He is creatively referred to by most as ‘Goggles’. He regards her calmly. “Easy there, cadet. Don’t haul more than you can handle.”

“I-I’m not…” She gasped, plunking the bucket of nasty down beside others. She turned, wiping sleeve across forehead. Her fellow 104th friends were there too, with Eren being watched by Gunther and Petra from Special Operations. They were gabbing with a few from Squad Four and are also the only two in the Pit currently wearing ODMG, though most were aware they were only belted in today should Eren have an episode. It was not anticipated to happen. Dr. Edlund already made his feelings known on this subject, that they did not have approval to wear any gear, _a quarter of the castle_ heard his verbal assault upon catching them in the hall wearing it. 

Eren knew both were meant to be on light duty until end of the month, with fractures which were hard to set. The gear would push their healing back if they’d be forced to utilize it, so Eren was roundly scolded by Edlund after: ‘--Don’t dare make them have to chase you, BOY’. Tough old veteran turned doctor; Ed will hand a person their own ass as soon as he’s done patching it up. He believes that putting the fear into soldiers will motivate them not to get hurt and wind up in his ward less.

After drills and Levi Squad’s departure, the 104th Cadets were gathered up for their disciplinary action. Which happened to be cutting open the bellies of three titans and excavating their soupy, foul contents. They had to use metal buckets for this hideous task, and none were in high spirits. If anything, they were utterly miserable that this is what they had to contend with.

“You know what?” Ymir rumbled. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d rather be in laundry.”

“Anything is better than this.” Connie agreed moodily. “I can’t believe we have to—euuughhh!” What looked a whole lot like a female pelvis bobbed to the surface as he scooped more goop out, slopping quasi-digested clumps into metal vessels with a series of moist _’splat’_ noises. His tummy lurched. “Ulf, don’t think I’m eating tonight.”

Sasha predictably brightened. “Can I have your ration?” 

“I’m not even going down there. If I smell food, I’m gonna puke!”  
“Awwww _Conniiieee_, but they won’t give me your ration! _You_ have to do it!”

“Hey, hey! Less whining over there!” 

They continue their gooey work. Most of the time they bitched mightily between one another if a superior wasn’t close enough, but of those, Armin was silent. Watery blue eyes slid across to the lift as he carried another filled bucket. They’d be bringing the lift up to dispose of this muck and free up some buckets shortly. He hoped to be selected to go topside, but his muscles already burned from their efforts and the disposal site is down a hill. Excavating _one_ titan’s stomach is foul work. _Three_ is unconscionable. His eyes were glassy nonstop from the steam, though they had cleaning bandanas over their mouths and noses. 

Arlert, regardless, did not partake in their complaints. He was reticent to go to Quill Hollow anyhow but allowed himself to be swayed, now he was paying the price for a thing he never suggested. It felt kind of cruel and perhaps disproportionate to their ‘crime’, but then again, it is only manual labor. An unusual _type_ of manual labor, but nonetheless hard on the body and the senses. He could not rouse his ire much as his fellows did for this punishment. Armin is always able to rationalize multiple sides of an issue. Today was no exception.

As he thunked the bucket down and turned away, he felt a bit fazed and in need of water. He trudged to where water skins were kept and snagged his, uncapping it for a guzzle of lukewarm clarity while standing sweat-drenched in noisome heat.  
The Pit is deep underground below the prison, and it does not manage to feel any cooler despite being below ground level; a rectangular space accessed by one large lift and a narrow flight of stairs ascending to the dungeon. It is lightless and the only significant source of airflow is when the top of the lift is rigged upwards, as the well for the lift is outside. 

As such, The Pit is a fetid, stagnant hole which might be the entry level of Hell. That’d make the R&D Division a gaggle of demons by default, conducting Hange Zoe’s twisted form of experimentation. 

In here it’s composed of nothing but flat, plain surfaces with hints that it’d been chiseled out in places by hand, the walls rippled and displaying thousands of toolmarks. Everything is rough-cut and utilitarian. Grimmer than the place their dear Eren sleeps certainly, about thirty meters above their head. The biggest chains Armin has ever seen are looped in wood-slat crates; the largest ones being riveted to the ceiling, dripping manacles in what dull light was thrown by torch. Spears are propped in a dingy corner by the elevator. One tall cage is bolted into a second corner, floor to ceiling, and then there is a rolling flatbed they used to transport unconscious titans from lift to chains or prison.

Though these inhuman freaks do not know why they deserve such treatment as being pinned like butterflies and hollowed out, Armin cannot bring a single grain of mercy to the forefront of his mind. They deserved this bullshit. They brought it upon themselves, yes indeed—if they would spend the day moping and resenting, then Armin would be accepting in counterbalance. 

He drank deeply again, wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth, moistened his dry lips pointlessly, and pitched back in. When he got there, a masticated corpse is floating in magenta-tinted detritus of the third exposed cavity, a sort of gastric acid stew thickened by dissolved flesh and clothing fibers. Arlert pulls his bandana back up and suppresses a familiar gag reflex as the reek tenderized the back of his throat. 

Jean, across from him, has taken one of the spears and fits the point beneath a rib bone, pushing it towards the edge. “This big guy was about ready to regurgitate.” Nifa observes from aside and hands a second pike to Mikasa. She proceeds to assist Jean, and with Eren’s help they extricate the bony remains in pieces. Beneath their soles, this titan is listless. It suffered soundlessly against cold stone with iron spikes crucified down every limb, a creature with no energy left that only resisted when it felt the swords biting belly fat into the lining, lopping off the front of its distended abdomen but twenty-some minutes prior. Even then it could do nothing but rumble pain and belch steam. The latter alone from three gutted titans was collecting a miasma against the rectangular ceiling, bit by bit trickling out the presently open-air elevator shaft. 

As they maneuvered, grumped and grumbled to one another, a certain tall cadet was finally unhinging his jaw for a question. “Why do we need to do this, again?” Jean sounded rather faint to Armin’s ears. This was about the nastiest project they’ve been set on. Christa nearly slipped and fell into a stomach cavity at the beginning and they have been nervous since.

“Because we would prefer not needing to scoop it off the floor.” Nifa reminds. “Now come on, the longer you complain the worse you’ll feel. This is the last one, guys. Home stretch!”

They want to appreciate her attempt at motivation, but it’s not of much use. 

_Hours Later…_

You do not know that somewhere in Eldia there is a thespian’s guild which gives awards for compelling performances.

If you did, you might’ve written them to consider Captain Levi Ackerman and Vice-Captain Eld Gin for their act as, ‘damsel in distress’, with a pocket of Garrison soldiers being their audience. The second wave of titans was not as populous as the first, but it did drag out some of the largest titans since the twenty-meter from before.

Levi, Eld, Oluo and yourself had to appeal visually to the audience. Your movements on the ODMG began fluent as typical, but that petered out. The cadets openly fret when Eld goes down, having tugged a wire at the precise moment a titan’s leg swung forward, giving the appearance his lead got yanked and sent him tumbling hard to the ground. Oluo was acting sort of like his wingman in that instance, hollering profanities and arcing around after him. The titan took a lumbering step, turning. Eld was now getting dragged. A scabbard ripped off the belts of his left side and he emitted a strangled scream. Oluo’s blades severed the leg which Eld’s remaining anchor was embedded within before it could clumsily haul him another step across the ground. 

Feigning having become distracted by this display, Levi did a thing you didn’t anticipate he’d allow in a million years…and let his prey wrap its fingers around him, crushing both sheathes into his sides as it raises his small head and shoulders towards its mouth.

_’SHHHING!!”_  
_ **“RAAAAAGH!!!!”** _

You go tearing past with a roar of indignation and a metallic screech of blade on bone, rending wrist from forearm. The hand fell, fingers held tight around Levi’s minute frame as it tumbled down. He tucked his head, managing not to get brained in the fall. “Captain!!!” You yell back, spiking your lines into the titan’s shoulder and gliding your metal through his nape. “CAPTAIN LEVI! ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!!!”

Oluo felled the last titan and you were already on the ground, hurrying to where Levi was entombed in fingers thicker than his own waist. With a sword and enough elbow grease, you are prying him loose as steam boiled up from the wrist stump. Levi glowers at you, perfectly fine and uninjured but for a couple scratches. “I am never fucking doing this shit again; I don’t _care_ if it works.” He hissed venomously. You smirk and reach for the graze on his cheek, smearing the blood to become more noticeable. “Ohhhh, our poor sweet Captain is wounded~” You gloat over him with your tone dropping into a croon, eyes dancing maliciously as his glare intensifies. You leave another spot on his cravat for effect and collect a bit more to dab crimson along the top edge of a belt on his thigh. “Don’t you _fucking_ enjoy this shit, Aaltonen.” 

“They’re coming. Make like you’re in excruciating pain.” You jabbed his side with the blood to leave large, fresh spots before grasping the hem of his once-pristine top and hiking it out from under his harness on one side. Footsteps are pattering up from behind, many of them together. “Is he…?!” The first asks breathlessly, leaning to look down. Levi had his head back and his posture stiff, features tensing on and off through imagined waves of pain. He grits those teeth you’ve navigated over with your tongue this morning. You don’t know if he bit his cheek, but there is blood upon them.

“Captain Levi!” Another yelps, dismayed. You turn on them. “Focus!” Your countenance is tense. “Bring his horse! I think the titan broke some ribs; he won’t let me touch them. Don’t stare, GO!!” You point with the sword left in hand to Erebos, and a cadet nods and hastens away. You stand and sheathe. “Oluo—hey, OLUO! How’s Eld!?”

“Bad shape!” He shouted back from across the way. “We need to get them out of the open!”

“Bring Vice Captain Gin’s horse as well.” You tell the soldiers hovering by your shoulder. “Oluo’s right, we can’t stay here.”

“Calaneth is close. You can seek medical attention there—” 

“N-no…” Levi’s voice utters out a low refusal. “I need to…” Grimace. “…report…Commander Erwin. He needs to know…” 

“Captain Levi, please don’t push yourself.” A Garrison veteran who spoke up does so guardedly while remaining watchful, turning his grizzled head side to side in search of enemies. “I am certain the Commander would understand. We can send word.”

You grimace for real. Fuck them and their decent logic. “No,” You protest. “The couriers have been going missing. We can’t let that happen again.” You tell the veteran, and help Levi begin to straighten up slowly, painfully, with your hand on his lower back. “Easy, sir. I don’t know if you can feel it, but I’m supporting your back. I will remove the ODMG now. You cannot carry extra weight on broken bones.”

“Aaltonen, leave—_n-nngh…!_” A hand flew to his side where the shirt was mussed. His eyes slammed shut, lids twitching through a wave of agony. Your fingers manipulated his belts, unburdening him of gear. Eld was getting a similar treatment, and a cry echoed out from his side. “DON’T—AAGH!” 

“Damn it, Eld!!” Oluo swore some more. “I need help over here! Where’s the damn first aid kid?! What the fuck are you shitty little brats doing standing around anyway?!?!”

_’Laying it on maybe a bit thick, Ruffles…’_ You thought warily, continuing to tend to Levi’s pretended needs. “Alright Captain. When you’re ready, this cadet and I are going to help you stand. Your horse is right here.”

Levi is trying not to explode with rage. _’This is fucking HUMILIATING.’_ “Just…warn me.” He breathes, seeming to push down with his self-discipline. Honestly, you’ve seen how people get with busted ribs, it’s brain-blending agony. You hoped they’d buy this. Levi couldn’t let them check under his shirt and see no signs of injury. On the count of three, you and a strapping lad with Roses on his jacket heft Levi up, bearing his weight on your shoulders. You know the shorter man is rather well built, but his size belies his weight. He’s more solid than you anticipated, even having had him laying over you once. 

Kind of humbling, that this _killing machine_ is playing along so well despite how demeaning it must be. Eld too. 

With a great deal of ‘pain’ and hurtful growling on their part, they are propped up in their saddles and gearless. You and Oluo harness the ODMG to their horse’s packs and turn to the pair of Garrison Vets. The one from before regards you as calmly as is to be expected of one befitting his rank. He’s a team captain himself. “I am aware you both must obey your Captain’s orders, and his supersede mine at present. I will take my team the remainder of the way to Calaneth. It’s right past that stand of trees, the coast seems clear for now. Are you certain we can’t escort your team to Scout Headquarters?”

“You have your mission to fulfill, sir. As do we. Captain Levi has made his wishes clear, though he seems a bit out of it right now,” You lowered your voice, glancing to the side as Oluo joined in. You enlighten him. “Captain Levi wants us to get back to headquarters.”

“What, are you stupid? They need a doctor!” Oluo snapped hotly, getting in your face. You harden your stare. “Get the hell out of my face, Bozad, this is no time for disagreements. Captain Levi’s orders are absolute. Are you telling me your judgement overrides his?”

The tone you adopted sent a chill flat down Oluo’s being. For a second there, you sounded like a commanding officer yourself. “…I’m saying they need help sooner rather than later, and Calaneth is right there.”

“Then _I’m_ saying that the longer we stand here arguing is another minute towards more titans catching us with our pants down.” Your eyes narrowed at him. “Now put your ass in that saddle or I’ll put that saddle in your ass. Pick one.” 

Grumbling, he would go off to his horse and check on Eld. Levi is meanwhile hiding his smile in his cravat, face hung as he braces his side with one hand. He was pretending to be ‘out of it’ in pain, merely to see how you’d react to hearing Oluo push against his orders. He was lowkey proud that you defended _your poor sweet Captain’s_ directive. And made an ass joke in the process.

The Veteran nodded grimly to your logic, ignoring that threat to your teammate. “We can’t wait any longer. If you’re absolutely certain, we’ve already satisfied the requirements of our search anyhow. There are no breaches between Trost and Calaneth. Be certain to make a thorough report if Captain Levi is in no shape to do so after medical attention. I will be making a report of my own. I apologize, but I will need to be honest about the damage sustained by your squad.”

“Understood, sir.” You acknowledged the superior officer crisply, putting fist to heart and receiving the same in turn. “Thank you for your hard work today. May Sina keep you.” He turned and left, hand falling to his side and rounded his team up. You mount up on Umber and reach out to grab Erebos’s reins. “Captain Levi, we’re heading home.” You tell him gently, while others are still in earshot. “Please stay awake. We will stick to the shadows and avoid conflict.” 

Eld, close by and able to barely maneuver the reins of his own steed, is also playing the part of an injured soldier bravely sticking to the last threads of his dignity. A trail of blood is drying from the corner of his mouth, through his goatee and down his throat, where it created a rusty brownish spot on his sage green tee. He seems to sit at an angle in the saddle, supporting an arm on his knee, as though his elbow is now too heavy to hold up.

Once the Garrison Troops are out of eyeshot however, both drop the act with such relief you heard a thick sigh coursing from Eld’s lungs. “I really hope that worked.” He wished loudly over the horses hoofbeats, rolling his shoulders. “That was a ridiculous waste otherwise.”

“Hey, was that a training day I missed, Eld? ‘How to act like a whiny wounded bitch?’”  
“Watch it, newbie.” 

You crack a lazy smile. The fact that they did what they did is no less than astonishing, it spoke to the level of trust within this group. Levi believed enough in this plan that he implemented it immediately, as it was the best opportunity. He felt in his bones that this judgement call should pay off, and that Erwin would approve. Calaneth is a bit out of the way though, so the ride back would be taxing when weaving shadows to avoid letting the sun highlight your positions. 

Levi rode up beside you. He’d been dropped back in thought. There was no formation right now, nobody cared. Too tired for that shit. “You defended my orders to Oluo.” He remarked coolly, stormy greys concentrated ahead. 

“Was I not meant to?”  
“You were.” He said. “But I’d like to know if that would still be the case if this situation were real.”  
“I believe that evidence would come to light at my court martial.”  
“Then you wouldn’t?”

“Broken ribs can equal internal bleeding, which can equal death. If you are beyond my help in the field, I would bring you to the closest source of assistance and risk disciplinary action. But I would also know we could leave you and Eld in the Garrison’s care, ride back out ourselves to headquarters, and report directly to Commander Erwin. If he is not there, then whoever the next highest-ranking officer would be. This seems like a logical course of action, no?”

“Hm.” He hummed. _’Not hopeless at all.’_ “And if you believed for a second we aren’t safe with the Garrison?”

“As in…if I thought you both might be murdered or ‘die’ on an operating table?”

“Sure. That, or just a ‘not safe’.”  
“If I felt that danger is too imminent to risk transporting you both a certain distance, as unfortunately was once the case…I would guess that Oluo should ride out alone since he has a better grasp of the surroundings and can certainly defend himself. I would stay and watch over you both. That’s a scenario where there are no clear answers.”

He again says nothing towards whether he approves or disapproves. That’s true, it is not a pleasant scenario. Scouts must wait for medical assistance very frequently when coming in from expeditions. This scenario suggests that help is within reach, but perhaps not reliable. He noted that you take enough stock in your capabilities to believe you’d be able to fend off any with ill intentions. Levi is again content to count you among the roster of Special Operations. This inadvertently became another foray into aptitude testing.

Further titan encounters were skillfully evaded. The castle would loom up again as before in the coming hours, now with dusk engrossed in the hems of the land like a good book. Levi and Eld had to resume their injured act and would be brought inside. Horses and gear would be dealt with aside, and you and Oluo now hovered in sick bay beside a blond and a ravenette. Levi insisted that Commander Erwin come down before being attended to (pissing off Dr. Edlund to no end) but the man had to obey this demand. 

Erwin arrived in short order and would visit with Levi, Eld and Oluo, while you stepped outside and posted up so none could approach and eavesdrop. You don’t listen to them. Mostly you’re facing the wall, eyelids drooping from the lack of action. 

“Haz…?” You blinked up to the owner of this tentative voice. It was a familiar teen, who was sporting a few bandages on his fingers. “Armin. What happened?”

“Blisters.” He said, turning his façade down to appraise his hands. “We had a lot of manual labor today.”

Hard to fake not knowing, but your exhaustion helps when you can hide behind it. “Oh. They make you shovel the stables out again?”

“I wish.” Armin sighed wistfully. “A-anyway, that doesn’t matter. I’m glad I found you.” You watch him, trying not to let your expression rearrange. A twitch raises an eyebrow. Why is this ‘poker face’ thing so tough?! He seems to take it as a cue to continue. “I uh…we didn’t talk about what happened in the…th-the library.” He spat it out with a faint stutter, embarrassed to recall this incident. You realize then how powerful a tool silence can be. He is waiting for you to respond, but you don’t. He plows ahead again nervously, needing to fill the divide. “And then at Quill Hollow…_Walls,_ would you PLEASE say something Haz, you’re killing me here!”  
“I was waiting for you to finish.” You said plainly. “What did you need to say?”

He’s openly relieved that you responded. “Well, thank you for being understanding. For not…well, I don’t think you hate me. _Do_ you hate me?”

“Armin, do you hear yourself? Why the hell would I hate you?”

“I uh…I…really…didn’t…make things easy. When our officers and Commander Erwin walked in on us like that in the library and I was crying and---” He turned his face away, trying not to well up again. Jeez, either he really is a delicate, or Erwin wasn’t kidding about the boy being sensitive. Perhaps today drained his will to fight that down. “Armin, if you’ll recall, I hugged you back. No, I do not _judge_ you per se. I think you are very sensitive, and that can’t be easy in a place such as this.” You force a smile for his sake.

“It can also be a strength if you will it to be. Sensitivity is in short supply when we run headlong into danger, not many have the courage to hold onto it.” You reached out and poked his heart, making him blink wide. You felt the door creak at your back, but Armin is too zeroed in on your words to note the line of light opening, the stillness in the room behind your back. “So if you can, hang onto it for their sakes _and_ yours. You feel things deeply, Armin. Learn to compartmentalize, and you’ll make it through fine. Best of all, you might manage to come out of this whole shit show intact. Now get that scrawny little ass over to your friends, kid. You need to be with them.”

He blushed fiercely, nodded once, and left. You watched.

“Has he gone?” Erwin’s voice asked from the crack in the door after a ten count. When Armin disappeared around the corner with a last small wave, you confirm. “Yes, sir.” You step away from the door and turn to face him as he opens the door, stepping out. He regards you warmly. “You know how to turn a phrase, Ms. Aaltonen.” 

“He’s in a fragile mental state, sir. I didn’t want to crush him.”

“Ah, indeed?” He seems amused and turns to head off towards the medical office. “With me, then. This ought to be quick.”

You gesture with your head towards the closed door. “What about them?” 

“Oluo has already given his own account of events and will be staying with Eld and Levi until Gunther is free. I must speak with the doctor then I will hear your report while it’s fresh in your mind. In privacy, of course.”

“Yes, sir.”

He isn’t tired of you calling him ‘sir’, Erwin felt different hearing the term cross your lips. He was not fully certain of why yet, but he thought he might not mind hearing that behind closed doors. Quite the same…he didn’t know if he should draw a line with _that_. He wanted you to continue seeing him as a man when protocol did not dictate that he must be treated as Commander. When things become private, he wanted a break. He wanted to be Erwin Smith, not _Scout Commander_ Erwin Smith. That’s the only respite he’d get to have.

Still, the thought of you granting all power over yourself and deferring to his title and calling him ‘sir’ in a bedroom situation was…_stirring_.

Dr. Edlund was apprised of the situation as were his assistants, and they knew what to do from here on. They’d been thoroughly vetted ahead of time for other reasons, Erwin trusted the medical staff implicitly to carry out orders. He’d then escort you to his office. Anticipation filled the edges of your mind, rising up like a tide. You wanted to be alone with him last night. This is still so new. Boundaries haven’t been established. 

The thing is, he likely will want a report. It must line up with everything that’s been said by the others. Keep your shit straight, and don’t lie. Erwin infamously knows a person is about to lie even before they do. Hell, apparently, he even knows when they’re lying to themselves. He can read people so ideally; it borders on mind reading. 

The door clicked shut. You would tell Erwin everything. He listens and writes. You realize he knows how to use silence far better than you did against Armin. With this perfectly straight poker face of his, intense gaze and his otherwise intimidating stature; the man can use that pressure to squeeze information out of a subject without uttering _a single word._ A shift in body language is more than enough for him ordinarily. A sign that one might be boring him, testing his patience, or otherwise. Veiled threats that cause lesser people’s arm hairs to stand straight on end; particularly if they know what he’s capable of.

They **certainly** heard the rumors.

“…and that’s how everything went down.” You concluded after a lengthy report. This left you feeling more tired than before, recalling the contents of today. Erwin wrote a few more lines, considering the following: _’Perhaps it is unnecessary to send the cadets away. If there is a traitor…they can be used.’_ Yes. They could be used nicely, in fact. A plan pulled together in his mind. So far, nobody was going to be sharing the details of what happened. The Garrison Regiment would have a report of their own.

But if there’s a mole in the Cadets, then he would feed them a very different story that lined up with what they saw.

Last, he’d let the Military Police hear another version entirely, also lining up with the appearance of events.

Depending on how things shook out, he might yet find out where the leak is coming from and how to stop it. If the Female Titan is who they think it is, and that’s sounding very likely given the facts they had from the 57th Sortie, then Erwin had a feeling he knew what’d happen. For now, he had to hope that Industry City would come through on those designs. He made sure to have somebody competent take the required measurements then get the information into the right hands. He’d been waiting for correspondence on the issue. With fortune holding out and no short amount of wrangling logistics and political maneuvers, Erwin Smith might yet flush out this damnable Titan Shifter. And then some if things went _especially_ well.

His expression betrays none of this, but you’re beginning to smirk. “Is that smoke I’m smelling, or just your thought process?” 

“Cute.” He muttered, tucking the papers away into a locked drawer. “That was a dangerous gambit, Haz. But Levi trusted in you enough to attempt it. I’m relieved it went well, though they both did sustain some minor injuries in the process.”

“Hopefully nothing that’ll hamper their performance when the time comes. Neither Eld nor Captain Levi appeared in much distress on the ride back.” You got up and opened the door, checking to make sure nobody was eavesdropping. You also thought to check _behind_ the door before closing it again and turned to find that Erwin had gotten up and approached. He easily pushed you to the wooden surface and swooped in for a soft kiss on the mouth, cocking his head at an angle with his hands on each side of your face. You’d kiss him back, reaching up to touch his hair like you’d been wanting to do. It’s surprisingly soft. Not silky like Levi’s, but it slips through your digits easily. Erwin pulls you closer when your hand is up the back of his head, taking another kiss. He’s a bit taller, he has to lean down. Though he didn’t exactly mind much ordinarily, he’d been staring down at paperwork a lot, and his neck disliked this position today. His hands slid down your neck, your shoulders, to your elbows then the curve of your waist. When they reach your hips he leans down further and catches under your thighs, boosting your entire body up as though you were no heavier than a feather.

You hugged his sides with your knees, placing both arms around his neck while deepening a kiss. When Erwin decides not to be standing with your back propped against the door just in case, he puts a forearm under your rear and holds you against his front one-armed like you weighed nothing. He’d turn and walk with you held up this way into his room. He didn’t want to be in the office anymore today. Fuck that paperwork. Fuck ON the paperwork, maybe. Uh...wait. No. Not now. Maybe later.

He wanted to sit on his much more comfortable bed, hold you on his lap, and experience you. When earlier you believed you might get lost in him, that role is presently reversed. Erwin’s doing that exact thing himself, detaching his lips from yours and turning to nuzzle into your neck. Apparently, the man wanted a bit of contact. You lightly trace your fingers up over his shoulders.

Erwin has settled into the crook of your neck and closed his eyes, arms wrapped snug about your body. Your legs are folded on either side of his lap against the mattress. You believe you probably don’t smell too appetizing from a day's work, but he doesn’t appear bothered. “What’s wrong?” You ask softly, sliding a palm up the back of his neck into his hair again. “Taking a break.” His muffled voice replies simply. 

“Ah.” You nose into his hairline and decide to mouth his neck, an action which surprised him a bit. He had been the one initiating contact primarily. But when you begin nibbling gently, sensually, careful not to litter bruises, he lets the tension bleed out of his shoulders. One long, slow lick over a tender spot makes his thoughts go a bit fuzzy. The nape of the neck, though so often associated with killing a titan only, is still rather sensitive when you’re ghosting your fingertips under his coat; back and forth across so smoothly and back again over his shoulders that he’s starting to feel weak. 

This already, so soon in, does not feel the same as a mere fling. For once he did not know how to interpret that. It’s been too long since he’d been able to let himself pursue a woman with so much happening, and yet…despite where this could easily go, Erwin discovered (and was disturbed by himself) that he couldn’t fuck you yet. He wanted to string the process out, like foreplay. Make the anticipation leading up to that act much more pleasurable. 

Well, he does like to edge. So, for now, he’d let some desire build. Though not confident he could hold back if you pushed him, he resolved to attempt. For now you seem content to tease certain erogenous zones and accept kisses, graduating in intensity. Erwin had to hesitate and collect his nerves before he let himself get too damn hard. Your warmth and weight situated over his lap does not assist in this matter. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, noting his reluctance. “Too fast?” You sit nose to nose, staring into the azure waters of his gaze with a sense of _want_ that he doesn’t think he can soon forget. “If we go any further,” He began, rubbing warm palms over the backs of your upper arms. You curse that your jacket is in the way. “I won’t be able to control myself, and there are things to get done.”

“Don’t hide behind your workload because you’re afraid you’ll hurt me, Erwin.”

Hm. Perceptive, but that was an easy one. “No,” He rejected lightly, urging you to move off his lap and turn so he could pull you back down to sit between his thighs, back to his front. The blond pulled a few hairs away from your neck and pressed his mouth to the juncture of neck and shoulder. “But if we did, neither of us are leaving this bed until morning.”

“Cocky bastard, threatening me with a good time like that.” You remark blandly, tilting your head aside to grant better access. 

Erwin’s response is cool and unbothered. “I wouldn’t call me that if I were you.” His nose was under your ear, and he'd fasten his mouth over the soft spot below it. You close your eyes during the fluttery sensation stirring to life somewhere below in your anatomy. “Well then, I’ll have see if you can back that up. Whenever you’re done playing hard-to-get.” How many men seem to believe they can last the whole night? The lowest, most spine-tingling laugh you’ve heard yet resonates from below your ear. “Baby girl, you can’t _handle_ me right now. I have no interest in prey that can’t fight back.” And his teeth locked on the side of your neck, pressuring but not breaking skin or bruising. You bit your lower lip at the threat.

Prey.  
…Prey?  
PREY?!  
Oh bitch, no you didn’t.

“You’re going to regret that.”

“How did you say…ah, ‘Don’t start things which you won’t finish’.” One of those large hands disappeared between your thighs as he tormented your neck, his index finger tauntingly drawing a circle over the most sensitive part of your body, still clothed but nonetheless a tease. “Was that what you said?” He asked innocently, timbre slick with toxic honey. 

A knock comes at the office door. Erwin stuck a kiss atop your head and got up, swinging a leg out behind you and letting his digits trail from your shoulder as you stared after him.

Ohhhh _hell_.


	18. Melt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anything can _melt_ when hot enough...metal, titans...self-control...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhiga: Armin’s shipping Reader-chan with the Commander~ 
> 
> I'm trying to make everything seem as probable as possible, from finding a solution to the Armored Titan in the abstract to mundane interactions where Reader-chan is speaking on a different level with certain characters. This isn't meant to give an illusion of favoritism, more that we're providing solutions to problems and thinking in that more three-dimensional space than others are prone to doing.

Melt

The one who interrupted was one of Hange’s squad, Goggles, conveying information that the Cadets finished their disciplinary action and seemed sufficiently humbled. He was to ask if there would be anything further for them. Erwin responded with a thing you didn’t hear well, since you had been in a daze about the rather cavalier way he not only ‘baby girl’d you, but pointed out that you couldn’t take him right now.

Son of a _bitch_, who does he think he’s underestimating, here?!

Still, it somehow wasn’t totally objectionable that he called you ‘baby girl’. This was the first point in your life during which you have been referred to by a pet name, though you frequently used them on others.

When Goggles left and Erwin didn’t return, you poked out of his bedroom and watched him from around the doorframe. He was scrawling thoughts down, already becoming embedded in work. You sighed and approached, only for him to stick an arm out and scoop you onto his lap. “Uh? Well that wasn’t much of a break.”

“It was more of one than I typically allow myself.” Erwin propped his chin on your shoulder and continued writing. You looked anywhere but at the paper, unsure if it really is okay to be sitting on his lap while he’s conducting any sort of business. Though he’s the one who pulled you in, so reasoned it’s probably fine. You avert your gaze down, looking at his writing. Erwin writes very neatly; a moderate slant, sweeping tails on the downward flourishes of certain characters. Easy to read, yet somewhat visually appealing. You smile a tiny bit.

Then you both hear footsteps and he lifted his head, eyeing you. There was no way you’d make it to the bedroom before that door opened. He put a hand on your shoulder with slight pressure downwards. Understanding his unspoken thought process, you dropped weight silently and delved beneath his desk without hitting your head, legs vanishing beneath without battering into his own _or_ the furniture. He was surprised at how fast you made yourself scarce. Neither of you talked about whether to let others in on knowing about this relationship, therefore…disappearing act. No sooner had he looked up did Hange burst in, “Erwin!!!” She exclaimed, breathless. You sat tucked under his desk, thankful that there were no gaps around the bottom.

“Hange. I’ve already spoken with—”

“That’s not it, that’s not it at ALL!” She waved this off and planked down in a chair without being invited as usual. The Commander regarded her with a neutral expression, knowing she’d fumble on into whatever it is she needed. The whole time, you were even _breathing_ softer. Hiding was a thing you had to get good at during your stint alone. Hence the ability to vanish with nary a noise. 

There was a crinkle of paper above your head. You shifted to peek up between his knees. Erwin opened the document he’d been handed, face vanishing from Hange’s sight for a moment as he did so. You caught the hint of a smirk at where he saw your head was, resting low on his thigh and paying attention as though your face wasn’t inches away from a compromising position.

“A messenger bird came from Industry City. They said they began work right away. Only problem is, it’s projected to be finished right before the Demonstrations with their current schedule.” She blinked, watching him lower the paper to the side. His façade was again cool indifference. “That certainly presents an issue.” 

“That’s an understatement, the only thing I can think to do is ask them to pull a few all-nighters to get it done. Like a rush order, maybe.” Hange grumbled a bit, putting a finger to her chin. Where your head was on Erwin’s leg, you thought, _’You can’t push everything, idiot…are you **trying** to cause a problem?’_

Out of his periphery Erwin caught your expression, how you immediately seemed cross. “Given the nature of the situation, we must take every precaution to rule out the possibility of any malfunctions.” You nodded approvingly, he felt the movement of your cheek up and down. “I am not an engineer where I can speak much to any of this. Fortunately, the design is simplistic. But these cannons we intend to utilize are antiques. I am more concerned with their efficacy with such a projectile.”

You nod once again. He acknowledges this by bumping a boot against your side. 

Hange blinked. “Engineer…wait! Yes, of course! I could travel to Industry City with Haz, we might be able to help them along and do the testing up there. Then we could meet at Stohess with the equipment and set up ahead of time with the Garrison Regiment’s assistance. I should go get her right away! Did she happen to say what she’d be up to after giving that report?”

You placed a finger upon his thigh, writing ‘N’ then ‘O’. He nudged your side again, message received.

“No. I dismissed her for the day afterwards.”

“Well, I suppose she might be asleep early then.” Hange sighed laboriously, acting put-upon. “By the way, Shorty already threatened me about the thermite experiment before he left with his team earlier. I’m planning to definitely get that done by tomorrow. Enough about that, what do you think about my idea?”

You reached out as Erwin drew breath to speak, slipping a hand under his waistcloth and drawing a circle between his thighs like he did to you before. He does not skip a beat. “I think that it requires additional thought. The concept has merit; however, we need to move very carefully from now on. There could well be other titans where those came from. Until the Garrison Regiment knows where they are coming from, we have to stay on alert.”

“Soooo…no?”

“So, we _wait.”_

“Erwin, we can’t afford to wait!” Hange refused, standing up. “This may be the only chance we get! Annie Leonhart is stationed in Stohess, the Demonstrations are held there; this can’t line up _any better._ I need you to approve this mission, it might be the only way we can make sure they’re done in time!”

_’Annie Leonhart?’_ You drew a ‘?’ on him. He doesn’t respond, especially when you did so over his clothed cock, eyes never leaving his face. He knows exactly what you’re doing and why, but that poker face isn’t wavering. Damn it. You resumed drawing circles, palmed him a little, smirked to yourself and wondered what it’d take to get Erwin to even make the tiniest reaction to Hange’s face.

A sigh is what arose from him at the Section Commander’s appeal. “I will need time to consider. And we both ought to sit down with Ms. Aaltonen herself when we are able. I would suggest tomorrow morning when she is not fatigued. She’s already made some rash decisions today; I don’t want this to be another.” You jabbed a finger above his manhood. He casually shifted his position in the chair, crossing his legs over your back. Your face was thus pushed hard into his mid- thigh, earning the Commander a glare. With both shoulders were under his knees, you had to put your arm down under the weight of his leg; or let your limb be pinched painfully between his weight and the chair edge. Pouting now, you want to tease him some more. If, indeed, he felt ‘teased’ to begin with.

“Yeah, I visited sick bay. Levi told me.” Hange shook her head, an action you don’t see. Her chair creaks slightly as she moved around to get comfy, sliding her posture down until the chair back is above with her shoulders, and she is able to prop her head back with her legs crossed lengthwise. You stared at Erwin’s waist cloth, seriously considering wresting an arm free, but don’t test it, resting your cheek against him and closing your eyes while listening, heaving a dramatically soundless sigh that causes his legs to rise slightly over your back with the expansion of your lungs.  
He is content that you were subdued from further attempts easily on his part, but then, he did not think you were trying too hard either. “Oluo should have been there with Levi and Eld. I intend to have Petra and Gunther watch over them for now, make a proper showing that we are concerned enough to maintain a guard rotation without going overboard. Which brings up another point, Hange.” His hand disappears from her sight, opening a drawer to the side to put a ruler and a couple stray writing implements away. After he closes it, his fingers brush smoothly across your scalp. “On paper, Eren Yeager is now down to a set of able-bodied guards. As we don’t know who the mole in our organization is, we need to act very carefully.”

“I know. Was this going to be worth it, do you think? That idea of hers with Levi Squad?” Hange’s face creased with frustration, but she knew he was right. Sending you away wouldn’t be beneficial. And Eren can’t be going to Industry City, simple as that, it’s too heavily guarded and he can prove unstable. 

“Levi seemed to have faith in the concept, as do I.” He let out a bit of the pressure on your back, moving one leg aside and seeing you open your eyes, blinking up at him again when his palm eased lightly across your hair again before nudging you backwards. Having gotten the message you slip back, cautious about making a noise. Erwin stood up and went to the window. Hange watched him. “What’re you thinking?”

“I am considering the ramifications.” Erwin said. “If they cannot get the bolas fabricated in time, we will need to find another means to draw Leonhart out. Everything comes down to this one gambit. In order to keep casualties to a minimum, there will be near zero margin for error.”

“A contingency plan?”

Both you and Hange saw him fold his arms behind his back. “Yes. Make certain that the restraint cannons are fit to be used. If all else fails, we will need to rely on them slowing her down enough for Levi Squad to intercept. I will continue thinking in the meantime.”

“Alright.” Hange assented, frowning through the smudges in her glasses. Taking them off to clean them was a bother with that banding keeping them snug in place. “What’re we going to do about the Demonstrations? Special Operations can’t be part of it now, not just Oluo and Haz…”

“Leave that to me, Hange. I need _you_ to concentrate on making certain our equipment is in working order.” He turned to eye her over his shoulder from the window. Hange got up. “Alright. I’ll let Haz know about tomorrow’s meeting if I see her.” 

Erwin nodded, watching her leave and closing the door behind. You waited a minute before slinking out of your hidey hole. “I now have a crick in my neck, _wonderful.”_

“You’re a menace.”

“Right back at you.” You snarked, rubbing your neck before unbuckling the harness strap over your chest to relieve a little pressure. He watched your progress through the room, going to plant yourself on the edge of his bed again. It was best to conduct conversation away from that door, just in case, this way you wouldn’t need to hide all folded up like a human fortune cookie. Erwin pivoted to watch you settle down. “Why didn’t you want to go to Industry City?”

“Our presence there wouldn’t speed anything along. We cannot force them to push the manufacturing process any faster than they’ll already go on their own. Doing so means flaws, which means this Leonhart person slipping through a weakened link, which means we’re screwed. Can’t speak for you, Erwin, but if I’m to be screwed, that is _not_ my preferred method.”

The Commander hummed, watching you reach an arm back and fit two fingers beneath the upper back plate of your harness. He crossed the threshold into his room at seeing this. “Turn around.” He instructed. You frowned, lowering your arm, and obeyed so that you were sitting half-lotus facing in towards the mattress. A pair of large hands immediately landed around your shoulders. _“Now_ who’s tense?” He asked, beginning to knead. Your shoulders are petite compared to his, though he could feel the tension of musculature beneath your jacket after sliding both hands under the fabric. This was made easier by how your harness was loosened. You thought you were going to die happy in that instant. You haven’t had a shoulder rub for ages. 

Erwin's hands were very warm, strong, and he could tell you were becoming very compliant beneath them. There was a rumbling laugh behind your head. “You got quiet.”

“Uh-huh…”

“I don’t believe I’ve done this for anyone in my life.” He thought aloud, continuing to do so. “Or if I had, it was years in the past.”

“When you talk like that, we don’t sound like we’re in the same age bracket.”

“Are you calling me old?”

“No, because then I’d also be calling _me_ old.”

“That saved me an argument.” He sighed and began to pull at your jacket. “Remove this.”

Doing so, you twitched a brow. “Are you bossy in every aspect of your life?” What response you got was for him to slide the shoulder straps down, letting them fall so there was nothing in the way but a shirt. Erwin rubbed your back a bit lower. You felt a spinal ‘pop’ and grunted. “Nng…I’ve been trying to make that go away for _weeks_…” It dawned on you that the Commander here is taking another break to attend to a person other than himself. You felt kind of bad until those warm fingers unleashed another point of tension. Then you were merely relieved he cannot see your slackening expression.

Erwin was more and more surprised as he worked that you were letting your guard down so much. Added to that how he could feel some of the ridged scars under the cloth and beneath _those_ was compact muscle tone, he was developing a coherent mental image of what's beneath that uniform. With both palms situated along your sides, he guided them over your waist, pressing his thumbs down along either side of your spine. Your body responded on its own, dropping your shoulders slightly and bowing your back out a little, eyes squeezed shut. Your lower back had some serious cramping going on. He worked on it, acutely reading how your body interacted with his touches.

This, he found, was kind of therapeutic for both of you; it is the longest Smith has gone without thinking about his many cares by soothing away the ones cinched tight in your back. He’d been concentrated on this and only this. 

“If you wanted to stay here and sleep, you could. Though Hange will be actively searching for you by now.” He voiced, gliding his touches up your back gently. 

“What, sleep in a strange bed alone while you work? No thanks. If you intended to join me, that’s a different story.” You yawned. He smiled in contrast. “Unfortunately, I have things which can’t be put off until tomorrow. I am likely to pull an all-nighter of my own.” 

Was that his way of asking you to keep him company? Well he said it himself, Hange will be looking. She’s persistent. “For claiming that you haven’t done this before, you’re damn good at it.” You compliment weakly when he began a neck rub. You drop your chin and expose the full expanse of your neck to him to give better surface area. Erwin likes that you respond so readily like this. It’s a form of submission whether or not you consciously realize that. He appreciated the idea of you giving in when he willed it; though primarily if you are relaxed, that makes it easier for him to do the same. “I always understood how to, though I suppose I was concerned I might hurt someone.”

“Erh…well, yeah. You’d be too heavy handed for a civilian, say.” 

The blond purposefully alleviated a bit of the pressure behind his lingering touches. “Then I’d be gentle with them.” He murmured and situated a kiss atop your skull. You leaned backwards and looked at him upside-down, the top of your head against his abs. “Thank you, handsome. I’m not as tense now.” He smiled his response down at you and leaned into a kiss. His upper lip was against your bottom one and you felt his exhalations dusting your chin. At such a unique angle you were amazed he didn’t tire of it faster, an inverted kiss that lasted a satisfying span of moments.

Then Erwin must have needed to switch his posture; as he straightened up and descended to your left, an arm supporting across your back so you wouldn’t dip backwards off the edge of his bed. His palm turned your head and you immediately caught another kiss. The sense of ‘want’ burbled up again when grasping his lower lip gently with your teeth, pushing in before he could. Your own palm is softer when compared to his. You place it against his jaw, opposite hand crossing to hold the fingers tucked around your shoulder. Erwin doesn’t let you intrude in his mouth for long, easily able to push into yours instead with nearly no force. 

There was this floaty sensation heightening across your nerves. Your brain was so laden in happy chemicals you could not think straight from kiss to kiss; breaking apart for smaller, teasing ones in between and still propelled by the need to latch back on for deeper contact moments later. You’re an adrenaline junkie out in the field, but this? _This_ is a different high, one you could see yourself becoming hooked on. What warmth accumulated between your bodies was pulling you down into a clouded lull, with Erwin smirking into your mouth now as he felt more and more of your weight shifting against his arm. He ended with a playful tug on your lower lip in the way you’d begun it, orbs bright with amusement when your own lashes perked upwards in surprise. “Did you start falling asleep in my mouth?” He asked plainly, that damnable grin lingering out and about. You grunted an incomprehensible thing under your breath and straightened up under your own power, grabbing the leather of your harness and pulling it up over both shoulders. Your lip throbbed slightly around where his teeth caught.

“Hm?”  
“What? No…”  
“Liar.” He retorted smugly, buckling the chest strap above the swells of your breasts before you could. You’d sigh loudly at him. “I am not capable of being irritated by your attitude right now, _Commander.”_

“I hope you understand what calling me that in here might do during future encounters.”  
“Yeah. It might cause you to order me around.”  
“Then watch your mouth if you aren’t interested in that.” He worked his fingers expertly under the straps, checking to make sure they were adjusted properly. One should be able to fit a couple digits beneath them snugly. Having them on too tight (as you have done in the past) can cause injuries. “We aren’t talking about that right now, remember?” You correct Erwin. “You have taken a vow of celibacy.”

“I don’t recall taking a vow. I _do_ recall saying that you can’t handle me right now.” He lowered his head to peck you on the mouth once more, noses touching. You rubbed yours against his, like an eskimo kiss. “Whenever you’re done being pure as the driven snow~” You’d get up and pick up your jacket, which was half over a pillow with the Wings of Freedom on display. After tugging it back on, Erwin decided to accompany you to dinner. You fixed your hair on the move, thinking up an excuse for if Hange or another bumped into you both in the corridors. “Am I meant to stand guard at medical tonight?”

“No. Arrangements have already been made. You’ve earned your sleep.”

You lowered your voice. “And if Hange approaches me?”

“Then I’ve already run into you in the hall and spoke to you about tomorrow. Directly after breakfast. You’re to skip drills in favor of getting that experiment out of the way.” _’She won’t leave it alone anyhow.’_ The blond Commander thought, exasperated. He wasn’t positive that this thermite crap would be applicable, but then, he also has yet to see what it can do. “I intend to observe the experiment.”

“Hah, alright. Expect her to be even more off her rocker than usual. Thermite has a very…uh…’showy’ reaction. Still, I might be more efficient with a cutting torch and about five good men if this Armored bastard is laying prone in the first place.”

This earned a cross between a laugh and a scoff. “Hmph, indeed.”

Arriving early to dinner at the mess hall with Erwin had an unusual effect. He isn’t frequently seen in the common area on account of having too much work to accomplish. “Do you know something,” You began in a drawl, concentrating ahead. “They’re only astonished that you’re here because the presiding rumor is that you subsist off a diet of alcohol, fear, tea and cadet tears.” 

“Of course.” He responded loftily. “What else would I brew my tea with?”  
“Sounds kind of salty.”  
“Not at all. Cadet tears taste of sweet, youthful innocence.”  
“Next time I see one crying I’ll give it a shot.”

Erwin’s mouth had curved into the vaguest of smiles. Miche and Hange were up ahead, with Hange eyeing both of you suspiciously. “Heeeeey…I was just searching high and low for you.” She said, narrowing her sepia orbs. You stare at her. “I’m told you wanted to speak with me, Section Commander?”

“Yeah but…where WERE you, Haz?”  
“Took a walk. If I stop moving for too long, I feel like I’m going to fall asleep.”

Miche was sniffing while Erwin went to grab food, the traces of humor lingering on his countenance. “Well, you might as well eat, honey. We can talk about this over dinner.”

Dinner with the top brass, fantastic. You’d need to be careful how you played this. You nodded and grabbed your own food, seeing as the place wasn’t full yet that happened quickly. Erwin already reappeared with his own food, which is exactly the same ration as everybody else. You had no doubt that he could have something better. Apprehension started constructing an icy wall around your stomach cavity as you sat across from Hange, unintentionally landing beside Erwin since he was across from Miche and they were already conversing in low tones. Your lips quirked into a smile before taking a drink, as Hange watched on steadily. “I could’ve _sworn_ I looked everywhere.” She remarked again. “Huh. Where’d you go for a walk?”

“Started inside, went outside for a bit, came back in. Why? Did something else happen, Section Commander?” Erwin appearing to ‘find’ you in the hallway should be a self-explaining excuse, given how he walked in with you. She didn’t need to know you’d been under his desk hiding during their conversation and then making out with the man after he was sweet enough to give a backrub.

“No, no.” She waved this off, feeling rather silly. Well _no wonder_ why she didn’t find you if you’d been outside, she only checked the stables before heading back in. Hange had no clue what she was thinking you might’ve been up to. Perhaps she was hoping that Erwin walking in with you meant something more than it did, her and Miche both knew how you spoke with the Commander back in Vanaheim. 

At your questioning expression, she nodded a little, mixing her food. “The thermite experiment is happening tomorrow, we have approval. And there’s going to be a little meeting also. You’ll be skipping drills.”

“What about Eren?” You queried, frowning.

“Oluo can watch him.” She answered readily. “Petra will be posted at sick bay, and Gunther is going to help with training drills tomorrow. He’s been without incident long enough to give him some leeway. Well, you know, outside of him nearly turning his cadet friends into soggy titan chow!” 

You chewed and swallowed, watching her curiously. Hange didn’t appear to care about what they did, despite being a higher-up. It was hard to remember she has any authority at all when she’s so bubbly and crazy, right now you didn’t feel much as though you were eating with both Section Commanders and the Commander of the Survey Corps himself. Petra and Gunther were likely away eating with Levi and Eld, the usual spot was empty. And the Cadets were now eating somewhere out of eyesight behind your back, with Armin in particular noting whose company you were counted amid tonight. He hid a silly grin.

He kind of had this feeling that you liked Erwin but kept that to himself. The way you drew him was different from the others. And…he had to admit…you looked _good_ next to the taller blond. 

Eren and Mikasa were happy to see their childhood friend cracking his day-long grim façade. For what they had no idea, but it is still pleasant to see their ray of sunshine shining his smile around again.

At the ‘grown-ups table’, Hange launched into a cacophony of giggles interspersed with speaking of how much fun tomorrow would be, how she’s been looking forward to this, and that ‘Shorty can’t do anything about it when he’s laid up in bed, mwahah!’ Miche shook his head slowly, breaking his bread in half and taking a bite. Erwin blinked up when the brunette turned towards him. “You’re still coming right?!?!”

“My answer hasn’t changed from fifteen minutes ago, Hange.”

“Awh…_did_ I ask?! I’m so excited!”

“Oh, is that what the wiggling is about?” You asked blandly, watching her squirm and place her hands together as though praying. “I thought you were trying not to piss yourself.”

“She might.” Miche suggested, eyeing the woman to his side as she emoted obliquely. “I’ve seen it happen.”

“Oh shit, like…she happy-peed? Like a dog?”

_“Exactly_ like a dog.”

You covered your mouth mid-bite, turning your head away politely to laugh behind a napkin when Zoe whirled in the spot to grab Miche’s jacket and shake him. “You should come along too, tomorrow will be GRAND!”

“If I go, who’s going to run drills?”

“Make the team leaders do them! Come oooon, this is the most exciting experiment I’ll have had a chance to run in YEARS! You’re ALWAYS out there, Miche, have some fun with us for once!”

“He’ll have to think about that Hange. Don’t pee yourself.”

“!!!” Erwin made a joke in PUBLIC again?! Her orbs shifted to you, hands over her mouth. You raised your head and blinked back. “Hey, don’t look at me. _You’re_ the one with bladder control issues.” It was _too easy_, Erwin basically set it up so either Miche or yourself could finish knocking her down.

She busted up laughing wildly, slapping the table. There was a split second of quiet surrounding her insane cackles, but the room resumed prior activity upon seeing it’s only R&D’s mad scientist being herself. You turned away slightly, facing more towards Erwin and Miche, shaking your head. “Moblit said she’s no more insane than himself or I. I’m starting to feel insulted.”

Hange abruptly stiffened, turning red with her eyelids popped wide. Wait. Did she actually?! Nooo…no way, she _didn’t._ She’s a grown woman. Still, too damn easy not to remark. You turned back to Erwin. “Sir, I need to visit the Quartermaster tomorrow, should I ask him to order cloth diapers for the Section Commander?”

“Permission granted.”  
You cracked up. That got a hearty snort out of the stalwart Miche Zacharias, even.

After dinner you made tea and walked it down to medical, bumping the door open and stepping inside to see Eld chatting with Oluo, and Levi listening to them. You didn’t quite catch what was being said, but they seemed rather content to see the big pot of tea. “Oh, where are Petra and Gunther?” You asked, surprised. There were two cups for them as well. You began pouring. “They went to eat. I’ll go now that you’re here.” Oluo said, relieved. “They’re coming down after dinner.”

“Alright.” Oluo had brought the tea you poured to Levi while you brought one to Eld, then your fellow upright teammate left to eat. You sat down in the chair he’d been occupying. “Bored silly yet?” You asked them. Levi grunted a thing you didn’t fully hear, and Eld jerked a shoulder. “More like, pretending to be wounded is getting old quick.” 

You got up and checked in the hall discreetly before turning back around and eyeing both of them. “Have any of the Cadets come sniffing around?”

“Boy have they ever.” Eld sighed. He reached back unthinkingly with his hand and forearm in too many bandages, only to again be reminded of the limited dexterity. His hair was messed up and he was getting annoyed by it. You caught his agitation and approached. “Want help?”

“Please.” He sat forward and you perched on the edge of his bed, with Levi watching as you removed the blond’s hair tie and proceeded to card your fingers through his hair, straightening the strands out before pulling them back smooth over his scalp into the makings of a ponytail. “You wanted it back up, right?”

“Yeah.” He sipped his tea one handed, eyelids drifting a little at the feeling of digits gliding across his scalp. This was a nice sensation, one he forgot since Eld was a bit touch-starved himself. “I’m the reason you both are in this mess, there’s no reason I can’t help.” You remarked softly, tying his hair back. “Too tight?”

“A little—wait yeah, that feels better. Thanks.”

“No problem.” You reached across and adjusted the covers and pillows since one of his hands was made nearly useless with those bandages. Then you went to Levi’s side and did the same thing. He watched like a hawk, betraying nothing as Eld smirked a little at him. It felt nice to be fussed over by somebody who isn’t Petra. “Need anything?” You asked Levi, adjusting the pillows that’d been smushed against his headboard. He relaxed against their renewed fluffiness, and momentarily wished you could simply lay down next to him. 

“You’ve already brought what I wanted.” 

You nodded. Petra had been a bit overboard on the touchy-feelies, and he was craving the touch of your skin to his own. With your back blocking Eld’s view, you reached and touched Levi’s cheek, though certainly without knowing what he couldn’t convey. He leaned against your palm. You ran your thumb over his cheekbone with a fond smile before retracting too fast for his taste, though he got why you couldn’t linger. His blue-tinged greys softened upon your face for that chaste second. 

From Eld’s vantage point, he couldn’t see anything but what appeared to be you fixing Levi’s askew top blanket, like you’d done for him. You would turn away and Ackerman seemed exactly as bored as usual. The blond’s stomach flopped on your behalf; it can’t be easy attempting to care for a person so stoic. There would be no indications he appreciated anything. 

“Dr. Edlund says we can transfer to our rooms in a couple days.” Eld said, watching you go to sit and sip your own tea. “That’ll be good.” You respond nonchalantly. “May as well be more comfortable.”

“Won’t be able to attend D-Day, though.”  
“A pity. You seemed to be looking forward to that.”

He wrinkled his nose in distaste. You cocked an eyebrow, and Levi appeared irritable. “Tch…it’s not as though a demonstration would make a measurable difference one way or another.” The Captain grunted. “They’ve made up their minds in the capital long ago.”

“I seem to recall hearing that _not_ having a proper showing is worse.”

“Yeah. Because they think we don’t care.” Levi said. “The MPs put on a huge show, the Garrison Regiment is more scaled back. We don’t have the numbers to compete with what they do, so the Scout Regiment’s demonstration rests heavily on _this_ squad. Which is now impossible for this year.” You nodded, listening. Levi remarked once on the way back that if things do go according to plan and casualties are at a minimum, then this would be better than any synchronized display the Special Operations Squad could pull off. This would be showing what the Scouts _do_, up front and center. 

Added to the pressure…the 105th Cadet Corp would be there, to bear witness to each Regiment’s demonstrations and influence their decisions going forward as to which they should join when the 105th was disbanded. This could prove tremendously beneficial or detrimental, with little wiggle room in between. Your thoughts lingered towards earlier, when you pressed into Erwin’s legs and listened to Hange natter on and on. 

In order for this to work, the 104th Cadets, who are currently under surveillance, were going to be treated as though traitors lingered in their midst. If this holds true then they’d have found a way to send information ahead. The aviary was usually empty of messenger birds with the full amount of them sent out on deliveries at nearly any given time. A single bird remained, but that one was for emergencies and was trained to only fly to the Mitras Aerie. 

If there was a traitor among the 104th, they would need to either enlist aide to deliver a message or do so themselves. With guards topside every hour of the day and night that would not be easy. Their departure would be spotted and reported.

Therefore, the Commander decided it was not necessary to send them away during the investigation. For now, those kids would be kept otherwise engaged. Information would ‘slip out’ the way it always has, and rumor would circulate rapidly as ever. Come next week, Stohess should be primed for the Survey Corps to execute their plan.  
You would lower your voice mindfully. “I know you’re both bound to get bored but take what rest you can. Healing up is the only way to guarantee—” You broke off, turning towards the door the same time as Levi and Eld. There was a faint creak, and you thought you heard the swift patter of boots on stone flooring. Covering the distance in a few strides, you wrenched it open and peered out. A heel was vanishing around the corner, but you didn’t see who it belonged to.

“Who the hell was that?”  
“Didn’t see.” You remark, heading fully into the hall. Nobody in sight, they covered enough distance rapidly. You returned to the room. “Whoever that was, they’re fast.”

Levi’s expression darkened.  
On a base full of scouts, many of them very disenchanted with their mission here after the 57th Expedition, the 104th Cadets weren’t the only suspects.

_The Following Day, Outside…_

Hange was a ball of excitement, zinging around the R&D lab while you stood with a kerchief pulled up around your nose and a pair of borrowed goggles. “Aiiie you’re so CUTE with goggles!” She gushed. “So so so cute!!!”

“…” She accidentally bumped your elbow in her solo waltz past your person and you pushed the goggles up to your forehead to glare at her better, with all the poison in the world. “Section Commander,” You grit through your teeth. “I now have to measure this AGAIN because you continue to run into me while I am making PRECISE MEASUREMENTS!”

“Ooooo~ she’s even cuter when she’s _mad.”_ Hange cooed, and bounced away when you latched onto the nearest solid object and hurled it at her head—a cup, which shattered against the wall. “CUTE?! I am not CUTE I will have you know, I’m a grown woman!”

“Hey! Stop throwing things! I could court martial you for assaulting a superior, you know!”

“You think to threaten ME while I have access to highly flammable substances?!” You threatened, voice going raw with anger. This is the seventh time…._seventh._ SEVENTH. As in the number ‘7’, that you had to re-do your measurements because crazy woman over there kept intervening in some way. She’s fun, but she wears on your nerves very fast. Moblit is usually quick to intervene before things get out of hand, and little are you aware at this point that Miche and Erwin have seen the situation unfolding.

Miche is standing aside with his childhood friend, just outside the door, as they peer in and hang out of the way while waiting for this demonstration. “Aaltonen’s got some serious rage on her.” Zacharias remarked, eyeing how Moblit put himself in harm’s way before you threw a knife. “And you uh…_like_ her?”

Now, Erwin figured that Miche would find out. The guy’s nose knows, he is generally intuitive, and they’ve known one another since boot camp in the Cadet Corps. The Commander usually let his defenses down a bit around his best friend, enabling the other to know easier when the man was giving a run-around and refused to provide straight answers. But in this situation, he had to cave a bit, it was only fair and he was asking because he cared. “How long have you known?”

“Since before she did.”  
“Vanaheim?”  
“Yeah. Vanaheim.”

Erwin let a smirk make itself known. “She has a fire in her belly, certainly. But there’s more to her than that.” He couldn’t fault you for maintaining a well of furor. He did the same. Everybody here does. It’s like a secondary fuel source in combat.  
“Doesn’t hurt that she’s got a nice ass on her, anyway.”  
“Watch it.” Erwin said, smirk broadening when Moblit shakily kept Zoe away, who was peering over his shoulder and mocking you relentlessly.

“Going to do something about it?”

He knew better than to ask which ‘something'. Miche is too blunt to be asking about if Erwin would be stepping in to rescue Moblit and Hange, they’re totally capable of helping themselves. “Who says I haven’t done something already?”

“The fact that you are being so cagey about it.” Miche knows this guy way too well. Erwin’s a go-getter. Should he want for something, he’d go and get it unless it took more planning than that. This also applies to people. This is the very same man, who, when he had designs on getting Eren Yeager into the Survey Corps, he schemed with Levi Ackerman to pull off just enough of a theatrical performance to pull him in. The others never had a prayer. Far as the Scouts were concerned, Yeager’s fate was decided before hitting that courtroom. 

Erwin could feel Miche’s verdant stare x-raying him before leveling back at the debacle unfolding in the lab. Hange was too impatient, which continued to cause delays in your work process. You finally finished mixing the batches and were checking through your book to ascertain a few pieces of information. “She doesn’t care about my title.” He said to his childhood friend at long last, leaning in the door frame with his arms crossed. “It isn’t easy to find a woman who sees beyond the uniform. Back then that is how she saw us, as fellow human beings. I’m not fully convinced she sees us much differently now.”

“I don’t think she does either.”

“Mm.” Erwin hummed. You held up the bags of thermite, weighing before giving them over. One to Nifa, one to Goggles, one to Hange and one for yourself. Erwin and Miche approached once they started heading outside, to where the titans were both strapped face-down on the ground. You were wearing heavy leather gloves and pulled the goggles back down. “Alright. So the nape is the last place we want to apply this—“ You paused when Nifa’s bag slipped from her fingers and plunked to the grass. She cowered immediately, hands up to her face as though to guard, but you planted your hands on your hips and stared at her until the woman realized she wasn’t smithereens.

“U-uh…it didn’t…?”

“I promise if it was going to go off on you, you couldn’t drop it fast enough.” You drawled, your own bag forgotten at your ankle. “Stop being so nervous. Now, first is proof of concept, you have the plate metal set up?”

“Yeah, over here.” Hange said. You went over with her to the stack of metal. “Now here’s where you can get seriously hurt.” You warned Hange and her team, while Miche and Erwin were mostly lingering near the door in the shade. They continued to talk as you set up the experiment, walking backwards with a long fuse. Being so concentrated on the job at hand, you didn’t note that they stopped talking when you landed within earshot of them. “Once this lights up, it can’t be stopped. Try not to stare long at the reaction, it burns very bright. With me so far?”

“Yes yes!” Hange shimmied in place. Her team had pulled their goggles down. You lit the fuse. “Keep clear.” 

When lit the spark tracked up the fuse, they weren’t sure what to expect…certainly not the vivid display of screaming hot sparks that roared to life, cutting through steel in a molten shower. Hange screamed and bounced up and down with a hand on Moblit’s shoulder, their team catching the germ of enthusiasm and shouting excitably with their words lost over the earsplitting fizzle. This drew Miche and Erwin closer, staring at the aftermath once it was done. Having seen this kind of thing before you were on to preparing the next experiment while they appreciated the show. You were now atop the smaller titan’s back, calling down to the gang. “Not bad, huh? Four thousand degrees of heat that can’t be put out. Cuts through most things nicely, hence why it’s used in exothermic welding.” You stomped a boot on the titan’s back, causing the beast to protest. “That’ll bust through a monster like this without breaking a sweat.”

You knelt down and held up the plate of metal, which was meant to resemble the approximate thickness of the Armored’s hull and knocked a fist on it. “Solid sheet, yet again. We don’t know the density or material the Armored Titan’s shell is comprised of; this will be our proxy for today. I’m going to place it about _here_, across the left side of the rib cage, which is where one of the larger guard plates are.” You put it down and began rigging up the charge and tossed down the roll of fuse before climbing down as well. “If you would,” You said to Hange, who lit the fuse this time with hands made quivery by excitement. 

Upon the spark reaching its thermite yet again, there was another hail of sparks rising high with a screeching hiss. With a glow rivaling that hot orb in the sky, it was hard to look straight into, so most wouldn’t…Hange was fast possessed of the need to avert her eyes after a second. She already had vision troubles and didn’t need worse ones. 

The titan on the receiving end of this demonstration was screaming bloody murder, but with those binds couldn’t thrash free. They hadn’t seen a titan react in such a way before…perhaps it was attributed to having metal melted not only onto its back, but fizzled down into its very flesh. Acrid smoke intermingled with steam wafted heavy into the area, probably scaring the shit out of the guards up top. You batted at the air, coughing under your bandanna. The substance not only broke through that metal, but managed to burn down through the titan’s body and to the grass underneath.

Once there was nothing but ringing in everyone’s ears and a titan groaning its complaints, you turned and picked up the next bag of thermite and remaining unused fuse line. 

As it is thankfully a breezy day though, the airborne filth was brushed in a southerly direction, and the group could have a nice look. You were on to the next thing. Nifa raised her head from where they were now gathered—including Erwin and Miche---on the titan’s back. “Hey, Haz! Don’t you want to see what happened?”

“I already knew how that'd shake out.” You said, kneeling down and placing a curved plate of metal on the back of the titan’s calf. Since it’s not going to stay in place without help, you had asked Hange to make sure the ones for this part of the experiment would have holes drilled in the corners. You took a hammer and a spike, fit it in the first corner hole, aimed, and drove it down. The spike squelched into hot flesh, with the titan attempting to free itself again and yowling so loudly, though the world was deaf to its torment. Everybody wavered in place as it jostled. “H-hey! Wait, would you?” Goggles shouted. Miche turned and watched you warily when your only response was to continue hammering the metal spike in. There was a terrible sound as it struck through meat into bone. _‘Crunch’!_

“Hey, anybody getsh the urge to help, don't fight it. Start the other shide.” You spoke distorted with a metal spike in the corner of your mouth, hammering in the second large nail, bandanna down around your neck. Goggles, Hange and Nifa scrambled, with Erwin continuing to stare through the smoking tunnel of meat left by your experiment, spanned with silvery rivulets of now-hardened steel. Miche leaned close and muttered, not humorlessly:

“Your girl is kind of scary.”


End file.
